Horrible Theater Experiences

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Bloodwake

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Okay, I searched for one of these threads, and didn't see one, so I figured I'd make one.

My first theatrical experience with Silent Hill was at my home theater of London, KY, at the piece of shit theater Regency Cinema 8.

I shit you not, in the middle of the film, someone starts ****ING KNOCKING on the outside exit door, and someone in the front row opens it up. Literally 10-12 people walk through the door, making a ton of ****ing noise, like the theater was their living room or something. Sadly, NO ACTION was taken by the movie's staff against these people, and other pointless and shitty disturbances nearly ruined the movie for me.

By the way, I remember one time whenever I was watching in the same theater this movie (the one with Robert De Niro and Dakota Fanning in it) where I thought the movie was shit and I started making MST3K style comments about it aloud. A member of the staff came up and almost kicked us the hell out. WHAT THE HELL? Why did we get punished whenever these mother****ers just waltz in from the outside and make all this noise?

Anyways, I now go almost exclusively to the theater ten miles away in the city of Corbin. ****, it's a lot nicer anyways. Every theater has DTS sound and some good damn projectors, as well as stadium seating and reclinable seats. **** London.

Share your shitty-ass movie experiences here.
 
One time I was visiting some friends in Kentucky and we went to see that boring DeNiro/Dakota Fanning movie. Some jerkoff in the front thought it'd be HIGHsterical to do some lame MST shit. You know what I thought was funny? When I called the manager on his ass.
 
When I went to see Backdraft in the only theater in Bloomsburg, PA the theater smelled of piss so we left.

Sea Manky, Mrs. Sea Manky, and myself went to see Godzilla (shitty American one) and the asshats behind me would not shut up. The movie was sucking. So I went out to the lobby and started bitching at the manager. They didn't seem to know how to take that. :P

I prefer DVD these days. I can't rely on you stupid monkeys to contain your enthusiasm or be respectful of your superiors. :D
 
Children yapping it up and running up and down the aisles always pisses me off. Once I elbowed a kid as he tried climbing over me WHILE I'M TRYING TO WATCH A ****ING MOVIE. Parents, either you keep the ****ers on leashes or leave 'em at home.

And to top it off I got kicked out for brushing the ****er, when neither the children nor parents got so much as a slap on the wrist. Weak!
>:/
 
xsarien said:
One time I was visiting some friends in Kentucky and we went to see that boring DeNiro/Dakota Fanning movie. Some jerkoff in the front thought it'd be HIGHsterical to do some lame MST shit. You know what I thought was funny? When I called the manager on his ass.
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I think I may have been at that showing as well. I couldn't stand him, or his stupid comments.
 
Three experiences come to mind. First one is Shrek 2 I think. There were these little bastards sitting up in front with no parents around just running around, throwing shit, yelling, etc. So I finally snapped and walked up to them, leaned over the top of their seats, and simply made the "shh" gesture with my finger over my lips. They got the idea and piped down. But later, after the movie was over, I realized their parents just dropped them off. And these were like 8 year olds or something y'know? Too young to just be dropped off. The fact that the parents left them there pissed me off more than the noisemaking.

Devils Rejects was the next one. 3 girls who must have been like 16 or 17 kept running in and out of the theater and laughing and shit. Each time they'd leave, their shoes were SO LOUD! They would make lousy ninjas. Anyway, they were laughing at shit that wasn't even funny, so I turned around and said, "Are you going to shut up back there or what?". They replied, "I don't know". Then they finally piped down. Man did they piss me off though.

Third time was just recently at "The Lake House". ****ing old couple sits there and narrates the goddamn movie. "Oh, the mailbox goes back in time." "Oh, he planted that tree and it suddenly appeared in her time!" etc. I didn't shush them because they just didn't do it enough to push me over the edge. They walked the line though. Man. ****ing rude people think its their house or something.
 
A phone or two going off is about the worst I've had to put up with.

Oh yeah there was an annoying kid sitting infront of me at Spider-man. I kicked his seat and told him the shut the **** up. He did.
 
Ahh, and the latest happened during my first time watching Superman Returns. A bunch of 13-14 year old valley girls were sitting in the row across from us, and kept screaming randomly during the talkier parts and "awwwwww"ing during the Lois/Clark parts. It was especially annoying because after making this loud disruption, they would kind of sink into their seats as if to hide the fact that they were bothering everyone and "blend in".

Good thing was, we finally got them to leave. In the middle of screaming "It's SuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnn!!!!" in the middle of the film, a buddy of mine finally snapped and whiped a soda bottle (snuck into the theater :p) at one of the girls' heads. They got up and left about two minutes later, after staring down each and everybody in attendance around them. They were only met with evil grins :D :D :D
 
One time, these bitches at the midnight showing for Revenge of the Sith, even before the movie started, started to bother me and ask me stupid questions. Even in a theater packed to capacity, I moved and sat with someone else.

This guy I ended up sitting next to happened to have ****ed over my best friend like two days ago.

In order to avoid annoyance at the movies, I would sit with the devil himself if some dumbass chicks are going to ****ing bother me.
 
I saw Superman Returns in an IMAX theatre last week, and some dipshits decided it'd be a great experience for their 2 year old. The kid was scared SHITLESS through the entire movie. I can see why - the screen's like 800 feet tall and the sound was blowing my eardrums out...sounds like a great experience for a toddler, right? Any time a scene with some action started up, the kid started crying...no, screaming at the top of his lungs..."AAAAAAHHHHHHH! I'M SCARED! I WANNA GO HOME AAAAHHHH!!!! WAAAAAAHHHH!! BLAAAAAAA!!!!!" They FINALLY took the kid out of the theatre with about 15 minutes left in the film. What kind of parent would do that? Christ, if they wanted to scare the kid, they could have chased him around with a chainsaw and hockey mask and saved the 30 bucks.

I HATE theaters. It's inevitable that someone will ruin the experience everytime I go. I can't wait to finish up my basement and purchase my bigscreen this fall.
 
xsarien said:
One time I was visiting some friends in Kentucky and we went to see that boring DeNiro/Dakota Fanning movie. Some jerkoff in the front thought it'd be HIGHsterical to do some lame MST shit. You know what I thought was funny? When I called the manager on his ass.
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Hey, the ****ing movie was shit.

And it was at a showing where we were like the only people there, smartass. Which makes it worse.
 
:lol When I went to see Xmen3 last week there were a bunch of elementary kids sitting in front of me. They were clapping and stuff and started pissing me off so I started kicking their seats and putting popcorn in their hair. I'm such an ass but they were ruining the movie....


Oh and I hate when people make out during a kid's film like Rugrats the Movie.... seriously they are clueless to which movies you pick to make-out in.
 
I think the teen girls are the worst.... because they don't actually have any respect for any horror or summer blockbuster, yet go to see each and every one. They'll laugh and giggle through the whole thing, even during the quietest, most important scenes, if you let them.

I still remember having to tell some chicks in the front to SHUT THE **** UP after about 10 minutes of talking through important scenes of Silent Hill. Obviously anyone in the theater would have backed me up, but I'm amazed that I was the only one with courage to say anything......
 
Some girl was having her birthday party with her entire freaking family/entourage and they were like having a party in the theater. And movies with subtitles can get bad if people like to read outloud.

People that read outloud and point at the words as they read them.
 
Y2Kevbug11 said:
Some girl was having her birthday party with her entire freaking family/entourage and they were like having a party in the theater. And movies with subtitles can get bad if people like to read outloud.

People that read outloud and point at the words as they read them.
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My god...
 
A bunch come to mind but here's a couple.

When i saw The Exorcist when it was re-released some dumb broad thought it would be funny to scream at the top of her lungs during a dialogue scene. Nobody laughed and then i yelled "Yeah thats really funny, you stupid bitch". That did get a laugh.

I've had to yell shut the **** up and put your cell phone away almost on a weekly basis. I don't put up with that shit at all. It drives me up the ****ing wall.

When i saw Alien Vs. Predator i expected loud idiots because, let's face it, it wasn't going to be an academy award winning film. But right off the bat, at the title screen, some guy stands up and yells "Predator's my nigga!!!!!!!!!" to which some other guy replied with "Yo, **** Predator, Alien is the ****in shit, nigga" and then they argued for a good ten minutes about who win in a fight. Clearly the audience for this film wasn't full of Harvard grads or anything.
 
MrOctober said:
A bunch come to mind but here's a couple.

When i saw The Exorcist when it was re-released some dumb broad thought it would be funny to scream at the top of her lungs during a dialogue scene. Nobody laughed and then i yelled "Yeah thats really funny, you stupid bitch". That did get a laugh.

I've had to yell shut the **** up and put your cell phone away almost on a weekly basis. I don't put up with that shit at all. It drives me up the ****ing wall.

When i saw Alien Vs. Predator i expected loud idiots because, let's face it, it wasn't going to be an academy award winning film. But right off the bat, at the title screen, some guy stands up and yells "Predator's my nigga!!!!!!!!!" to which some other guy replied with "Yo, **** Predator, Alien is the ****in shit, nigga" and then they argued for a good ten minutes about who win in a fight. Clearly the audience for this film wasn't full of Harvard grads or anything.
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On a somewhat related note, a pretty intense fight broke out at the end of Freddy vs. Jason when I saw it opening night.
 
I still prefer the theater expierence but American morals these days are horrible. When I went up to Canada and saw a few films. The expierence overall not just in the theater was insanly different.

I went to go see the crappy Final Fantasy movie some years ago. A bunch of kids were there in the back and me and my friend and that was it for the entire theater. These kids wouldnt shut up and acted like the theater was all to themselves. They also would get up and chase each other for periods of time. Maybe 30-40 minutes into the film I walked up with my large Coke still full and threw it at the the oldest looking kid of the bunch covering him in cola goodness. Looking frightened I yelled at them "Get the **** out NOW!". They did so and enjoyed the rest of my horrible movie.

Silent Hill I had gang of ghetto scum behind me reading out every word they saw, kicking my seat, and smelling like dirty vagina. We asked them to be quiet but acted like we were trying to take their 1981 Buick. Was not a good night.

During Spider-Man years ago as well the theater I no longer go to allowed their friends to come into the movies. This consisted of a gang of 14 or so people in the isles sitting down not shutting up and whenever someone next to them would say somthing they would tell them to "Shut up Fag". I was sitting far to the left not near the isle, but several verbal fights occured.
 
with kids movies like shrek 2 and cars i can forgive kids for being there and allowed to make a lil noise.

But please keep your kids away from anything pg13 and above. Also there never bring a baby into the theater.
 
Iv'e never actually had any awful expriences at the theater caused by other people. Usually those kinds of thigns have effects that overcome the annoying-ness of the cause (IE, HEY! SHUT! THE ****! UP!:lol ). There was this one time though I went to the movies with a bunch of friends and a lot of them were talking loudly. People all around us were gettign pissed. Luckily I noticed someone get up angrily and I left to "go to the bathroom" just before the manager showed up to bitch everyone else out. :lol
 
Kabuki Waq said:
with kids movies like shrek 2 and cars i can forgive kids for being there and allowed to make a lil noise.

But please keep your kids away from anything pg13 and above. Also there never bring a baby into the theater.
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A family tried to change a baby's diaper during Batman Begins, which at the time was playing in a theater the size of a closet (where movies out for more than 2 weeks go :/). Needless to say it smelled like shit and everybody else ran out and alerted the management.

I guess some people never heard of a playpen :/
 
When I went to see The Lost World, these kids up front started throwing jolly ranchers at the screen, and they would stick. By the end of the movie the screen looked like a giant light-bright.

At the first Pirates of the Caribbean, some jackass in the row behind us sticks his foot between our chairs and uses the arm rest as a foot stool. I lifted his foot up and threw it back over the seats. He was like "Oh, was that in your way?"... Who the hell has the nerve to do something like that.

For the most part I have good experiences in movie theaters. But one thing that bugs me - since it happens every single time - is people coming into the theater late. Nothing is worse than having some jackass group of 10 people come into a movie that's been playing for 5 or so minutes, trying to find 10 seats that are together in a nearly full theater. The group splits up and starts searching for seats, yelling back at each other.

People suck.

edit - Oh yeah, one more. Someone took a damn baby to Underworld: Evolution. It cried at the top of its lungs for 25 minutes before the mom finally left with it and never came back.
 
master_shake_05 said:
A family tried to change a baby's diaper during Batman Begins, which at the time was playing in a theater the size of a closet (where movies out for more than 2 weeks go :/). Needless to say it smelled like shit and everybody else ran out and alerted the management.

I guess some people never heard of a playpen :/
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"This baby smells Rachel."
 
- Someone brought their baby to an 11 PM Saturday night showing of The Matrix Reloaded. Get a ****ing babysitter. The kid is sure as hell not going to be quiet for that 2.5 hour duration.

- When I saw Sideways, this dude behind me had his phone go off 3 times. Once, okay, I'll be civil if they move quickly to turn it off. Twice, you're pushing your luck. Three times?! The dick claimed he didn't know how to turn it off. Guess what ****er, then you don't deserve to own a phone!
 
Pirates of the Carribean today... ruined by ****wad losers that won't take control of their kids.

"Whats that? Whos he? Whats that mean?"
They followed that up with some general conversation, and likely playfighting each other or some shit. Either way, I couldn't concentrate on the movie at all. I've never wanted to intervene in somebody's piss poor parenting before but my mind was screaming out:

**** OFF. SHUT THE **** UP YOU BRATTY LITTLE ****. ITS A 12A MOVIE, YOUR MOTHER IS A ****ING IDIOT; I HOPE THE KRAKEN SWALLOWS YOUR BED WHOLE TONIGHT, BREAKS YOUR RIBS AND POPS YOUR HEAD LIKE THE ****ING EMPTY WATERMELON IT SO CLEARLY IS. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!

Someone tell me what Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest is like, because I really don't know :/
 
I avoid horrible movie experiences by avoiding movie theaters where I live (the Bronx) and avoiding the popular ones that bring in all the ghetto scum (i.e. Loews/AMC, especially in Times Square). It's the stupid unwashed masses that flock to these places and ruin the experience. At the cost of giant screens and whatnot, I've gone to lesser known, smaller and independent theaters and the experience has been otherwise flawless.
 
Jado said:
I avoid horrible movie experiences by avoiding movie theaters where I live (the Bronx) and avoiding the popular ones that bring in all the ghetto scum (i.e. Loews/AMC, especially in Times Square). It's the stupid unwashed masses that flock to these places and ruin the experience. At the cost of giant screens and whatnot, I've gone to lesser known, smaller and independent theaters and the experience has been otherwise flawless.
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Yeah, nearly all city theaters are TEH GHETTO. We saw The Break Up at Union Square a few weeks back and about 15 minutes from the end, we hear people talking in their regular speaking voice in the hallway between the seats and the exit. I turn around and it's four EMPLOYEES OF THE EFFING THEATER.

New York City and Long Island bone hardcore every night and every morning Hell On Earth is born anew.
 
The Arclight in Los Angeles is awesome. They kick talkers out really fast.

Ushers introduce the movie, which I think gives people a feeling of being supervised so they talk less. The tickets are also more expensive, so people act appropriately.

I think the entire atmosphere of movie theaters needs to change for things to get better. Multiplexes are crass, noisy, ugly places full of huge ads, commercials and canned radio -- also full of ads. Make theaters nice again and people will behave better.
 
Most of my theater experiences have gone just fine. I have had a few bad ones, though. One that sticks out was The Fifth Element. The fire alarm went off FOUR TIMES during the film, all of which we had to get up and leave. The final time it went off we all got refunds and went home, missing the end of the movie. What a freaking waste of time. I've also seen my fair share of annoying kids/teens and probably been one at one point in my childhood. I hate the loud-mouthed, obnoxious people who feel like they have to make stupid jokes for everyone to hear. The problem is, people tend to laugh which only encourages them. The only time I said anything out loud to silence someone was in Tacoma, Washington. I don't remember what film it was but these two guys behind us would not shut up and I couldn't hear a damn thing. Their conversation wasn't even about the movie. Needless to say, I got a "What the **** did you say Cracker!" and that was that. I wasn't even rude about it.
 
My friend went to watch Irreversible at an arthouse theatre, and apparently after the rape scene, someone sploodged on the back of his head.
 
Flynn said:
The Arclight in Los Angeles is awesome. They kick talkers out really fast.

Ushers introduce the movie, which I think gives people a feeling of being supervised so they talk less. The tickets are also more expensive, so people act appropriately.

I think the entire atmosphere of movie theaters needs to change for things to get better. Multiplexes are crass, noisy, ugly places full of huge ads, commercials and canned radio -- also full of ads. Make theaters nice again and people will behave better.
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Totally. The Ziegfeld is always a wonderful experience. We need more Radio City, less Westbury 12.
 
dabookerman said:
My friend went to watch Irreversible at an arthouse theatre, and apparently after the rape scene, someone sploodged on the back of his head.
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Oh shit, he should have made my most embarrassing GAF thread.
 
I've only had two really poor movie experiences.

Spider-Man 2. This jackass kept translating the movie into spanish for her family. It ruined the entire film for me.

Spirited Away. This wasn't SO bad, but this bitch behind me kept explaining things to her two year old. After the movie was done, I shot her a dirty look and she said, "It's a movie made for kids." I wanted to hit her. Didnt ruin the movie completely though. I can still watch it and enjoy it.
 
AniHawk said:
I've only had two really poor movie experiences.

Spider-Man 2. This jackass kept translating the movie into spanish for her family. It ruined the entire film for me.

Spirited Away. This wasn't SO bad, but this bitch behind me kept explaining things to her two year old. After the movie was done, I shot her a dirty look and she said, "It's a movie made for kids." I wanted to hit her. Didnt ruin the movie completely though. I can still watch it and enjoy it.
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The proper thing to do there is to say "Its a slap meant for hoes." and then you let her feel the warm backside of your hand.
 
dabookerman said:
My friend went to watch Irreversible at an arthouse theatre, and apparently after the rape scene, someone sploodged on the back of his head.
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Eewww...are you serious?!?
 
My movie attendance has drastically nosedived since all the theaters starting going with the stadium seating. Sure, I like being able to see above the people in front of me, but the back of the seats are at feet level. It seems like I'm always sitting in front of some jackass that keeps kicking the back of my seat. I understand if its an accident and it happens once, but most of the time people are completely oblivious to what they are doing. I'm not very confrontational, so I would rather just not go than get all pissed off at someone.
 
You know what I hate about theaters?

I'll be going to a movie that's relatively empty, and then some jackass decides to sit right in front of me when the rest of the theater is open. **** you budy. **** you in the ass.
 
Went to see The Polar Express and this 90year old lady starts dementing and begins shouting at the screen "BELIEVE!" and singing the Christmas Carols in the movie aloud.
 
When I saw The Ring 2 in a theater which will remain anonymus, i heard a bottle of beer going all the way down the stairs to the giant screen. Before you ask why I know it was a bottle of beer : i've been told teens usually go to that place to drink, even if it's a damn theater. That almost ruined the (already shitty) movie experience for me, as the bottle was just one of many unpleasant sounds (laughs, talking, etc.). I went again to this theater, and they seem to have fixed this issue.
 
AniHawk said:
I've only had two really poor movie experiences.

Spider-Man 2. This jackass kept translating the movie into spanish for her family. It ruined the entire film for me.
Click to expand...


:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

someone threw up when i went to see Me, Myself & Irene, like what, 6 years ago? **** that smelled so bad.
 
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