It seems like I have a massive shit inside me and it hurts
- Thread starter Whitecrow
- Start date
diffusionx
Gold Member
Coffee
F
Foamy
Unconfirmed Member
One of these should help loosen things up for you.
kretos
Banned
...it may be time to consider the dreaded apparatus.
Seinfeld (1989) - S04E23 The Pilot (1) clip with quote ...it may be time to consider the dreaded apparatus. Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Easily move forward or backward to get to the...
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Mohonky
Member
Legitimate they used to tell people this decades ago because it works.
Otherwise, time to get something to soften it up
nush
Member
It really does work.
#Phonepunk#
Banned
drink a glass of salt water. this will do the trick.
just full a glass with water and stir in a bunch of salt. things are about to get loose.
or invest in some high bran cereal.
just full a glass with water and stir in a bunch of salt. things are about to get loose.
or invest in some high bran cereal.
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SirTerry-T
Member
Constipation is like geometry...
If you're stuck, get a ruler and work it out.
If you're stuck, get a ruler and work it out.
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StreetsofBeige
Member
If you want it to come out naturally wait it out.
If you want it to explode out of your ass, go grab a Big Mac asap. You'll blast the bowl 20 minutes after you eat it.
If you want it to explode out of your ass, go grab a Big Mac asap. You'll blast the bowl 20 minutes after you eat it.
Taxexemption
Member
Start by making some ramen. Any ramen is fine, it doesn't matter, the cheapest stuff available will work just fine. I suggest adding something for protein content. How you do this depends on your method and what you have handy. When you have finished with the Ramen add a few spoonfuls of this,
and some sesame oil. I reccommend Imperial dragon
Amazon.com : Imperial Dragon 100% Pure Sesame Seed Oil, 5 fl oz (Pack of 3) : Grocery & Gourmet Food
Amazon.com : Imperial Dragon 100% Pure Sesame Seed Oil, 5 fl oz (Pack of 3) : Grocery & Gourmet Food
www.amazon.com
Only add a few drops, the smell and taste is overpowering. If you finish the Ramen after adding these ingredients your bowels will be completely empty within an hour or two of time.
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Alcibiades
Member
Fiber supplements. Go buy some Psyllium Husk capsules ASAP.
bitbydeath
Member
You sure it's not just gas?
Stiflers Mom
Banned
Maybe you can ask your girlfriend/wife for some pegging?
May literally loose some shit up.
May literally loose some shit up.
Hotty Botty
Member
How many Courics do you think it is?
Whitecrow
Banned
I think I'm sick of dehydration btw so yeah Ill keep the water coming in
About 200 more or less
Love the thread btw, you didnt dissappoint < 3
The pain somehow went away and I could get to sleep, but the "thing" is still in. Maybe it stopped hardenning or somehow it softened...
Anyways I hope it goes out today before night.
BTW, I dont have SO, I dont smoke, and I'm lactose intolerant : DDD So better not use cheese or cigarrettes, and iin anycase, it would be myself the one to manually pull it out : D
Gonna try with the coffee first : 3
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Snaggletooth
Member
Did you hear about the constipated Accountant?
He worked it out with a pencil
He worked it out with a pencil
Hotty Botty
Member
Hey man, for real though, it has to come out. The longer feces stays in your large intestine, the more water is resorbed back into your circulatory system and the more it'll harden. And that could lead to a bowel obstruction and even more issues. I would recommend taking a stool softener and an enema. If that doesn't work, you might want to see a doctor.
Prison Mike
Banned
Richard Packer
Member
Borrow
MetalAlien
subwoofer for shitting. Just let the base do the work.
MetalAlien
subwoofer for shitting. Just let the base do the work.
Xaero Gravity
NEXT LEVEL lame™
and 3 others
Banned
#Phonepunk#
Banned
drinking too much coffee might make you more constipated, and ruin your somach. i recommend warm salty water.
ThatStupidLion
Member
Upper_Management
Member
Status report?
Fugitive Sex
Member
Out of curiosity, what's your diet like?
and 3 others
Banned
Goro Majima
Kitty Genovese Member
A few drinks could clear it up too.
Whitecrow
Banned
Mind sharing your story with us? : )
Just one cup at the morning and one after eating : (
I hope I dont need anyone's help : /
I've sent a missile inside, got rid of some small chunks, but the asteroid is still big enough to shatter the earth : (
Meat, pasta (without as much cheese as possible), beer, some wine, and some water or coke. And lots of stress from work, as everyone else (?)
#Phonepunk#
Banned
pasta/beer/wine is a lot of sugars and carbs. start throwing in veggies. get some Kale, it is cheap af and you can just throw it in any meal.
also more water! chug that water. if you ever get thirsty, instead of pouring a glass of water to sip, fill up a glass, drink it all, then fill it again and sip from that.
also more water! chug that water. if you ever get thirsty, instead of pouring a glass of water to sip, fill up a glass, drink it all, then fill it again and sip from that.
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