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[Zombie James]

http://money.cnn.com/2015/05/06/investing/keurig-green-mountain-earnings-stock-fall/index.html

Sales of Keurig brewing machines and accessories tumbled 23% in the first quarter compared to the prior year.

The company had a lot of excuses, but the basic problem is there are too many Keurig machines in stores and people aren't buying them, especially the newest Keurig 2.0 model.

"We do have some headwinds," said Chief Financial Officer Fran Rathke on a call with analysts.

Investors are fleeing the stock. Keurig (GMCR) dropped 10% Thursday when the market opened for trading. Shares are now down more than 25% this year.

It's a big change for the company which had been one of the hottest stocks in 2013 and 2014 and does over $1 billion in sales.

CEO Brian Kelley says he's listening to consumers and is ready to make changes. The biggest frustration for customers is that the 2.0 model only brews Keurig branded coffee cups.

"Quite honestly, we were wrong. We underestimated the passion the consumer had for this," Kelley told analysts on a call Wednesday evening.

No shit, dumbass. The obvious solution will be to get this garbage out of their machines ASAP and fire whoever came up with this idiotic idea, but I wonder if the damage to the brand has been done.

 

[Courage]

Don't fuck with my coffee 👊

 

[jwk94]

So maybe they'll re-release models without DRM? There's a Keurig (i think) machine that I really want.

 

[The Lamonster]

The Starbucks version (Verismo) is way better.

Most Keurig tastes like ass.

 

[outunderthestars]

Good to see the marketplace respond to anti-consumer behavior by Keurig.

 

[SmithnCo]

Good to see stupid anti-consumer decisions like this result in abject failure.

 

[Tripon]

What do you mean that only coffee Keurig could be used? How do you DRM coffee?

 

[Arthr2ShdsJcksn]

Keurigs are the wost thing that has happened to the coffee industry over the past few years. So wasteful for such a subpar product.

 

[Mr. Giggles]

The damage might be done..

Guess this is what happens when you try to instill too much control - probably the same guy who thought it was a good idea to give the PS Vita proprietary memory cards

 

[DJ_Lae]

No shit indeed. It's one of the dumbest decisions I think I've ever seen for a consumer device. Even just saying DRM for coffee sounds ridiculous, no idea what they thought they'd gain from it.

 

[jay]

We were wrong because we expected to be able to fuck the customer without them complaining.

 

[Applesauce]

DRM for coffee? LOL, what the fuck were they thinking?

 

[tuffy]

My folks have one of the old pre-DRM Keurigs. Since they can't find any new pods for it, their plan is to simply use up what they have and then get rid of the machine. So yeah, definitely a mistake all around.

 

[GungHo]

Well, DUH

 

[Deleted member 1235]

does nespresso not exist over there? here in NL and I'm assuming other parts of EU it's HUGE. surely they would be able to get in on this action since these idiots seem to have shit the bed.

 

[statham]

when greed hits, they had it all but wanted more.

 

[InfiniteBento]

Keurigs are the worst thing that has happened to the coffee industry over the past few years. So wasteful for such a subpar product.

This. The amount of waste these things produce is astounding. Ecobrew cups still aren't enough to make up for it either. The coffee a keurig produces is also shit to boot.

 

[RiggenBlaque]

What do you mean that only coffee Keurig could be used? How do you DRM coffee?

Only the Keurig branded coffee pods had a signed RFID tag (or something) in their lids. If you put a non-Keurig pod into the coffee machine, it detected the absence of this tag and wouldn't function without it.

 

[statham]

This. The amount of waste these things produce is astounding. Ecobrew cups still aren't enough to make up for it either. The coffee a keurig produces is also shit to boot.

I use refillable pods, Its not as good as a slow drip but I like the speed.

 

[DoomGyver]

DRM for coffee? LOL, what the fuck were they thinking?

Greed $$$$$$

 

[RedNumberFive]

Yup, the wife and I bought a Keurig last month and had to search all over town for a 1.0 model. I'd much rather load up some Intelligencia into some reusable pods than drink the environmentally unfriendly garbage coffee sold at Target. (The Archer Farms Vanilla Creme Brûlée being an exception.)

 

[AlexMogil]

My folks have one of the old pre-DRM Keurigs. Since they can't find any new pods for it, their plan is to simply use up what they have and then get rid of the machine. So yeah, definitely a mistake all around.

Do what? The new ones work just fine. New K-Cups are completely compatible.

 

[MomoPufflet]

This is so satisfying.

wrong wrong WRONG

I hope the new models have a module to brew regretful CEO tears.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

I'm not a coffee snob, but Keurigs produce some truly awful stuff.

 

[Mister Zimbu]

What do you mean that only coffee Keurig could be used? How do you DRM coffee?

There was special ink or code or something in the labels that the Keurig would detect and fail to brew if it wasn't there.

It was easily beatable by installing a "Freedom Clip" that 3rd party pod manufacturers started including with their coffee (which is also better tasting, cheaper, and the pods more environmentally friendly than what you get from Keurig).

 

[LakeEarth]

I'm thinking that most people who would want something like that have already bought theirs. Even though they are pretty cheaply made, my 3 year old machine is still kicking. Only one time did it start making some "I'm dying noise", but a couple of runs of white vinegar through the machine cleared that right up.

 

[Grimm Fandango]

does nespresso not exist over there? here in NL and I'm assuming other parts of EU it's HUGE. surely they would be able to get in on this action since these idiots seem to have shit the bed.

It does but it's definitely a pricier alternative. My roommate owned one and I enjoyed it.

 

[Ramma2]

Looks like this thread could use some freedom:

https://www.gourmet-coffee.com/Keurig-DRM-Freedom-Clip.html

 

[Tripon]

Only the Keurig branded coffee pods had a signed RFID tag (or something) in their lids. If you put a non-Keurig pod into the coffee machine, it detected the absence of this tag and wouldn't function without it.

That is so weird.

 

[EatinOlives]

We were wrong because we expected to be able to fuck the customer without them complaining.

Full stop, they didn't think for one second about how the consumer would respond. They were completely out of touch if they honestly thought that DRMing fucking COFFEE wouldn't bring any kind of backlash.

 

[sixteen-bit]

DRM for coffee? LOL, what the fuck were they thinking?

They were thinking about money

 

[Slayven]

Aren't there a ton of machines that can use those things?

 

[GungHo]

does nespresso not exist over there? here in NL and I'm assuming other parts of EU it's HUGE. surely they would be able to get in on this action since these idiots seem to have shit the bed.

It exists, but it's not common. Same with the Starbucks pods and other stuff. Keurig penetrated deeply into big box stores and grocery stores (along with people who made "non-licensed" K-cup-compatible cups) and became the pod coffee to beat. So much so that the only people that could beat them in the US was themselves. And then they did just that. Morons. Absolute morons.

Only the Keurig branded coffee pods had a signed RFID tag (or something) in their lids. If you put a non-Keurig pod into the coffee machine, it detected the absence of this tag and wouldn't function without it.

San Francisco Bay made a little plastic insert that defeats this. It ships with their new boxes of coffee (if you buy direct from them... Costco doesn't carry it for obvious reasons).

 

[Akuun]

These things were convenient but they always tasted like plastic.

Only the Keurig branded coffee pods had a signed RFID tag (or something) in their lids. If you put a non-Keurig pod into the coffee machine, it detected the absence of this tag and wouldn't function without it.

Amazingly bullshit.

 

[bigkrev]

I'm curious about how many people who are outraged actually ever used non-official cups. If you care about the quality of coffee, why would you ever use a Keurig? It exists as an easy and quick way to make a cup of coffee in the morning when you aren't functioning as a human yet due to caffeine addiction, not as a way to "enjoy" coffee.

 

[Randolph Freelander]

Note to self: revisit idea to employ DRM with showers and soap.

 

[SmithnCo]

Only the Keurig branded coffee pods had a signed RFID tag (or something) in their lids. If you put a non-Keurig pod into the coffee machine, it detected the absence of this tag and wouldn't function without it.

Which is fucking stupid because you can just take the label off a keurig pod and put it on any other pod and it will work.

 

[Hari Seldon]

It is also probably some of the fact that these things were sold cheaply all over the country for a while now. Everyone probably has one that is possibly interested in one. At one point I had won 2 at different picnics and had to spend time finding someone to give these away to since everyone I knew already had one.

 

[tuffy]

Do what? The new ones work just fine. New K-Cups are completely compatible.

I'll have to look into exactly what machine they can't find coffee for to see what's up. They've got one that takes taller K-Cup things that seems okay, but the one that takes shorter ones has gone obsolete. I'm not a coffee drinker so it's all second-hand info, but I'd assumed it was related to Keurig's new DRM scheme.

 

[Timeaisis]

Keurig is awful. Tassimo is much better for that kind "instant" single cup coffee. Drip is still king, though.

 

[massoluk]

Hopefully, they will offer free patch for their customer to download and remove the DRM.

 

[garath]

Just got rid of my Keurig 1.0. It was starting to make some sick noises. I agree with all the comments:

- too wasteful
- too expensive
- coffee not that great

When my wife and I were deciding to replace it or go back to drip, it was a pretty easy decision. Especially given the 2.0 garbage.

 

[SliceSabre]

Coffee making shouldn't be so freaking locked down and restriction. Not to mention its not even all that good.

 

[A_Gorilla]

So keurig is the MS of the coffee industry?

 

[jakonovski]

This ain't the game industry, Keurig.

 

[Fuchsdh]

I don't think the DRM is the biggest issue, really (easy to foil, that's what we did at work.)

Seems more likely that the Keurig fad is receding and they might have overextended themselves (although to that point, trying to lock up the hardware was probably just going to exacerbate the issue because you're making your fancy proprietary hardware even more proprietary, and there's only so much of that people are going to take for coffee.)

 

[ISWThunder]

I'm curious about how many people who are outraged actually ever used non-official cups. If you care about the quality of coffee, why would you ever use a Keurig? It exists as an easy and quick way to make a cup of coffee in the morning when you aren't functioning as a human yet due to caffeine addiction, not as a way to "enjoy" coffee.

I think a lot of people do. Because they aren't ultimately concerned about quality, I imagine a lot of people choose whatever coffee is on sale, regardless of who makes them.

I think most of the cups I buy would work on the 2.0 machine, but I don't pay attention. I've definitely bought the SF Bay cups off of amazon and they don't work in the new machines.

 

[NervousXtian]

Well, you can basically fix the DRM with a piece of plastic.

Still, stupid.. especially since people had coffee in bulk from places that weren't official K-cups and couldn't use them when they got a new machine.. just stupid.

 

[ISWThunder]

I'll have to look into exactly what machine they can't find coffee for to see what's up. They've got one that takes taller K-Cup things that seems okay, but the one that takes shorter ones has gone obsolete. I'm not a coffee drinker so it's all second-hand info, but I'd assumed it was related to Keurig's new DRM scheme.

yea, I dont think you have the full story. You may have it reversed. The bigger [carafe] K-Cups only work with the 2.0 machines. The smaller ones are the more popular versions that you see everywhere. They all work with the old machines but only some of them work with the new ones.

I have an older machine and we have an older one at work and both get plenty of use.

 

[Couleurs]

There was special ink or code or something in the labels that the Keurig would detect and fail to brew if it wasn't there.

It was easily beatable by installing a "Freedom Clip" that 3rd party pod manufacturers started including with their coffee (which is also better tasting, cheaper, and the pods more environmentally friendly than what you get from Keurig).

I don't know whether to laugh or shake my head about the fact that we live in a world where people have to jailbreak their coffee

I can't wait until everything has some sort of DRM and micro transactions involved