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[LordKasual]

Having preferences though, is a slippery slope. I personally don't find most black women attractive, but there are of course loads of black women I would be very happy to date if I got the chance. This is probably some sort of conditioning and institutionalized racism though, much in the same way so many white men have fetishes for asians.

or maybe people just naturally have preferences, and nobody is entitled to having everyone on earth be attracted to them

you not finding most black women attractive and going apeshit over asians is no different from, say you not finding most spicy foods appetizing and going apeshit over hard sweets

 

[batrush]

It's not racist at all. I don't like how black women look, talk or dress. White CITY women are a mental mess.

Non-black and non-asian countryside (or not-from-the-city) girls are the true path to happiness.

jam packed post here

 

[mckmas8808]

Refusing to date people of a certain race is not a preference, its a declaration.

I could perfer whatever set of characteristics in a desirable partner without making exclusionary statements that dont accurrately define the broad group I'm discriminating against.



What does a statement "I refuse to date black people" mean to you?

What about being black is the one defining characteristic that makes it an accurate description of every black person.

I guess I'm looking at it from the opposite direction. Which would be "I LOVE people of my race so much, that I refuse to date people of another race."

That to me isn't racist at all. But I guess if he specified one race or so, I'd question him to explain some things that could lead to him revealing that it is racist.

 

[valeu]

often people say they aren’t attracted to other races or wouldn’t date other races because they are afraid of what their racist / traditional family or friends would say, but in private they are attracted to attractive people, regardless of the race

 

[LordKasual]

often people say they aren't attracted to other races or wouldn't date other races because they are afraid of what their racist / traditional family or friends would say, but in private they are attracted to attractive people, regardless of the race

yo this is the whole, real fucking truth

I've talked to so many asian chicks who've just flat-out said their parents don't fully approve of them dating black guys

 

[Doc_Drop]

What if you would avoid dating people of the same race or ONLY dating people of the same race?

Why make dating decisions based on race?

 

[MazeHaze]

It's not racist at all. I don't like how black women look, talk or dress. White CITY women are a mental mess.

Non-black and non-asian countryside (or not-from-the-city) girls are the true path to happiness.

Hate to break it to you, but You're super fucking racist. Not even diet-racist, like full on Donald Trump.

 

[Sheentak]

Don't get this I'd date any race.

 

[mckmas8808]

What cultural experience are you refering to?

- I've taken my wife's braids out of her hair (and also weave)

- expressing what I felt when I first watch the Malcolm X movie for the first time in 1995.

- explaining what it's like to feel when I go to a party with mostly white people and they expect me to "dance" on demand just because I have rhythm

- ETC ETC ETC

 

[Izuna]

It's not racist or BS at all! People are allowed to have preferences.

Okay, let me address this for you.

"I don't find X people attractive" -- cool story bro, I mean, you probably haven't seen many but okay.

"I will never date X" -- racist.

Why? People there are people here who have their preferences which is despite physical attraction.

For example, my Cuban colleague, who is mulatto (looks like my brother actually) -- dark father, white mother. His grandmother on his mother's side said to him "don't marry a black girl, it'll degrade the race".

And for what reason is that? It isn't merely because of the skin colour, it's everything else that comes with it. The racist BS that comes with it.

Which comes to the whole "I'd date X but I'd only marry Y" which is extremely prevalent.

Because if this were about preferences, no one lists all the things they find unattractive. Like, "I don't like too many moles, people with this feature, people who are short, people who are (dot dot dot)". So why is there ever a need to just say "I don't like X race, full stop." It isn't about attraction, it's all the other prejudice shit where "preferences" just boils down to "I don't like those people".

Especially when we get into how "black" is some broad as fuck term, which includes light-skin girls and yet there are guys who won't date them but will salivate over some bed-tanned white girl with her eyebrows on fleek.

--

SMH, the lot of you.

 

[Earthbound64]

What if you would avoid dating people of the same race or ONLY dating people of the same race?

What if this was already discussed ad nauseam in this topic?

or maybe people just naturally have preferences, and nobody is entitled to having everyone on earth be attracted to them

That's not what this thread is about, though...

 

[Nafai1123]

The way I see it:

Preferences=fine
Blanket refusal=racist

 

[Temeculan3000]

Poe's Law strikes again. Or did it?

Off topic summed up.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

The total of asian women I've met so far in my life, or seen in media. Everyone is influenced by that.

That doesn't guide what Asian people actually look like. That guides your ideal of an Asian. That's fine but it literally stand in contrast with the entire premise of the argument which is that these racial constructs don't actually inform looks

I simply met more asian women I was attracted to than black women and therefore made a conclusion regarding my personal preferences. Mind blowing I know.

My point eas never about which you have met more of and liked. I don't care. My point was that race is not informed by a set of features. Features are not owned by a race.

To the bolded: That's why I talked about ethnicies and not race.

Ethnicity and race are two very different things. You can't mix black asian race and ethnicity and pretend like you've made a point. One country can have people of several ethnicities in it who would still all fall under the banner of what is or isn't Asian or Black or whatever. There are countries in Africa that have people of several different ethnicities despite still sharing what is the same boarders. Saying ethnicity isn't saying anything.

There is also a diverese set of features found in black people. And white people. And hispanic people. All people. That's why I said I can be attracted to a black person no problem, It's just not as likely to happen as say me being attracted to an asian person, due to my preferences.

Again, I don't get what these preferences have to do with race when its a social construct. What do you not get about this? Race informs 0 of what a person looks like. Features describe people and features are not race specific for obvious reasons.

When you fail at reading and act like you have some high ground the sentence after I don't feel like adressing anything you say anymore. Feel free to call me a racist because of that though if that makes you happy.

At no point have I said you were racist. Stop crying.

 

[Derwind]

I guess I'm looking at it from the opposite direction. Which would be "I LOVE people of my race so much, that I refuse to date people of another race."

That to me isn't racist at all. But I guess if he specified one race or so, I'd question him to explain some things that could lead to him revealing that it is racist.

I don't know, to me a statement like that sounds like someone could fulfill everything that could make you imagine being with them, except their race is the factor.

I'm not trying to make a judgement on you personally when I say that statement sounds a bit racist.

 

[Mattlikewhoa]

It's not racist at all. I don't like how black women look, talk or dress. White CITY women are a mental mess.

Non-black and non-asian countryside (or not-from-the-city) girls are the true path to happiness.

This isn't a loaded post at all...

 

[mckmas8808]

You have literally no idea what any individual's life experience is. If you're uncomfortable with gaining an understanding of your prospective partner's life then you'll have relationship issues no matter who you're with.

Someone's cultural background should not be a disqualifying feature, Jesus Christ.

YES it can! You have no right to tell someone else what they should or shouldn't care about when it comes to wanting to date someone.

It may not be the number one reason, but it can be in someone's top 5. It's was always in my top 5.

 

[Izuna]

It's not racist at all. I don't like how black women look, talk or dress. White CITY women are a mental mess.

Non-black and non-asian countryside (or not-from-the-city) girls are the true path to happiness.

Is it not racist because it involves you?

Is that why?

Thanks for coming in here and sharing your thoughts on black women. Especially on how they all talk and dress.

 

[Fercho]

YES it can! .

I'm curious, what kind of cultural background is a big no no in your book. Honest question.

 

[Hesemonni]

Is this a ban bait thread?

 

[Doc_Drop]

Is this a ban bait thread?

Haven't seen any bans so far. Either people are being civil or there are people afraid of saying what they really mean.

 

[Bill R Boggess]

It is strange from my perspective as a white male because I personally haven’t encountered any ethnicity where I don’t find the women physically attractive so I can’t relate to or understand how somebody could be entirely unwilling to date any one specific group of people.

For example, while African American women generally aren’t my “type” in the broadest sense, I have seen and met countless black women who are gorgeous and who I find very attractive. Women who – were I single – I would most certainly consider dating.

Maybe your friend should consider WHY he feels this way. Sometimes a little bit of introspection can go a long way in helping us mine and uncover latent, unconscious bigotry.

 

[Wamb0wneD]

That doesn't guide what Asian people actually look like. That guides your ideal of an Asian. That's fine but it literally stand in contrast with the entire premise of the argument which is that these racial constructs don't actually inform looks

No it's not my "ideal of an Asian." It's the total sum of my visual experiences with people who look like they have roots in some place of Asia.

My point eas never about which you have met more of and liked. I don't care. My point was that race is not informed by a set of features. Features are not owned by a race.

That was my point though. I never acted like I know how every asian person looked.

Ethnicity and race are two very different things. You can't mix black asian race and ethnicity and pretend like you've made a point.

Exactly. Maybe I'm tired but could you point out where I talked about race? I didn't mix anything.

Again, I don't get what these preferences have to do with race when its a social construct. What do you not get about this? Race informs 0 of what a person looks like. Features describe people and features are not race specific for obvious reasons.

Features are ethnicy specific though, at least somewhat. But I guess you know that already.

At no point have I said you were racist. Stop crying.

The person you originally quoted was insinuating that people who talk about preferences are just looking for loopholes to not have to aknowledge that they are racist.
Which is wrong.
Stop being so fucking condescending then.

 

[darscot]

I would not say this is racism for sure but it very well could be. It also could just be a little ignorance or lack of information. I have thought before that I do not find a certain group of people attractive. I would not draw it on racial lines but its not far off. When your exposed to North American TV, the image of a black women is almost always mixed or fair. In my head a real black women was from national geographic and I didn't find that attractive. That doesn't make me racist it makes me ignorant. I went on a trip to Africa and then you see the true variation and realise there are plenty of beautiful black women that don't fit the standard mold that is pushed at you. I had a friend that didn't like Asian women till he came and visited me in Japan then lost his mind. He just didn't know what was out there. If you from some little town and you only see whats pushed at you by media. I can understand someone saying they would or would not date this or that and I could give them the benefit of the doubt on racism. If you're from a major city or traveled and you still say shit like that then you're racist.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

I don't date the race

Spoiler

ists.

 

[Haly]

or maybe people just naturally have preferences, and nobody is entitled to having everyone on earth be attracted to them

1. Naturalism fallacy

2. Just because you’re not aware of how you arrived at such and such set of “preferences”, it does not follow that you must have been born with them. The term for this is internalization.

 

[Izuna]

Haven't seen any bans so far. Either people are being civil or there are people afraid of saying what they really mean.

Lol

 

[John Rabbit]

I’ve never been attracted to anyone that wasn’t latina. I guess I’m just ultra racist

Trump ain’t got shit on me

Do you see white/black/asian women with features you normally find attractive but because of their race you immediately dismiss them?

 

[ResidentWeevil13]

It's not racist at all. I don't like how black women look, talk or dress. White CITY women are a mental mess.

Non-black and non-asian countryside (or not-from-the-city) girls are the true path to happiness.

What. The. Fuck.

Is this a joke post?

 

[excelsiorlef]

Here's a secret... if you don''t want to be judged for somehow finding entire races undateable/unattractive.... don't volunteer that information. Very few people actually give a shit what you find attractive in general, so live your life, refuse to date whatever races you want to refuse to date and no one will be the wiser...


That 's what you get to do.... What you don't get to do is let everyone know that you won't date the races you won't date and not be called racist.

 

[Onivulk]

Saying you won't date men - cool

Saying you won't date men with red hair - cool

Saying you won't date short men - cool

Saying you won't date handicapped men - cool

Saying you won't date men with an accent - cool

Saying you won't date Asian men - You fucking scallywag

You can have preferences and not be racist. You can't force someone to be attracted to somebody in the same way you can't change someone's sexuality.

 

[Messofanego]

I don't like blondes

 

[mckmas8808]

Okay, let me address this for you.

"I don't find X people attractive" -- cool story bro, I mean, you probably haven't seen many but okay.

"I will never date X" -- racist.

Why? People there are people here who have their preferences which is despite physical attraction.

For example, my Cuban colleague, who is mulatto (looks like my brother actually) -- dark father, white mother. His grandmother on his mother's side said to him "don't marry a black girl, it'll degrade the race".

And for what reason is that? It isn't merely because of the skin colour, it's everything else that comes with it. The racist BS that comes with it.

Which comes to the whole "I'd date X but I'd only marry Y" which is extremely prevalent.

Because if this were about preferences, no one lists all the things they find unattractive. Like, "I don't like too many moles, people with this feature, people who are short, people who are (dot dot dot)". So why is there ever a need to just say "I don't like X race, full stop." It isn't about attraction, it's all the other prejudice shit where "preferences" just boils down to "I don't like those people".

Especially when we get into how "black" is some broad as fuck term, which includes light-skin girls and yet there are guys who won't date them but will salivate over some bed-tanned white girl with her eyebrows on fleek.

--

SMH, the lot of you.

I feel you on this. I really do. I'm married and I'm black. My wife is black. So I'm good. But in general, I've always been attracted to all white of literally all races. But personally I would only want to marry black. Now of course because of how America is that black woman could be 50% white, Dominican, Jamaican, etc but here they black lol.

The reason I've always felt that way is because all the important women in my life that I've known and loved were black women in my family. And also due to how this country is, life will ALWAYS be easier for me to be with a black women who can understand my struggle or thoughts on things.

Plus, I just looooove the way black skin looks when the sun hits it lol.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

No it's not my "ideal of an Asian." It's the total sum of my visual experiences with people who look like they have roots in some place of Asia.

This is ultimately semantics. Having roots in Asia defines a broad demographic of people. Yes, through seeing people who are Asian I too have a very basic idea of how I would identify someone who is Asian. But it doesn't guide anything about actual looks. I can tell when someone is white or black too bit its a very very broad scope. It doesn't inform taste for obvious reasons.

That was my point though. I never acted like I know how every asian person looked.

Sure

Exactly. Maybe I'm tired but could you point out where I talked about race? I didn't mix anything.

How about you just explain by what you mean by ethnicity instead. This entire thread is about race. You drop ethnicity one time out of context and you're acting like you have suddenly shone enlightenment. Just explain what you mean.

Features are ethnicy specific though, at least somewhat. But I guess you know that already.

The extent isn't vast and not vast enough that in the context of this thread and what we have been talking about really matters. Do you think "I prefer light skin ethnicities (already shaky shit) " suddenly changes the context of this discussion? It's prettt disingenuous.

The person you originally quoted was insinuating that people who talk about preferences are just looking for loopholes to not have to aknowledge that they are racist.
Which is wrong.
Stop being so fucking condescending then.

One, so if I didnt call you racist why did you pull up that stupid "call me a racist like you want to" bullshit? That shit is suspect because it informs that this discussion or anything I have said to you is a personal attack. I don't give a shit whether you do or do not like X, Y, Z race. So if you haven't been called something dont do that "you're the true racist" bullshit. This is a tactic racist people use.

And like I said, when we have this discussion there is a thin line between preference and racism for the average person. The average person doesn't even believe that their preference have the ability to be shaped by a society thay very obviously does have and exhibit racial biases. For example, if you don't like dark skin how are you going to ignore social, historical and classist realities and classify this as preference more than environment?

There is preference but the vast bulk of the time the people arguing it (and I'm not talking about solely this thread) are not even able to acknowledge that much of this is environment and not I'm a special independent snowflake. That is the point we have been making for literal pages.

 

[TickleMeElbow]

It blows my mind when people's preferences are super narrow. Not only when it comes to race, but also hair color, eye color, skin tone, etc. Even fashion sense. I've seen so many beautiful people of all races, hair types, skin tones, body types, and fashion styles. I really can't empathize with having such narrow standards at all. It really makes me wonder where it comes from.

 

[Nafai1123]

Saying you won't date men - cool

Saying you won't date men with red hair - cool

Saying you won't date short men - cool

Saying you won't date handicapped men - cool

Saying you won't date men with an accent - cool

Saying you won't date Asian men - You fucking scallywag

You can have preferences and not be racist. You can't force someone to be attracted to somebody in the same way you can't change someone's sexuality.

Uh, I don't think most of those things are "cool"

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

Denouncing a whole race without meeting every person of that race is indeed, racist. How do you know there won't be someone of X race you'd date? Have you met everyone?

If that's not enough for you, why wouldn't you date a person of that race? Can you explain why without using a racist reason? If your explanation starts with "because all X people are/do/look," it's racist.

 

[Onivulk]

Uh, I don't think most of those things are "cool"

I don't personally think any of it is cool either but people say these things all the time and it's accepted.

 

[acohrs]

This thread is still going??

 

[Sai-kun]

Saying you won't date men - cool

Saying you won't date men with red hair - cool

Saying you won't date short men - cool

Saying you won't date handicapped men - cool

Saying you won't date men with an accent - cool

Saying you won't date Asian men - You fucking scallywag

You can have preferences and not be racist. You can't force someone to be attracted to somebody in the same way you can't change someone's sexuality.

not dating someone who's handicapped is kind of ableist, i would say. 'handicapped' could mean thousands of things, and it's kind of a weird thing to single out.

if your preferences include excluding an entire group of people from your dating pool because of their race, you're a fucking racist lol. just own it.

 

[Earthbound64]

This thread is still going??

Yes.

 

[Doc_Drop]

I don't personally think any of it is cool either but people say these things all the time and it's accepted.

Maybe by arseholes

 

[Seesaw15]

Yes.

We have this thread a few times a year.
People get defensive and say having a preference isn't racist. People respond that institutionalized racism informs preferences. People get more defensive. 2 pages in people start posting pictures of hot black women. Thread closes.

Where are you sexy picture poster?

"Come on!" he muttered, staring about. "Where are you? Dad Sexy Picture Poster, come on —"

But no one came. Harry raised his head to look at the circle of dementors diet racist across the lake thread. One of them was lowering its hood. It was time for the rescuer to appear — but no one was coming to help this time —

And then it hit him — he understood. He hadn't seen his fatherSexy Picture Poster — he had seen himself —

Harry flung himself out from behind the bush and pulled out his wand keyboard.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!""PELLEM FORMOSAM!" he yelled.

This threads a garbage fire at this point. It blows my mind that this question warranted 20 pages of "discussion". Sorry Black Girl Gaf we don't deserve you.

 

[Earthbound64]

not dating someone who's handicapped is kind of ableist, i would say. 'handicapped' could mean thousands of things, and it's kind of a weird thing to single out.

You'd be surprised how many people's dating profiles say they won't date anyone without a car.
Like, I'm seriously tempted to just buy a cheap junker car and leave it in a parking space, despite the fact that I am medically unable to drive.

 

[Two Words]

Saying you won't date men - cool

Saying you won't date men with red hair - cool

Saying you won't date short men - cool

Saying you won't date handicapped men - cool

Saying you won't date men with an accent - cool

Saying you won't date Asian men - You fucking scallywag

You can have preferences and not be racist. You can't force someone to be attracted to somebody in the same way you can't change someone's sexuality.

Don’t set up this false premise by assuming what people are “cool” with.

 

[dickroach]

You'd be surprised how many people's dating profiles say they won't date anyone without a car.
Like, I'm seriously tempted to just buy a cheap junker car and leave it in a parking space, despite the fact that I am medically unable to drive.

"ay girl wanna come over to my parking space?"

 

[John Rabbit]

Don’t set up this false premise by assuming what people are “cool” with.

You mean to tell me being homosexual isn't the same as being racist?

 

[Llyranor]

Saying you won't date men - cool

Saying you won't date men with red hair - cool

Saying you won't date short men - cool

Saying you won't date handicapped men - cool

Saying you won't date men with an accent - cool

Saying you won't date Asian men - You fucking scallywag

You can have preferences and not be racist. You can't force someone to be attracted to somebody in the same way you can't change someone's sexuality.

Let's see.

Well, hair is just hair. What if you met the perfect guy but his hair was red? Complete deal-breaker or negotiable? People can dye it, whatever.

Prejudice against shorter men. It's a preference, sure, but absolutely prejudiced. What's the cutoff? What if you met the right guy until you realize later on (not at the time, of course, since you didn't bring your ruler then) that he was 1-2 inches below your cutoff?

Prejudice against handicapped people. Well, it's definitely a prejudice. In any case, what if they were just missing a little toe? What would consider a handicap to make such a blanket statement?

Against accents? Well, I mean, people find some accents more attractive than others, I guess.

No Asian men? Well, I guess it's just a preference as well, but admittedly influenced by a prejudice based specifically on race. Too bad there's no proper term to define racial prejudice. What if you thought some guy was Hawaiian and you really had the hots for him but then you realized he was part-Asian? (true GAF story)

 

[Onivulk]

not dating someone who's handicapped is kind of ableist, i would say. 'handicapped' could mean thousands of things, and it's kind of a weird thing to single out.

if your preferences include excluding an entire group of people from your dating pool because of their race, you're a fucking racist lol. just own it.

Okay the handicapped thing is dumb you got me.

What I'm getting at is that the general opinion is you can have dozens of reasons that are out of someone's control for not dating them but, there's a line drawn at race.

Race governs a lot of the physical appearance of a person and maybe I'm just shallow but I would only date someone I'm attracted to physically

 

[mckmas8808]

I'm curious, what kind of cultural background is a big no no in your book. Honest question.

It's not about her cultural background that I would be against. I'm more super PRO my black background. Relationships can be tough man. So relating to each other on certain levels really means something to me.

To be honest I also feel the same way when it comes to religion. I wouldn't have dated a Muslim or Buddist woman for alot of the same reasons. It's not me being anti-muslim, it's more me being pro-Christiany and I'd want that significant other to share that with me.

I don't know, to me a statement like that sounds like someone could fulfill everything that could make you imagine being with them, except their race is the factor.

I'm not trying to make a judgement on you personally when I say that statement sounds a bit racist.

I take no offense to your comment, but you have to stop and think what can happen to a huge black kid's mind when he finds out about racism through the lens of the Rodney King beating and then how those 4 white cops got away with it. Then seeing and understanding the history of this nation and other nations when it comes to race (i.e. with black people).

There's some things I always wanted a kinship with when it came to finding a significant other. Being black was one of them. But that's not me every being anti-white or any other race.