How did you get better at handling conflict?

Sadly, practice.

It's the same as everything else. You need to be exposed to it, deal with in the moment, reflect on the outcome, try to unpack WHY things went the way they did, and do it again.

There are things you can do to prepare, read some books, watch conflict analysis videos and so on, but nothing beats experience (and failure).
 
Meditation. Learn how to sit in complete stillness for long periods of time. It isn't easy, nothing of value truly is. I went with the Gateway Pricess. It has worked wonders with me, if people want to tell you it's spiritual, back away- they are full of shit. It's more of a martial art in my opinion, it's just people will describe it as spiritual, which I find chafes me a bit. I think it's that people use that description because of limited vocabulary.
 
Knowing that im right, comfortable in what i beleive, and am usually the superior humanbeing, helps to maintain the calm.

Seriously, sounds tounge and cheek but its true. Have confidence in what you believe to be right / true, and you beleive what you do, because you understand the oposing perspecrive better than your counterpart.

Ive found that bringing yourself to an honest state of greatfullness and contentment develops a sincere state of humility and curiosity which justifies the later confidence. Objectivity lies at the intersection of humility and curiosity.
 
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Practice forgiveness.

When you feel anger arise, stop for a moment and forgive the other person and yourself.

You'll be shocked how quickly your life changes for the better once you practice this on a regular basis.
 
Getting a senior function and having to manage and deal with 15+ people's bullshit every day taught me a great deal on conflict resolution and interacting with people in general.

Not the most fun years but learnt a lot of valuable lessons. Having a good mentor is key.
 
Autosuggestion

Have consistency and patience with it as it takes a long time.
It usually takes so long that you don't even notice the change. Meaning, you don't wake up one day and suddenly are better with this but one day wake up and be like... Damn, I used to be much worse with this.
 
You say "you wanna take this outside?" any time there's any kind of conflict.

The vast majority of the time they won't and so therefore you win. For the few that do, you are going to need to beat the shit out of them. So hopefully you're good at that.
 
You determine how you will handle the problem before you enter. You choose not to raise your voice, you choose to control your anger. It is all about what you choose to do with your emotions.

Don't let the emotion control you. It is about maintaining self control.
 
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DKehoe said:
You say "you wanna take this outside?" any time there's any kind of conflict.

The vast majority of the time they won't and so therefore you win. For the few that do, you are going to need to beat the shit out of them. So hopefully you're good at that.
Click to expand...

breaking news GIF


Today on our top story, a significant amount of people today were swiftly arrested all over the world as a random outbreak of intense violence committed by adults towards children and teenagers swept the planet in the past 24 hours. Panic began to sweep many nations as theories ranged from a mental-affecting virus to an unexplainable sweep of violent mass hysteria. Law enforcement in many countries struggled to keep up with the amount of reports coming in of violence committed against minors.

However, experts were able to quickly pinpoint the source of the outbreak of violence, when they saw footage of one man being shoved into a police car who cried out, "this is bullshit! DKehoe on Neogaf said the best way to solve ANY kind of conflict is to make a threatening challenge, and if they accept that challenge, to then beat the shit out of them! I was just following his advice; he sounded so confident about it!"

As always here at Captain Obvious News, we would like to remind our viewers that A) sometimes advice from online strangers isn't always completely reliable, and B) sometimes if it is reliable and you do take said advice, don't take it literally and learn to pick up on obvious details and exceptions that shouldn't have to be spelled out by the advice giver. This is Josh Rogers, now on to sports. Mike?
 
Doom85 said:
breaking news GIF


Today on our top story, a significant amount of people today were swiftly arrested all over the world as a random outbreak of intense violence committed by adults towards children and teenagers swept the planet in the past 24 hours. Panic began to sweep many nations as theories ranged from a mental-affecting virus to an unexplainable sweep of violent mass hysteria. Law enforcement in many countries struggled to keep up with the amount of reports coming in of violence committed against minors.

However, experts were able to quickly pinpoint the source of the outbreak of violence, when they saw footage of one man being shoved into a police car who cried out, "this is bullshit! DKehoe on Neogaf said the best way to solve ANY kind of conflict is to make a threatening challenge, and if they accept that challenge, to then beat the shit out of them! I was just following his advice; he sounded so confident about it!"

As always here at Captain Obvious News, we would like to remind our viewers that A) sometimes advice from online strangers isn't always completely reliable, and B) sometimes if it is reliable and you do take said advice, don't take it literally and learn to pick up on obvious details and exceptions that shouldn't have to be spelled out by the advice giver. This is Josh Rogers, now on to sports. Mike?
Click to expand...
If anyone has a problem with this we can take it outside.
 
Firstly focus on a desired common outcome rather than initially attacking a different perspective.
 
What kind of conflict?
In general it's best to explore why things got to that point and even vocalise it, then de-escalate from there
 
Depends on with whom?

I find the best way with my wife is to reminder her that she is over reacting and that she should calm down and shut her mouth.

It's never gone wrong before and I urge you to try it. To make it extra special, you should record it and post it to gaf for educational purposes.
 
Conflict with everyone: Just agree to disagree and both parties move on.
Conflict with wife: Just agree to disagree and watch as all hell breaks loose and I eventually realize i have made zero progress handling conflict with terrorists.
 
I realized early on in life that the world we live in is gigantic enough to not let the person next to me truly get under my skin (which makes it easy to not care), but also realize that we're such ants on a planet, in a galaxy, that 99.9999% of our interactions will not really impact anything at a larger level.

tl;dr it helps to zoom out, realize the insignificance, and let go.
 
Sounds really basic, but take a deep breath and count to 10. It actually works...for me at least. Also, just walk away from shit. I rarely engage in any drama.
 
Depends how serious it is, but what usually works for me is attacking the problem from their perspective. They're usually forced to reset and engage slower
 
In my case I used to avoid conflict like the plague so I would just let things slide to avoid it but it got me into real bad situation. Where my life was almost ruined. You have to have firm boundaries and speak up when you don't like something.
 
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I was never a shaky mess that had to seek out counseling or any form of mental health treatment, but:

1. The maturity and wisdom that comes with age
2. Try to remain calm, as calm as a situation allows
3. Learn to let go of resentments, and not to form resentments in the first place
4. Jork it a little
 
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March Climber said:
I realized early on in life that the world we live in is gigantic enough to not let the person next to me truly get under my skin (which makes it easy to not care), but also realize that we're such ants on a planet, in a galaxy, that 99.9999% of our interactions will not really impact anything at a larger level.

tl;dr it helps to zoom out, realize the insignificance, and let go.
Click to expand...
If I randomly smack you in the face, I feel like you'd care
 
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