Is refusing to date people of certain races racist?

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You'd be surprised how many people's dating profiles say they won't date anyone without a car.
Like, I'm seriously tempted to just buy a cheap junker car and leave it in a parking space, despite the fact that I am medically unable to drive.

Have you attempted to engage with those people and explained at some point that you're unable to drive?

I don't live in a city where having a car is a necessity but I could understand wanting a potential partner to be able to get themselves around if I lived in an area/city where it was more required.

I'm not defending it, I just wonder if that stems from ableism, living in a wide-spread town/city, or even something super vain like thinking owning a car is a symbol of status.

Okay the handicapped thing is dumb you got me.

What I'm getting at is that the general opinion is you can have dozens of reasons that are out of someone's control for not dating them but, there's a line drawn at race.

Race governs a lot of the physical appearance of a person and maybe I'm just shallow but I would only date someone I'm attracted to physically

But while race governs a lot of our appearance, 'race' is also a construct of our society and 'latino' people can look like fucking anything, almost. If I had a dollar for every time I was mistaken for Indian, Chinese, Japanese, arab, Filipino, the list goes on...I'd be fucking rich.

Being a certain race does not mean you are going to look a certain way 100% of the time. That's why saying "I would never date a black girl because she's black" is dumb as fuck, because black women are an insanely huge spectrum of appearances in almost every aspect.
 
Where are you sexy picture poster?




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This threads a garbage fire at this point. It blows my mind that this question warranted 20 pages of "discussion". Sorry Black Girl Gaf we don't deserve you.
Coconut water is the worst.
 
Have you attempted to engage with those people and explained at some point that you're unable to drive?

I don't live in a city where having a car is a necessity but I could understand wanting a potential partner to be able to get themselves around if I lived in an area/city where it was more required.

I'm not defending it, I just wonder if that stems from ableism, living in a wide-spread town/city, or even something super vain like thinking owning a car is a symbol of status.

Yup - in general the type of people who put something like that in their profile (sorry for generalizing - just my experiences) don't particularly care what your reasons are.

As far as why people put it, I have a feeling it's more of a "I want someone who's not a lazy useless bum" than any sort of logistical reason.
Because, you know, having a beat-up junker car really tells the world that someone isn't a lazy useless bum.
And they're not interested in any other examples of you not being a lazy, useless bum - the fact that you don't have a car means you are, no discussion.

But again, in general, the people who put that kind of thing I find aren't really worth my time anyway (again, sorry for generalizing, but just what I've encountered)


"ay girl wanna come over to my parking space?"

You know it bby ;)
 
I don't personally think any of it is cool either but people say these things all the time and it's accepted.

Honest question for the thread. Why does it matter if certain people don't want to date someone that's the same gender, or certain hair color, or certain height, etc?

Shouldn't the thing that actually matters is if they respect those people and treat them with kindness? Like is it really a bad thing that their preference is narrower than yours?
 
Okay the handicapped thing is dumb you got me.

What I'm getting at is that the general opinion is you can have dozens of reasons that are out of someone's control for not dating them but, there's a line drawn at race.

Race governs a lot of the physical appearance of a person and maybe I'm just shallow but I would only date someone I'm attracted to physically
Because it is a prejudice based SPECIFICALLY ON RACE.

If you're going to claim it's all about the physical attributes, then the attributes. Don't make a dumb blanket statement about a race of billion people that don't even all share those physical attributes.
 
Have you attempted to engage with those people and explained at some point that you're unable to drive?

I don't live in a city where having a car is a necessity but I could understand wanting a potential partner to be able to get themselves around if I lived in an area/city where it was more required.

I'm not defending it, I just wonder if that stems from ableism, living in a wide-spread town/city, or even something super vain like thinking owning a car is a symbol of status.

More like...how are they going to pick up the children or drive the children places when I cannot? Unless you live in a big city, then it's just not feasible for me to date someone who does not drive a car.
 
Honest question for the thread. Why does it matter if certain people don't want to date someone that's the same gender, or certain hair color, or certain height, etc?

Shouldn't the thing that actually matters is if they respect those people and treat them with kindness? Like is it really a bad thing that their preference is narrower than yours?

That was the question idk. I just think it's different for a person to say they aren't attracted to a certain race and hating an entire race.

I have never found a red-headed woman attractive. I don't think less of people with red hair. That's the real me.
 
That was the question idk. I just think it's different for a person to say they aren't attracted to a certain race and hating an entire race.

I have never found a red-headed woman attractive. I don't think less of people with red hair. That's the real me.
So you are prejudiced against red hair or haven't looked hard enough/seen enough women
 
Anyone that says this is full of shit, anyways. Whatever their reason, there will always be at least one person of that race that doesn't fit into the reason.
 
TBH I think "I'm not attracted to x people" is pretty racist too. Or rather, I'm having a tough time figuring out when that kind of statement isn't racist.

How is it fundamentally different from saying "I'm not attracted to people shorter/taller than me?" Everyone has their own standards of beauty/attractiveness.
 
I’m really interested in what this “””””debate””””” will look like in 40 years time when mixed race/designer babies are the norm.
 
How is it fundamentally different from saying "I'm not attracted to people shorter/taller than me?" Everyone has their own standards of beauty/attractiveness.

But "I'm not attracted to people shorter/taller than me" is fucking stupid too. If your attraction to people isn't based on each individual you meet, I don't know what the fuck you're up to, because I just can't fathom how it can be any other way.

Sure, you might notice a pattern like "I tend to be attracted to skinny people" or shit like that, but when you state it in a prescriptive manner, you come off like an asshole.
 
I think the pictures of attractive women of color misses the point here. As a dude who has dated women from the entire rainbow sometimes the issue is cultural--parents don't approve and it's internalized. Heck, it happens with religions as well. Even some more secular Jews, who don't practice their religion conventionally, show a preference for in-group dating.

So yes refusing based on race is racists. However, looking at it from a physical attractive perspective is only small part of the issue.
 
wat?

It's racist but you also don't find "most" black women attractive? Lol.

You can't call people out for preferences whilst stating you have preferences.

I meant it in the sense that preferences are common, but also a slippery slope since they can be very much based on institutionalized racism.

I'm not really calling anyone out on having preferences.
 
You know, not all Asians look like Yellow Peril or WW2 propaganda.

I suppose I dug my own hole here. But im attracted to Asian people. I have heard someone say "I don't find Asians attractive" and while I thought they were fucking crazy, I didn't think they were filled with hate either.
 
Yeah.
I mean, sure everyone has a type and preferences and stuff like that. But refusing to date a person because of their race just seems wrong.

So you meet this nice, good looking girl/guy that has a lot in common with you and that you enjoy hanging out with but will refuse to date them because they are black/white/asian/etc ?
 
I suppose I dug my own hole here. But im attracted to Asian people. I have heard someone say "I don't find Asians attractive" and while I thought they were fucking crazy, I didn't think they were filled with hate either.
But they were most likely racist
 
The problem is that far too many people nowadays are equating preference with sexual identity, when they AREN'T the same fucking thing. You might prefer blondes, or red-heads, or whatever, but you can't say that you "don't find X color hair attractive." Like...that's just complete bullshit. There are unequivocally people with that color hair that you'd find attractive, because attraction is more than hair-color, or skin-color, and no matter how much you try to tell yourself that is the case, it's not.

People nowadays keep trying to tell themselves they are in control of their id. They aren't.
 
Yes it is.

He’s also generalizing an entire race of people based off of his narrow viewpoint.

I used to be afraid to date white women. Not because I didn’t find them attractive, but I was afraid if what my family would think if I dated a mom-black person.

I ended up marrying a white woman, and we’ve been together for nearly 14 years now.

I love everyone. Doesn’t matter your skin color, background, or religious/lack of religious beliefs (I’m Christian, my wife is atheist). If you’re a human being that I click with, that’s all that matters. I can’t even imagine singling out a particular race as “not my cup of tea,” for nebulous “reasons.” I also think the reality of beauty standards being so heavily Eurocentric plays a large role into people, even subconsciously, shying away from dating a woman of color.

Black women are gorgeous, from the darkest shade to the brightest. Women are beautiful. It took me a while to recognize bias in beauty standards, but I’m glad I did young. Man, I’d have missed out on some amazing relationships if I had dismissed those women because of race.
 
is it ok to refuse to date someone that has terminal illness or lifelong illness(whether it be HPV or even type 1 diabetes) or even a history or illness(like heart diseases)?
 
or maybe people just naturally have preferences, and nobody is entitled to having everyone on earth be attracted to them

you not finding most black women attractive and going apeshit over asians is no different from, say you not finding most spicy foods appetizing and going apeshit over hard sweets

Preferences are natural to have, yes, but doesn't mean they came naturally.

Blonde girls being so fetishized by many, might be natural, but it might also have been shaped by media, portraying them as innocent, sweet, fun, angels.

I'm Swedish, and when travelling, everyone goes "oh Swedish girls are so beautiful". To other countries, Swedish girls are like perfect unicorns of sexiness, but to me who's born there, I don't have that view at all. To me they're not what a lot of other, non-Swedish people, believe them to be.
 
I don't really know what to think of all this.

We all have our preferences and what we are naturally attracted to.

People posting pictures of attractive women of color isn't really getting it.

I can saw objectively say that many of those women are extremely attractive. Just like I can say that a women with blonde hair is extremely attractive. I know they are and neither of those things are a real deal breaker, but it's just not what I am immediately drawn to. So I probably wouldn't pursue it from the start because it's not what my brain finds appealing.

Saying you won't date a specific race is strange and yeah, it probably is racist, but each of us knows where we are coming from. I like tan girls and not extremely pale ones. That's just what I am attracted to.

What am I supposed to do about that?
 
Having a preference isn’t racist I just think that people tend to heavily distort the definition of preference to rationalize any underlying prejudice.
 
I suppose I dug my own hole here. But im attracted to Asian people. I have heard someone say "I don't find Asians attractive" and while I thought they were fucking crazy, I didn't think they were filled with hate either.
Of course it's hate. It's not KKK hate but it's still micro-hate they have built up over time. There's no reason to not date someone based on their skin color because the only difference is skin color and the rest is reasoning stemmed from racism.

If people wanted to reflect personally, to look into that void we call our soul and write honestly why they would not date someone of another race it would be racist reasons 100% of the time.
 
I suppose I dug my own hole here. But im attracted to Asian people. I have heard someone say "I don't find Asians attractive" and while I thought they were fucking crazy, I didn't think they were filled with hate either.

The point is, not all Asians look the same at all. While you may not be attracted to one specific Asian person, you may be attracted to another.

People saying that about Asian people is even weirder, being that Indian and Japanese are both Asian and look completely different.
 
The point is, not all Asians look the same at all. While you may not be attracted to one specific Asian person, you may be attracted to another.

People saying that about Asian people is even weirder, being that Indian and Japanese are both Asian and look completely different.
#notallasians #notracistdoe
 
No its not racist to not want to date someone of a different race. Atleast in my opinion. If a white woman told me she not attracted to black men then I'll just move on and not worry about it. You can't force people to be attracted to someone in a different race
 
No its not racist to not want to date someone of a different race. Atleast in my opinion. If a white woman told me she not attracted to black men then I'll just move on and not worry about it. You can't force people to be attracted to someone in a different race
You can't but you could still call them racist.

What reasons are there to not date a black man? Leave this individual's personaility out of it. What reasons are there?
 
Of course it's hate. It's not KKK hate but it's still micro-hate they have built up over time. There's no reason to not date someone based on their skin color because the only difference is skin color and the rest is reasoning stemmed from racism.

If people wanted to reflect personally, to look into that void we call our soul and write honestly why they would not date someone of another race it would be racist reasons 100% of the time.
Skin color is not the only difference though. Culture can be very different and people also have different physical characteristics.

I meant it in the sense that preferences are common, but also a slippery slope since they can be very much based on institutionalized racism.

I'm not really calling anyone out on having preferences.
Ah right.
 
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