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I hate standing up to pee.

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P

Property of Jumpship

Banned
My initial aim is always 30% off and winds up hitting the lip of the bowl and spraying all over the place. When I correct and finally get the stream in the bowl the splash factor sends spray all over the lip, which I have to clean off after so as not to look like a pig. But if I sit down to pee (besides feeling a little fruity) the spray gets all over the inside of the seat and on my ass. I normally wait until the urgency to urinate is catastrophic, so this might be part of the problem.

Still, I'd rather have a penis than a vagina, what with menstruation and all.
 
R

raYne

Member
Get a funnel.....

funnel.jpg

Just keep it out of reach...
 
D

duderon

rollin' in the gutter
I hate the splashback when i stand up to pee. I try to hit the bowl in the right place, to create a waterfall effect, but it always gets me :(
 
M

Minotauro

Finds Purchase on Dog Nutz
hXc_thugg said:
I always sit down to piss unless I have to use a public bathroom. I'm rad like that.
Click to expand...

So, you take down your girl pants and then sit on the toilet like a girl? Are you 100% positive you have a penis?
 
H

hXc_thugg

Member
Minotauro said:
So, you take down your girl pants and then sit on the toilet like a girl? Are you 100% positive you have a penis?
Click to expand...

I am 96% sure I have a penis. I guess I could be a girl and this thing is just a hideous growth on my vulva, I can't be totally sure.
 
B

Blackcherry

Member
ScientificNinja said:
lol @ this thread :D

I've nailed my aim to a fine art - I don't even miss even in the dark. Something's wrong with you.
Click to expand...

Weird, I didn't manage to master aiming that fucking toilet in the dark. Look like some peoples here need to pratice Pee Shoting o_O

pee.jpg
 
M

Minotauro

Finds Purchase on Dog Nutz
hXc_thugg said:
I am 96% sure I have a penis. I guess I could be a girl and this thing is just a hideous growth on my vulva, I can't be totally sure.
Click to expand...

You must be vigilant in the quest to determine your own sex. Good luck.
 
E

evilromero

Member
Property of Microsoft said:
Still, I'd rather have a penis than a vagina, what with menstruation and all.
Click to expand...
This isn't good for your bladder. Not only does it cause strain and stress to the bladder and gull bladder, but there's the risk of infection and rupture. Also, you're just begging for some canerous incident sooner, rather than later. When you have to piss go.

Also, you shouldn't be missing that shit. It should be hanging down into the damn toilet. What sex are you?
 
P

Property of Jumpship

Banned
evilromero said:
Also, you shouldn't be missing that shit. It should be hanging down into the damn toilet. What sex are you?
Click to expand...

I am hanging into the toilet but my stream hits the part where the water and bowl meet, so it sprays. My toilet's water level is lower than normal.
 
L

Litigation Manuel

Member
I think my problem would mostly come in the shake. I always hate getting that leftover pee on your underwear and feeling it all day, so I always shake too much. I can't be certain (haven't really paid attention to my peeing, like really paid attention) if it's the splatter effect that gets pee on my pants or the shaking. It could in fact be both. A double dose of pee splattering. Either way, I sometimes get little spots of pee on my pants. I know some of you have been at the peeing game longer than I, any advice?
 
C

Cerebral Palsy

Banned
I sit down cause you can never trust your penis. Sometimes when you think you're done and let go... BAM, one last shot of piss sprays in a random direction. Usually all over the floor.
 
Dice

Dice

Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
:lol I don't understand at all, my aim is never off (I have mastered peeing in the dark as well). Also I never sit down unless urinating would get rid of pressure that may be holding back some bowel movements, or to be polite if people are eating or watching a movie within hearing range of the bathroom.

I think my problem would mostly come in the shake. I always hate getting that leftover pee on your underwear and feeling it all day, so I always shake too much. I can't be certain (haven't really paid attention to my peeing, like really paid attention) if it's the splatter effect that gets pee on my pants or the shaking. It could in fact be both. A double dose of pee splattering. Either way, I sometimes get little spots of pee on my pants. I know some of you have been at the peeing game longer than I, any advice?
Click to expand...
This is some of the strangest advice I've ever given but...

If you have foreskin pull that back when you go, there will be less to shake and you'll get better aim too. Then before you shake when you finish peeing suck in like you're trying to hold it and then push like you're trying to pee hard. Just do that a couple times, sometimes that'll get a last bit out. Also if toilet paper is available use it for goodness sakes.
 
D

Deleted member 1159

Unconfirmed Member
Man, never in my life have I sat down to pee if I didn't think I had a turd ready to launch afterwards. If you're trying not to make noise, either throw som toilet paper in there first to dull the sound, or aim for the sides. It's not that difficult people, you've been doing it all your lives.

The only problem I have with standing up is, at my current apartment, 100% of the time at least one little droplet of piss will pop out onto the seat, so I have to give it a wipe every time...oh well

The greater question is: how many of you shit, or have ever shat standing up? Discuss...
 
B

belgurdo

Banned
I can't hit the toilet because my penis goes down into the bowl and curves.

I have to set aside a different set of clothes every time I drink too much Pepsi
 
A

AssMan

Banned
Remember the SNL skit where Chris Kattan was making fun of Andy Dick saying "I sit down while peeing. Am I gay? OMG! Did I just say that!?"


I take a piss while sitting down. More relaxing.


and for the record, I lean to the side when wiping my ass. What's your routine?
 
Dice

Dice

Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
The only problem I have with standing up is, at my current apartment, 100% of the time at least one little droplet of piss will pop out onto the seat, so I have to give it a wipe every time...oh well
Click to expand...
geez man, put the seat up when you take a piss.
 
D

Deleted member 1159

Unconfirmed Member
meh...a little wee wee on my seat isn't going to hurt me...but if you are afraid, we go back to the shitting: STANDING UP OR SITTING DOWN?
 
L

Loki

Count of Concision
Property of Microsoft said:
My initial aim is always 30% off and winds up hitting the lip of the bowl and spraying all over the place.
Click to expand...

:lol

It's like his bathroom is located in a wind tunnel or something. :p


Btw, Property of Microsoft, do NOT hold in your piss until it's absolutely urgent-- not doing #1 when it's called for can contribute to the development of kidney stones. My dad had one a few years back and the doctor told him this.
 
M

Macam

Banned
Do what most ratty bars do then: get a trough. No more worries about cleanliness or privacy. You can even carve in your own racist graffiti if you like. :: insert Dane Cook Bathroom stand up here ::
 
A

APerfectCircle

Member
i never have problems with aim, well not to the point where its shooting out at right angles :p the problem i have is theres always pee on the floor when i go in, and you just know that someone is gunna walk in and think its yours, i really don't wanna have to clean it up! but have done so :(
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
Use the sink.

If you have a foreskin it can be a problem if you don't pull it back. I'm not really sure how you could forget to after the first diverted spray.
 
L

Lazy

Member
Litigation Manuel, could be post-micturition dribble.

I suffer from the dribble (unofficially) which is why I take a piss seated most of the time. It usually takes a good 3-4 minutes before I get up because after the initial stream and one or two mini streams, little droplets of piss continue to slowly form and drop ... and hell if I'm going to stand for that long.
 
D

doncale

Banned
I walked into a McDonnalds the other day to take a piss...didnt buy anything..... I purposely pissed all over the toilet and floor, missing the bowl completely. I was feeling pissed at everything so i decided to take it out on their bathroom. lol


btw this thread crakes me up :lol
 
T

Tarazet

Member
APerfectCircle said:
i never have problems with aim, well not to the point where its shooting out at right angles :p the problem i have is theres always pee on the floor when i go in, and you just know that someone is gunna walk in and think its yours, i really don't wanna have to clean it up! but have done so :(
Click to expand...

meet...

doncale said:
I walked into a McDonnalds the other day to take a piss...didnt buy anything..... I purposely pissed all over the toilet and floor, missing the bowl completely. I was feeling pissed at everything so i decided to take it out on their bathroom. lol
Click to expand...
 
T

thefit

Member
I never understood those long all for one at the same time tub toilets, WTF is up with those? Your just asking for a stare at you dick at one of those.
 
Dice

Dice

Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
do NOT hold in your piss until it's absolutely urgent-- not doing #1 when it's called for can contribute to the development of kidney stones. My dad had one a few years back and the doctor told him this.
Click to expand...
Crap man, fairly often I will wake up feeling kind of sore because needing to piss doesnt wake me up so it's like holding it in for hours. I need to stop drinking fluids too late at night, I don't want kidney stones.
 
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