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[CrocMother]

Knowing she is into multiple penetration, you should incorporate toys into your sexual routine to spice things up.

But hey that's just what my reaction would be, I'm one of those "100% open minded laid back" perverts!

 

[Strangelove77]

What? I'm scared to google it.

Two guys, one girl. That's all it is.

 

[Uno Venova]

Thing is, Gaf prides itself on being one of the most progressive forums out there, so they usually have a general attitude that you have to be okay and understanding in every situation, sex changes, orgies etc. and if you're not, something is wrong with you.

If it bothers you OP, you don't need to be with her, it's possible to be in a relationship with another girl.

 

[Violet_0]

congrats on the sex with two partners, op's girlfriend!

 

[Bobby Roberts]

No, it does not matter

Of course it matters. It's why we're having the conversation. It's why the concern exists, and prompted the OP to crowdsource advice. It absolutely matters that he's got insecurity issues. Those will have to be worked on at some point between now and the next relationship, and throughout that relationship as well.

He doesn't have to "pretend" anything to acknowledge it matters and he's not handling it all that well. He just has to endeavor to handle it better moving forward, because the chances of him interacting with/meeting a potential s.o. who doesn't have a sexual history that could make him nervous in some way, shape, or form is pretty low.

Everyone's got shit they have to work on all the time. It matters.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Why don't you tell her that there is no possibility that you guys will ever do a threesome.

If she doesn't like that then it's time to move on, especially if she happens to be way more into sex than you do.

I get OP that you'd never cheat, and are possessive in that you will only give to one partner, to one loved one at a time. See where her head is at first.

 

[Frodo]

Oh no! Not another woman enjoying her sexuality and experimenting a few things! Quick OP!, drop her and find a 15 y/o or maybe even younger virgin. It is the only way to be sure she is immaculate. You might as well suggest her to undergo a clitoris removal surgery so she has less ways to enjoy sex, we can't have women liking sex now, can we?


How could she? You are right on wanting to break up with her. You deserve only the most pure and untouched women on your bed. I bet she was possessed while doing those despicable things too. A girl from a good family would never do that. God have mercy on her soul.

 

[DrFurbs]

It was before you.. So what? Accept or don't. Or better still, capitalise on it!

 

[Dunedain_Ranger]

Op I'd make sure you find out her whole history. If she's willing to tell you that who knows what else she may have done ...... And tell us

 

[Vermillion]

To make it even? That's pretty weird phrasing, considering you're referring to something your girlfriend did, before the two of you were together. It sounds like what really bothers you, OP, is the fact that your girlfriend has more sexual experience than you do. You know it's not a competition, right? You should probably try to work out those feelings someday, and figure out why exactly that makes you feel insecure.

No opinion here, but that's a typical GAF opinion he's cutting off at the pass. He's not worried about her having more sexual experience.

 

[Lights and Waves]

So fucking what? She hasn't murdered anyone...has she?

Exactly. What kind of misogynistic bullshit is this OP going off on? Stop trying to controlling women's bodies.

 

[B_Spooky13]

If this is bothering to the point of not being able to see her in the same light as before then it's already too late.

She had a three way. It happens. As long as she doesn't have a STD she's giving you and she isn't cheating on you, this shouldn't matter.

It does sound like she was letting you know she was up for it though.

 

[oti]

You should be in a threesome with two guys as well. To even things out. To bring balance to the world.

 

[Deleted member 13876]

btw

before someone suggests, no I am not going to have sex with two girls either. So I am not going to ask her to bring a girl to make it even. That's not even an option.

How would that make it even? It's not like she wronged you by having threesomes before you were together in the first place.

 

[Kolx]

Gaf isn't really the best place to ask questions like this.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

I can only imagine it's because there's a lot of young people here who have never personally dealt with this personally, but grew up watching a ton of porn. They think it's totally normal.

I mean, I've done threesomes and plenty of other kinky shit and I'd feel pretty put out if a partner thought I was irredeemably gross or couldn't get over the hangup over the mental image, even if I would be glad that he was up front with me because the relationship clearly wouldn't work out if that was his reaction. When you're sexually adventurous you can get slut shamed in all kinds of different ways, nd his reaction would remind me uncomfortably of homophobia I experienced when I was younger or the counselors that tried to "cure" me of my kinks.

 

[Sylas]

Exactly. What kind of misogynistic bullshit is this OP going off on? Stop trying to controlling women's bodies.

This is pretty shitty of you, my dude. He's not saying she needs to never do that again, he's saying he's not comfortable with it. He's saying he's gonna break up with her because he's not comfortable. He's not blaming her, he's not even telling her she's a bad person. He's getting out of a situation he doesn't like anymore.

Which is totally fair, even if it's probably a little weird to be grossed out by the idea.

Some people are just grossly vanilla and that's fine--even if I personally think they should understand why the idea of certain kinky things bothers them to the extent that they can't deal with it on any level.

 

[Sou Da]

You should be in a threesome with two guys as well. To even things out. To bring balance to the world.

I was waiting for the two girls version of this post.

How long has OP known this girl?

 

[Anion]

It could be a test to see if you really love her for who she is. Who knows, thinking about it now makes me think that's...quite a way to gauge someone

 

[Strangelove77]

How would that make it even? It's not like she wronged you by having threesomes before you were together in the first place.

In a sitcom this is probably what would be suggested.

In a sitcom.

 

[Azuran]

OP don't blame the girl for living the dream. You're better off breaking off with her if you're going to see her like that from now on. It's better for everyone. You can continue your quest for the pure virgin maiden and she can look for someone who won't be irrationally insecure and judgmental.

 

[Oersted]

Women, just like you, likely had sex before you. If you can not deal with that, you need help.

 

[royalan]

Break up, you are not ready

Bingo.

There's a lesson here for the both of you.

You: learn to accept the fact that the people you might be interested in may have had sex lives (even interesting ones) before you. You're entitled to feel how you feel, but sex is fun. Damn fun, and we as a society are becoming more open to the idea of exploring it. The idea that the person you're with has to be a virgin (or only experienced in vanilla sex) is a little naive, and this will become more true the older you get.

Her: Girl needs to learn to keep her business to herself. Nothing wrong with sharing with your significant other, but from the sounds of things, she dived right into the nitty gritty details, and it was way too soon for that. Don't get me wrong, ain't nothing wrong with a 2-for-1 dick down, but that CAN be a bit overwhelming to just drop in someone's lap. Ease in, girl.

 

[Friggz]

my wife said she had a 3some before we met and didnt enjoy it.

ive spent the last 5 years of my marriage dropping subtle hints here and there that id be interested having one with her.

you and i are very different OP.

 

[Deleted member 13876]

In a sitcom this is probably what would be suggested.

In a sitcom.

I now see he's already addressed it though, so I feel like a bit of a dick to bring it up again.

 

[vern]

I can only imagine it's because there's a lot of young people here who have never personally dealt with this personally, but grew up watching a ton of porn. They think it's totally normal.

Nailed it... Lol.

Or we just don't have weird hang ups about sex. Sex is fun. I'm 31, can't remember the last time I watched porn. Don't give a shit about any of my partners past, as long as they get tested regularly why does it matter at all what they did before you were in the picture?

Maybe I've just slept with too many people (haven't) to care, I can't be judgemental cuz of all the stuff I've done? Except I was never the jealous type, even my first few girls. It's interesting to know your partners past, IMO. You can talk about what you both have tried, likes and dislikes, and grow together sexually and just be open and honest. Much better than actively imagining two cocks in your gf and deciding to break up because of it..

Newsflash, his next gf probably swallowed some other dudes cum before , and he will have to kiss her ! Omg what a terrible image. Just be a monk if sex bothers you.

 

[Lulubop]

Damn, you a lame OP.

 

[hal9001]

You'll get over it.

 

[Skab]

37 dicks

 

[Tansut]

She wants the D, D, and maybe one more D.

 

[Keri]

This is not what I meant at all. I have been reading GAF forever, and I know how some replies are in this type of situation. So before the conversation gets shifted as in "you probably have double standard, because if you had chance to sleep with two girl at the same time, you probably would" or "since you gf is into it, ask her to bring her friend" etc.

I hope you get what I am trying to say, but I specified that because I am not into the idea at all.

Well, OK. In that case, I don't get it. I mean, I understand completely not wanting to have a threesome yourself. In this case, are you worried that she'll want to have a threesome with you and you'll feel pressured into doing it? Or is it just something about knowing she's done it in the past, that makes her now unattractive to you?

It sounds a little like you're assuming this is a defining sexual fetish for her, that she'll always want and will eventually destroy the relationship. You should try talking it out with her first, before you do anything, to see if that fear of yours is true.

 

[Gentleman Jack]

ive spent the last 5 years of my marriage dropping subtle hints here and there that id be interested having one with her.

Have you tried sitting down and watching HIMYM together?

 

[kerotan_eater]

I guess my question to you OP is what is it that is exactly wrong with her having a threesome with two guys?

99% of guys would love that with two girls.

What makes her act seem so wrong to you exactly? She is a girl who likes penis. What's wrong with two? Who knows, maybe a majority of girls your age would want two dicks at a time, even if they deny it. There is nothing wrong with that like two vaginas in MFF threesome isnt wrong either.

 

[Tobinishi]

(Probably) Everyone has done things in the past the partner is not really fond off but if you truly care about the person, you get over it and move on.

So I'm really amazed that you want to dumb her just because of her sexual experience. Seems like you are not really into her and just want to find an easy way out...

 

[Draper]

That's a hard pill to swallow OP. I'd be just as torn, like your gf.

Edit: due to being kinda insensitive.

Double edit: Eh, fuck it

 

[BossDarkseid]

That's a slap in the face.

 

[Always-honest]

You'll get over it.

Dude

 

[Amibguous Cad]

Bingo.

There's a lesson here for the both of you.

You: learn to accept the fact that the people you might be interested in may have had sex lives (even interesting ones) before you. You're entitled to feel how you feel, but sex is fun. Damn fun, and we as a society are becoming more open to the idea of exploring it. The idea that the person you're with has to be a virgin (or only experienced in vanilla sex) is a little naive, and this will become more true the older you get.

Her: Girl needs to learn to keep her business to herself. Nothing wrong with sharing with your significant other, but from the sounds of things, she dived right into the nitty gritty details, and it was way too soon for that. Don't get me wrong, ain't nothing wrong with a 2-for-1 dick down, but that CAN be a bit overwhelming to just drop in someone's lap.

I'm odd enough sexually that I just keep throwing weirdness at my potential partner and wait for them to blink. If it's a deal breaker I'd rather know it up front rather than invest time and energy into a relationship with someone that it's not going to work out with. It's probably best to get that sort of thing out of the way early.

 

[Friggz]

Have you tried sitting down and watching HIMYM together?

no - i didnt even know what that was until i googled it.

 

[Familienoberhauptvogel]

Did I miss something or why is it about the gf's general sexual history, isn't OP bothered by the polyamory? The structure of the sentences make it seem like the thought of her with another guy while they are having a relationship is the problem.

And this might sound weird but talk to her, if you intend to break up over it might wanna confirm if it would have even been an issue.

 

[Palette Swap]

I can only imagine it's because there's a lot of young people here who have never personally dealt with this personally, but grew up watching a ton of porn. They think it's totally normal.

Nice strawman.

I'm probably older than most people here, didn't grow up with porn, and yet I've had a couple of exes I stayed a long time with who had previously done stuff like that. I don't think it's normal (or abnormal FWIW), it's not something I'd like, but I don't think how people acted at one particular point their lives in one particular aspect of their lives should somehow define them forever.

I certainly wouldn't blame OP for being uncomfortable with this, as it's pretty hard to be in a relationship with someone if you don't feel comfortable, and no amount of words is going to somehow change OP's view.

 

[Effect]

Damn she shared something personal with you because she thought she might be able to trust you.

You sure showed her!

Sharing information due to trust is one thing. You still need to do so with consideration of the other person and you can overshare. Going into detail about your past sexual experience, especially something like this, should be given a second and a third thought and you should be sure the other person might be okay with said knowledge. These type of experiences do not have to be shared. You can keep stuff to yourself. You don't just drop that shit on another person in the moment. If you feel like you can you certainly do not go into detail about it. That's stupid. Knowing your significant other has a sexual past is one thing. Knowing the details is something else. That she should have never offered up.

Look at this way OP. You're dating. You aren't married. If you can't get over this or the image out of your head you can walk without any issue.

 

[GravityMan]

Get over it, OP. You come across as a young man who's lived a very sheltered life.

96% of adults have had prior sexual history and a substantial subset of them have had adventurous sexual escapades, including threesomes and much, much more. Sex is one of the most essential things in most people's lives, and people like to experiment and be creative to keep things fresh, fun and interesting. Get used to it.

If you want to have any chance of salvaging this relationship with your girlfriend, then you've gotta grow up, get over your hangups, and start being more of an adult whenever sexual history is brought up. Most women DO NOT like insecurity in men, it's one of the biggest turnoffs out there.

That said, I suspect that the chances of salvaging this relationship are slim...even if you do become more mature.

 

[Pork]

lol at this thread. Slut shaming vs vanilla shaming.

 

[_Ryo_]

I dont think you're mature enough for this relationship and probably others to last. No offense, OP.

Btw 2 guys is hot. 2 girls too. It's even more fun when you bring toys.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

Have you tried sitting down and watching HIMYM together?

No amount of dudes banging your girlfriend can be worse than the season finale. At least she's not best friends with someone she's waiting around for you to get cancer so she can be with.

 

[Herbs]

That's a hard pill to swallow OP. I'd be just as torn, like your gf.

 

[Opto]

Oh so she's available soon? Can I have her number, she sounds fun

 

[NoblesseOblige]

OP says MFF is off the table, but is OP down for MMF?

 

[hal9001]

Dude

Haha. Don't worry. It's a still from the film Nymphomaniac. The safest image I could find.