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[Nintendo Ate My Children]

Without boring you people with too many details, I'm thinking about moving back in with my dad in order to get out of credit card debt. I'm 24 and am going to graduate college in a little over a year (December 2005). I could have my debt down and have a little money saved in about 6-9 months, so this wouldn't be a long-term thing.

It's just, Christ, I'd be 24 and living with my dad. LOSER. LOSER. LOSER, etc. It just seems like I'd be going backward with my life instead of going forward. There are various pros and cons to the move, but the big thing that's causing me problems is the simple fact that I'd be 24 and living at home.

I don't know, what would you do? Have any of you moved back in with your parents after living on your own for years? How old were you when you moved out? Give me a little perspective.

 

[MrAngryFace]

I moved back with parents after 'being out' for a year. Its hard, and a lot like prison. You lose A LOT of rights. While you are an adult, and know the world your parents live in, when you move in with them they still assume things will be as they were.

Some parents will hang it over you, even if its not obvious. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, but its hell. On earth. Like in that episode of Angel that I missed cause I wasnt allowed to run cable to my room upstairs.

Im 24 right now, but im moving back out on my own thank god. No one really held it against me, but it limits you terribly, and thats where the self-inflicted shame and regret comes in.

 

[Meier]

Do it man. It's more commonplace than you think and it'll be worth it in the long run.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

don't do it.

be an asshole to yourself and limit your spending and get out of debt with pure hard slog. It will feel alot better than living with the olds again.

 

[Nintendo Ate My Children]

If I would move in with my dad, I wouldn't have any problem with losing any freedom, since he's always pretty much let me do what I want.

 

[Tommie Hu$tle]

I didn't and wish I would have. Pride is a beautiful thing but, know when to say when is even better. Take this next year or two and clean your debt up. You'll be much better off for it in the long run.

 

[MrAngryFace]

Its not about pride, its about being allowed to be yourself. Thats impossible, and you end up far more miserable than if you missed a few meals.

I just spent a year doing it.

 

[Richiban]

Don't do it.

You have your routine and they have theirs. There'll be some major headbutting involved as you try to do your own thing only to realize that it's not going to happen.

Look for alternatives like room-mates or a job.

I'm not sure what your education schedule is like, but if most people can go to school and hold down a job(sometimes 2) I'm sure you can as well.

 

[BlackMage]

im 23 and living with my mom again while finishing up college. living in california, it is very hard to go out and live on your own, since everything is so expensive, plus the fact that living with roomates tends to not work out, in the long run.

edit: i should note that i am in no way under any set of rules while living at home. the only thing i have to do is keep the house clean hahaha. i should also note that i still have a job cause i still have a shit load of bills.

 

[Triumph]

No way dude, you need to stick to your guns here. Don't move back in with your parents, and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES pay off your credit card debts.

What you want to do is run those puppies up so high that you lap yourself and start back at zero!

 

[MrAngryFace]

Plus parents often have unspoken expectations of 'the way things will be' when you move in, and will neglect to tell you. As time goes by and things arent going their way they will get more and more angry, feeling youve let them down when in reality its not your fault at all cause you didnt fuggin promise to do anything to begin with.

 

[heavy liquid]

Do it man. It's more commonplace than you think and it'll be worth it in the long run.

I'll second this. DO IT. I know plenty of people who have had to do this (including myself). It may suck, but it's not forever. You don't want to fuck with credit cards and credit ratings. That shit will haunt you for a long time, and the quicker you get out from under that, the better off you'll be.

 

[MrAngryFace]

I dont think "suck" quite describes how it will be. Guess you gotta make a choice between personal psychological hell, and financial hell.

 

[sc0la]

I went and lived with my dad for a while after graduating. It was cool. He and I never lived together when I was a child so it was a chance for us to bond...

And by bond I mean 007 I didn't know my dad threw down on goldeneye!

Just do what is right for you. As long as your dad is cool the situation could be mutually beneficial.

 

[BlackMage]

I dont think "suck" quite describes how it will be. Guess you gotta make a choice between personal psychological hell, and financial hell.

remember not all parents are the same.

 

[MrAngryFace]

Just be careful, they'll act cool at first, but once youre in they know its too late for you to make another move and the true intentions surface.

 

[Triumph]

Just be careful, they'll act cool at first, but once youre in they know its too late for you to make another move and the true intentions surface.

Did your parents try to sell you off on the black market as a man servant, MAF?

 

[heavy liquid]

remember not all parents are the same.

That's true. My parents are actually still together, and actually pretty cool(!). As much as parents can be, of course. So the level of suck was fairly low for me.

So the question is: How bad do you think it'll be to live with your dad?

 

[beerbelly]

What the fuck is wrong with living with your parents as long as you're still under 30? You're still young. SHIT.

 

[Nintendo Ate My Children]

So the question is: How bad do you think it'll be to live with your dad?

Eh, I don't know. We've never had a close relationship, but it's not hostile, either. He's just kinda there.

 

[heavy liquid]

Then I'd say go for it. It may give you guys a chance to bond like scola and his dad, and get out from under the evil credit card inc.

 

[Eric-GCA]

I'll be 24 in about two months and I still live with my parents. Its very stress-free for myself. Got a nice roof over my head and nice meals everyday.

 

[snaildog]

I don't know why people use credit cards in the first place, but I'd move in and pay it off. You've got a whole life ahead of you to live where you want; what's a year or so? And living with your dad isn't exactly a legally binding contract (at least I hope not), so you can move out if it gets unbearable.

 

[vangace]

I am 25 and after being own my own for a while i moved in with my sister, why? simple to save money. I too live in Los Angeles, everything here is so expensive and i am in debt i owe about $5000. So bottom line, its not like you are going to be living with your dad forever its only for awhile.

 

[fart]

how much debt?

 

[mrmyth]

how much debt?

Yeah^^^


As a couple with almost 15k between the both of us (damn foolish youth!), an opportunity to not pay most bills in order to get rid of this frickin' debt would be a godsend right about now.
Anything over 5k in credit card debt can take forever to pay off even if you do it in big chunks.

 

[Malakhov]

I'd move in with your parents again if I were you. Get out of your debts and then start anew, thank god you still have a chance to do it or in a few years you could still be in debts and have no way out of them.

 

[teiresias]

I'm 25 and have only lived on my own for my first two years of college and this past year for my first year of grad school. The rest of the time I lived at home while I went to school.

I have no regrets about doing it because between my scholarships and everything it has kept me out of major debt (as in I only have $2k of college loans to pay off). However, it's not like I'm mooching off of them, I pay all of my own other bills otherwise - car payment ($300/month), phone bill, car insurance, health insurance (for a time), textbooks, etc.

Of course, it depends on your parents as well. Mine are very laid back (they're divorced so I actually only live with my dad, but my mom is like five minutes away anyway). This means I can come and go as I please, and do whatever, they don't really care, aside from my dad occasionally asking where I'm going and I'll tell him - or lie if I don't want him to know.

I don't see how it's anything to be ashamed of, because by the time I graduate with my M.S. - hopefully this coming May - I'll be relatively free of any large educational debt responsibility and can just get on with making money, putting away for retirement, saving for a house, without having to worry about school loans.

But, as I said, it really does depend on what the relationship between you and your parents is like.

 

[Mau_Mau]

It's just, Christ, I'd be 24 and living with my dad. LOSER. LOSER. LOSER, etc. It just seems like I'd be going backward with my life instead of going forward. There are various pros and cons to the move, but the big thing that's causing me problems is the simple fact that I'd be 24 and living at home.

You're looking at this the wrong way. Sure, moving back with the folks definately sucks - loss of some freedoms, feels like taking a step back, etc. But, if you're already going to grad school (have you been accepted already?) next December, then you're already guaranteed that you life will be moving forward. If you've got some credit card debt (depending on how severe it is), then use this time before school to bust your ass and pay things off.

Living at home at 24 is not a sign of a loser, you're still young. Being 35 and having little to no credit, and getting denied loans and other services where a credit check is needed because you fucked with the credit card companies when you were 24 is the sign of a loser. I've known people who lived at home until the age of 25-26, busted their asses during that time and are now highly successful people - making well over 500,000-1,000,000 a year. So, my advice to you is to get over it, suck it up, get outta debt (because your ass is probably just gonna add more during grad school), and make good use of your time before heading back into academia.

And, if it truly makes you feel like shit to be living back with a parent, offer to pay rent or help out on the utilities each month. That can instill some pride back in you as it wouldnt seem so much as you mooching.

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

I just did it. It's working out but only cuz I demanded some ground rules. No restrictions on coming and going has been a rule for quite some time and I'm always amazed at parents who try to restrict their 18+ children. But I wouldn't have moved back in at 26 years old if taking off for a few days would have been a problem. Biggest thing for me and my feelings of independence was having a lady over. No problems so far and I'm not bragging but in college and beyond, I got used to the fact that a chick could come crash at my place, sexual or not. I'm not going back on that and I told my mom straight up. It's bad enough that I have to convince the chick that it's ok. But most people in their 20s understand.

I kinda felt the same way about being a 'loser' but talking to most successful people, it's a great way to get back on their feet and most have done it in my circle of friends. I'm lucky I have minimal costs and within a few months and definitely within the year, I'll have enough for a down payment and closing costs for a nice house or condo. It would have been nice to get that off the bat but this is her way of giving me a down payment. And, our house is much better than any place I could afford.

Think about what's important to you and your independence. Figure out what you don't want to allow or bend to and see if your dad will agree on those points. Find some ground rules and never disrespect your parents (cut down the late night orgies and streaking). But if y'all can come to an agreement, it can work out. And look at it as a great way to save money to either pay off the credit card or find a place on your own. You'll have to sacrifice but they will too. Remember, he's probably changing his life some to accomodate you. I recommend it. But not for too long. Set a move out date or time frame and stick with it. Mine is 18 months tops with a hope of <12 months.

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

Of course, it depends on your parents as well. Mine are very laid back (they're divorced so I actually only live with my dad, but my mom is like five minutes away anyway). This means I can come and go as I please, and do whatever, they don't really care, aside from my dad occasionally asking where I'm going and I'll tell him - or lie if I don't want him to know.

Sounds familiar. I usually end up lying but at times, I know it makes moms feel better to know where I am at. 'Just in case'. But when she's just being nosy, I lie or tell her nothing. It does piss me off some when she asks where I am going when I'm just going around the corner.

 

[Azih]

Do it. Debt is bad. And you can be an asshole to yourself and limit your spending while you're living with your dad, this will get you out of debt really fast and you can get back to building your life.

 

[Vark]

hah, i just moved into my parents house after undergrad and took over three rooms. It's been about 2 months now I guess, they haven't really said anything. It helps that my dad's usually off on business and my mom would rather have someone (anyone really) else in the house even if it means she's going to be forking out extra cash for food.

No bills, no rent, The only downside is it makes dating downright impossible.

On the plus side in 2 weeks I start my full time and I'll have a disposable salary. Not income.. salary. *disposable*. Several tens of thousands of dollars.. not alloted to shit.

Granted this will only last about 6 months before i move out, but hey. Maybe I just lucked out and my parents are more apathetic than I am.

 

[Pimpwerx]

LOL! Don't feel bad. I'm 26 now and been back home for a year now. I'm gonna stay here until next Summer. I've lived on my own or with roommates since 1995. It's hard readjusting, and I do feel like I've lost a lot of freedom, but my parents stay out of my hair. I get out and have fun too, so it works out. I would have moved out this year, but I saved so much money, I decided to get a car. And now I'm gonna pay off my laptop and save some money for a big trip next year. It's a bit of a tradeoff. The hope is that I'll save enough cash that I'll be able to buy all the things I want to make the rest of my re-free years that much better. Two years in the hole, but now I'm better off for when I get back out on my own.

Since I moved back, I've been doing nothing but planning to get out. If I wasn't saving money, I don't know if I could stand being around here. I am very different from my family these days. PEACE.

 

[Naked Snake]

MAF, maybe you need to realize that not all parents are like yours? No offence or anything, but you keep stressing your own experience like it's an undisputed law of physics or something, which comes off as narrowminded IMO.

Edit: Haha, I wrote this right after reading MAF's last post, then I went back to continue reading the thread and saw that many people have already brought this point forward.

 

[Cool]

Without boring you people with too many details, I'm thinking about moving back in with my dad in order to get out of credit card debt. I'm 24 and am going to graduate college in a little over a year (December 2005). I could have my debt down and have a little money saved in about 6-9 months, so this wouldn't be a long-term thing.

It's just, Christ, I'd be 24 and living with my dad. LOSER. LOSER. LOSER, etc. It just seems like I'd be going backward with my life instead of going forward. There are various pros and cons to the move, but the big thing that's causing me problems is the simple fact that I'd be 24 and living at home.

I don't know, what would you do? Have any of you moved back in with your parents after living on your own for years? How old were you when you moved out? Give me a little perspective.

Going back to the original topic, I'm only 17, but my sister is 21 and she recently decided to come back (to Pennsylvania) and live here for a while to get out of debt and make some money. The tension in my house is a nightmear. She seems to hate being here and is always needing something. My sister has been here for a total of about four days and originally wanting to stay here a couple of months she's already wanting to back off on her own (in Florida). Just thought I'd share my experiences because it seemed to hit close to home.