Support NeoGAF

[freenudemacusers]

It's obvious not everyone's relationship will be like the op's. But there are plenty of married guys who have experienced what the op has. There are also plenty of married couples who have sex 40x a day for 30 years. That's great, but their advice won't work for op.

I don't follow... obviously every relationship is different when you get down to it, but I think it's erroneous to assume that people who have fulfilling sex lives have not had downswings in their sexual relationships from time to time. Downswings corrected by a lot of the advice there in this thread.

 

[BeerSnob]

This is exactly what I'm frustrated by.

Wait, wait. Was the initial phase of the relationship filled with mind blowing, ultra kinky shit that would give Ron Jeremy the vapors? Because some folks conflate love with sex and they damn near switch off their libido once they "have you".

 

[A good poster]

It's obvious not everyone's relationship will be like the op's. But there are plenty of married guys who have experienced what the op has. There are also plenty of married couples who have sex 40x a day for 30 years. That's great, but their advice won't work for op. It's not the universal type of advice he needs.

What advice is there left to give, other than trying to find out the reason why she's not doing it?

 

[akira28]

This is exactly what I'm frustrated by.

It doesnt make sense, unless she's trying to tell you something non-verbally. I mean, she'd be done in 2 minutes, and then you'd basically have to do whatever she asked. What woman would turn that down?

 

[Devolution]

I've been married for twelve years. Don't blame your sex problems on marriage.

Yeah I love how communication with your partner instead of complaining on a forum suddenly changes when you're married.

 

[Sorian]

What advice is there left to give, other than trying to find out the reason why she's not doing it?

I think we need to send out DetectiveGAF, what if she is fellating another man?

 

[Bobby Roberts]

First you

and then you get

 

[Kinyou]

Sure we can, there are plenty of us on GAF. Sometimes he'll get a winner like you and sometimes he'll get a slob like me. It's like russian roulette.

I for one support the idea of secret santa BJs

 

[Bomber Bob]

its a life long commitment

So many healthy relationships in this thread

well guys, divorce rate is on the raise end adultery is as common as ever.

Well if marriage means you eventually get sick of having sex with your partner, or giving them favors when you're not in the mood...should we warn the LGBTs? This marriage things seems more and more like a tax scam and the source of unwanted children.

YES

Your avatar gives the vibe that you have no personal experience on the matter. Just wanted to point that out.

well I'm gay but I know a lot of heterosexual couples.

 

[Demon Ice]

OP is your wife extremely religious? That's the only type of person I can imagine getting offended over the idea of oral sex.

 

[BrokenEchelon]

Will you swallow the depths of my soul baby?

 

[Sorian]

I for one support the idea of secret santa BJs

The secret santa thread will be the best this year.

Admired one, place thy rosebud lips upon my divine upright cervix crusader to fuse our undying passions verily.

Henceforth, my dick will be known as the cervix crusader.

 

[Incitemaybe]

Admired one, place thy rosebud lips upon my divine upright cervix crusader to fuse our undying passions verily.

 

[Demon Ice]

Admired one, place thy rosebud lips upon my divine upright cervix crusader to fuse our undying passions verily.

Calling it this from now on.

Edit: Damn your edit, Sorian.

 

[EleventhDoctor]

OP is your wife extremely religious? That's the only type of person I can imagine getting offended over the idea of oral sex.

No not religious at all. She used to do this spontaneously out of the goodness of her heart, and we still have great sex-but again lately it's just that if she's not in the mood (which is admittedly less nowadays) asking for oral just gets a "no thank you".

 

[I'm an expert]

Yeah I love how communication with your partner instead of complaining on a forum suddenly changes when you're married.

Totally didn't call you pulling the same card as always.. oh yes I did! The universal band-aid doesn't exist.

What advice is there left to give, other than trying to find out the reason why she's not doing it?

This kind of stuff can strain relationships more, or at the least the sex life. It can put unwanted pressure on her or put her in defense mode, which makes the situation even worse for op. I dunno what op has done, maybe he's talked to her directly, maybe not.

 

[bro1]

with my wife for almost 15 years (10 married) and I get a bj maybe once a year. Not sure what happened but that's life!

 

[Sorian]

Calling it this from now on.

Edit: Damn your edit, Sorian.

Muahaha, couldn't lose my opportunity for dibs on that name.

 

[OddSpoon]

Get a Pringles can, layer the inside of the can with one huge ziplock bag, make sure the bag is open and the bottom of the bag can snag your dick. Squirt a ton of lotion/lube into the bag inside the can, stroke the inside the of bag so the walls of the bag are lubricated.

Fuck the Pringles can. Any time afterwards, tell your wife you need to talk to her about something serious. Tell her you've been unfaithful and have been cheating on her, then bring out the Pringles can. This will work even better if you zip up the cum inside the bag.

She'll either feel really guilty that she's driven you to have sex with Pringles cans, and have oral sex with you, or she'll be weirded out and pissed off for a week. She might potentially leave you.

Is this even real

fuck me this is post of the year

 

[PhoenixDark]

Eat her out first

 

[Devolution]

Totally didn't call you pulling the same card as always.. oh yes I did! The universal band-aid doesn't exist.

I'm sure the problem will be solved not talking to his partner.

 

[Sorian]

Totally didn't call you pulling the same card as always.. oh yes I did! The universal band-aid doesn't exist.

I wouldn't necessarily say it is a universal band-aid in the terms of it will magically fix any relationship but communication will always help a relationship far more than it will hurt it. That advice is sound to always give no matter the circumstances.

 

[Batman]

XD at the pringles can, that's gold

 

[commedieu]

Marriage for a long time changes things. You're young. I know you can sit behind your monitor and talk to me about communication yadi bladi or don't marry someone who ladi dadi, but, one day, you'll see lol. Well, your future husband will. Especially after you have kids. And me and him will telepathically brofist with tears in our eyes.

Edit: eh waste. U responded to all this already. ..
If this makes you sleep better at night. But fyi people enjoy sexually active relationships and Longevity In relationships as well. People are people.


Op's wife is offended by blow jobs. Op doesn't know why.

Ops wife has a mysterious libido that op can't explain.

you read that and come to the conclusion that this related to you? Its how it is over time. It's the initiation. I know couples in their 50s long marriages, still salsa dancing aand ass fucking. People like that aren't having issues which stem specifically from communication, and they aren't frustrated.

 

[akira28]

No not religious at all. She used to do this spontaneously out of the goodness of her heart, and we still have great sex-but again lately it's just that if she's not in the mood (which is admittedly less nowadays) asking for oral just gets a "no thank you".

she's cheating

 

[I'm an expert]

I'm sure the problem will be solved not talking to his partner.

Don't think I ever said for him not to talk to her, or communicate his feelings, or whatever other feel good advice you can type on a keyboard. Just saying, that shit don't always work, and most of the time it's not for simple reasons. Sometimes, shit's messy and layered. Sometimes, it's not. Hopefully op can tackle the problem, but it's obvious he's not a moron, he just wanted some other people to relate to. He doesn't need a bunch of people to tell him to "talk to her". Or, if he does, he's a moron.

 

[leadbelly]

"Darling! Would you mind examining my penile region, I seem to have a massive erection"

 

[Space Avocat]

Have your friend do it for you.

Give it back, yeah?

 

[Demon Ice]

No not religious at all. She used to do this spontaneously out of the goodness of her heart, and we still have great sex-but again lately it's just that if she's not in the mood (which is admittedly less nowadays) asking for oral just gets a "no thank you".

Even if you go down on her first?

 

[I'm an expert]

If this makes you sleep better at night. But fyi people enjoy sexually active relationships and Longevity In relationships as well. People are people.


Op's wife is offended by blow jobs. Op doesn't know why.

Ops wife has a mysterious libido that op can't explain.

you read that and come to the conclusion that this related to you? Its how it is over time. It's the initiation. I know couples in their 50s long marriages, still salsa dancing aand ass fucking. People like that aren't having issues which stem specifically from communication, and they aren't frustrated.

It's obvious op was talking about how early on in their relationship they were fuckin, suckin, pluckin everything nonstop, not that his wife is the "eww blowjobs" type. Now, after years of marriage, they're fatigued. It can be a variety reasons of why, biological and mental. Sure, the op can just ask, but I can immediately think of a bunch of reasons why it'd be hard for him to. I can relate to that. Others in here might not be able to.

I sleep just fine, worry not!

 

[Aselith]

Again I want to clarify that the issue here isn't sex overall-that's fine. But sometimes my wife won't be in the mood for a few days, and like Louis CK says, you just need to open the valve. And if she's not in the mood for sex, it's like everything is off the table. Sorry if it came across earlier like I'm living like a monk.

If your sex life is fine and it's a few days between BJ's...why is this an issue that you're making a thread about?

 

[EleventhDoctor]

Don't think I ever said for him not to talk to her, or communicate his feelings, or whatever other feel good advice you can type on a keyboard. Just saying, that shit don't always work, and most of the time it's not for simple reasons. Sometimes, shit's messy and layered. Sometimes, it's not. Hopefully op can tackle the problem, but it's obvious he's not a moron, he just wanted some other people to relate to. He doesn't need a bunch of people to tell him to "talk to her". Or, if he does, he's a moron.

BELIEVE ME we've talked about it. She's says nothing's wrong-and asks me to believe her and respect that.

But according to other people on this thread, that's my cue to go down on her.

 

[pigeon]

Hopefully op can tackle the problem, but it's obvious he's not a moron, he just wanted some other people to relate to. He doesn't need a bunch of people to tell him to "talk to her". Or, if he does, he's a moron.

Then probably don't start a thread about how to talk to her about sex?

Maybe a mod could change the thread title to "Anybody else normalized dysfunctional communication about sex in their marriage?"

BELIEVE ME we've talked about it. She's says nothing's wrong-and asks me to believe her and respect that.

But according to other people on this thread, that's my cue to go down on her.

So what DID you want out of this thread? It kind of does seem like all you wanted is for other guys to be like "yeah, that sucks."

Well, it does sound kind of like it sucks.

 

[Sorian]

Edit: eh waste. U responded to all this already. ..
If this makes you sleep better at night. But fyi people enjoy sexually active relationships and Longevity In relationships as well. People are people.


Op's wife is offended by blow jobs. Op doesn't know why.

Ops wife has a mysterious libido that op can't explain.

you read that and come to the conclusion that this related to you? Its how it is over time. It's the initiation. I know couples in their 50s long marriages, still salsa dancing aand ass fucking. People like that aren't having issues which stem specifically from communication, and they aren't frustrated.

I won't lie, my only complaint is I get none of this. feelsbadman.jpg

 

[akira28]

Even if you go down on her first?

she only allows any kind of sex contact if she's totally in the mood.

op..so she's the one who usually initiates? are you able to turn her on? Has the switch gone bad? Have you examined the circuitry leads?

believe me..and respect that..respect that. Respect that? Something's definitely wrong if she's telling you to respect something.

The problem is elsewhere and not in the bedroom, I suspect. But it has to do with you not reciprocating something, and it's something she has sworn not to mention because it's something you should already be aware of. And she will never mention it. She will die first.

 

[Devolution]

Don't think I ever said for him not to talk to her, or communicate his feelings, or whatever other feel good advice you can type on a keyboard. Just saying, that shit don't always work, and most of the time it's not for simple reasons. Sometimes, shit's messy and layered. Sometimes, it's not. Hopefully op can tackle the problem, but it's obvious he's not a moron, he just wanted some other people to relate to. He doesn't need a bunch of people to tell him to "talk to her". Or, if he does, he's a moron.

Yeah and the messy part is not really something we have keen insight on because she's a person with her own damn issues that need to be addressed.

His posts in here haven't exactly helped his cause.

Couples therapy OP. Maybe even a sex related one too.

Then probably don't start a thread about how to talk to her about sex?

Maybe a mod could change the thread title to "Anybody else normalized dysfunctional communication about sex in their marriage?"

Seriously.

 

[EleventhDoctor]

she only allows any kind of sex contact if she's totally in the mood.

op..so she's the one who usually initiates? are you able to turn her on? Has the switch gone bad? Have you examined the circuitry leads?

Yes-she only prefers for HER to initiate anything-so that's the problem. If I'm requesting something when she's not in the mood, then she's not initiating.

 

[Sadsic]

when she's sitting on the couch, walk up to her from behind, and rest your half-erect phallus on her right shoulder (this is critical, it cannot be her left shoulder).

nature will take care of the rest.

what kind of dirty shit goes on on the left shoulder

 

[I'm an expert]

Yeah and the messy part is not really something we have keen insight on because she's a person with her own damn issues that need to be addressed.

His posts in here haven't exactly helped his cause.

Couples therapy OP. Maybe even a sex related one too.


Seriously.

I can get behind this. Provided op isn't from a culture that looks down on this. Get it out there with a third party.

 

[Lissar]

Can't even have a discussion about sex without getting offended?

Forget oral, work on that first. It might be "normal" for a couple to avoid talking about it, but it's not helpful in creating a healthy relationship.

 

[Devolution]

Yes-she only prefers for HER to initiate anything-so that's the problem. If I'm requesting something when she's not in the mood, then she's not initiating.

And you've let this go on for 9 years or what?

 

[jimi_dini]

I never noticed the pointing before now.

You will never be unable to unsee it. Believe me, I tried. GAF has ruined Back to the future 3 for me

 

[bjb]

Damn OP. Definitely lost your man card.

 

[Sorian]

what kind of dirty shit goes on on the left shoulder

Let's just say you will wake up three days later, naked, in an unknown liquid with a throbbing headache, rectum, and boner.

 

[A good poster]

And you've let this go on for 9 years or what?

His wife must be really good in bed.

 

[Messypandas]

disguise your penis as a piccolo

 

[akira28]

Yes-she only prefers for HER to initiate anything-so that's the problem. If I'm requesting something when she's not in the mood, then she's not initiating.

The problem is elsewhere and not in the bedroom, I suspect. But it has to do with you not reciprocating something, and it's something she has sworn not to mention because it's something you should already be aware of. And she will never mention it. She'd rather die first. And she will feel that mentioning it to you is like being your parent, when you should have already noticed what was wrong because you're a grown man. But until you figure it out, she will wait for you to ask for her to make you happy, and she will tell you she doesn't want to, and that you should respect that.

You are being passively aggressively attacked from the 5th dimension.

 

[commedieu]

Can't even have a discussion about sex without getting offended?

Forget oral, work on that first. It might be "normal" for a couple to avoid talking about it, but it's not helpful in creating a healthy relationship.

Exactly. But ops ignoring this.

 

[Mister Wilhelm]

Great advice! How long have you been married.

1 year. Don't get all sarcastic on me, OP. Either you are failing to make your wife feel sexy, she is cheating, or she is unable to understand your needs because they aren't being communicated properly.

Sounds like 1 and 3 to me. If addressing 3 didn't go so well, solve 1 or see a marriage counselor.

No woman wants to feel obligated to suck cock. You need to learn why she feels that way.

 

[stolin]

Chris Rock - "... half the women in here are grossed out.. and the other half are in loving relationships!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGmbZ4NortM