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[Mully]

We aren't social anymore. As much as we like to say that these types of communication make it easier to socialize, it only weakens our ability to talk and listen to one another. We're becoming socially immature.

It's really scary to think about how much we NEED certain devices in our lives now to stay connected. It's making all of us into really bad listeners. If it's not in texts, emails, or Facebook statuses, we're not really listening.

It was pretty frustrating today when we were discussing a topic in class today. Everyone was tuned out. There was no discussion, just people not listening to one another as they read something off the internet. It was really infuriating.

People need to tune out new forms of communication and stick to the simplest form, a face to face conversation.

 

[Socreges]

You're using your Facebook circle as a sample for an entire society?

Pretty sure the anti-social people that use Facebook wouldn't be all that social either way.

We aren't social anymore. As much as we like to say that these types of communication make it easier to socialize, it only weakens our ability to talk and listen to one another. We're becoming socially immature.

It's really scary to think about how much we NEED certain devices in our lives now to stay connected. It's making all of us into really bad listeners. If it's not in texts, emails, or Facebook statuses, we're not really listening.

It was pretty frustrating today when we were discussing a topic in class today. Everyone was tuned out. There was no discussion, just people not listening to one another as they read something off the internet. It was really infuriating.

People need to tune out new forms of communication and stick to the simplest form, a face to face conversation.

 

[Devolution]

It's part of why I don't do all the "social" networking bullcrap. Those sites just drive people away from forming real relationships with the people around them. People are generally more glued to their phone than the people eating at the restaurant sitting right beside them. It's funny that as someone who loves tech and spends so much time with computers I make an active effort to keep myself less connected than more. I'm sure there are some regions where this trend isn't true at all but it seems western culture has the worst of it.

Those sites keep me in touch with those who have moved away and makes it easy to organize events when we're all back in town. They only hinder you if you're shit at socializing in general.

 

[SolarPowered]

Don't talk to people, stalk them on facebook.
Put headphones on as soon as you leave the classroom to listen to music.
Stay inside and socialize on forums.
Regard your fellow man on the street as a hostile stranger.

This is me(without the stalking). Am I doomed?

 

[jaxword]

You're using your Facebook circle as a sample for an entire society?

Pretty sure the anti-social people that use Facebook wouldn't be all that social either way.

Reminder there's a contingency of people on gaf who literally (yes, literally) believe Facebook is a right. Like, an actual human right.

 

[Socreges]

Reminder there's a contingency of people on gaf who literally (yes, literally) believe Facebook is a right. Like, an actual human right.

How can a thing be a right?

 

[Emily Chu]

everywhere and everyone

I sell stuff on CL and I just strictly use a fake throw away email to communicate

and 4G and instant sync with email helps alot

I'm on the train or a bus or just about anywhere

even the GAF meetups during the down times are basically just this

and it's why NeoPAF exist atm

it's way more personal and ubiquitous then gaming consoles will ever be

 

[Devolution]

everywhere and everyone

I sell stuff on CL and I just strictly use a fake throw away email to communicate

and 4G and instant sync with email helps alot

I'm on the train or a bus or just about anywhere

even the GAF meetups during the down times are basically just this

Your gaf meet-ups.

=p

 

[perfectchaos007]

We are. I didn't realize it until I visited one of my friends who lives in the country-side. Everyone who drove by the house when we were outside waved and said hello. In the city no one does that. Everyone in the cities are too self centered and are only interested in smelling their own farts. You'll only get approached by someone who thinks they will be able to get something from you.

 

[Mully]

Those sites keep me in touch with those who have moved away and makes it easy to organize events when we're all back in town. They only hinder you if you're shit at socializing in general.

It may be easier to organize events, but I think it's just as easy to grab a pen and pad, and then make a few phone calls. Our parents had a pretty easy time getting large groups of people together for a night out or a high school reunion. Plus making a phone call is more personal than looking at a friend's photo album and writing on a wall.

 

[jaxword]

How can a thing be a right?

Well, access to Facebook.

 

[mrkgoo]

Uh, it's easier than ever to be social, and I feel like everyone I know is more social than ever. It's possible to go out everyday if you want if you have a wide enough range of friends and a way to contact them by text or some online medium. I know some friends that do that, and I know I could too if I had the endurance for that sort of frequent socializing.


Every time I see something like this, I feel like it's the ranting of a person that isn't very social anyway and is just looking for something to blame for their own problems in making connections.

Really interesting point. And a weird timing for me as I joined Facebook today.

For the longest time I avoided joining out of some strange way of avoiding social contact. I felt I didn't want to connect with others in this fashion nor participate and contribute in such a social context.

Out of all my friends and family, I was more or less the only one not to be part of that network. I wasn't a snob of Facebook for the sake of it nor completely ignorant of what it is. I just felt like it 'wasn't for me'.

But then it was pointed out to me that not being a part of Facebook was like those people who feel like they could use a cellphone ('oh I don't want to be reached whenever an wherever') or the more modern equivalent people who don't feel they need a smartphone ('bah, all I need is a phone that can make calls and texts!').

People know what these technologies are and what they do, but don't really know what it can do FOR THEM. To fully understand them you have to mix in that magic mystery ingredient - you.

And it was like that with me for Facebook. While I didn't particularly take pride in not using it, I realised I didn't want to be 'that guy snubbing facebook'. I had my reasons (excuses?), but they were more about me than Facebook.

I realise that Facebook is the modern hub of social. It's where everyone resides. To not be part of it, is to not be a part of today. To be yelling at that cloud to get off my lawn. So I joined.

Not being part of 'that social media bullcrap' is to be left out. Social media has kept me in contact with people I otherwise wouldn't. In that vein, Facebook is like any other - merely a tool to interact. What you do with it isn't a reflection of the tool, but a reflection of yourself.

Social is changing, for better or worse, whether you like it or not. As I imagine it always has and always will be. What did telephones do for social?

 

[Messofanego]

"I mean, nobody talks about anything anymore. They just regurgitate everything they see on TV, or hear on the radio, or watch on the web. When was the last time you had a real conversation with someone without somebody texting, or looking at a screen or monitor over your head. You know, conversation about something that wasn't celebrities, gossip, sports, or pop politics. Something important, something personal." (God Bless America)

 

[Devolution]

It may be easier to organize events, but I think it's just as easy to grab a pen and pad, and then make a few phone calls. Our parents had a pretty easy time getting large groups of people together for a night out or a high school reunion.

Some of my friends are hard to get in touch with on the phone and it's easier to leave a text or invite them all to some FB group. Whomever isn't on FB much I call with the phone so I do both. Basically the technology isn't keeping people from being social, it's an excuse. I know scores of social people who use FB constantly, it's all about how you spend your time.

 

[stolin]

Read that book.. and this one as well. They will help give you historical perspective on what's going on and why you are asking these questions.

Digital Vertigo: How Today's Online Social Revolution Is Dividing, Diminishing, and Disorienting Us

 

[Emily Chu]

while this may all be true,

you can rip that laptop ,tablet, smartphone from my cold dead hands........

 

[Ninja Scooter]

"I mean, nobody talks about anything anymore. They just regurgitate everything they see on TV, or hear on the radio, or watch on the web. When was the last time you had a real conversation with someone without somebody texting, or looking at a screen or monitor over your head. You know, conversation about something that wasn't celebrities, gossip, sports, or pop politics. Something important, something personal." (God Bless America)

Is there any reason to believe things haven't always been like this? Or do people think in the 1960s everybody talked like it was an episode of Mad Men?

 

[Mully]

Some of my friends are hard to get in touch with on the phone and it's easier to leave a text or invite them all to some FB group. Whomever isn't on FB much I call with the phone so I do both. Basically the technology isn't keeping people from being social, it's an excuse. I know scores of social people who use FB constantly, it's all about how you spend your time.

Very true. It's how you use it to communicate. However, wouldn't you agree that people are abusing it to a point of where they become mindless to what people are saying to one another?

I mean how many times in the past year have you seen a person get upset at another for not listening or being empathetic? I normally don't use anecdotal or personal evidence in an argument, but it's getting worse as each year passes in my experience. We're becoming friends who look down at phones first to find the answers than looking at a person's face.

 

[DiscoJer]

Rick Springfield predicted this in the early 1980s in his song, "Human Touch"

"Everybody's talking to computers, they're all dancing to a drum machine"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo0uTu2uLtI

(Warning, apparently that video is presented in Bieber-vision, with pictures of him surrounding the video window for some reason)

 

[SMT]

You and Philip Zimbardo think alike.

 

[squidyj]

Is there any reason to believe things haven't always been like this? Or do people think in the 1960s everybody talked like it was an episode of Mad Men?

Way back in the day everyone would talk about the latest installment of whatever serial they were reading. It was sort of like television.

 

[Zekes!]

The people around me all seem to remain extremely social. I on the other, hand...well, I can count the times I've hung out with people over the last 3-4 months on one hand. I seem to be inept at establishing relationships with people, despite my attempts.

 

[Persona7]

I blame the smart phones

 

[Zee-Row]

Just like socializing ,People can't even rent movies at Blockbuster or Redbox because its inconvenient to them , they have to stream everything. Even getting up to put in a disk is too much trouble. Once someone invents a device where you don't have to get up anymore to take a shit or a piss society will begin to collapse.

 

[Cyrillus]

Today I decided I wanted to make a change and be more social, but no one on Facebook wants to hang out. What gives, GAF?

 

[jaxword]

Today I decided I wanted to make a change and be more social, but no one on Facebook wants to hang out. What gives, GAF?

Start a protest for your right to use facebook and be invited to facebook events.

 

[squidyj]

everywhere and everyone

I sell stuff on CL and I just strictly use a fake throw away email to communicate

and 4G and instant sync with email helps alot

I'm on the train or a bus or just about anywhere

even the GAF meetups during the down times are basically just this

and it's why NeoPAF exist atm

it's way more personal and ubiquitous then gaming consoles will ever be

I don't even think there's been a Calgary GAF meetup....

 

[apocalidiot]

You and Philip Zimbardo think alike.

That dude is a crazy motherfucker

 

[big_z]

i have a handful of friends that suffer from this affliction. they went from social to spending their time living vicariously through the internet. the odd times you get them out they constantly check their phone and it's not long before they're glued to it and zoned out. the thing that pisses me off the most is when they complain about being bored or ask why we never do anything. makes you want to crush a windpipe.

It's you. People still go out and shit.

they go out find a place and pull out the phone to browse facebook.

Just like socializing ,People can't even rent movies at Blockbuster or Redbox because its inconvenient to them , they have to stream everything. Even getting up to put in a disk is too much trouble. Once someone invents a device where you don't have to get up anymore to take a shit or a piss society will begin to collapse.

wait until VR matures and everyone can get together online only to play with their VR phones.

 

[brokenbeans]

So you're around the age that people stop getting together as often and start settling down into routines and jobs.

This is where I am, see my friends at bbq's, dinners party's, the odd lads night.

Friends are getting married now, I'll be a best man next year (wait for the, GAF I'm a best man in 48 hrs help me with a speech thread.)

Good times.

 

[Amagon]

This is where I am, see my friends at bbq's, dinners party's, the odd lads night.

Friends are getting married now, I'll be a best man next year (wait for the, GAF I'm a best man in 48 hrs help me with a speech thread.)

Good times.

My best friend got married and I was the best man. Totally didn't know I was supposed to have a speech ready and just pulled a speech out of my ass during the reception like no other, hahaha. Thank god it was only about 12-15 people that heard my rhetoric, though it went better than I though.

 

[Rice-Eater]

This is where I am, see my friends at bbq's, dinners party's, the odd lads night.

Friends are getting married now, I'll be a best man next year (wait for the, GAF I'm a best man in 48 hrs help me with a speech thread.)

Good times.

Same here, from my teens to mid 20s I was around my friends several times a week almost all the time. All nighters during weekends were very common even in our mid 20s. I'm 29 now and the frequency that we use to see each other every week is now a thing of the past. Most of the guys I grew up with are married now and several even have kids. The same guys I would see 3-5 times a week, I may not see them for weeks or even months at a time now. Basically it's only planned get togethers or special occasions now. We just call each other up just to hang out anymore. I'm pretty much one of the last ones left to not get married but I'm joining them in the marriage club next year as I recently got engaged this summer. Basically that's just how it is for a lot of people out there.

 

[zoukka]

I find this to be true only for people who are heavy computer/videogame users.

 

[IHaveCandy]

I can't say facebook or other social media sites have diminished my ability to walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation.

 

[ThoughtsOfSpeaking]

I thought this as well but really all social networking has done is move things sideways.

people are just as open to talking to strangers as they have ever been, but you just have to break through the maze a little more.

 

[Canis lupus]

It was like this for a long time. In Western Europe its really difficult to have a conversation with total strangers on public transport for instance.

 

[AdventureRacing]

Try talking to someone at a coffee shop, on the train or bus or pretty much any gathering of people that isn't explicitly meant for socialising. Most people simply aren't interested and often times will just be plain rude to you for even attempting to do so.

Thankfully there are still plenty of places to socialise and i make plenty of friends doing that but i do find it interesting.

 

[MidgarBlowedUp]

Philip Zimbardo.

That man is awesome.

 

[Typhoon_Ex]

It's not just you, it's us...

 

[GravityMan]

Nope joining clubs, going to groups, etc.. It's part of my plan in getting out there. I just noticed that people seem more less interested in developing friendships or even hanging out like they once did.

You are 28 years old...

Most people solidify their social circles by the time they finish college in their early-to-mid 20s, and afterwards they aren't all that interested in befriending new people afterwards. Sure, they may still meet you and like you but it's unlikely you'll ever amount to anything more than an acquaintance to them. Sorry. Also by people's late 20s, most people (at least 75-80%) will have found their girlfriend/boyfriend that they would eventually marry by then. And about 45% of them are already married by that age. And some have kids.

Most friendships begin while people are still kids or college-age young adults, and take time to grow.

It's not too late for you, but I'll be brutally honest here: if you want to be more social and make new friends at your age, you can certainly do so. Friendships can begin at older ages. But it's going to be an uphill climb for you. Maybe check out meetup.com...

 

[teruterubozu]

Is it just me or...ah yes, it's just me and nobody else. Good.

 

[Seanspeed]

There's a lot more quasi-friendships that exist because of Facebook but my group of friends still hang out all the time. I've probably actually been getting out more the past year or so than I have in a while, but I guess it helps that a few of my friends have moved over to my area of the city now so its more convenient.

 

[rapid32.5]

yeah, that internet is cancer to society, I hear you OP. Luckily I'm still in college even here people don't talk to each other, unless, you push them to talk to you. These are fucking terrible times nowadays, I fear for generation of my kids when that shit will truly escalate and people will be zombies with smartphones clued to their hands. There are several things that internet causes to keep in mind: depression, headaches, irritability, procrastination, laziness, lack of real friends, not feeling happy on your own, ect.

 

[Cubsfan23]

addictions to porn and facebook are to blame

they literally change your brain

 

[hachi]

Most people solidify their social circles by the time they finish college in their early-to-mid 20s, and afterwards they aren't all that interested in befriending new people afterwards. Sure, they may still meet you and like you but it's unlikely you'll ever amount to anything more than an acquaintance to them.

Most people in your experience hang around their college area? Because everyone I once knew from either undergrad or grad school is pretty well dispersed across the country for career ambitions. I can't imagine friends made during that time period to be all that central to your daily life after college, only to occasional visits.

 

[AlimNassor]

Just like socializing ,People can't even rent movies at Blockbuster or Redbox because its inconvenient to them , they have to stream everything. Even getting up to put in a disk is too much trouble. Once someone invents a device where you don't have to get up anymore to take a shit or a piss society will begin to collapse.

Blockbuster was a ripoff. I'm glad it died. I don't want to spend 7 bucks for a 3 day rental. I like redbox, I also like streaming.

We are. I didn't realize it until I visited one of my friends who lives in the country-side. Everyone who drove by the house when we were outside waved and said hello. In the city no one does that. Everyone in the cities are too self centered and are only interested in smelling their own farts. You'll only get approached by someone who thinks they will be able to get something from you.

That's always been true. My grandma is 90, said when she first went into a big city back in 1934, everyone was so rude, and it was so dirty, and she hated it and wanted to go back to her small town where everyone was nice and cared for you and knew you.

 

[coldvein]

So you're around the age that people stop getting together as often and start settling down into routines and jobs.

yep. being 28 sux ass.

 

[not_so_special]

well i can speak just for myself but

when i was young i was a very social guy,lot of parties lots of talking with people about everything

iam on my 40 and i notice how much i dont have the need to talk with many people or get bored with the same conversations again and again,even my wife noticed this on the past years

 

[CommonSense]

Hell, isn't it obvious?

Go past a ballpark, or a skate park or anything else we did when we were kids. Use to be wait to play, now at best there are 3 or 4 kids there tops.

See, when us 30+ kids were youngsters we didn't have cell phones, or pc's, or mac books, or ipads, or ipods, or video game systems that didn't think this [ ] was an apt model for a football player, tank, or airplane. Well that and our parents made us go outside and stuff. Our idea of social media was riding down the road on our bikes yelling "who wants to play football dudes?", and we fought with our fists, and had to learn how to approach women the hard way.....

So yeah, if you're sitting on your ass 5+ hours a day outside of work or school on a PC or a Sony or an Ipod....how the hell are you going to be socially acquainted?

It's just logic man......look at the goddamn cloud....get out of here cloud....

 

[Machine]

When I go out to a bar or restaurant with a friend, I'm always fascinated by the people that will be sitting at a table together all staring at their phones instead of looking at each other and talking. Why bother to go out if you're going to do the same thing you could do while taking a dump at home?