PigSpeakers
Member
That's kind of what I figured.
Oh, and I wouldn't try and pursue her if she had a boyfriend. That typically works like a light switch for me.
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LadyGAF Advises ManGAF
- Thread starter Mineshaft_Gap
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That's kind of what I figured.
Oh, and I wouldn't try and pursue her if she had a boyfriend. That typically works like a light switch for me.
CherryWoodFuton
Member
The choice should be pretty obvious. Your female friends know you're taken so hopefully they won't try to act on their crush but if it ever happens you need to be firm with them about not going down that rabbit hole (assuming if you're serious with your gf).
I totally thought you were gay bro.
CherryWoodFuton
Member
I don't know whether to be insulted or to be flattered lol
Mineshaft_Gap
4077th
I just witnessed the sweetest, most adorable thing a guy could do for a girl on a first date.
My friend (who's a bit older in her late 20's) has a little girl whose 5 years old but she's single and shares custody with the father. Anywayyy...
The guy comes over and is as sweet as can be. He brings the girl two bouquets of flowers. One is a beautiful mixed spring flower bouquet and the other is a smaller bouquet for her daughter.
Suuuuuuch a smooth move.
My friend (who's a bit older in her late 20's) has a little girl whose 5 years old but she's single and shares custody with the father. Anywayyy...
The guy comes over and is as sweet as can be. He brings the girl two bouquets of flowers. One is a beautiful mixed spring flower bouquet and the other is a smaller bouquet for her daughter.
Suuuuuuch a smooth move.
PflargBlarg
Member
Yep, it's really cool. One of my closest friends is a girl and we had a sort of double date recently with the girl that I just started dating. All 3 of us (excluding my friend's bf here) have known each other for years already. I think it really does lead to stronger friendships.
Reminds of me that episode of the office where they have the dinner party at michael and jan's house and andy comes with angela and a bouquet of flowers for jan and then andy takes a rose out of the bouquet and gives it to angela and she's like what am I supposed to do with this
What's a good second date? I'm struggling with this.
We had a first date last week and it was a sit down dinner and then a drink at a local pub. It went pretty well. Then I bumped into her at an incredibly noisy bar on Saturday night.
I figure dinner and bowling maybe? I don't want to continue just doing dinner, like to have some fun and not just srs business talking the whole time.
We had a first date last week and it was a sit down dinner and then a drink at a local pub. It went pretty well. Then I bumped into her at an incredibly noisy bar on Saturday night.
I figure dinner and bowling maybe? I don't want to continue just doing dinner, like to have some fun and not just srs business talking the whole time.
Damn, all I had was a baller first kiss.
OJdaKiller
Member
A quick online dating question...
Starting talking to this girl a little over a week ago, few emails, we IM once and have a phone conversation once. All conversations go fine, have plenty to talk about, and we chat for quite a bit in both instances.
Meet her for lunch before she has to go to work. Things in person seem the same as online in that we have good conversation, joke around, etc...
Anyways, I write her back the next day and say it was nice meeting and I'd be up to doing it again if she were interested. She writes me back later that day saying "of course" she'd want to hang out again and that her plans for the evening fell through, she would be at the bar with her friends, and I was welcome to come along if I like.
I didn't really want to hang out with her friends, considering I didn't even know her that well, so I don't go. Write her the next day saying sorry I couldn't make it but we should do something next weekend. Don't hear back from her the next day, so I figure I'd call her today. Phone rings for awhile and eventually goes to voicemail.
At this point, I figure I probably shouldn't have called her, but I can't undo that. Is there anything to take from things so far? Obviously, at this point I'm not contacting her anymore until I first hear something from her.
Starting talking to this girl a little over a week ago, few emails, we IM once and have a phone conversation once. All conversations go fine, have plenty to talk about, and we chat for quite a bit in both instances.
Meet her for lunch before she has to go to work. Things in person seem the same as online in that we have good conversation, joke around, etc...
Anyways, I write her back the next day and say it was nice meeting and I'd be up to doing it again if she were interested. She writes me back later that day saying "of course" she'd want to hang out again and that her plans for the evening fell through, she would be at the bar with her friends, and I was welcome to come along if I like.
I didn't really want to hang out with her friends, considering I didn't even know her that well, so I don't go. Write her the next day saying sorry I couldn't make it but we should do something next weekend. Don't hear back from her the next day, so I figure I'd call her today. Phone rings for awhile and eventually goes to voicemail.
At this point, I figure I probably shouldn't have called her, but I can't undo that. Is there anything to take from things so far? Obviously, at this point I'm not contacting her anymore until I first hear something from her.
tuna on toast
Banned
It's probably already past that point. You just don't know it.
Is dating a super-religious girl who is of a different faith than you a good idea? I'm fairly spiritual with streaks of intensity, but definitely not of the same faith as her.
It's not that I have a problem with her beliefs, but whether or not I'll be a problem for her. We're having our third date soon, so this will have to come up sooner or later.
It's not that I have a problem with her beliefs, but whether or not I'll be a problem for her. We're having our third date soon, so this will have to come up sooner or later.
As long as her faith doesn't effect you, it shouldn't be a problem ;o If you're a problem for her then I wouldn't bother with her.
I have a lot of respect for religious women who follow their faith with integrity. It'll never be a problem for me.
But yes, you are right. I guess I'll bring it up on the next date somehow.
Live Free or Die
Banned
LadyGAF, is it possible for a guy to get out of the friend zone?
Move on
Yes of course. It's not like it's a place where people consciously dump people, relationships are far more nebulous than that. That said, don't dwell on it.
Ladygaf, I find myself in a situation I've never been in before. A girl (Brenda) at my salsaclass really likes, and I really like another girl (Sofia who seems to really like me as well). And I'm kinda clueless. I hope this won't come off as arrogant, but I need some advice. A little background information:
Four months ago I moved to a new city and took salsalessons on fridaynight with a good female friend of mine. Partly to meet new people and perhaps to find 'someone special'. I did meet some cool new people during the first ten lessons (introduction course) but no potential girlfriend. Still had a blast though.
Now I'm going kickboxing on friday, so i moved salsa to tuesday. The first night I get reacquainted with a girl I talked to on Halloween at the salsaclub (Brenda) and meet someone I immediately hit it off with (Sofia). Great chemistry, great dancing, great banter (to the annoyance of the instructor, made me feel like a schoolkid again). The first week she had to leave in a hurry, and I stuck around to talk to the new people in the class.
And ended up having a few beers with Brenda and another guy. The second lesson (last week) I was a bit early and Brenda was already there, so I sat next to her and we started talking. We do have some things in common and she's nice. But for me, nothing more then that (I'll get to this later...yes...there will be a later!). Sofia wasn't there that night, didn't know why). So after the lesson Brenda asks me if I'd like to get a beer. I like beer, I do enjoy her company, so I say yes. After a decent time and one beer I go home. Before asking her if she's coming to the salsaparty on fridaynight at the salsaclub. She said she'd come so I said, see you there.
I also texted some other guys and girls from the first ten lessons, and I went there with my good friend who introduced me to salsa. At the party Brenda was kind of demanding. I don't want to say clingy, that sounds kind of condescending. I danced with a lot of different women (cause that's what you do at a salsaparty) and she seemed upset and asked me to dance ALL the time. When I was talking to people I knew from previous classes, or my friend, she'd interrupt us a lot. Especially when I was talking to Sofia who (to my delight) was also there. Brenda seemed really really disappointed and upset. And I don't like making people feel that way.
So the problem is: I'd like to be able to talk to Sofia and perhaps go out for drinks after. Without getting interrupted by Brenda. On the other hand I don't want to disappoint or hurt Brenda. Perhaps I gave off wrong signals by having a few drinks with her and (sort of?) inviting her to the salsaparty.
I think the reason I don't really like Brenda is because I love the single freedom I have (don't mean sleeping or fucking around, not my thing). I don't like feeling tied down and HAVING to give someone attention. I don't want to give up that freedom unless it's for someone who's worth it. And I really really really like Sofia. Perhaps she might be worth it.
Sorry for the long text, typing it out put some things in perspective, but I could still use some advice
Four months ago I moved to a new city and took salsalessons on fridaynight with a good female friend of mine. Partly to meet new people and perhaps to find 'someone special'. I did meet some cool new people during the first ten lessons (introduction course) but no potential girlfriend. Still had a blast though.
Now I'm going kickboxing on friday, so i moved salsa to tuesday. The first night I get reacquainted with a girl I talked to on Halloween at the salsaclub (Brenda) and meet someone I immediately hit it off with (Sofia). Great chemistry, great dancing, great banter (to the annoyance of the instructor, made me feel like a schoolkid again). The first week she had to leave in a hurry, and I stuck around to talk to the new people in the class.
And ended up having a few beers with Brenda and another guy. The second lesson (last week) I was a bit early and Brenda was already there, so I sat next to her and we started talking. We do have some things in common and she's nice. But for me, nothing more then that (I'll get to this later...yes...there will be a later!). Sofia wasn't there that night, didn't know why). So after the lesson Brenda asks me if I'd like to get a beer. I like beer, I do enjoy her company, so I say yes. After a decent time and one beer I go home. Before asking her if she's coming to the salsaparty on fridaynight at the salsaclub. She said she'd come so I said, see you there.
I also texted some other guys and girls from the first ten lessons, and I went there with my good friend who introduced me to salsa. At the party Brenda was kind of demanding. I don't want to say clingy, that sounds kind of condescending. I danced with a lot of different women (cause that's what you do at a salsaparty) and she seemed upset and asked me to dance ALL the time. When I was talking to people I knew from previous classes, or my friend, she'd interrupt us a lot. Especially when I was talking to Sofia who (to my delight) was also there. Brenda seemed really really disappointed and upset. And I don't like making people feel that way.
So the problem is: I'd like to be able to talk to Sofia and perhaps go out for drinks after. Without getting interrupted by Brenda. On the other hand I don't want to disappoint or hurt Brenda. Perhaps I gave off wrong signals by having a few drinks with her and (sort of?) inviting her to the salsaparty.
I think the reason I don't really like Brenda is because I love the single freedom I have (don't mean sleeping or fucking around, not my thing). I don't like feeling tied down and HAVING to give someone attention. I don't want to give up that freedom unless it's for someone who's worth it. And I really really really like Sofia. Perhaps she might be worth it.
Sorry for the long text, typing it out put some things in perspective, but I could still use some advice
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
It depends, most religious people are fairly strict about how far they will take a relationship with somebody of a different faith before they start proselytizing and promising that they will convert you. Others just don't care. It's pretty black and white.
keeblerdrow
Member
I'm not a LadyGAF, but I have some experience with online dating. What you just experienced right there was a friend pass. She thought you were cute/interesting but there was maybe something that she wasn't sure about OR she was really interested and wanted to double check the butterflies in her stomach. She wants to parade you by her friends and get their opinion of you. You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats 1) his mother and 2) his girlfriend's friends. This was the other part she was checking, most likely. This isn't something that's obvious to surmise and don't feel bad for missing this. Ya blew it.
But don't get too upset, you should be able to recover from this. Letting her make the next move is a good idea for now. In online dating, it's a good thing to put the ball in the other person's court and see how they react. Give her the week to set something up with you. If you don't hear from her by Friday, you may have blown it with the friend pass and you'll need to make "the final effort" as I call it. Make a definite plan, where to eat, something to do, make it interesting. If you can't pin her down for plans with that, move on at that point.
Live Free or Die
Banned
Alrighty. Thanks for the reply.
FallingEdge
Member
Here's a question for LadyGAF. What type of body type do you prefer for your significant other? Average? Fit? Skinny? Muscular? Bigger?
Now then LadyGAF. You're all looking lovely, as usual. Wondered if I could get a word in your collective ears.
Is there ever a 'right' time to be jealous?
I trust my missus. I trust her 100%. I feel that trust is reciprocated. She has male friends, I have female friends. Sometimes our friends mix, sometimes they don't. We're both pretty 'active' people socially so we're often out and about getting drunk, together or apart.
Thing is, I never exhibit any jealousy. I don't care who she's out with, as long as she's safe. I don't care when she comes home, as long as she's safe. I don't care who is texting her, as long as she's happy. I can't help but think that if I'm not careful, that could come across as apathy or ignorance. I don't want her feeling like I don't give a shit if some dude runs off with her, should I occasionally pretend to be jealous?
I might be making a molehill out of a mountain. She's not giving me any reason to suspect that she's feeling unloved, nor is she trying to 'test' my trust at all. Is it possible that she's perfectly content and secure, just as I am?
I've bolded the meat of the question because I appreciate I'm rambling a little here.
Is there ever a 'right' time to be jealous?
I trust my missus. I trust her 100%. I feel that trust is reciprocated. She has male friends, I have female friends. Sometimes our friends mix, sometimes they don't. We're both pretty 'active' people socially so we're often out and about getting drunk, together or apart.
Thing is, I never exhibit any jealousy. I don't care who she's out with, as long as she's safe. I don't care when she comes home, as long as she's safe. I don't care who is texting her, as long as she's happy. I can't help but think that if I'm not careful, that could come across as apathy or ignorance. I don't want her feeling like I don't give a shit if some dude runs off with her, should I occasionally pretend to be jealous?
I might be making a molehill out of a mountain. She's not giving me any reason to suspect that she's feeling unloved, nor is she trying to 'test' my trust at all. Is it possible that she's perfectly content and secure, just as I am?
I've bolded the meat of the question because I appreciate I'm rambling a little here.
Devolution
Member
Muscular and bigger than myself. As much as I want to be my own woman there's something kind of nice about a guy bigger and taller. I'll just blame biology.
I don't think jealousy is the answer to make your feelings known. There are ways of displaying your affection, and ways to make her feel special, that don't involve jealous acts. In fact I think when a guy gets jealous it can't be mistaken for (or usually IS) insecurity. Any woman who is also secure in her and your feelings shouldn't feel like you have to be jealous, overly inquisitive or controlling in order to make it known that you care. I just feel like there are so many healthy ways to display your loyalty and desire for someone why bog it down in negative messages that could convey insecurities and power trips.
Fine
Ehhh
Holy fuck no
BladeWorker
Member
If she gets the distinct impression that these girls are trying to drive a wedge between the two of you.
Okay - well that's fine, I don't think these girls actually have crushes on me - I mean, one - maybe, but I don't think she'll do anything about it. So I should be okay. I'm really into this girl so I really want it to work out. She was over tonight and we made dinner together, and I had to catch myself quite a few times because by some weird instinct or reflex, I wanted to say the L word. But we've been dating for just under 2 months, and I feel like it might be a bit too much to say something like that right now. I mean there is no rush.
That being said, she's done the same thing, I've seen her. I think we're both pretty frickin smittin.
CrudeDiatribe
Member
So say it? I think two months is plenty of time.
After about a month or so, I hedged and said "I think I'm falling in love with you."
She replied "Well, I should hope so!"
11 years together (mostly) in a few weeks. Anecdote win!
Always-honest
Banned
Good question.. I'm exactly the same and i've been wondering the same. I have the feeling me and my gf are just in a perfect understandig about this.
Content i'd say.
shanshan310
Member
I don't see why you should. If she brings it up, just tell her you trust her so its never crossed your mind, or whatever. I don't see how not being jealous could be a bad thing.
I guess it depends on the couple. I don't think I was in love with my boyfriend after two months of being together. I wouldn't put down a time frame to say it in, just whenever feels right.
I guess it depends on the couple. I don't think I was in love with my boyfriend after two months of being together. I wouldn't put down a time frame to say it in, just whenever feels right.
There are three plausible reasons to not feel jealous:
1) Because you have full faith that your partner would never betray you
2) Because even if your partner would betray you, he couldn't get another partner anyway
3) Because you simply don't care enough about your partner to feel jealous. If he cheats, oh well; you can just dump him and find another partner.
The first is likely the reason you are thinking of. The last two are less flattering, and the third in particular is the reason many people seem to court jealousy -- if your man is jealous and protective, it means he cares about you a great deal.
To be clear, I'm not saying this makes jealousy a good thing; I'm trying to explain why some people seem to court jealousy anyway.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Pretty much what Opiate said. I've also had some girls hangout with other guys to try to make the person they're dating jealous because they felt they should be "fighting harder" for them. I really hate the whole thing.
shanshan310
Member
Yeah, I get what you mean. It seems pretty silly though. Why should you be "fighting harder" for someone you are already with. Unless the person is not being affectionate towards you/ ignoring you there is really no cause for concern.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Trust me I don't disagree, when that happened I really wanted to beat my head against a wall. After being with someone for almost a year and you trust them completely they want you to be jealous to "show you care"? I thought the best thing is trust in a relationship and then I saw that. Some people think like that though. :/
Devolution
Member
I think it's a good idea for both people to fight for the other regardless of how much time you've already invested in the relationship. It can be more healthy and less about being possessive though. Taking each other for granted gets easier to do the longer you're with someone.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Ya, but how do you exactly "fight" for someone? There has to be something else than just being jealous right?
CrudeDiatribe
Member
You make dates together. You pay attention to them.
Devolution
Member
But if you're dating someone, wouldn't you be making dates, spending time, and giving attention anyway?
???
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Isn't that just a relationship.... I don't see how that's fighting for someone.
Devolution
Member
It's easy to slow down on these things in a long term relationship. Or treat each other quite "coldly" compared to when the relationship first started.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Ya, but I wouldn't call that "fighting" at all. It really doesn't matter though, it's just a different labeling.
shanshan310
Member
I know what you mean, it can be easy to get swept up in other things and dates start getting more low key. I don't think trying to make them jealous is a good solution even if they aren't treating you right though. Just better communication about what each person wants.
Account Attempt #4
Member
This is great advice, LadyGAF.
I've seen several relationships implode because of this. You can't let the relationship become stagnant because,"Hey we're happy together, right?" Keeping up the spontaneity and a sense of pursuit will never hurt your relationship. I've been married for 11 years and feel quite secure about our relationship but if I let my work, kids, and the many many stresses of real life step on our quality time for too long, it causes insecurities. Keep it fresh (and find time for gaming in there as well).
CrudeDiatribe
Member
Dating? Post dating, serious relationship time.
I've lived with my partner for five years; we've been together for nigh-on-eleven. Before you live together, obstacles to spending time together (time, distance) create passion when you do get together (and if they don't...). After you live together the other person just starts blending into the background of your daily life. It's pleasant, but you have to work at it to get passion, to keep it more than just pleasant.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
What's your ideal body type for men, ladyGAF?
Sanky Panky
Banned
Ok LadyGAf, I'd like your opinion on this...
My gf broke with her first boyfriend of 4 years (they lived together for 3) six months ago (we've been dating for two). I wasn't the rebound guy, and neither of us were really looking for a relationship when love hit us like a ton of bricks. She was the one to bring up the L word, and tells me how I'm better in every way than the ex, that she does with me things she never thought she would do, etc etc. She doesn't miss the ex (at least according to her) BUT...
She's still VERY angry about the break-up. She sais she did love him, and it was a good relationship. It was a case of him telling her how much he loved her, talking about marriage, being happy together, and the next day telling her that he didn't really love her, he said what she wanted to hear, and that he needs to go out there and experience life (aka bang other chicks probably). After the breakup they would still sleep together, and it would mess up with her head.
It affects me because she always says she is scared or having feelings for me (which is understandable), and scared that I would do the same thing. When she gets drunk, she tries to push me away, and of course I don't out up with it, so I only aggravate the situation. I tell her that the only solution is time, but am I deluding myself here? Is there any trigger that will finally go off that she'll forget about that fear?
It doesn't help that her best friends are also best friends with the guy. We ran into him on new year's eve, and he was at a party we went to Saturday. At least Saturday she felt really good that it didn't bother her that he was there, aside from a few awkward moments.
Any advice?
My gf broke with her first boyfriend of 4 years (they lived together for 3) six months ago (we've been dating for two). I wasn't the rebound guy, and neither of us were really looking for a relationship when love hit us like a ton of bricks. She was the one to bring up the L word, and tells me how I'm better in every way than the ex, that she does with me things she never thought she would do, etc etc. She doesn't miss the ex (at least according to her) BUT...
She's still VERY angry about the break-up. She sais she did love him, and it was a good relationship. It was a case of him telling her how much he loved her, talking about marriage, being happy together, and the next day telling her that he didn't really love her, he said what she wanted to hear, and that he needs to go out there and experience life (aka bang other chicks probably). After the breakup they would still sleep together, and it would mess up with her head.
It affects me because she always says she is scared or having feelings for me (which is understandable), and scared that I would do the same thing. When she gets drunk, she tries to push me away, and of course I don't out up with it, so I only aggravate the situation. I tell her that the only solution is time, but am I deluding myself here? Is there any trigger that will finally go off that she'll forget about that fear?
It doesn't help that her best friends are also best friends with the guy. We ran into him on new year's eve, and he was at a party we went to Saturday. At least Saturday she felt really good that it didn't bother her that he was there, aside from a few awkward moments.
Any advice?
triplestation
Member
YO LADYGAF
what do women think of chest hair?
what do women think of chest hair?
shanshan310
Member
Wow that guy sounds kind of awful. Has she spoken to the ex about how she feels about the break up? Maybe she needs to have a vent at him. It could help with closure. Otherwise I'd try and distance her from memories of this guy. Take her different places, show her you are different, and that you aren't going to lie to her. I'm not really sure what else you can do.
I am not a fan of hairy men. Leg hair is fine, but chest and back hair is not for me.
triplestation
Member
Hold on a minute I'm talking a small patch of hair. You know? Just remember we are men. Aw, man. I thought masculinity was chest hair. And that that was supposed to be naturally accepted by women. Would you rather just have a smooth woman rather than a fairly hairy man? Man.. :\
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