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[DeafTourette]

This thread is for us all because we can't act like tough guys or like we have no emotions or nothing bothers us. We have to listen to our bodies, too. What's going on with our faiths? What's going on with our hearts or testes or liver? We have to be there for each other because so many of us are dying younger and younger.

I'll go first:

I have anxiety. Kinda really bad on top of everything else. I have Tourette Syndrome and anxiety or stress can make it MUCH worse. I don't tic all the time like that TikTok girl, Baylen, but tic more than a few times a day. In my job, I have to suppress my tics so that clients don't see as I'm around them all the time and, before any of them came in yesterday, I had a Tourette episode and they called an ambulance for me after I couldn't stop and I was hitting my head on (and punching) the concrete floor ... They're called self-injurious tics where you try to hurt yourself. I had a big knot on my forehead and I'm still pretty sore on my hip.

I may come to find out tomorrow that I no longer have a job. With the tic suppression (not easy) and the constant anxiety I had to continually step it up in job performance (which is totally outside my comfort zone and wheelhouse), I couldn't relax at all. It finally caught up with me.

My boss and co-workers are awesome and I just want their respect. I want the clients respect. I've pushed myself to this point despite my issues and I don't think I can continue. And that has me ... Sad.

 

[jshackles]

Sorry to hear that man, sounds rough. Sending good thoughts your way.

 

[AlphaDump]

Im sorry man, and i sincerely hope you are able to rebound.

It's not the end of the world, just learn from this and understand your environmental needs that can help reduce that anxiety. Client facing anything can be nerve rattling for anyone.

I always have appreciated you and your posts. Stay strong bud.

 

[Miyazaki’s Slave]

First off, you didn't do anything wrong at your job, you had an episode for a pre-existing condition, I can imagine it is hard to hear this right now, but don't focus on the event, focus on your recovery.
You sound like a committed employee and I am guessing your employer sees your hard work and effort (to be frank with you...if they were concerned about your condition they would have worked you out of the system far earlier than tomorrow).

Your job is going to be fine and you will pull through this!

I'm patting you on the back bud, but you don't need it. You are aware of your condition but you are not using it as a crutch...you are doing the best you can to contribute to the overall well being of the team and that's more than anyone can ask for.

 

[IFireflyl]

Anxiety is no fun. I have had multiple points in my life where I had to hurdle that particular obstacle, and it can be tough (depending on the severity). As Miyazaki’s Slave said, you shouldn't stress about the job. Terminating you due to a medical condition is illegal assuming you're not in some backwater country. Praying for you to pull through this rough patch, man.

 

[DeafTourette]

Thanks y'all. This thread is for us all.

Vent, talk about your fears, etc. Leave out details if you don't want ppl all in your business. We gotta be there for each other.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

I have severe anxiety and it causes me facial tics among other things. I feel for you man.

 

[Dirk Benedict]

I had VERY BAD anxiety, before I got my retail job. I don't really know how I overcame it, it took years, deep self introspection and a strong desire to move away from it.

 

[DKehoe]

Sorry to hear you had such a rough day. Hopefully today is a better one.

I can't imagine you would lose your job over that. I'm guessing you have maybe already talked to your manager about it but it could be worth having a discussion with them about ways they can support you and minimise the factors that are making the job more stressful for you. You talk about feeling like you need to step up your performance as a result of suppressing the tics and your anxiety but putting that kind of pressure on yourself is going to lead you to burn out. I'm sure that's not what your manager wants so talk with them about what's going on so they're aware of that.

That's good to hear that your boss and co-workers are awesome. You're a good guy so I'm sure you have their respect and the respect of your clients.

 

[GeekyDad]

This thread is for us all because we can't act like tough guys or like we have no emotions or nothing bothers us. We have to listen to our bodies, too. What's going on with our faiths? What's going on with our hearts or testes or liver? We have to be there for each other because so many of us are dying younger and younger.

I'll go first:

I have anxiety. Kinda really bad on top of everything else. I have Tourette Syndrome and anxiety or stress can make it MUCH worse. I don't tic all the time like that TikTok girl, Baylen, but tic more than a few times a day. In my job, I have to suppress my tics so that clients don't see as I'm around them all the time and, before any of them came in yesterday, I had a Tourette episode and they called an ambulance for me after I couldn't stop and I was hitting my head on (and punching) the concrete floor ... They're called self-injurious tics where you try to hurt yourself. I had a big knot on my forehead and I'm still pretty sore on my hip.

I may come to find out tomorrow that I no longer have a job. With the tic suppression (not easy) and the constant anxiety I had to continually step it up in job performance (which is totally outside my comfort zone and wheelhouse), I couldn't relax at all. It finally caught up with me.

My boss and co-workers are awesome and I just want their respect. I want the clients respect. I've pushed myself to this point despite my issues and I don't think I can continue. And that has me ... Sad.

That definitely sounds like a serious situation. Perhaps, if you get to go back, your employers can help accommodate you in ways that will makes things more doable for you, them and the clients.

If I may, and I am in no way trying to make light of your condition, have you researched it (I'm sure you have) what changes to the brain cause Tourette's syndrome? And what types of medicines do you take? Is it a condition that will continue to further impair you as you grow older?

 

[Kenneth Haight]

You’re seen and heard DeafTourette and we’re here for you. No one is immune from the stresses of daily life and I hope things can get easier for you as 2025 progresses.

I can only imagine how difficult Tourette’s is to deal with.

 

[Zathalus]

I’m alright. Getting old and stuff doesn’t work as well as it used to, but hey, that’s life.

 

[Power Pro]

That really sounds rough DeafTourette . I can't imagine what have uncontrollable tics like that would do to someone. I don't know what nation you live in, but if you were in the US, do you qualify for disability? I think it's great that you still work, but at least if anything happened where you lost your job, it'd be good to have the cushion any job loss. I sometimes wish I could do that, but being autistic is very tricky to get disability. Not cuz I don't want to work at all, but it just feels like working full time is not enough to pay for rent on my own. It's just not possible, so I still live with my mom.

I was living with my mom and dad...but the past couple years have been rough. It started when my dad was officially diagnosed with vascular dementia. We knew his memory and brain function were bad, but we didn't know how bad until the neurologist told us. He started getting to the point where his brain would just stop telling his legs and feet to move properly and would constantly fall over. He fell down the stairs numerous times, which we think were caused by mini strokes. For the first year or so, my mom and I worked together being a caregiver for him. It got to the point though where we couldn't do it anymore, because we both still have to work. He was getting out of bed in the middle of the night, and just falling over screaming for help. Never listened to us to not get up without help. We weren't able to sleep, and we had to get him admitted someplace where he could be taken care of.

Even when we did that, it took many different facilities until we found the one that was right for him. That was months of arguing with and discussing with people if he should stay at this place, or that place. He's finally in a memory care place, but even without having to take care of him day to day, it's just been very miserable for us. His condition gets worse every time we see him, and don't know if he'll make it through 2025. There have been so many bumpy roads, and so many scares about whether or not he was going to last the week after an episode. Even though he's made it through, he's just so...out of it. When my mother and I visited him this week, and he barely spoke, and looked at us confused, we both broke down in tears.

That's only just been on top of my own personal problems. At 41 years old, I'm getting more pessimistic about life and my future. I have no friends, and have never had a steady girlfriend, and feel like it's never going to happen at this point. I feel like an outsider in so many conversations I have. Like everything I say is wrong, and my worldview is so alien to everyone I ever meet. I have tried not to open up too much on this forum, because I didn't want to show this side of me, but when I saw this thread, it just felt like I needed to get things off my chest. I work alone, and it's third shift, so opportunities to meet people are few and far between. That said, even if I had opportunities, I don't know if it would help. My autism. and social anxiety have only gotten worse in some ways as I've gotten older.

It's funny though, because I have so many fears, yet I have done things like traveled to other cities, and countries on my own. That's something I'm always told is "too scary" for others to do. My mother has encouraged me to take another trip to Japan this year. Even if money is tight, she thinks it's something I need to do, because I am under so much stress. I always talk about Japan with such enthusiasm, and I loved it there during my last visit. It felt more home to me than home. After 8 years, I would like to go there again.

I just wish I could see some light in my life. There has been so much darkness for so long.. Even if I did go to Japan, it feels like a bandage for a gushing wound. I see so much negativity in the world, that it makes me want to break. I wish I could fall in love, or I wish I could share my passions with people in real life, and not just on forums. I don't think I ever will because I am losing my faith in people. There are good people on this forum, which is I feel a little comfortable posting this, but I also am afraid of the potential mockery. People can be so harsh to others, and not enough compassion and empathy in the world. 2025 started off rough, getting covid sucked so much, but it'd be nice if it gets better. I don't know how it can, especially if I lose my dad for good. I wish I had appreciated him more when he was healthy.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

The past year for me has been one of the worst I’ve experienced in a long while. I’ve dealt with a lot of loss, stress, and anxiety. But I’ve found solace in a few things to keep my spirits up. Going to counseling for the first time has been a great boon. I’ve found 6 things that I can target to help keep my mental health up (being in nature, exercising, meditating, etc.). I try to a minimum of 3 each day.

I still have some difficult days but having people that care about me that I can share my struggles and be there for theirs is one of the greatest assets.

 

[V1LÆM]

actually not bad except physically. mentally my medication is working so don't feel as anxious anymore and feel more calm/confident.

physically i'm all over the shop. about a year ago i had a lot of problems with my energy/muscles but i've got that under control with medication.

but the last few months i've been having another issue where my hip/legs get really sore and weak. i'm fine when I get up in the morning. i can bounce right outta bed and even cycle to/from work most days but gradually the pain returns as the day goes on and i struggle to walk. the last few days i've been going to my bed a lot earlier because my body is totally fucked. even when in bed i was struggling to move even just to change the position i'm in.

so far i'm not too bad today. a bit of pain in my hip but nothing major. it'll probably get worse in the next few hours.

 

[Tajaz2426]

We all have demons and we are all different. Some of us carry the weight of every decision we make, longer and heavier than what Jacob Marley had to struggle with.

You can only be you, you can never control the bitter hearts.

As others have said, we are here for you, brother.

 

[No BBC=Anger]

Sorry to hear this. I'm not sure about Tourette Syndrome, it's in the same ballpark as well I think but along with TS, Aspergers Syndrome/Autism and with other neurological issues, society and employers need to stop the happy clappy, rainbows, song and dance but 'fuck you no accommodation' clown show. And they wonder why so many are unemployed.

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

Great topic DeafTourette

I normally keep "the best" to myself because I don't want to A: regurgitate all my shit and B: I don't think people want to hear period.


NGL I need a keyboard to talk about all the stuff I've been through and are going through.

I'll subscribe and read.

 

[Hookshot]

Completely fine, I shifted a slight illness and can breath properly again. Slightly annoyed I have to go into work tomorrow morning but that's nothing compared to the shit others deal with.

 

[Hookshot]

I had VERY BAD anxiety, before I got my retail job. I don't really know how I overcame it, it took years, deep self introspection and a strong desire to move away from it.

I think working retail would clear any anxiety once you realize the general public are fucking nuts and way weirder than you are lol.

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

Sorry to hear this. I'm not sure about Tourette Syndrome, it's in the same ballpark as well I think but along with TS, Aspergers Syndrome/Autism and with other neurological issues, society and employers need to stop the happy clappy, rainbows, song and dance but 'fuck you no accommodation' clown show. And they wonder why so many are unemployed.

Care to explain which order "issues" you've been giving and or having fo deal with? No is fine.

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

Don't ya'll feel that mentioning "x" gives you a stigma, not only in general but on here as well.

 

[Northeastmonk]

Physically and mentally I’ve been exhausted. I spent the last two weeks sleeping at a Children’s hospital while my son was on a ketamine IV in the ICU. This was all due to an adverse effect of one of his medications. He’s back home but it’s been one hell of a month. I’m on anxiety medication, which does work, but medication can’t fix high stressful situations as a parent.

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

Physically and mentally I’ve been exhausted. I spent the last two weeks sleeping at a Children’s hospital while my son was on a ketamine IV in the ICU. This was all due to an adverse effect of one of his medications. He’s back home but it’s been one hell of a month. I’m on anxiety medication, which does work, but medication can’t fix high stressful situations as a parent.

Sorry to hear my man. Likely you're meds aren't strong enough. Because reasons. Stay strong!

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

For those who've had neuro divergentie since birth (only one perhaps) do you ever look back at your (pre) teen early 20's and be like ahhhhhh; that explains a lot?

 

[No BBC=Anger]

Care to explain which order "issues" you've been giving and or having fo deal with? No is fine.

I was reading up on this stuff awhile back and was speaking in a general sort of way there. I don't have Tourette Syndrome, Autism, neurological issues. It's just style over substance when it comes to dealing with these things.

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

Like seems like I have sort of thing?

 

[Kenneth Haight]

B: I don't think people want to hear period.

This is not true. Being seen and heard even if it doesn’t do anything actively is important to the person to sometimes dump it out.

I 100% get you though, sometimes you would rather not overburden people especially those that are closest to us with these things. We don’t want to make their lives more difficult? How selfish are we?

Everyone’s stories and life experiences are important to them and have shaped them in a good or bad way.

GAF is full of some good people. Your Friday Night thread I think helps people just get by more than you think

 

[DeafTourette]

For those who've had neuro divergentie since birth (only one perhaps) do you ever look back at your (pre) teen early 20's and be like ahhhhhh; that explains a lot?

Sometimes. And sometimes what I remember is me being completely different than I am now or when I became a full adult (like 21 or so). As a small child, being me was more acceptable because I was just a kid .. nowadays, I'm just different

 

[RagnarokIV]

Recovering from severe tendinitis (too much GAF, perhaps).

Only now starting to be able to sleep without my hands going numb or crazy shooting pains. Slowly getting back to shredding on guitar.

I won't ever take my hands for granted again.

 

[DKehoe]

This is not true. Being seen and heard even if it doesn’t do anything actively is important to the person to sometimes dump it out.

I 100% get you though, sometimes you would rather not overburden people especially those that are closest to us with these things. We don’t want to make their lives more difficult? How selfish are we?

Everyone’s stories and life experiences are important to them and have shaped them in a good or bad way.

GAF is full of some good people. Your Friday Night thread I think helps people just get by more than you think

Agreed. It might be not that we have the magic bullet that solves whatever the issue is, but people can share their experiences and things that worked for them in similar situations. Sometimes just talking about what you're going through can be a big help. It can help you get a handle on it. If you keep it pent up then the problem can seem like this insurmountable thing but just the act of talking about it can make it seem more managable.

 

[drganon]

More or less okay. Wish I had more time off. I'm currently working 6 days a week.

 

[ForAcademicPurposes]

SNAFU

 

[Rockondevil]

Physically probably 9/10 as I’ve dropped off a bit over the last few months, need to get working out properly again.
But I’ve never had a long lasting injury, cramps or anything of the sort.
Get sick maybe once every couple of years but it’s only a runny nose for 24-48 hours.

Everything else I personally don’t have stock in. It’s all mumbo jumbo to me as I’ve never had a problem with any of it.
I’ve had plenty of jobs my peers seem to struggle with or stress over but I just see it as what has to be done and it’s fine.

My recommendation to people that works for me is exercise, eat relatively healthy meals (I eat plenty of sugar still) and get sun and heat (you cold places are stuffed).

 

[Pimpollo818]

FAT

 

[NahaNago]

That really sounds rough DeafTourette . I can't imagine what have uncontrollable tics like that would do to someone. I don't know what nation you live in, but if you were in the US, do you qualify for disability? I think it's great that you still work, but at least if anything happened where you lost your job, it'd be good to have the cushion any job loss. I sometimes wish I could do that, but being autistic is very tricky to get disability. Not cuz I don't want to work at all, but it just feels like working full time is not enough to pay for rent on my own. It's just not possible, so I still live with my mom.

I was living with my mom and dad...but the past couple years have been rough. It started when my dad was officially diagnosed with vascular dementia. We knew his memory and brain function were bad, but we didn't know how bad until the neurologist told us. He started getting to the point where his brain would just stop telling his legs and feet to move properly and would constantly fall over. He fell down the stairs numerous times, which we think were caused by mini strokes. For the first year or so, my mom and I worked together being a caregiver for him. It got to the point though where we couldn't do it anymore, because we both still have to work. He was getting out of bed in the middle of the night, and just falling over screaming for help. Never listened to us to not get up without help. We weren't able to sleep, and we had to get him admitted someplace where he could be taken care of.

Even when we did that, it took many different facilities until we found the one that was right for him. That was months of arguing with and discussing with people if he should stay at this place, or that place. He's finally in a memory care place, but even without having to take care of him day to day, it's just been very miserable for us. His condition gets worse every time we see him, and don't know if he'll make it through 2025. There have been so many bumpy roads, and so many scares about whether or not he was going to last the week after an episode. Even though he's made it through, he's just so...out of it. When my mother and I visited him this week, and he barely spoke, and looked at us confused, we both broke down in tears.

That's only just been on top of my own personal problems. At 41 years old, I'm getting more pessimistic about life and my future. I have no friends, and have never had a steady girlfriend, and feel like it's never going to happen at this point. I feel like an outsider in so many conversations I have. Like everything I say is wrong, and my worldview is so alien to everyone I ever meet. I have tried not to open up too much on this forum, because I didn't want to show this side of me, but when I saw this thread, it just felt like I needed to get things off my chest. I work alone, and it's third shift, so opportunities to meet people are few and far between. That said, even if I had opportunities, I don't know if it would help. My autism. and social anxiety have only gotten worse in some ways as I've gotten older.

It's funny though, because I have so many fears, yet I have done things like traveled to other cities, and countries on my own. That's something I'm always told is "too scary" for others to do. My mother has encouraged me to take another trip to Japan this year. Even if money is tight, she thinks it's something I need to do, because I am under so much stress. I always talk about Japan with such enthusiasm, and I loved it there during my last visit. It felt more home to me than home. After 8 years, I would like to go there again.

I just wish I could see some light in my life. There has been so much darkness for so long.. Even if I did go to Japan, it feels like a bandage for a gushing wound. I see so much negativity in the world, that it makes me want to break. I wish I could fall in love, or I wish I could share my passions with people in real life, and not just on forums. I don't think I ever will because I am losing my faith in people. There are good people on this forum, which is I feel a little comfortable posting this, but I also am afraid of the potential mockery. People can be so harsh to others, and not enough compassion and empathy in the world. 2025 started off rough, getting covid sucked so much, but it'd be nice if it gets better. I don't know how it can, especially if I lose my dad for good. I wish I had appreciated him more when he was healthy.

I've been wanting to go to Japan a lot and talking to my coworkers about it all the time but like spending the money to go there and it being for just a week or 2 just seems pointless to me right now. I tested myself last week and I don't have covid, but I've been sick for nearly 2 weeks. You are older than me by one year and the only reason I see light in my life is the aim to save money so I can travel/live in Asia for awhile and maybe try be a digital nomad. First, I'm going to overcome this Japanese language learning that has become my obsession and barrier for so long!

Oh yeah, physically I'm a tad bit overweight, currently sick but overall good. Mentally I'm good. Emotionally I'm empty since I only use my emotions when watching tv shows/ movies, and anime (kinda feel dead inside sometimes) and spiritually I'm also empty since I haven't really been pursuing that side in a long long time. So overall I'd say I feel pretty empty/ drained and a bit lost, but I'm okay.

 

[EerieArcade]

Physically I'm absolutely done for. Mentally? Weirdly, I've never been happier.

 

[Trunx81]

I’m fine. Really. I’m fine.

Spoiler

 

[DeVeAn]

Anxiety is something else. Never had it until I got divorced. Didn't even realize what it was at first. Now, every so often it will come back. They say is all in your head or at least I've been told.

Psychiatrist looked at me and said yeah you are depressed here's all these meds. I questioned him, How can you tell in 30 seconds... Didn't like that. He replied I done this for 20 years its my job.

Got to the pharmacy and it hit me. I don't need this junk. I don't need to feel this. Decided I wasn't gonna let anxiety be at the forefront and time was a healer.

All this not to say there is an easy fix. Just my personal journey. Hope things get better for you OP. I believe it will.

 

[El Muerto]

Physically? Just tired as i have to go back to work and have a newborn.
Mentally? Stressing about jobs. Might get fired from my wfh job. Calls are being graded by an Ai, and while i do everything right my calls and other dudes i work with are getting graded below passing. Mainly because we sound very monotone and not giddy enough. Deciding what my next career will be. So sick of working in a call center, worrying about metrics that people cheat at, and doing tech support. Leaning towards learning a trade but i'm closer to 40 now than 30 so I might be too old.

 

[Represent.]

Today's my birthday, turned 35. Could be better, could be worse. All in all, balls in my court, wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[Pimpollo818]

Today's my birthday, turned 35. Could be better, could be worse. All in all, balls in my court, wouldn't have it any other way.

married?

 

[MastAndo]

In a rut and feeling worn down. I think I'm just meant to be single.

Work is going pretty well though - there's a lot on my plate and I'm spread thin, but there are some promising things happening on that front.

 

[Represent.]

married?

nope

 

[Robot Carnival]

late 40s, single, somewhat out of shape but mostly healthy. accepted the fact that the world is getting shittier everyday and just living my life as best I can.

 

[badblue]

I'm struggling to keep it together right now.

 

[ReBurn]

Emotionally I'm ok, but rheumatoid arthritis keeps me tired and hurting all the time. There are mornings where it's agony to get up and going, but I do so it doesn't get worse.

 

[DeafTourette]

Today's my birthday, turned 35. Could be better, could be worse. All in all, balls in my court, wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy birthday, represent!

 

[DeafTourette]

Physically? Just tired as i have to go back to work and have a newborn.
Mentally? Stressing about jobs. Might get fired from my wfh job. Calls are being graded by an Ai, and while i do everything right my calls and other dudes i work with are getting graded below passing. Mainly because we sound very monotone and not giddy enough. Deciding what my next career will be. So sick of working in a call center, worrying about metrics that people cheat at, and doing tech support. Leaning towards learning a trade but i'm closer to 40 now than 30 so I might be too old.

You're never too old!

 

[Sgt.Asher]

I was not accepted into grad school. Shit sucks as there is little forward movement with a science bachelor's anymore and it's not like I would have taken a big paycut with a research stipend. Plus, I would like to do more than just confirm how much caffeine a product has.

I will just try more schools and different jobs in the meantime.