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[Pumpkins]

So I don't like texting... But I have a question about it.

I met up with a girl recently and we had a coffee together. Things went really well and she said we should hang out again, and I got her number. So I waited a few days then texted her, she replied like instantly for the first two texts, then after that the rest of the day goes by and... nothing.

I'm gonna wait until tomorrow to see if she says anything back, but I'm just wondering ... Is this pretty common?

Also some other details (not sure if this matters or whatever) she said "text me", rather than call, and English isn't her first language. So there's that.

 

[Izick]

See, you're not going to be another sleazebag, you'll just be another dude asking a lady out. On top of that how do you know she'll react badly if you never take the chance in the first place?

Also, I'll tell you right now, I have no fear of being alone. If that's my fate, so be it. My only goal is to stop worrying and taste life, enjoying the everyday struggle along the way.

Finally, it seems you don't have too much of a friend structure. Get more friends.

Where do they sell those? No, but seriously I don't know if she'll react badly, I mean I guess there's a 50/50 shot other way, but I wish there was at least some way to have a clue before going in and making an ass out of myself. I think the no would probably be the biggest sting. I don't know if I can take the awkwardness, not to mention, how the hell do you end that conversation? Do you just say goodbye after being rejected?

As for being along, I believe you, but I honestly think that deep down you have the same want to meet someone and perhaps have a family or just be with someone. You really just want to "enjoy" life when you're 50+ years old? I think values really change as you get older, and I'm not going to patronize you like a lot of people do on forums and pull out the age card, but I'm guessing as you get older, at least older than you are now (not saying you're young), you're feelings on the subject may change.

 

[Pumpkins]

Where do they sell those? No, but seriously I don't know if she'll react badly, I mean I guess there's a 50/50 shot other way, but I wish there was at least some way to have a clue before going in and making an ass out of myself. I think the no would probably be the biggest sting. I don't know if I can take the awkwardness, not to mention, how the hell do you end that conversation? Do you just say goodbye after being rejected?

Nothing great is ever obtained without risk. Risk is what makes life interesting, and without it, we would have no ups or downs. Risk facilitates change, and change allows us to grow. Risk can be painful, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. Either way, failure is necessary to become a wiser person. So I say, just take a chance. You have to start somewhere, too!

As for what you say if you're rejected, there isn't always something TO say. But I would say just try to save face. Don't be angry or start asking why, just roll with it. She'd likely be nice about it considering most girls are. And don't throw yourself to the lions either, like saying "Oh well! It was worth a shot!" with a dramatic swing of the arm. I'd probably just say something like, "Oh alright, well the offer still stands if you decide to change your mind" Or if you just met her, "Oh okay, well it was nice talking to you then, good luck with your essay!" And then just act fine about it and change the subject or say you have to get going. It might not feel that way inside, but it's better to present yourself in a way that shows your support yourself.

Something important to remember too, you want to find someone who WANTS to spend time with you. Pursuing someone who doesn't care about spending time with you is torture, so in some ways it's good to get rejected (at least, early on) because you're weeding out those kinds of people. This is also why it's important not to wait too long before asking someone out/showing interest, because it helps you too in the long run!

The reality is, life is awkward, interactions are awkward. Communication is awkward. We're all just kind of doing our best. And a lot of people just fake really, really well.

 

[pigeon]

Where do they sell those? No, but seriously I don't know if she'll react badly, I mean I guess there's a 50/50 shot other way, but I wish there was at least some way to have a clue before going in and making an ass out of myself.

There are ways, but your anxiety and inexperience is making it difficult for you to perceive the clues. Luckily the best way to learn to perceive the clues is practice.

I think the no would probably be the biggest sting. I don't know if I can take the awkwardness, not to mention, how the hell do you end that conversation? Do you just say goodbye after being rejected?

Usually you say "see you around," probably. Which is a lie but what are you gonna do.

Being rejected is a sad and lame experience, but the reality is, it's a lot better than the imagined experience of being rejected. You need to accurately perceive the risk/reward structure here.

 

[Izick]

Nothing great is ever obtained without risk. Risk is what makes life interesting, and without it, we would have no ups or downs. Risk facilitates change, and change allows us to grow. Risk can be painful, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. Either way, failure is necessary to become a wiser person. So I say, just take a chance. You have to start somewhere, too!

As for what you say if you're rejected, there isn't always something TO say. But I would say just try to save face. Don't be angry or start asking why, just roll with it. She'd likely be nice about it considering most girls are. And don't throw yourself to the lions either, like saying "Oh well! It was worth a shot!" with a dramatic swing of the arm. I'd probably just say something like, "Oh alright, well the offer still stands if you decide to change your mind." And then just act fine about it and change the subject or say you have to get going. It might not feel that way inside, but it's better to present yourself in a way that shows your support yourself.

The reality is, life is awkward, interactions are awkward. Communication is awkward. We're all just kind of doing our best. And a lot of people just fake really, really well.

There are ways, but your anxiety and inexperience is making it difficult for you to perceive the clues. Luckily the best way to learn to perceive the clues is practice.



Usually you say "see you around," probably. Which is a lie but what are you gonna do.

Being rejected is a sad and lame experience, but the reality is, it's a lot better than the imagined experience of being rejected. You need to accurately perceive the risk/reward structure here.

I know you all are right, and I want to do it, but I just can't get over the hump no matter how much I try to talk myself up or whatever. I usually think "maybe, I"ll give it a shot" but I usually just save face and forget about it. I wish I could just flip a switch and be in "the zone" like that, but that's not me.

 

[Lissar]

I have dated only one guy who approached me on the street, and that's because he was interested in having a conversation and not asking me to go have some coffee or begging me for my number.

If she seems uninterested, don't press it. She won't think any less of you for it. Especially if she says she is already taken. I don't get hit on very often, but whenever I have told them I already have a boyfriend it doesn't seem to deter them in their quest for my number. "Oh you don't have to tell him about me, it will be our little secret" is not cute.

 

[shanshan310]

I don't get hit on very often, but whenever I have told them I already have a boyfriend it doesn't seem to deter them in their quest for my number. "Oh you don't have to tell him about me, it will be our little secret" is not cute.

Yep, right here you just destroyed any chances of a civil getaway. If she says something that equates to "no" (having a boyfriend is one of those things) she's not changing her mind. Especially not if you're pushy.

 

[Pumpkins]

I know you all are right, and I want to do it, but I just can't get over the hump no matter how much I try to talk myself up or whatever. I usually think "maybe, I"ll give it a shot" but I usually just save face and forget about it. I wish I could just flip a switch and be in "the zone" like that, but that's not me.

There is no "zone". It's a very binary decision, you either ask or you don't. One day you'll likely just get sick of it and just think, "I've got nothing to lose." But maybe that day won't come for a while. Be patient and invest in yourself a bit, developing your core person can help a lot with the confidence thing, more so than simply trying to convince yourself.

 

[Izick]

I have dated only one guy who approached me on the street, and that's because he was interested in having a conversation and not asking me to go have some coffee or begging me for my number.

If she seems uninterested, don't press it. She won't think any less of you for it. Especially if she says she is already taken. I don't get hit on very often, but whenever I have told them I already have a boyfriend it doesn't seem to deter them in their quest for my number. "Oh you don't have to tell him about me, it will be our little secret" is not cute.

Don't you fucking hate that guy though? Don't you get sick of being approached and pestered by guys with dumb pickup shit or attempts at small-talk that transparently hide their true intention of just asking you our or hitting on you? Don't you feel weird if you see them again after you rejected them?

There is no "zone". It's a very binary decision, you either ask or you don't. One day you'll likely just get sick of it and just think, "I've got nothing to lose." But maybe that day won't come for a while. Be patient and invest in yourself a bit, developing your core person can help a lot with the confidence thing, more so than simply trying to convince yourself.

I guess not. You can always lose face though.

 

[pigeon]

I guess not. You can always lose face though.

What the fuck is face?

 

[Videoneon]

I know you all are right, and I want to do it, but I just can't get over the hump no matter how much I try to talk myself up or whatever. I usually think "maybe, I"ll give it a shot" but I usually just save face and forget about it. I wish I could just flip a switch and be in "the zone" like that, but that's not me.

With no intention of piling it on, and as someone who used to be really anxious,

The "zone" is a notion that is pretty harmful for those with anxiety issues. It's misleading; I'd used to tell myself at times that I'd do things when "the time is right." Sure, you can put off laundry for a day or something, but thinking of approaching someone as requiring the zone or having the ability to get in the zone won't do much favors.

Basically, there's no magic switch. Do not think that you need to be free from anxiety to pursue what you want, you most certainly can't plan for those golden moments. And regarding the notion of faking confidence--it happens ALL the time, from people you wouldn't expect. Besides, people don't just turn 30 and become self-confident. Or even 40 or 50. Maturity isn't completely a function of age: see office politics. If it helps, don't think that society is holding you to some yardstick. There's no real yardstick, and no one real is holding it.

Also...forgot about this:

So I don't like texting... But I have a question about it.

I met up with a girl recently and we had a coffee together. Things went really well and she said we should hang out again, and I got her number. So I waited a few days then texted her, she replied like instantly for the first two texts, then after that the rest of the day goes by and... nothing.

I'm gonna wait until tomorrow to see if she says anything back, but I'm just wondering ... Is this pretty common?

Also some other details (not sure if this matters or whatever) she said "text me", rather than call, and English isn't her first language. So there's that.

I'm not a girl....but why wait a few days? Even if you wanted to avoid coming off desperate (which is generally something I'm not too keen on,) waiting a day or two would have been fine.

But as far as your situation, it's hard to say without knowing much about her. My initial reaction is that she, having said after your date that she wants to meet up again and having given you her number, is also "waiting." Of course she could also be busy or forgetful. I wouldn't worry about her wanting you to text her as I know that some people understand texting can be more distant and comfortable than phone calls; it's clear when she did that she wasn't putting you off--she wanted to keep talking!

edit: It just occurred to me that she could be unsure of how you're perceiving the relationship (whether or not she wants you as a friend or has romantic/sexual interest) but that's too much thinking with too little to go on, not worth spending much time worrying about

Get back to her tomorrow, see what happens. Is it common?...kind of. Touch 'n go in the initial relationship stages is definitely not unheard of.

 

[Izick]

What the fuck is face?

Meant as:

a. Value or standing in the eyes of others; prestige: lose face.

With no intention of piling it on, and as someone who used to be really anxious,

The "zone" is a notion that is pretty harmful for those with anxiety issues. It's misleading; I'd used to tell myself at times that I'd do things when "the time is right." Sure, you can put off laundry for a day or something, but thinking of approaching someone as requiring the zone or having the ability to get in the zone won't do much favors.

Basically, there's no magic switch. Do not think that you need to be free from anxiety to pursue what you want, you most certainly can't plan for those golden moments. And regarding the notion of faking confidence--it happens ALL the time, from people you wouldn't expect. Besides, people don't just turn 30 and become self-confident. Or even 40 or 50. Maturity isn't completely a function of age: see office politics. If it helps, don't think that society is holding you to some yardstick. There's no real yardstick, and no one real is holding it.

I actually do this all the time. I make excuses in my head like maybe "I'm not dressed well enough today" or "what would I even say?" just dumb stuff I guess, but it makes sense in my head when I think about it. I guess it's all just excuses.

 

[Pumpkins]

What the fuck is face?

It's essentially a term for how you appear to others.

 

[Devolution]

Don't you fucking hate that guy though? Don't you get sick of being approached and pestered by guys with dumb pickup shit or attempts at small-talk that transparently hide their true intention of just asking you our or hitting on you? Don't you feel weird if you see them again after you rejected them?

None of us hate guys who come up to us nicely and talk even if we know that they're probably trying to ask us out. You really need to get over it. The ones we take issue with are ones who act like jerks. I've gotten the small talk dudes in bars, they were well mannered and pleasant (even if one was definitely too drunk) but I didn't hate them. You have to put yourself out there at some point or else get a real doll.

 

[Izick]

None of us hate guys who come up to us nicely and talk even if we know that they're probably trying to ask us out. You really need to get over it. The ones we take issue with are ones who act like jerks. I've gotten the small talk dudes in bars, they were well mannered and pleasant (even if one was definitely too drunk) but I didn't hate them.

Yeah, but isn't a bar a different kind of atmosphere than say school or the gym? At the bar, it's kind of like a whole social thing, everyone is there to have fun and have a few drinks, but people are at school for numerous reasons, and would you want to be pestered there by people if you were just minding your own business and doing your daily stuff?

 

[pigeon]

Meant as:

a. Value or standing in the eyes of others; prestige: lose face.

But the people around you are strangers you'll never see or interact with again and who have no reason to remember you. What makes you think you have any standing with them, positive or negative? I know what face is, I just think it's a little bizarre to be concerned about your prestige. Honestly, I think it's a little self-important to imagine that any of them will even notice. People are really not interested in the day-to-day details of your life and your interactions with other people.

 

[Izick]

But the people around you are strangers you'll never see or interact with again and who have no reason to remember you. What makes you think you have any standing with them, positive or negative? I know what face is, I just think it's a little bizarre to be concerned about your prestige. Honestly, I think it's a little self-important to imagine that any of them will even notice. People are really not interested in the day-to-day details of your life and your interactions with other people.

I mean at school or at the gym there's definitely a chance that you could run into them again, especially if you are in the same classes or go to the gym at the same times.

 

[Pumpkins]

Yeah, but isn't a bar a different kind of atmosphere than say school or the gym? At the bar, it's kind of like a whole social thing, everyone is there to have fun and have a few drinks, but people are at school for numerous reasons, and would you want to be pestered there by people if you were just minding your own business and doing your daily stuff?

Pestered? You're inferring that simply by striking a conversation up with someone you're pestering them. 9 times out of 10, you're not. Unless you're like someone that's really vulgar and rude. Or if the person you're talking to is rude.

 

[Lissar]

Don't you fucking hate that guy though? Don't you get sick of being approached and pestered by guys with dumb pickup shit or attempts at small-talk that transparently hide their true intention of just asking you our or hitting on you? Don't you feel weird if you see them again after you rejected them?

Why in the world would I hate such a person? Social interaction and trying to meet people is just a part of life. It doesn't always work out. Once in awhile, it does. As long as they're polite about it, I have no issues at all. In fact if they're a good conversationalist, it can be fun. I always like talking to new people. And why would it be weird? As long as they politely ask and I politely refuse, there is no harm done. The fact that some guys out there are interested, whether or not I'm interested, is flattering. The key is to not be pushy and rude. Actually have a conversation. If you've done these things and she's rude back to you, then either she's had a bad day or you've actually lucked out by not getting her number.

 

[pigeon]

I mean at school or at the gym there's definitely a chance that you could run into them again, especially if you are in the same classes or go to the gym at the same times.

This is not actually a substantive response to my point! What makes you think any of them will remember or care in the unlikely event that you do see them again?

 

[Pumpkins]

This is not actually a substantive response to my point! What makes you think any of them will remember or care in the unlikely event that you do see them again?

If the interaction was creepy or weird, people will care and remember. If it was cordial and polite, then you can simply act like the two of you are friendly acquaintances. And like the above poster said, you can assume she took it as a flattering gesture and isn't irrationally hostile towards you.

 

[Devolution]

Yeah, but isn't a bar a different kind of atmosphere than say school or the gym? At the bar, it's kind of like a whole social thing, everyone is there to have fun and have a few drinks, but people are at school for numerous reasons, and would you want to be pestered there by people if you were just minding your own business and doing your daily stuff?

People at school were usually knee deep in whatever it was they were doing but it was still a social atmosphere. You're assuming striking up a conversation is always pestering if it's in X place, it's really not.

 

[AdventureRacing]

People at school were usually knee dip in whatever it was they were doing but it was still a social atmosphere. You're assuming striking up a conversation is always pestering if it's in X place, it's really not.

This may sound stupid but if anything school (including university) felt more social than a lot of clubs i've been to (where people just seem to stick to their groups). There is pretty much no better opportunity to socialize than at school.

They gym on the other hand isn't such a good place really.

 

[Lissar]

Good example of chatting someone up:

(You see a girl reading a book by an author you like.)

You: "Sorry, I hate to bother you while you're reading, but I notice you're reading [book]. I love [author]."

(Conversation about similar interests etc.)

You: "I'd love to meet you again and talk about books sometime? Maybe you could introduce me to new authors."

(If she says yes, so far so good, but if she says no...)

Her: "Well I'd love to, but I have a boyfriend..."

You: "Oh. Well it was nice meeting you anyway."

(And you leave her alone. She is left with good conversation and perhaps feeling flattered by the attention.)



Bad example of chatting someone up:

(You see a girl in a hurry to get somewhere and decide to talk to her.)

You: Hold on, let me get a look at you. You are beautiful!

Her: Um, thanks... I'm sorry, I'm kind of...

You: Hold on, just let me have your phone number.

Her: Er, sorry I already have a boyfriend, so...

You: Oh come on. You don't have to tell him. (You get out your phone.) Tell your name and number, I'll put it in here right now and call you later.

Her: I'd rather not.

You: Well then how about your e-mail.

Her: I have to go.

(And she leaves, quite annoyed at how you've wasted her time.)


Both of these conversations have actually happened to me. If I hadn't been dating someone, the first one might have gone somewhere. The second one never had a chance, regardless of my relationship status.

 

[Izick]

Interesting. How could that work in the gym when there's not a really a common thing to talk about? I guess how that could fit in a class is self-explanatory.

 

[Pumpkins]

Interesting. How could that work in the gym when there's not a really a common thing to talk about? I guess how that could fit in a class is self-explanatory.

Pretend to pass out from all the weight you're lifting and hope the girl you're looking at is the only qualified person to perform CPR.

I'd say you're dealt a tough hand with places like the gym. Unless you're a gym enthusiast or something it's hard to just come up with things to talk about. At least at a coffee shop you can see someone who's reading a book, which sort of gives insight into their interests.

But then again, some situations just create themselves. Maybe you'll overhear what some girl is listening to on her iPod. "Oh I love that song! Have you heard their new album?" And then... Bam, conversation opener.

 

[thebaroness]

I don't know about other women, but for me, the gym is completely LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE time. I make myself work out to stay healthy, but I don't necessarily enjoy working out. It's like going grocery shopping. I don't really like doing it, but it needs to be done to survive. If anyone tries to chat me up at the gym, I get super pissed off. Thankfully, I go to a small gym and only one person since my year of going there has tried hitting on me.

 

[Izick]

I don't know about other women, but for me, the gym is completely LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE time. I make myself work out to stay healthy, but I don't necessarily enjoy working out. It's like going grocery shopping. I don't really like doing it, but it needs to be done to survive. If anyone tries to chat me up at the gym, I get super pissed off. Thankfully, I go to a small gym and only one person since my year of going there has tried hitting on me.

See, that's what I don't want to do.

 

[commedieu]

I know what you're saying but I just don't want to do it and then when they say no, it's going to be awkward if I ever see them again. I guess that's not that bad t college since it's so populated, but I don't know if I could do that to a girl that I'm in a class with or goes to the gym at the same time. When she says no, it's just going to be weird whenever I go there, awkward for me and the girl.

Hi.. your manhood here..

Be respectful and try to have a conversation with her. You're spending too much time fantasizing about failure. If she says no thanks, and you were respectful, its her loss. Continue working out at the same gym. Don't be weird. Time will pass.

Thats literally it.

I lurk this thread often, sorry this isn't coming from a woman. But... You really need to fail a lot in approaching women to learn that there are people who just aren't compatible with you, that there is nothing wrong with that, and that all people are just people, no matter how drop dead gorgeous they are.

Worst thing that happens is you get friendzoned with a beautiful woman, who has cute friends. You have nothing to lose in talking someone up, ever.

 

[Izick]

Hi.. your manhood here..

Be respectful and try to have a conversation with her. You're spending too much time fantasizing about failure. If she says no thanks, and you were respectful, its her loss. Continue working out at the same gym. Don't be weird. Time will pass.

Thats literally it.

I lurk this thread often, sorry this isn't coming from a woman. But... You really need to fail a lot in approaching women to learn that there are people who just aren't compatible with you, that there is nothing wrong with that, and that all people are just people, no matter how drop dead gorgeous they are.

Worst thing that happens is you get friendzoned with a beautiful woman, who has cute friends. You have nothing to lose in talking someone up, ever.

Just hearing the term "friend-zoned" makes me shutter a bit. If she says no, is it really her loss? I mean she doesn't seem to be too upset about "losing" something.

 

[commedieu]

Just hearing the term "friend-zoned" makes me shutter a bit. If she says no, is it really her loss? I mean she doesn't seem to be too upset about "losing" something.

It doesn't matter what she thinks. Worry about you. Rejection isn't a reflection of your worth. I'm assuming you're a good person. So its always someones loss just to shut someone down, in the fashion I'm sure you're imagining. Friendzone shouldn't make you shutter, I'm sure one day it wont. You can't let people outside of you dictate the way you feel about yourself. Why give anyone that power? Especially someone who doesn't even give you the time of day to even know who you are outside of a face and a name?

Just be respectful and fake confidence if you don't have it. There are always plenty of people out there, this isn't the end all. If anything, you should just practice your dating/talking to women and just give it a shot. The worst thing that can happen is what you make it to be in your own mind.

Talk to her & learn from this. Its all anyone can do. Don't try to fumble with cheesy lines. If anything, I'd say mention something about not wanting to be the weird guy at the gym, But you wanted to meet her anyway. Its midnight here so I'm not as crisp, im sure someone can help this along with what I'm getting at. You will know immediately if shes open to being approached at the gym, hopefully you don't work out where thebaroness works out

 

[maxxpower]

After reading this page I've realized that Izick and I are extremely similar, we have the exact same problems.

 

[Lissar]

I really dislike the term "friendzone" quite a bit.

The friendzone only exists for those who hang around a person pretending to be their friend even though they don't want to be. If you want to be their friend (romantic interest or not) then that's just called being friends. It also makes it sound like the person is maliciously putting you in this zone and planning to keep you trapped there for all time. But in reality you put yourself there. If you hang around someone you don't want to be friends with, that's your own fault. Also, it's totally possible to go from being friends to more than friends. But it's probably true that you can't get there from the "friendzone" because you aren't really friends at all.

 

[Al-ibn Kermit]

See, that's what I don't want to do.

Well you say that this girl was looking at you. Next time you go to the gym and that happens just smile or say hi, her eyes will tell you if she's interested. If she sends you an overt signal like rolling her eyes or whatever then she's trying to tell you not to waste your time.

 

[commedieu]

I really dislike the term "friendzone" quite a bit.

The friendzone only exists for those who hang around a person pretending to be their friend even though they don't want to be. If you want to be their friend (romantic interest or not) then that's just called being friends. It also makes it sound like the person is maliciously putting you in this zone and planning to keep you trapped there for all time. But in reality you put yourself there. If you hang around someone you don't want to be friends with, that's your own fault. Also, it's totally possible to go from being friends to more than friends. But it's probably true that you can't get there from the "friendzone" because you aren't really friends at all.

I can see why you dislike it if thats what you consider it.

Its being rejected romantically, but you can still have a friendship, and not be weird with the person who rejected you. I think you're defining a scumbag, but I don't think that is synonymous with being friendzoned. It can be as simple as a person having a boyfriend/girlfriend. That doesn't propel you into some zone of plotting your next strike, posing as a friend, only to attack later on after you've learned the ins-and outs of the person that rejected you. Men don't just want sex, and if thats not on the table, we are gone! Having awesome girlfriends is spectacular, and its what I've learned from getting friendzoned. I also have non-friendzoned girlfriends. If you can get over the initial meeting, failed romantic offerings, you're just friends with a person.

with that context, I said there is nothing wrong with it, and that you shouldn't shutter from hearing it. Friendzone is being shut down, its a blow to the ego, and its definitely an initial negative feeling. But its not some evil plot, sure, some scumbags are scumbags, but thats not new. Some people will sadly cling onto a friendzone, as thats all they have. But those are larger problems with self esteem, and internal honesty.

 

[fmpanda]

As for being along, I believe you, but I honestly think that deep down you have the same want to meet someone and perhaps have a family or just be with someone. You really just want to "enjoy" life when you're 50+ years old? I think values really change as you get older, and I'm not going to patronize you like a lot of people do on forums and pull out the age card, but I'm guessing as you get older, at least older than you are now (not saying you're young), you're feelings on the subject may change.

Actually, nope, not gonna change on the matter. My family is known for their stubborness, and being alone is not a fear for me. Just to show you my humanity (as I'm sure you're probably thinking I'm E-Boasting), I'll let you in on a fear that bothered me for a long time: Alcohol.

You see, another aspect on both my Maternal and Paternal halves of the family is the collective predilection towards drug and alcohol abuse, which ravaged the crap out of my parents (my Pops now has a busted liver along with emphysema and a slowly fatal nerve disease and my Mom has a busted liver and Hepatitis C), so for the longest time I stayed away from any alcoholic beverages, believing them to be evil and the folks who drank them also to be eventually damned. It wasn't until I became a manager and botched up a beer order (the GM asked me to order beer while he was on vacation, I ended up getting Landshark) that I realized that I was going to have to get over myself and actually learn about Alcohol and Beer because if I don't know what I'm talking about via experience, then how in the hell am I going to be able to make the right decisions ordering the proper product that matches best with our food? So I broke down, hopped over to The Flying Saucer, got myself a UFO card, and have been tasting my way ever since, and you know what? I was full of shit in the past, Beer and Wine and Liquor and Spirits are a journey of the senses, meant to be enjoyed, distilled down to pure essence of the mind. Yes, there is always the chance for abuse, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to grab a Velvet Hammer and a Lawnmower with my burger, or enjoy a Risling while dining on some spicy chicken I just made at my house, and that is because at the end of the day, it is me and me alone that controls my actions.

There is nothing that can not be accomplished as long as you fully believe in your own willpower to overcome any obstacle, and that is what everyone for the last few pages are trying to tell you. Also, if I am alone when I hit 50+, cool beans, if anything, I can now use my "GET OFF MY LAWN!" power, cause I mowed that shit and watered it down perfectally, fucking kids.

 

[Izick]

Actually, nope, not gonna change on the matter. My family is known for their stubborness, and being alone is not a fear for me. Just to show you my humanity (as I'm sure you're probably thinking I'm E-Boasting), I'll let you in on a fear that bothered me for a long time: Alcohol.

You see, another aspect on both my Maternal and Paternal halves of the family is the collective predilection towards drug and alcohol abuse, which ravaged the crap out of my parents (my Pops now has a busted liver along with emphysema and a slowly fatal nerve disease and my Mom has a busted liver and Hepatitis C), so for the longest time I stayed away from any alcoholic beverages, believing them to be evil and the folks who drank them also to be eventually damned. It wasn't until I became a manager and botched up a beer order (the GM asked me to order beer while he was on vacation, I ended up getting Landshark) that I realized that I was going to have to get over myself and actually learn about Alcohol and Beer because if I don't know what I'm talking about via experience, then how in the hell am I going to be able to make the right decisions ordering the proper product that matches best with our food? So I broke down, hopped over to The Flying Saucer, got myself a UFO card, and have been tasting my way ever since, and you know what? I was full of shit in the past, Beer and Wine and Liquor and Spirits are a journey of the senses, meant to be enjoyed, distilled down to pure essence of the mind. Yes, there is always the chance for abuse, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to grab a Velvet Hammer and a Lawnmower with my burger, or enjoy a Risling while dining on some spicy chicken I just made at my house, and that is because at the end of the day, it is me and me alone that controls my actions.

There is nothing that can not be accomplished as long as you fully believe in your own willpower to overcome any obstacle, and that is what everyone for the last few pages are trying to tell you. Also, if I am alone when I hit 50+, cool beans, if anything, I can now use my "GET OFF MY LAWN!" power, cause I mowed that shit and watered it down perfectally, fucking kids.

Hmm, well I'm glad that you're happy and you'd stay happy being alone with that but I don't think that's the life I want to live. I don't want to be by myself forever.

 

[fmpanda]

Hmm, well I'm glad that you're happy and you'd stay happy being alone with that but I don't think that's the life I want to live. I don't want to be by myself forever.

Then I think for one, you're going to need to straighten out the issues you have as they will always block your ability to progress further with finding and keeping an SO, and only you can do that. For two, I think it would be best for you to drop by Dating-Age.

 

[Vermillion]

I can see why you dislike it if thats what you consider it.

Its being rejected romantically, but you can still have a friendship, and not be weird with the person who rejected you. I think you're defining a scumbag, but I don't think that is synonymous with being friendzoned. It can be as simple as a person having a boyfriend/girlfriend. That doesn't propel you into some zone of plotting your next strike, posing as a friend, only to attack later on after you've learned the ins-and outs of the person that rejected you. Men don't just want sex, and if thats not on the table, we are gone! Having awesome girlfriends is spectacular, and its what I've learned from getting friendzoned. I also have non-friendzoned girlfriends. If you can get over the initial meeting, failed romantic offerings, you're just friends with a person.

with that context, I said there is nothing wrong with it, and that you shouldn't shutter from hearing it. Friendzone is being shut down, its a blow to the ego, and its definitely an initial negative feeling. But its not some evil plot, sure, some scumbags are scumbags, but thats not new. Some people will sadly cling onto a friendzone, as thats all they have. But those are larger problems with self esteem, and internal honesty.

My friend was hit with the best friend line from a girl he was interested in some time ago.

Decided to wait for her to drop her bf.

 

[Izick]

Then I think for one, you're going to need to straighten out the issues you have as they will always block your ability to progress further with finding and keeping an SO, and only you can do that. For two, I think it would be best for you to drop by Dating-Age.

I don't even know what I'd ask though.

 

[FO-totality]

Girl texts you her measurements.

What does it mean?!

 

[SolidusDave]

She wants you to buy her lots of expensive clothes for Christmas.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Girl texts you her measurements.

What does it mean?!

She's DTF.

Edit: Or expensive clothes. Dave's probably more right than I am.

 

[apocalidiot]

I know this is so situational but what should I get my gurlfriend for Christmas?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I know this is so situational but what should I get my gurlfriend for Christmas?

Romantic getaway.

Well, actually a girl's better off answering this one.

 

[cube444]

Interesting. How could that work in the gym when there's not a really a common thing to talk about? I guess how that could fit in a class is self-explanatory.

Your common thing at the gym, is the gym. You can break the ice by asking to work in at the same machine or asking them how many more sets they have before they are done.

 

[Lissar]

I know this is so situational but what should I get my gurlfriend for Christmas?

There is really no way to give a good answer to this since we know nothing about her.

Surely you have a better idea than we would. If you can give us an idea of what kind of things she's interested in, we might be able to point you in the right direction.

 

[H.Protagonist]

I know this is so situational but what should I get my gurlfriend for Christmas?

Or give us more details.

 

[The Artful Dodger]

Or give us more details.

No Details are necessary buy her that.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Alright ladies, advise me. Got a couple new shirts and wanted to see which unused tie would work best.

Best tie/shirt combination?

Wool Tie

The rest are Cotton ties save for the last one. Checked shirt is cotton. The other shirt is the fancy sounding "chambray".

It's always good to have a female opinion when you have to dress up. Not that I have to dress up today, but at some point next week. Also, I'm procrastinating and it seems I'd rather take crappy pics of my shirts and ties instead of working.