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[Dr_Salt]

If he continues like that he will grow up to be a Chad. Thats the kind of behaviour that drives women crazy these days.

 

[sircaw]

a restraining order, don't let that bitch anywhere near your kid.

let him be, just let the kid grow up.

 

[ThatStupidLion]

Leave him be

 

[G-Bus]

I like reading questions like this, or similar ones about relationships. Every single time I don't understand why you don't just say what you've said here to that person....

 

[nush]

If he continues like that he will grow up to be a Chad. Thats the kind of behaviour that drives women crazy these days.

 

[Ionian]

Fuck that, bring it up. Some people need some directions.

On picking up girls at 11?

Errrr ... you sure about that?

 

[BaneIsPain]

Another ten years, then you should be a bit worry.

 

[eot]

On picking up girls at 11?

Errrr ... you sure about that?

I didn't say he should teach his kid PUA stuff, just give him a gentle push in the right direction

 

[GeekyDad]

He's 11...

My wife thinks I should just let him be and says I'm projecting (and maybe I am), but guys, I see the handsome cool kid my son is, I want him to fucking thrive.

Your wife sounds like a smart lady.

 

[Ionian]

I didn't say he should teach his kid PUA stuff, just give him a gentle push in the right direction

He's 11, speak to him once puberty hits.

From what the dude posted the kid isn't interested. Let him have his video games and cartoons and speak about it when the kid is curious.

You don't coach a kid about girls at that age, especially if he isn't bothered. That's fucked up.

Just imagine the stress a kid will feel after such a talk.

 

[SidViscous]

Your son sounds like a baller, he's already figured out the "treat them mean, keep them keen" technique.

When I was his age I was a "keener" over every pretty girl and it got me nowhere with any of them.

I don't see the need for you to step in here, just keep an eye out for any fedora's and he'll be fine.

 

[xrnzaaas]

I think it's pretty normal for a 11 year old to "hate" girls. Check back 2-3 years later.

 

[GAMETA]

Dude he is ELEVEN OP thats not at all what I expected when I clicked this thread. Back WAY the fuck off this issue and examine your own motives because this is not healthy.

Nah man, I think you're getting this wrong. It's not so much about the hitting or anything, neither it is about he getting a girlfriend this age or anything like that.

It's about his confidence in talking to people, be it his friends, be it girls that show interest in him, be it other people... I was a weirdo from around his age, I feard social encounters, I worry about him and I worry about him having a lack of confidence or self esteem problems.

The kids in his class all talk in the class group chat or with one another, they seem really social, but he doesn't, he barely responds and or completely avoid responding saying he doesn't wanto to or doesn't care... I don't worry about him being a loner because I know he has friends and he talks to them almost everyday on online games or live, but what is it with the phone thing and his avoidance? Is it because of girls? Is it because he feels insecure about socializing out of his comfort zone? is there other reasons?

So you see, my fear is that this lack of interest, avoidance or insecurity lead him to become ostracized later on. He shouldn't be worried about a girlfriend now, of course not, but what happens in 4 or 5 years if he's insecure about himself and avoid social interactions? That's the point.

 

[INC]

Maybe, but I don't think this is the case I work in the school system, and nowadays kids are showing they're homosexuality a lot earlier, even in elementary school. I've seen a lot of younger gays more comfortable in their skin than young straight men.

They may have sympathetic parents tho, who aren't bullying them to dates girls.......

 

[Peggies]

Poor little sod. I think you should leave him be. Maybe she's a bitch or boring.
Or even worse, ugly. Is she ugly?

 

[GAMETA]

Perhaps he prefers boys, and he feels youre pressuring him to hook up with girls. Could be mentally scarring him

Hope this helps

There's no pressure at all man, really. We're not talking to him like "you need to talk to girls", all we say is "you should respond to who's talking to you".

I wouldn't mind if he was gay, but I really don't think he is, he's shown interest the female body and figure, specially breasts, lol.

 

[INC]

There's no pressure at all man, really. We're not talking to him like "you need to talk to girls", all we say is "you should respond to who's talking to you".

I wouldn't mind if he was gay, but I really don't think he is, he's shown interest the female body and figure, specially breasts, lol.

I'm busting ya balls dude

 

[Ionian]

I wouldn't mind if he was gay, but I really don't think he is, he's shown interest the female body and figure, specially breasts, lol.

Gay people like breasts too. Just leave the damn kid alone.

EDIT: asking parenting advice on a gaming forum for a child is simply asking to be ridiculed.

 

[Hudo]

I think it's pretty normal for a 11 year old to "hate" girls. Check back 2-3 years later.

 

[GAMETA]

Gay people like breasts too. Just leave the damn kid alone.

The "damn kid" is my son and my wife and I have a really good relation with him. There's no leave him alone, that's not how we do things here, mate.

There's no pressure at all regarding sexuality or anything like that, if that's what you're worried about. That doesn't mean a resposible parent shouldn't worry about how their kids interact with the world. What the hell are you talking about?

 

[Ionian]

The "damn kid" is my son and my wife and I have a really good relation with him. There's no leave him alone, that's not how we do things here, mate.

There's no pressure at all regarding sexuality or anything like that, if that's what you're worried about. That doesn't mean a resposible parent shouldn't worry about how their kids interact with the world. What the hell are you talking about?

You're the one that made a thread about your 11 year old. Also questioned about how he should deal with girls,

That is on you. Many posters gave advice. Simply take it or leave it.

Nobody was offensive.

 

[Tschumi]

He's 11. That's a bit early. 13ish is when i first thought about girlfriends... Look...

It's not about how he thinks about girls, or whenever, it's about how comfortable he is in his own skin. Does he know what he's doing? Does he know people listen to him? Does he know that he matters to daily decision making and such?

If your kid is just a - i hate to use this term which has been adopted by idiots - npc in his own life, he won't think of himself as an object of interest for anyone, peer or otherwise.

I was on such hard autopilot as a kid that, with the exception of an amazingly into-me first girlfriend, i had not idea how to treat my school peers. If any of them had any thoughts about me at all i was totally oblivious, and i just sort of banged my head against the chat windows of whichever girl i was in to that month as a consequence.

I only started to really value myself after i left my peer group and started hanging out with older, more relatable people...

... But it kept happening in certain areas for a long time, i remember in my first year of uni i met a girl at a bus stop, she basically invited herself to my apartment and was talking about how depressing her boyfriend was AND how everyone said the best part of her was her ass and i was still waiting for a clear sign, lol god...

Let your son know that his grades are under his control. His hours. His relationships. Knowing that he is in control of his life will make him more aware of, and active in it.

 

[GAMETA]

You're the one that made a thread about your 11 year old. Also questioned about how he should deal with girls,

That is on you. Many posters gave advice. Simply take it or leave it.

Nobody was offensive.

Ok, fair enough.

 

[GAMETA]

He's 11. That's a bit early. 13ish is when i first thought about girlfriends... Look...

It's not about how he thinks about girls, or whenever, it's about how comfortable he is in his own skin. Does he know what he's doing? Does he know people listen to him? Does he know that he matters to daily decision making and such?

If your kid is just a - i hate to use this term which has been adopted by idiots - npc in his own life, he won't think of himself as an object of interest for anyone, peer or otherwise.

I was on such hard autopilot as a kid that, with the exception of an amazingly into-me first girlfriend, i had not idea how to treat my school peers. If any of them had any thoughts about me at all i was totally oblivious, and i just sort of banged my head against the chat windows of whichever girl i was in to that month as a consequence.

I only started to really value myself after i left my peer group and started hanging out with older, more relatable people...

... But it kept happening in certain areas for a long time, i remember in my first year of uni i met a girl at a bus stop, she basically invited herself to my apartment and was talking about how depressing her boyfriend was AND how everyone said the best part of her was her ass and i was so waiting for a clear sign, lol god...

Let your son know that his grades are under his control. His hours. His relationships. Knowing that he is in control of his life will make him more aware of, and active in it.

That's a good perspective, I'm not sure how aware he is of his own role is his own life. I'll definitively talk to him about this. Thanks for the advice, man!

 

[nush]

I only started to really value myself after i left my peer group and started hanging out with older, more relatable people...

This is so true, once you get to an age where you have independence and can go out and iteract with adults by yourself without being in the framework of them being an authortiy figure or you being a member of the family you get good social growth. Even if of course the adults will still see you as a kid but also are as a person without the family baggage. I learned so much during that first period of freedom going out around my small town and talking with people and listening to their advice that was often wider than my own parents limited world views.

 

[Tschumi]

That's a good perspective, I'm not sure how aware he is of his own role is his own life. I'll definitively talk to him about this. Thanks for the advice, man!

My pleasure! Delighted to help! Good luck to him

Edit: I spent a few years teaching kids in middle schools, and you can tell which kids are really thinking and which just buzz through the days. I reckon you should surprise him with responsibilities that he's not really expecting, that'll make him think. I traveled a lot as a kid so i didn't spend a long time playing any one sport, but having that kind of extra thing to do with his time, to work on improving, might be really helpful.

 

[GeorgPrime]

He's 11, still young and all, but that's kind of where it begins, I want him to have self confidence.

His girl classmate keeps sending messages to him on his phone, lot's of giggles and all that, but he's like "yeah, whatever, I don't wanna answer"... he doesn't like answering his friends on the phone as well, although he talks to them normally live or on online games... So I don't know..


I was a fucking weirdo growing up, I was afraid of girls for the longest time, I was afraid of talking to people... It sucks, I don't want my son to follow these same steps, it took me too long to overcome (and even only partially so far).

My fear is that he's afraid of answering, and I notice he gets anxious sometimes, but maybe that's just the fucking weirdo teenage loner in me seeing things where they don't exist... Maybe I should just let him handle however he sees fit, but I don't know...

I look back and I notice I let too much stuff slide growing up... I've attributed a lot of my self-doubts and low self esteem to the conditions I grew up in: fucking poor in a rich kids school, depressed indifferent mother, saw my father once or twice a year, bullying, etc, (none of which my son goes through), but I'm worried he's showing the same insecurities I had, and I'd like to help (which I don't even know if is possible)...


My wife thinks I should just let him be and says I'm projecting (and maybe I am), but guys, I see the handsome cool kid my son is, I want him to fucking thrive.

Maybe he waits for a boy to write him?

 

[Woo-Fu]

I would stay out of it.

Can't you remember being that age and how you felt if/when your parents decided to butt in?

 

[jason10mm]

Might be his teacher in disguise.....

 

[Kadayi]

Reverse Psychology: Instead of castigating him for not responding, expressed jealousy that everyone wants a piece of him. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Elektro Demon]

He's still a kid. At that age all I was thinking about were games. Leave him be.

 

[wvnative]

Maybe he is like me?

Was always a hardcore introvert, I just always and still don't, give a crap about hanging with other people. I have zero social issues in regards to interacting with others, I just rather spend time alone

 

[DESTROYA]

Take his phone away so he actually has to talk to his friends in person.
I really see no benefit giving a kid a smartphone these days , it makes kids more distant if you give them a easy option.

 

[MaestroMike]

agreed take his phone away he doesn't need it at that age

 

[John2290]

I was ready to say let him until I read he was eleven. Get the baseball bat out and give him a good scare.

 

[AJUMP23]

Nothing will drive women away like having an overly involved dad in the sons dating life. Listen to your wife.

 

[nush]

Might be his teacher in disguise.....

Or a pedo.

 

[Yamisan]

Maybe he isn't into the female sex, thats pretty simple.

 

[GeorgPrime]

I think it's pretty normal for a 11 year old to "hate" girls. Check back 2-3 years later.

Bigger tits = increased interest

*lol*

 

[xrnzaaas]

Bigger tits = increased interest

*lol*

I was talking about hormones and hitting puberty.

 

[nush]

and hitting puberty.

 

[MilkyJoe]

He's 11, he's not interested in girls yet

 

[Hudo]

Bigger tits = increased interest

*lol*

I'd hypothesize that boob size ~ interest relation most likely can be fitted to a Gaussian distribution, where there's a decline of interest after the boob size has crossed a certain threshold. Now finding the global maximum is another question.

 

[LisaMariaMartin]

Don't project your own insecurites on your kid OP

 

[Perry Simm but in space]

His girl classmate keeps sending messages to him on his phone, lot's of giggles and all that, but he's like "yeah, whatever, I don't wanna answer"

I wouldn't worry at all, quite the opposite. If he manages to keep up that attitude through puberty, he will be swimming in pussy in no time. What's attractive about a man that gets giddy whenever a girl talks to him?

 

[DogofWar]

Just ask him in a friendly and casual manner if there is any girl he likes?
Would be quite obvious to see if he just aint interested yet or need a little kick in the butt to get to it from how he answers.

Not all 11 year olds are interested in girls yet.

 

[AJUMP23]

This is the worst thread I have ever seen.

 

[BigBooper]

You gonna rent him a hooker for his 16th birthday too? Is 16 legal in UK? Let him figure some stuff out for himself. If his friends are not interested in girls, he won't be yet either. Heck, he probably hasn't started puberty yet.

I gotta say, I never would have expected to see a topic of a parent complaining that their 11 year old isn't hooking up enough.

 

[GAMETA]

Take his phone away so he actually has to talk to his friends in person.
I really see no benefit giving a kid a smartphone these days , it makes kids more distant if you give them a easy option.

He doesn't use his phone... it's become a direct line to him when my wife or I call and that's about it...

The thread was, in part, about this... his friends and classmates all talk to each other on their phones, he doesn't seem to be interested in it, even when they clearly invite him to chat groups or send direct messages...

"But what's the problem? He's a kid" I agree, I see no problem in him not wanting to use phones, he is a kid, but considering that's basically how his classmates socialize with one another, I wonder if there's other motives involved... maybe social insecurity? I don't know.

But whatever, I hope you can understand why this would make me concerned... I don't think any parent would want his kid to be ostracized.

 

[AJUMP23]

Lots of people taking this the wrong way, but it's alright, maybe those who have kids understood my concerns.

Nuking the thread seems to be the best option for now, lol.

I have multiple children and think you may be the dumbest human on the face of the planet. This is meant to be harsh.