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[Blastoise]

It's all marketing dudes. You can sell anything with great marketing.

 

[Crud]

 

[oneils]

Lol I just saw that. It was a nice touch.

 

[gohepcat]

Think of a thing you like. Now imagine that the makers of it have lied to you about how it's made, and have charged you a premium for that. That's okay with you?

Ammm. Yea?

I would be a sucker to honestly believe the marketing hype behind a product...and I especially don't care about people who put the story of how something is made behind the actual fucking product

Like the taste of that chocolate? Do you think it's worth 10 dollars for experience that taste? Then buy the chocolate.

 

[Dennis]

Milli Vanilli extract.

 

[Dennis]

Even the beards are fake.


Their Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/_UU1n1vxn6/

How they see themselves

From a Twitter account. https://twitter.com/extramsg/status/676935067864858624?ref_src=twsrc^tfw

A pair of Biz Frat Bros realized the future, and it was beards.

omg it is Duck Dynasty all over again

 

[oneils]

omg it is Duck Dynasty all over again

We're the duck dynasty guys bros too? Didn't know that, but not surprised.

 

[Crud]

We're the duck dynasty guys bros too? Didn't know that, but not surprised.

They were a different type of bro though.

 

[oneils]

They were a different type of bro though.

Ha, yeah I figured.

 

[blame space]

finally getting into $10 chocolate bars

 

[Stinkles]

I read all of it. Including the retorts. I tried to care less. I genuinely did. But I could not.

 

[blame space]

Ican't

 

[Crud]

I read all of it. Including the retorts. I tried to care less. I genuinely did. But I could not.

This makes my head hurt.

Does your head hurt?

 

[Stinkles]

This makes my head hurt.

Does your head hurt?

Un poquito.


By the way if you have an Edwardian beard and this was not your signal to shave that ridiculous garbage then you're on your own.

 

[Dennis]

Never trust a white man with a thick beard

You leave Santa alone.

 

[way more]

Perhaps it's just important for people to hate "hipsters" in order to feel a little better about being on the internet all day.

These people adopted the "hipster" label in order to fraudulently sell their product. It's an example that bearded hipster is a brand that is desired. Grow a beard, look "local" and wow, your corn is better than that normal farm grown shit.

We have artisanal corn. And fancy "informed" food buyers with their heads perpetually up their asses will buy it.

 

[InfiniteBento]

Gimme that askinoisie chocolate. Mast isn't even that good what so ever.

These guys are nothing but well marketed bullshitters. Using Valrhona as a base and never advertising so is really fucking scummy also. I'm glad all this nonsense is finally coming into the light.

 

[Trident]

How is anyone surprised that a bushy beard in 2016 is a purely stylistic affectation? What sort of scenario is the alternative - that they time warped from the 1800s American frontier?

 

[perfectchaos007]

When it comes to natural foods, a beard ups the product's trustworthy factor by 500%. Good thing I don't care too much about whether a product was natural/fair trade/ non-processed. I wouldn't be able to afford to live the whole foods lifestyle.

 

[Crud]

These people adopted the "hipster" label in order to fraudulently sell their product. It's an example that bearded hipster is a brand that is desired. Grow a beard, look "local" and wow, your corn is better than that normal farm grown shit.

We have artisanal corn. And fancy "informed" food buyers with their heads perpetually up their asses will buy it.

There it is. Post is fucking accurate.

 

[hoola]

I've learned over time that packaging and story matter more than the product when growing a business. People buy with their eyes and the better something looks, the better it will taste.

 

[blame space]

God I Have to have artisanal corn.

 

[injurai]

Smh, my white ninjas ruining the beard before I can even grow a respectable one. Soon enough they will be shaving and subsequently ruining the clean face and I'll be stuck as the clean shaven pleb in the next hipster renaissance.

 

[JaggedSac]

Title is confusing. Thought a hipster committed fraud on the Mast brothers.

 

[Monocle]

I want to give both of their beards a hearty artisanal slap.

That's where you rub your palms in oregano, African bird pepper, and Himalayan rose salt and then run at the person with arms flailing.

Testers described the effect as "complex and bracing, with a lingering finish."

 

[Komo]

Hipster's ruin everything. what's new?

 

[stilgar]

For some reason, I have more sympathy for fake hipsters than the real ones. Go get'em guys!

 

[blame space]

what even is a real hipster

 

[Pop-O-Matic]

what even is a real hipster

Someone who spends all their time bitching about fake hipsters.

 

[stilgar]

what even is a real hipster

Nerds being cool.

These are businessmen in disguise.
Which is kind of interesting.

 

[injurai]

For some reason, I have more sympathy for fake hipsters than the real ones. Go get'em guys!

there is no real hipster, only those embracing the facade to legitimize their pursuit of an identity that exist in an aesthetic that is separate from themselves

 

[Amalthea]

Artisanal from bean to bar? I really don't want to know the process...

 

[Admiral Woofington]

Real hipsters don't grow beards anymore. They wear tight polos, play sports and are very clean. Since no one does it anymore

 

[stilgar]

there is no real hipster, only those embracing the facade to legitimize their pursuit of an identity that exist in an aesthetic that is separate from themselves

A definition that embodies everybody isn't a very effective one.

 

[Staccat0]

These people adopted the "hipster" label in order to fraudulently sell their product. It's an example that bearded hipster is a brand that is desired. Grow a beard, look "local" and wow, your corn is better than that normal farm grown shit.

We have artisanal corn. And fancy "informed" food buyers with their heads perpetually up their asses will buy it.

Yeah, sure. I guess. I don't really know who they are or care if they dress like hipsters (whatever the fuck that means in a post Mumford and Sons 2015)
I guess it's a thing to be upset about, but I just don't have the time.

 

[injurai]

A definition that embodies everybody isn't a very effective one.

The difference is what identity is valued over others during a particular era.

 

[Jill Sandwich]

I find the story of Noka chocolate more interesting, melting down another companies chocolate and marking it up 4000%

 

[zer0das]

Bean to bar is probably one of the most pretentious phrases I have ever heard in my life.

 

[Kill Your Masters]

There is a new gold winner that I found up in Seattle that I didn't buy. It was $18

http://www.internationalchocolateawards.com/2015/10/world-final-winners-2015/

Soma Chocolate (Canada) – Porcelana


Wonder why a lot of the gold winners are Criollo bean based.

Perfect desert after

 

[Greddleok]

Ammm. Yea?

I would be a sucker to honestly believe the marketing hype behind a product...and I especially don't care about people who put the story of how something is made behind the actual fucking product

Like the taste of that chocolate? Do you think it's worth 10 dollars for experience that taste? Then buy the chocolate.

It's cool that you're ok with that, but the fact that there are laws against it suggests that many people aren't cool with being duped into purchasing a product by false claims.

 

[TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared]

American chocolate is 99% terrible anyway. Paying that much for a regular sized chocolate bar is crazy.

 

[butzopower]

How many of you people even eat $10+ chocolate? How is this one of the injustices that grinds y'alls gears?

 

[Gonzalez]

Is this considered a Hipster, on Hipster crime?

 

[ajim]

Chocolate has sexy branding and packaging combined with a fanciful background story and history = sell like gangsters.

 

[aygomyownroad]

$10!!!
If that was £10 you could get 3 bars for a £1!!!

Hipsters annoy me. Fleecing customers

 

[Sheytan]

Some Hershey chocolates doesnt even have milk or cocoa butter

 

[Dynamite Shikoku]

The hipster look is so passé

 

[Revolutionary]

Never heard of them. But then again I don't shop at whole foods or any other overpriced bs stores.
But yeah.. you know what they say about fools and money.

 

[Xisiqomelir]

The DallasFood.org takedown of Noka reminds me of some of the better due dilligence I've seen on the short-selling side of fraudulent equity.

Really enjoyable read, and I'm glad to learn the names of some fine chocolate-makers. Even better that I can get their bars directly and not have to pay a chocolatier a markup for a melt and remould.

 

[Dennis]

The DallasFood.org did some excellent journalism.