Dynamite Shikoku
Congratulations, you really deserve it!
She's playing you like a fiddle, op
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Just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me
- Thread starter kittoo
- Start date
The Albatross
Member
Glad things played out the way they did, but I still don't trust her. Of course my feelings don't matter here, yours do, but ... Something still doesn't seem right and I think it's worth considering if you're planning to marry this girl.
always crazy bacon
Banned
You did, you let her disrespect you repeatedly and didn't end it. You don't have to be the person who cheated to have made the wrong decision in a relationship. You sent a clear signal to her that you would accept her shit. That's what you did wrong.
KernelPanic
Member
She used a dating app to make a few "friends" after you two were together?
Greedings
Member
I went to a strip club to make a few "friends."
In this i do agree. She just wanted me not to leave, that she need it time...And thats what pretty much i did.
I guess you guys are right, pretty much right. When in relationship the respect from the both of us its lost, then everything its lost.
I just think that understanding, talk and having good intentions was enough for both persons. if there was enough love and appreciation from both sides, anything could be fixed.
Maybe i watched too many romance movies. Who knows.
always crazy bacon
Banned
I didn't. That vague "maybe it was just before or after I met you" answer was a massive red flag. The fact that she actually connected with a creepy guy is what got her caught and ironically off the hook. Also she didn't block him, why why why? If he was so much trouble? Makes you think, as was suggested earlier in the topic. Why she was using the app to chat to guys and not move to another chat app instead? Maybe there are guys already moved onto those apps that have escaped detection.
I even saw the app once on her phone a few months back and when asked she said she made some friends on it before meeting me and she still talks to them on it. I thought that was OK.
My reaction:
My reaction:
always crazy bacon
Banned
You have. It's a common problem that too many young people use movies/TV/Persona as a template for how real life relationships work. They provide a bad unrealistic view on adult relationships, perhaps even damaging.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Glad it worked out for you dude. Its nice to be wrong in situations like this.
CaviarMeths
Member
Wow, a happy ending. That never happens in GAF relationship threads. Congrats on the sex!
Funny enough, all my life i had been like this. I'm not a bad guy, im extremely a good person. And i bet thats my problem. I cannot find a point between being a Dr. House or being too open and loving.
Then again, what its haunting the most its the fact that i was with her everyday, resolving, helping, picking her from work at 5pm, doing other things while doing my own, taking care of her and getting responsabilities and everything. Hell, again, i was supposed to marry that women next year. I do feel crazy lonely, i was too much used to be with her, can you guys blame me?
Anyway, i guess i need time. I need to fix the way to her to give me my money back, to find a way to see the puppies, but if i do that i had to make contact with her, and believe me i don't want to see her in anyway. Its has been a suffering week for me. A real bad week.
johancruijff
Banned
Can't wait for the second update in a few months
I can attest to this.
Greedings
Member
You're still delusional if you think you're getting any money back.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Kill Your Masters
Member
I go to a brothel to play D'n'D.
Nope. Highly suspicious. OP may just prolong his suffering and waste time on the wrong person until her old friend Chad Thundercock slides into her dating app dms.
My parents have been maried 35+ years and knew each other for less than a year.
Muffin1611
Banned
I don't see what is weird about it. I moved in with my gf after 6 months and after being in a relationship for 20 months now I'd be open to the idea of marriage*. I've seen her mother once. She hates her with a passion, for good reasons.
*if I had the money 
I know you had a talk with her OP but isn't it possible that when she's not using the app she deletes it and re-downloads from the app store when she wants to use it again. I assume all she needs to do then is log in to her account and then she'll have access to all her messages.
Obviously, I hope it all works out for you but something does seem a bit suss.
Obviously, I hope it all works out for you but something does seem a bit suss.
Musha_Soturi
Member
Really glad it all worked out for you OP. Just proves it's always best to get all the facts before jumping to a conclusion and making a rash decision.
Bet all you folks who called her scum and told OP to dump her are eating a little humble pie right now.
Also lol at all the people still trying to say she's in the wrong. Does it matter when she met the guy? Even if it was just after she met OP they wouldn't have been exclusive at that point. And so what if she kept the app for a few months after they met, she said it was just to talk to friends she had already made, she didn't use it to meet anyone new once they were exclusive. Newsflash, girls and guys can be friends with nothing funny going on! And it sounds like she got rid of the app a while back. And yeah she met up with the guy a couple of months ago, when they were in the same place and he kept pestering her. Maybe she was worried he would try and find her in the mall and cause a fuss if she didn't agree? She said that she'd told the guy she was serious about someone else.
She was completely open and honest about everything when OP confronted her and went out of her way to prove she was innocent, which she really didn't have to do. Sounds to me like she has nothing to hide at all.
Bet all you folks who called her scum and told OP to dump her are eating a little humble pie right now.
Also lol at all the people still trying to say she's in the wrong. Does it matter when she met the guy? Even if it was just after she met OP they wouldn't have been exclusive at that point. And so what if she kept the app for a few months after they met, she said it was just to talk to friends she had already made, she didn't use it to meet anyone new once they were exclusive. Newsflash, girls and guys can be friends with nothing funny going on! And it sounds like she got rid of the app a while back. And yeah she met up with the guy a couple of months ago, when they were in the same place and he kept pestering her. Maybe she was worried he would try and find her in the mall and cause a fuss if she didn't agree? She said that she'd told the guy she was serious about someone else.
She was completely open and honest about everything when OP confronted her and went out of her way to prove she was innocent, which she really didn't have to do. Sounds to me like she has nothing to hide at all.
always crazy bacon
Banned
You were running around after her like a lovesick little boy. Sure she kept you around for her convenience and free money. You never ever going to get any of that money back, so forget it.
Also forget the puppies. They are not people or your children, just go out and adopt your own puppy instead. Plenty of rescue dogs that would benefit from your attentiveness and will take your mind off her.
WordsintheWater
Member
Nope, was the first thing I asked. Although the OP addressed it, it still seems suspicious. I mean if someone was bothering me and I was in a long term relationship it would be easy to block that person and if not that I would at the very least never meet up with that person, but that's me.
You are scaring me with this attitude. Hell, i don't believe i was dating the devil...i believe. Can persons by this bad? Im sure as hell none of you guys would do this to somebody else. I guess?
always crazy bacon
Banned
While I was reading the first post it was clear that something was up with the guy. I've seen hundreds of photos of people that I know with other people that I know and that I didn't know they knew each other. I never asked anyone 'hey how do you know that guy?' or anything like that. Nobody ever asked me either. It just seems like the guy knew your sis is your sis and that your gf is really your gf, so he just tried a stunt to fuck things up.
Then I came to read the rest of the story, the ending. You handled things quite well. And as you also realize, having a dating app 'to talk to friends' is wierd as fuck. It doesnt seems like your gf really cheat on you, but not because of the 'I checked her messages' thing, she could easily delete only the bad ones and keep the safe (I have friends that do that... there is one guy that talk with girls on facebook and at the same time he has another tab open in the page where you can delete the messages so that the messages dont even stay there more than a few seconds lol). But the way the guy acted clearly shows that he was the one trying something and that they had no connection at all.
Regarding marriage, 1.5 might be enough to know if it's the right person for sure, ir you are sharing the same roof. Unless you plan on marrying and living in different places.
Then I came to read the rest of the story, the ending. You handled things quite well. And as you also realize, having a dating app 'to talk to friends' is wierd as fuck. It doesnt seems like your gf really cheat on you, but not because of the 'I checked her messages' thing, she could easily delete only the bad ones and keep the safe (I have friends that do that... there is one guy that talk with girls on facebook and at the same time he has another tab open in the page where you can delete the messages so that the messages dont even stay there more than a few seconds lol). But the way the guy acted clearly shows that he was the one trying something and that they had no connection at all.
Regarding marriage, 1.5 might be enough to know if it's the right person for sure, ir you are sharing the same roof. Unless you plan on marrying and living in different places.
Kill Your Masters
Member
I didn't call her scum but plenty of those posts may still be true. Even moreso now, because chances are she didn't tell the truth but just more lies instead. Having guy friends on a dating app is a red flag.
Musha_Soturi
Member
Oh my goodness, really? You don't believe girls and guys can be friends?
Thats how marriage used to be. It was the start of your life together.
These days people get married way later, things have changed.
Me and my girl, are just getting eloped. Dont even want a wedding.
Kill Your Masters
Member
Nope. I just said that communicating through a dating app and then claiming to just be friends is a red flag.
Shadowhelper
Banned
Why is she even meeting men who want to fuck her, behind your back? Oh wow, she didn't go through with fucking and dating a man she doesn't appear to like that much. Wow, she so faithful. She won't sleep with men if she doesn't like them. She'll just check them out behind your back. That's your big victory OP?
I'm going to go ahead a speculate OPs gf is not into him at all. Perhaps she is settling, but she wouldn't be on fucking dating apps chatting with 'friends'. The fact OP bragged he had sex with his GF, to me also implies sex does not flow freely from her, lack of attraction on her part, and is enough of a big deal that it actually needs to be mentioned as part of the story.
Whoever this guy is, she knows he likes her. She knows everyone on that app is there for sex and relationships. She's there to see what is out there. I think that's kinda obvious. Its why she did all this behind your back.
People settle all the time. I don't know OP, some people need to be pushovers in order to get a girl, or the girl they want. But OP if you have options, you should obviously get some self respect and get a new girl.
Although, the more you like someone the more outrageous shit you will put up with. This seems like one of those relationships where the power is all with her.
I'm going to go ahead a speculate OPs gf is not into him at all. Perhaps she is settling, but she wouldn't be on fucking dating apps chatting with 'friends'. The fact OP bragged he had sex with his GF, to me also implies sex does not flow freely from her, lack of attraction on her part, and is enough of a big deal that it actually needs to be mentioned as part of the story.
Whoever this guy is, she knows he likes her. She knows everyone on that app is there for sex and relationships. She's there to see what is out there. I think that's kinda obvious. Its why she did all this behind your back.
People settle all the time. I don't know OP, some people need to be pushovers in order to get a girl, or the girl they want. But OP if you have options, you should obviously get some self respect and get a new girl.
Although, the more you like someone the more outrageous shit you will put up with. This seems like one of those relationships where the power is all with her.
CaviarMeths
Member
OP: Hey I think my GF is cheating on me.
GAF: She sucks, dump her, don't even bother saying bye!
OP: Oh turns out I was mistaken. She even had receipts to prove her side of the story.
GAF: ...Nah red flags. I'm an expert. She fancies more dicks.
GAF: She sucks, dump her, don't even bother saying bye!
OP: Oh turns out I was mistaken. She even had receipts to prove her side of the story.
GAF: ...Nah red flags. I'm an expert. She fancies more dicks.
Mr. PlayStation
Member
Sorry to hear man, this sounds disheartening. But I was recently observing a relative watch an Indian Mega TV serial and there's this guy like you who's in a committed relationship with a girl. This girl is a student in college and her professor is hitting on her without her realizing. He says damning things like he's in a relationship with her and what not just to confuse the good guy and make him dump her. Without being too confrontational, explain to her what came to your attention yesterday and how you've been in a state of disbelief and see how it goes. She might turn out to be innocent, who knows?
Ryo Hazuki
Member
Lol so true. Some of the early posts in the thread and even some being made now are embarrassing.
Musha_Soturi
Member
Ok so if she was communicating with them via whatsapp or something this would be fine? Why does the communication method matter?
Man.. That's a tough one to swallow.
Talking it out with her is absolutely the first step you need to take. Put it all on the table, in a calm and collected manner. I know it's a lot easier to say this than to actually do it.. But communication should always come in first place.
Then, after hearing her side, it'll be the moment for you to decide what's next.
If what she tells you sounds like bullshit and you see that she's not the person that you though her to be.. Say your goodbyes and move one. It'll hurt like a bitch. You'll feel broken for a while. But time heals everything. You'll get back on it.
But.. There's also the possibility to forgive here. If see actual regret and you believe that what she's been doing is something that won't happen again and is something that you can live with, you can forgive her and keep living you lives together. Don't get carried away by the stigma. There's nothing wrong with forgiving... It's not something to be ashamed about.
Best of luck.. We'll be here if you need to vent.
Talking it out with her is absolutely the first step you need to take. Put it all on the table, in a calm and collected manner. I know it's a lot easier to say this than to actually do it.. But communication should always come in first place.
Then, after hearing her side, it'll be the moment for you to decide what's next.
If what she tells you sounds like bullshit and you see that she's not the person that you though her to be.. Say your goodbyes and move one. It'll hurt like a bitch. You'll feel broken for a while. But time heals everything. You'll get back on it.
But.. There's also the possibility to forgive here. If see actual regret and you believe that what she's been doing is something that won't happen again and is something that you can live with, you can forgive her and keep living you lives together. Don't get carried away by the stigma. There's nothing wrong with forgiving... It's not something to be ashamed about.
Best of luck.. We'll be here if you need to vent.
Go_Ly_Dow
Member
Some members on GAF need to learn to communicate better it seems.
Musha_Soturi
Member
OP I think you need to put an update in the op, people are clearly not reading the thread!
yeah it seems like the guy was a total creep and trying to break things up. This is why you dont just automatically take the other persons side without getting the full story and going from there.
KernelPanic
Member
Has nothing to do with that.
You don't go on a dating app to "make friends". Plenty of other social media platforms for that.
You go there to see what other fish are in the sea. Classic case of "im doing good in my relationship but I want to see if I can do better". It's a red flag. Nothing happened and maybe she was just curious and not thinking about what this looks like, but still that's not a normal behavior.
It's like going to a strip club under the pretense you're a fan of dancing and the fine arts.
Depends who they were and how they met etc but that's how emotional affairs start. If you're discussing things you don't want your SO to know(and you hide it from them) you are doing something wrong.
When you sign up for a dating site you're advertising you're single and people contact you on that assumption.
If you're in a relationship and you're doing this, there's something wrong.
darkazcura
Member
Based on the the time this was posted (about 4 PM EST) with the OP saying it was around 2 AM where he is, I'm assuming he is in India so a lot of this makes sense. I'm American with Indian heritage, and my wife and I started talking about marriage about a year into our relationship. We didn't get married until year 5, but we knew at year 1 that we wanted to. The reason we had the discussion was so that we could meet each other's parents as each other's significant others. Bringing a guy/girl home is serious business in Indian culture so you better be sure it is a potential long term thing when finally doing it.
My parents are much less traditional in this sense, but hers are super traditional in how they view dating/marriage.