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[fran.fernandez]

That’s it. When times come , how long it takes for you to do N2 , clean and leave the toilet?

At home! Not at work.

I’m super fast, 1-2 minutes and over . I can’t finish a clash Royale game.

 

[V1LÆM]

 

[TransTrender]

The actual pooping and cleanup?
Like one minute.
However, the entire process takes much more time than that.

 

[Dutchy]

Shaving my asshole and using wet wipes has been a game changer for me.

1 - 2 minutes tops and it's clean enough to eat off or out of

 

[LiquidMetal14]

I'd say 5-10. I'm in no rush and often times push 10+ just due to waiting on wife or giving kids a bath. With my phone and Neilgaf Gold I'm quite entertained.

 

[badblue]

 

[Alex Anderson]

I had a 52 minute battle with constipation a few days ago. Wave after wave of shit. For some reason about halfway through my mouth will start filling with saliva and I start dry heaving. Good times

 

[Dirk Benedict]

20 days, then I shit for 10 mins straight, and the cycle repeats. Repeated flushes, trowel in hand for the assist.

 

[Pejo]

get in, get out. Unless as you mentioned you're at work, in which case you take your damn time.

 

[isual]

under 5 minutes. no flush son; always gotta leave something for the next person to do.

 

[Tieno]

under 5 minutes. no flush son; always gotta leave something for the next person to do.

pay it forward.

 

[ChorizoPicozo]

Since eating more vegetables, my poop time has reduced dramatically. I basically sit down and boom a massive, uninterrupted turd comes out. No farting, no splashing

 

[The Cockatrice]

Gonna go with 10. I dont believe anyone who says or voted less than 5 minutes. They're, heh, full of shit.

 

[Mobilemofo]

Who the fuck shits in 30 seconds ? Fuckin liars. Around 10 - 15 minutes is right. Why rush? Bit of a browse, maybe some insta.

 

[Sub_Level]

5 minutes. Goes much faster ever since I have a bidet. The bidet also cleans the area much better than just using toilet paper alone.

 

[Kacho]

About 5-10 minutes. I take my sweet time and browse my phone.

 

[IDKFA]

Popping and clean up? At least five mins.

I'm not a hairy guy, but I have an unbelievable hairy ass hole. Getting it out is easy. Less than a few seconds. It's the clean up operation that takes a long time.

I use at least 10 sheets of paper just to asses the damage. Most of the time I use half a roll of paper to fully wipe my ass clean and have to flush four times to get it all down the toilet without blocking it. If I'm at home, I also jump in the shower afterwards to give my ass hole a proper clean.

Rarely, I'll take a dump that so big that I have to use a stick in the garden to break it up so it flushes, so add an additional five minutes onto that as well.

Five mins on average. 10 if it's a goliath dump.

 

[Deleted member 1159]

If it’s taking more than a couple minutes then that’s a fail. Drink some water, don’t push, treat your asshole right.

 

[Insane Metal]

15+- for the entire process.

 

[AlteredForms]

I've always been confused by people who break out a newspaper on the shitter. You're supposed to be handling bodily business and then getting out of there before the nuclear fallout. Browsing NeoGAF or the sports scores should be the least of your worries.

 

[GymWolf]

Depends if i bring a magazine with me or not and if i have a sponge with soap available.

 

[GymWolf]

15+- for the entire process.

Seconds? What kinda of 20 years abused anus do you possess to have such a fast shitting progress?? Do you even have any friction left?

 

[Lunarorbit]

20 days, then I shit for 10 mins straight, and the cycle repeats. Repeated flushes, trowel in hand for the assist.

You don't have a poop knife?

The number of people who claim to have a poop knife on the internet is way too high for my liking

 

[Putonahappyface]

Two to five minutes.

 

[haxan7]

A minute or so to shit, 10+ minutes to wipe.

 

[Days like these...]

I know this might be too tangential but using your phone while shitting is disgusting.

 

[Catphish]

depends on how much coffee I've had. A couple of cups and I'm pressurized, baby.

 

[Dutchy]

I know this might be too tangential but using your phone while shitting is disgusting.

Most people's phones in general are already hella nasty. I refuse to use anyone else's phone for this reason. No way im wiping my finger across that greasy ass screen

 

[chromhound]

I can take a shit in 10 second. The whipping is the longer process. Shitting at work is another story

 

[jufonuk]

I'd say 5-10. I'm in no rush and often times push 10+ just due to waiting on wife or giving kids a bath. With my phone and Neilgaf Gold I'm quite entertained.

Neilgaf?

 

[West Texas CEO]

As a German, it never ends. Never!

 

[dr_octagon]

get in, get out. Unless as you mentioned you're at work, in which case you take your damn time.