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Have you ever had a weird job or experience?
- Thread starter AJUMP23
- Start date
VN1X
Banned
"Where ya goin luv?" This you?
jufonuk
not tag worthy
She gave out ? Is that a sex thing ?
jufonuk
not tag worthy
Used to work in blockbuster. Once someone threw a firework over the counter at me. I was the only one on shift. I Wanted to not work the rest of the shift. But the boss made me continue. In hindsight wish I just said fuck it and closed up the store. But being as it was my first job. I was young and didn’t know better. (Had the balls to say fuck it)
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IWasInSeinfeld
Member
When I used to work at a cash register, every day was weird because of all kinds of people I had to encounter.
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
What can I get from you for $20.....where are these paintings?
chromhound
Member
i fucked my boss when i was working in a grocery store (7 years).
West Texas CEO
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
If you're not fucking something at a retail job, you're doing something wrong.
(congratulations on the raise)
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
Weird for them I bet.
Ionian
Member
No, it's when somebody is off and they shout at you.
Happens since childhood.
No can't be that stupid.
I'm happy you never got called it but it is normal for here.
Deal with it, not everyone lives the same place. I've lived numerous countries, always the same.
Don't agree with but it's common.
Barceolna was "Retard" and then gendered for the insult. I lived there for years.
It's just the way it works, same as Polish, Itaian or Spanish. (I lived in those for years),
chromhound
Member
well she was the one flirting with me and she asked me on a date... i was not expecting the happy ending... lol
Ionian
Member
Only with a scam, a phone at a young teenager.
I busted myself laughing.
I was like Gandalf.
Hope her grave was cheap as I buried her.
Dr.Morris79
Gold Member
Jesus man! He sounds like a right mess head
nush
Member
I had a temp job, "Sheep shearing coordinator". There was an outbreak of foot and mouth disease in the UK, so the government set up a small call center staffed with 6 temps to answer the helpline and give out forms and let the farmers know where they could move their sheep or not.
Except, the office was set up in a Milton Keynes conference center far away from any farming and just manned with temps who were mostly just students on summer break and knew nothing about sheep farming. All we did was file forms faxed to us and send out forms to these farmers. So we could not "Help" at all with any of their questions or give any actual advice. Good money, but we had to take a lot of abuse from farmers.
Except, the office was set up in a Milton Keynes conference center far away from any farming and just manned with temps who were mostly just students on summer break and knew nothing about sheep farming. All we did was file forms faxed to us and send out forms to these farmers. So we could not "Help" at all with any of their questions or give any actual advice. Good money, but we had to take a lot of abuse from farmers.
DeceptiveAlarm
Gold Member
I was changing the compressor in a reach in beer cooler. It was one of those 6 pack shops you can sit and drink in. A old lady bent down over me and stuck her tongue in my ear.
One summer I worked for a company that put on music / street festivals in Chicago and my job was to go out and buy the stuff on the different bands rider lists. It was kind of weird some of the things that would be requested and even weirder that most of the time they wouldn’t touch most of the stuff they asked for. But basically I got paid to go to stores, buy a bunch of food and liquor, and then set up shop for the bands backstage and then would just get to hang out and listen to music and there was always amazing weed and met some really cool people.
Go_Ly_Dow
Member
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
My first corporate Christmas party I had an old lady grab my butt.
My very first work email was a picture of a penis sent from a woman that I sat next to.
Kaachan
Member
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
DeceptiveAlarm
Gold Member
Was it the woman's penis?
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
It wasn’t hers. It was a picture of a penis on a platter saying that is what happens when you mess with her. She will cut off your penis.
She pulled up her skirt in front of me one time to to “show me a bruise.” She was more than 20 years older than me. I was not interested.
chromhound
Member
Happy ending
Ozzy Onya A2Z
Member
Couple here -
- Bootleg bookies cashier - as a teenager I had a mate whose dad used to run the illegal betting on big events at the local sports club and I'd cashier for him, recording the bets/slips and handling the cash/customers as well as updating the notice/odds board. What was weird about it was seeing into the adult societal pecking order to the extent of rivals, gambling addicts and drunks. Kids, families, allies and rivals on the tennis courts now sharing a bet, across various sports and events of the year too. That dad never lost shit, every single year some dads would try to group bet and hurt him big time as he was rolling way in front house wins wise. They'd had enough of the better part of a decade losing their money to him directly. Weird taking bets from 10 year olds and then their mum dressed to the social nines with the follow up dad well past tipsy with his tennis weekly buddies too.
- Any retail job ever - the weirdest people and shit happens working retail or events management. I chased drugged out thieves stealing $5K software to helping an old lady pull out $6,500 cash out back in the staff zone so she can pay for her PC e.g. cash in her top, bra, socks, stroller and everywhere else she had wads of cash hidden.
- Work experience job in a tech dept for a big university - I had to install 2 computer lab rooms of graphics hardware and run enormous tape backup rotations of mountains of daily uni data. An inexperienced 18 year old learning on the job gets full tech access across all of a major Australian university. Shit would never happen in this day and age.
- After selling, installing and supporting a 200 PC network to a client he invited me over for dinner with his family and then proceeded to offer me a tech lead job in charge of digital radio satellites for AsiaPac. I don't know anything about satellites or digital radio.
- Web development - client from a mutual client comes to me wanting to setup an entire cam girls site, before things like Chaturbate etc. Literally down to hiring models from overseas with rooms he'd pay to setup and everything. I never took another meeting or phone call from that guy ever again. Years later he started a site around car dating via bumper stickers but he seeded the community profiles with 4,000 fake ladies/photos etc. Absolutely weird as fuck dude.
Heimdall_Xtreme
Hermen Hulst Fanclub's #1 Member
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nush
Member
Most retail jobs have something wild going on with the customers. It's the regular weirdos that come in that make the job "interesting".
Ash Sparrow
Banned
Worked security at this crazy building where they were having a bachelorette party, they'd ordered 3 strippers and when I arrived with my bag and shirt hanging out my pants they thought I was the 3rd guy. I was at the desk talking to the guard I was going to replace and women came out the room, they were staring at me with lust in their eyes. Then approached saying are you the stripper. LOL Like noooooo not me.
As a Christian guy I felt weird dealing with the stripper, when he arrived and it even felt weird that the room all the stripping happened was where the guards ate lunch, chose not to eat in there that night.
I did meet a girl who I wish I had got her number, she told me almost in an apologetic way that she was only watching the stripper because it was her friends party. I know LOl. I cant really explain it, but I have never really had a conversation with one that flowed so easy and just felt that right,
That building was crazy, got shot up one night before I arrived and a trans guy in a dress busted the managers car window and ran down the street barefoot. At least that was the description I was given, I asked to be moved.
As a Christian guy I felt weird dealing with the stripper, when he arrived and it even felt weird that the room all the stripping happened was where the guards ate lunch, chose not to eat in there that night.
I did meet a girl who I wish I had got her number, she told me almost in an apologetic way that she was only watching the stripper because it was her friends party. I know LOl. I cant really explain it, but I have never really had a conversation with one that flowed so easy and just felt that right,
That building was crazy, got shot up one night before I arrived and a trans guy in a dress busted the managers car window and ran down the street barefoot. At least that was the description I was given, I asked to be moved.
I could mention that a guy I used work with got arrested because he was a flasher. I honestly thought people didn't do that in real life. (He'd go naked in the woods and expose himself to people.) But the crazy part is how his lawyer got most of the charges dropped. So the cops absolutely knew he did this because they had him on camera running around naked. However in our state that doesn't count. You can only expose yourself to another person, not a camera so the photos weren't admissible and no, I'm not making that up.(He didn't expose himself to the cops themselves and they didn't bring any of the people he did expose himself to into the court room.) That's about the craziest story I have. (Well except for the time one of my friends set me up on a blind date and it turned out the girl was a dwarf, I'm not into dwarfs.)
Ionian
Member
worked nightshift during college. some dude ran in and pulled a taxi driver hair out (emergency buttons don't work)
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
I worked overnights at a gas station during college. Weekends were always a treat. I would get phone numbers from drunk girls but never really bothered to hit them up because they would probably have forgotten even giving it to me. There were a few girls that came in regularly and would give me their number. Those ones I absolutely hooked up with. I even closed the store one time to go hook up in the back. I blame my boss as he told me stories of the guy who had the job before me and retold them and called the guy a legend when he closed the store to hook up in back.
The crazy thing was, one of those drunk girls that gave me their number ended up dating a guy I would later work for. When I worked for him, he told me that she said I gave her my number and I was a massive creep. I gave him my side and we never talked about it again. He later married and divorced this chick. I only know that part because the guy would later apply for a job that he would work for me. His life kid of imploded at some point between those events. He does work for the company I'm at but we never interact besides an occasional hello in the hallway.
That gas station job got me laid more than any other I've had.
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Winter John
Member
I worked in a Liza Minnelli themed restaurant once. That was weird. It wasn't like she owned it or even came in. It was just owned by some dope who decided the world needed a place to eat lobster and listen to her insane caterwauling.
nush
Member
Movie theater for me, at peak we had 90 staff teens/early 20's even mix of men and women high turnover. As you needed to work evenings and weekends you didn't get to go out on the pull so you had to fish in your own well stocked pond. Good times.
Once you get a career job you learn it's not worth screwing the crew. For entry level jobs, go wild.
spawn
Member
Maybe not that weird I guess. I was going to community college and I needed an art credit which had nothing to do with my major. It was stupid. I'm not a great artist, but I gave it my best. We were required to draw a picture of a nude woman. This woman comes in maybe in her 30's and she disrobes in front of everyone. We spent a few days drawing this nude woman. I felt like Leonardo Dicaprio in Titanic
Ionian
Member
Ah still drawing, I did that.
Young beautiful women, old women and and men, funnily enough no young men. Not that I cared.
Got an A in my final exam by the government.
Did shite in the history exam as I never went to those classes.
Then again for a laugh did the home economics one having never taken a class and did brilliant. Just walked in and took it.
More points towards my college place!
squirt is pee, so she did.When I went to Sicily, fingered my Sicilian girlfriend in her cousin's (kickboxer) car while he went into his house to collect something.
She was a heavy squirt-er, I'd say he thought she pissed herself. Seat was soaking. Fun times!
Lucky I didn't get killed over there.
Ionian
Member
Stick to your porn, it doesn't smell, tastes and looks a different colour.
Hope you find a squirter some day to know. They're amazing.
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Billbofet
Member
Worked at my friend's family grocery store in college. It was in a pretty rough area in Milwaukee, so there were often robberies, shoplifting, etc.
- we would bale pallets of cardboard and tie them up for pickup once a week - put them on the side of the building. Geniuses learned there was a few dollars in this if you recycled, so a dude with a Ford Escort station wagon tried to put one on his roof to steal it. It crushed his car completely
- there was no office, so when security would catch a shoplifter - which was often - they would wait in the employee breakroom with the perp until the cops came. Made for some interesting breaks/lunches
- I witnessed a lady wearing a skirt take a shit in the cereal aisle. She must not have had underwear on, she just let it drop as she walked, so there was about a ten-foot trail of turds and she kinda just shook her leg at the end for the final nugget
Funny thing is, it's the most fun I ever had working!!
- we would bale pallets of cardboard and tie them up for pickup once a week - put them on the side of the building. Geniuses learned there was a few dollars in this if you recycled, so a dude with a Ford Escort station wagon tried to put one on his roof to steal it. It crushed his car completely
- there was no office, so when security would catch a shoplifter - which was often - they would wait in the employee breakroom with the perp until the cops came. Made for some interesting breaks/lunches
- I witnessed a lady wearing a skirt take a shit in the cereal aisle. She must not have had underwear on, she just let it drop as she walked, so there was about a ten-foot trail of turds and she kinda just shook her leg at the end for the final nugget
Funny thing is, it's the most fun I ever had working!!
NeoIkaruGAF
Gold Member
There was this middle-aged lady who suffered from a bad disease and went a bit crazy due to constant pain.
She used to send me SMS from time to time, telling me how she felt, and sometimes she would drop a hint or two about having suicidal ideas.
This one time she sent me a SMS saying she had had anal bleeding. Then came two MMS with photos of her toilet full of blood.
Another time she wrote me a quite lengthy message about having some warts on her hands, and using the bottom of a moka pot hot off the stove to burn them.
She used to send me SMS from time to time, telling me how she felt, and sometimes she would drop a hint or two about having suicidal ideas.
This one time she sent me a SMS saying she had had anal bleeding. Then came two MMS with photos of her toilet full of blood.
Another time she wrote me a quite lengthy message about having some warts on her hands, and using the bottom of a moka pot hot off the stove to burn them.
WhatDidHeSay?
Member
Nope .. still not getting it. I tried!
Putonahappyface
Member
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Dr. Suchong
Member
One time at work my colleagues were respectful, helpful, and generally a pleasure to to be with 
I've fallen through a glass table and blown out the electrics at a Gamestation I worked at back in 96/97.
I'm pretty old so this is probably before health and safety went nuts, but when I was doing an NVQ at a furniture shop (I was around 16/17) I was tasked with climbing out of a window to get onto a roof to unblock a drain that was causing the store ceiling to leak. I almost waded over to the drain to unblock it.
My shoes were fucked.
Pretty mundane tbh.
I've fallen through a glass table and blown out the electrics at a Gamestation I worked at back in 96/97.
I'm pretty old so this is probably before health and safety went nuts, but when I was doing an NVQ at a furniture shop (I was around 16/17) I was tasked with climbing out of a window to get onto a roof to unblock a drain that was causing the store ceiling to leak. I almost waded over to the drain to unblock it.
My shoes were fucked.
Pretty mundane tbh.
it's ok to like pee, bro.
Tams
Member
Three questions:
1. Why didn't you call the police?
2. Why didn't you tell the school to get him kicked off the board?
3. What the fuck were you parents doing during all this?
StreetsofBeige
Gold Member
Never had crazy jobs. But one summer I worked at a wholesaler making minimum wage. One part of the job was cooking and packaging all those sketchy looking bags of nuts, trail mix and junk like that.
Almost everyone in the production room were minimum wage students. You got packagers, warehouse runners, and cookers. Only the production room manager and key shipper dudes made better money. If you were asked to be a cooker for a day, the manager would tell you to make let's say make trail mix. The recipe would be 1 part this, one part that etc.... You pour all this shit into a giant steel vat and mix it by hand and pour it into boxes for the packagers to put in plastic containers with a label, then box up on skids.
The shit was gross. Half the ingredients were stale, the steel vats were never washed (just dusted off), and any products that were cooked in the fryer used old oil a lot of the time.
Now you know why those bags of junk are dirt cheap.
Almost everyone in the production room were minimum wage students. You got packagers, warehouse runners, and cookers. Only the production room manager and key shipper dudes made better money. If you were asked to be a cooker for a day, the manager would tell you to make let's say make trail mix. The recipe would be 1 part this, one part that etc.... You pour all this shit into a giant steel vat and mix it by hand and pour it into boxes for the packagers to put in plastic containers with a label, then box up on skids.
The shit was gross. Half the ingredients were stale, the steel vats were never washed (just dusted off), and any products that were cooked in the fryer used old oil a lot of the time.
Now you know why those bags of junk are dirt cheap.
Just curious, how much did you get paid doing this? It was a per hour rate? Or a flat rate per event? The more money he profited, the more he'd give you? Were all sports equal in degenerates? Or some sports had more drunk losers than others?
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You know it's been proven that it is just piss.... so she did piss herselfWhen I went to Sicily, fingered my Sicilian girlfriend in her cousin's (kickboxer) car while he went into his house to collect something.
She was a heavy squirt-er, I'd say he thought she pissed herself. Seat was soaking. Fun times!
Lucky I didn't get killed over there.
Ozzy Onya A2Z
Member
He'd give me $200 in cash for the day (in the 90s), didn't matter when I was 12 or 15 or how well he did winnings wise. Dude was pulling in thousands if not tens of thousands after a 2-day working weekend at the club. He was really paying me to not disclose winning every single year he'd bookie'd nor any dollar amounts etc. Literally gave me clear instructions on that but he was super happy I worked hard, could do the math in my head for what was needed and kept things on the down low. Being in Melbourne Australia it was mostly horse racing and dads laying some bets while they BBQ, pretend to play tennis, sometimes check on the kids and generally sink piss for a bender of a day. Some days the betting would move onto dog races or footy instead of the horses etc.
Our club was more like a tri-club. Clubhouses for tennis, cricket and footy. Whenever birthdays or events like the Melbourne Cup or Australian Tennis Open etc were on it was a weekend at our tennis club with BBQ, licensed bar, illegal bookie and families galore. Anyone came and went from each club, kids play on each, bets extended to kids games sometimes etc. Shit you'd never see going on today. Drinking, smoking, parties, 21st, 18ths, 50ths blah blah. It was an awesome little summer style job for me, and the events were really fun, probably not as seedy as I've made them appear.
It's extremely common in Australia for kids and parents alike to make betting pools and have kids throw a dollar in or draw a number from the hat etc. In footy for example they each pick a player for first goal kicked or the winning margin etc.
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AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
This guy worked for the mob.
Ozzy Onya A2Z
Member
Lol, he was a life insurance salesmen on his own commission company. Basically the same level of skeev as a mob boss.