It finally went down...no, up again.

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God damn. I'm never bitching about a paper cut ever again. From now on, whenever I injure myself, I'm going to think about your penis and feel better. Just... ouch.
 
WOW! GABORN! My penis and I feel for you... Glad you're ok.

And yeah, that paragraph was extremely disturbing to read, i'm not going to deny it one bit.
 
Gaborn
Gaborn News:
Penetrating Your-Let's not talk about it I had a rough day.
(Today, 03:16 AM)
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-COOLIO- said:
most likely

he got the standard treatment
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If he went sooner he could have gotten only one needle, as presumably there would be less clotted blood.

Gaborn, you take trazodone medication? Priapism is a classical side effect.

Freestyler said:
Catheters are amazing! Wait till you see how much you're peeing without even knowing it. I filled up a whole bag/bucket without even feeling it.
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Until you get an ascending urinary tract infection (lessee, an always patent tube connecting the filthy outside world directly into your sterile bladder). If it's in there for days, he'll be pissing pus in no time through a half-dead penis that's been to hell and back. Then catheters become less fun.
 
D:

oh mah gawd

feel better man.

uh, anyone else think the gaborn news erection is now the most ironic (if not Machiavellian) image ever?
 
hockeypuck said:
Until you get an ascending urinary tract infection (lessee, an always patent tube connecting the filthy outside world directly into your sterile bladder). If it's in there for days, he'll be pissing pus in no time through a half-dead penis that's been to hell and back. Then catheters become less fun.
Click to expand...

Wow that is kinda scary. All that happened for me was that I peed all over the girl who took it out - never send a girl to do a man's job…
 
Threi said:
rc29v4.gif
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:lol :lol :lol :lol awesome
 
This reminds me of that episode in True Blood where that dude drinks some vampire blood and gets a never-ending erection. Doctor then injects his penis with a needle.

Don't do it again Gaborn.
 
Gaborn said:
Well, that wasn't fun. They did the whole bit. It took forever to find a vein for a damn IV and another for a blood draw. Then the 'fun' started. They injected me with a LOT of morphine, I lost track and felt nothing until they jabbed two needles into my shaft and started pumping me with salt water with one, draining me with the other. Essentially they took out every ounce of fluid, semen, blood (a lot of congealed blood) and urine, more or less in that order. Every few minutes they'd massage the penis, then go back to pumping in more saline solution. Most painful thing EVER. Then they decided they needed another needle (apparently 1/4th of it still wasn't draining right). so they jabbed me again. And pumped. and massaged (with the needles still in mind... making the needles hurt and tear very slightly very sensitive skin). LOT of morphine though. And a local (another jab. In the penis). the local would've been great.... except it was only meant to make it bearable. They wanted to make sure I still had sensation in it. 45 minutes later they're done and I'm stuck for the night. If there's another uprising I suffer again. Morphine is godly. more tomorrow.
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Christ. And I was just thinking of making a thread about how annoying my pilonidal cyst was. (Don't wiki at work)
 
Kyoufu said:
This reminds me of that episode in True Blood where that dude drinks some vampire blood and gets a never-ending erection.
Click to expand...

Are you saying Gaborn is a fang banger?
 
Jesus Christ, Gaborn. I'm glad you and your best buddy are okay, but that must have been excruciating. I hope it wasn't worse because you waited.
 
Good god, you should have just moved to Japan I hear they worship the penis there.

I hurt a groin muscle a few months back and it made my right testicle grow twice its size,the pain was horrible I feared I had the ball cancer so I reluctantly went to the doctor, its very embarrassing having a female doctor just stare at your nutts and then go about grabbing them and she wasn't good either she had me scheduled for an ultrasound where I was further humiliated. This pales in comparison to what you had to go through though. Your mighty brave good sir.
 
What sort of reaction did you get walking into ER going "oh hey I have a raging mongrel that just won't quit, what can you do for me?"
 
Jesus hoo hoo fucking christ. I regret reading the follow up.

Hope you feel better, Gaborn, but I was clenching my teeth, with balls shirnking back into my nasal cavity while yelling fuck fuck fuck fuck in my head while reading the needle-penis massage.

I won't be masturbating tonight.
 
I had a needle jabbed into a tooth nerve once and I wanted to jump out the window, god only knows how you felt.
 
Gaborn said:
Well, that wasn't fun. They did the whole bit. It took forever to find a vein for a damn IV and another for a blood draw. Then the 'fun' started. They injected me with a LOT of morphine, I lost track and felt nothing until they jabbed two needles into my shaft and started pumping me with salt water with one, draining me with the other. Essentially they took out every ounce of fluid, semen, blood (a lot of congealed blood) and urine, more or less in that order. Every few minutes they'd massage the penis, then go back to pumping in more saline solution. Most painful thing EVER. Then they decided they needed another needle (apparently 1/4th of it still wasn't draining right). so they jabbed me again. And pumped. and massaged (with the needles still in mind... making the needles hurt and tear very slightly very sensitive skin). LOT of morphine though. And a local (another jab. In the penis). the local would've been great.... except it was only meant to make it bearable. They wanted to make sure I still had sensation in it. 45 minutes later they're done and I'm stuck for the night. If there's another uprising I suffer again. Morphine is godly. more tomorrow.
Click to expand...

ddddddddaaaaaammmmmnnnnnnn...

as far as getting a tag on GAF this is the bar, people. :lol
 
Damn. Well im glad it all went ok Gaborn, well you know except for the needles.

Do you still have any other side effects/symptoms of your birth condition or was this a freak one of a kind type of thing?
 
Most painful story I ever heard. But then again I fear needles like no other so will I certainly cannot exactly imagine your pain (lack of penis) I can symphatize with you. Hope you recover well and may this event never happen again to you.
 
Ouch this does not sound like a pleasant experience.

Glad it worked out fine for you.
 
Sorry, quick update. I'm staying at my dad's for a couple days, there was a... complication (not with the penis thank god) the IV slipped out of the vein and went into my arm. 500 ccs of saline solution in my arm before they noticed, it swelled 2-3 times the normal size. Mostly back to normal but... could be a day or two before I'm on again and back to normal. Bye gaf, thanks for the love, no more priapism forever I hope.
 
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