I just found out that my GF have had threesome

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OEM

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I am seeing this girl since April and few days ago when we were watching a TV show HIMYM "Third Wheel". She asked me if I have ever had a threesome, there was an awkward pause and I said "NO" why?. she is like no was just curious. I was like "OKK". then after sometime she asked me, "aren't you going to ask me?" and then I just knew she probably did, but I asked anyways. And she indeed did, and she worded "she did it few times". With 2 guys. She told me some specifics that I wish I didn't hear it. Such as "DP" and "Rough".

Anyways, so after this conversation, her image have completely changed in my mind. I feel like I don't know her at all. I thought I will get over it within a day or two but I obviously couldn't. So here I am. Look I am not a shallow person. Its her life, she can live the way she want and do what she want. But now every time I am with her, I have that image in my head and it drives me nuts. That's all I can think of, I haven't had sex with her since then. And planning to break up with her. Am I a bad person? I like her, and she does too. But if this is something she is into, do you think she will expect me to be part of her threesome? I can't even think about it, another guy fucking her? no, just no. Can't be part of that ever.

btw

before someone suggests, no I am not going to have sex with two girls either. So I am not going to ask her to bring a girl to make it even. That's not even an option.
 
That happened to a friend of mine. He dated her for a long time, but he could never forget she was in a threesome with 2 guys.

They broke up eventually.
 
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The fact she brought it up probably means she wants to have another one and is wondering if you'd be interested. You clearly are not, and this is going to be a recurring issue. Your gut is right OP, break up.
 
Like, I would suggest Chasing Amy, but I can't even do that, because Smith fucked the ending to that movie so hard that there aren't even really any usable lessons to learn from it, aside from the fact inkers are not just tracing what the penciller did.
 
She asked me if I have ever had a threesome, there was an awkward pause and I said "NO" why?. she is like no was just curious. I was like "OKK". then after sometime she asked me, "aren't you going to ask me?" and then I just knew she probably did, but I asked anyways. And she indeed did, and she worded "she did it few times". With 2 guys. She told me some specifics that I wish I didn't hear it. Such as "DP" and "Rough".
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You know, you might need to work on your communication a bit.

And uh, if a specific thing like "Rough" weirds you out, that's rough.

Anyhow, she had sex with people before you. Whether there was only one person or multiple or certain preferences were involved does not matter much when it doesn't involve you now.
 
Is it the fact that she had a threesome that bothers you, or the previous sexual partners? I only ask because of this line
I can't even think about it, another guy fucking her?
Click to expand...
 
Does it really matter that much at the end of the day?
I mean, unless you data a virgin surely there's a lot of stuff you wouldn't want to hear about their past love life, without even thinking about threesomes.
 
SSPssp said:
The fact she brought it up probably means she wants to have another one and is wondering if you'd be interested. You clearly are not, and this is going to be a recurring issue. Your gut is right OP, break up.
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Yep this. She brought it up for a reason.
 
Why'd you give a fuck? You should be happy for her. Who cares what she did before you met

Also, she said she used to do DP, so that'd provably mean she's open for anal.

And this could be a great way to bond with a friend or a boss

What a silly reason to break up.
 
Bobby Roberts said:
Like, I would suggest Chasing Amy, but I can't even do that, because Smith fucked the ending to that movie so hard that there aren't even really any usable lessons to learn from it, aside from the fact inkers are not just tracing what the penciller did.
Click to expand...

He can stop at the end of the second act of Chasing Amy and then watch the ending of Clerks 2 instead and pretend they're the same movie.
 
Try to understand that you've had previous sexual partners, and you wouldn't want her to judge you based on what you've done with them.

But in general, it was probably a mistake to talk about sexual history.
 
My Wife has had threesomes before me. I never have. If I had the chance I would have.

Not sure why it would bug you OP? And that doesn't mean she'll have one with you. No way in hell would my Wife want me to see me with another woman. If you are in love I can't imagine having a threesome. I know some people do it, but I wouldn't want to do one with someone I care about.
 
Why not just have an adult conversation about it, rather than just immediately cutting it off? You're making a lot of assumptions based on this experience of hers.
 
The way you're describing this conversation makes it sound like she would like to try this with you. Thus her wanting you to ask her. Thus the specifics.

Regardless, you need to clear it up because it's clearly troubling you and you're letting it spiral out of control in your mind. Talk with her.
 
Bobby Roberts said:
Like, I would suggest Chasing Amy, but I can't even do that, because Smith fucked the ending to that movie so hard that there aren't even really any usable lessons to learn from it, aside from the fact inkers are not just tracing what the penciller did.
Click to expand...

I think the lesson is don't be so closed minded and worry about someones past or you'll ruin a good thing.

Unless I totally read the ending way wrong

but OP's situation is different because he didn't go digging for dirt, she initiated.
 
If that's how you feel about it, bail out. You're obviously not going to move past it, and I'm not sure she has either. A few times? Is she over that stuff? I can see her suggesting one if she's just the type of person into that, and since you're not, it won't work out.

You're not a bad person. You just have different values when it comes to sexuality, and it's a very big deal in a relationship.
 
hydrophilic attack said:
Why'd you give a fuck? You should be happy for her. Who cares what she did before you met

Also, she said she used to do DP, so that'd provably mean she's open for anal.

And this could be a great way to bond with a friend or a boss

What a silly reason to break up.
Click to expand...
"Hey boss, wanna bond over spit roasting my girlfriend?!"
 
SSPssp said:
The fact she brought it up probably means she wants to have another one and is wondering if you'd be interested. You clearly are not, and this is going to be a recurring issue. Your gut is right OP, break up.
Click to expand...

Wow, if you think this way I feel sorry for you. Women often like to share experiences they have just for the sake of feeling closer to someone, there isn't always a secret agenda.
 
Her bringing it up doesn't necessary mean she wants another one but was curious if the OP had done it before and was willing to share the fact with him. She can handle such things, he can't.

Some people are simply more adventurous in life.
 
Gentleman Jack said:
He can stop at the end of the second act of Chasing Amy and then watch the ending of Clerks 2 instead and pretend they're the same movie.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but then he's gonna be back in here like

"So I rented this donkey and I got it dolled up and she came home and was like 'whats this' and I was like 'remember when we were watching himym? well...' and she'll be like OKK"

I also like how dude made sure to get the title of the specific episode of the sitcom in there.
 
Doop said:
Is it the fact that she had a threesome that bothers you, or the previous sexual partners? I only ask because of this line
Click to expand...

Of course I am ok with the previous sexual partner. I meant another guy fucking a girl I like in front of me.
 
Be honest with her?

Ask her right out if that's something she is still interested in, and state that (assumingly) you're not.

If she's at peace with that, whatever, move on.

If she isn't and she breaks up with you, well that's the result you were going to end up at in the first place right?

Also,

Why isn't 2 girls even an option?
 
Yeah you might as well break up now OP...it doesn't seem like this is something you're going to get over and it's not the right time for you two/you two aren't a good match.
 
The way she forced that conversation on you makes me think she wants to get back in the game.
 
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