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[Devolution]

If you really want to be just friends with these girls then you wouldn't give a fuck if they think you're weird.

Or come in asking for our advice only to tell me that's not how it is, because frankly that's the best way to use our thread. Come in with your own assumptions, not get the answers you're looking for that reinforce whatever you happen to think, then move the goalposts.

I don't think you're happy with being friendzoned scitek, only guys I know who are content with it are self-deluded into thinking that's all they're good for. It will make you bitter, stop settling, get some courage or change up whatever it is that you're doing that is keeping you from getting further with women.

This thing you are doing, it's a total turn off.

 

[scitek]

Might be, might not. How's your batting average for noticing when girls like you? Even if she does like you, doesn't mean she's going to ditch what she's got going on now for you.



Yeah, just be friends. That's really the only way to act around co-workers anyway; blatant advances will just make things weird at work.

I'm pretty sure I have Niceguytis with this one. I think she likely has a crush on me, but nothing past that. Were I to ever make a move, I'd wait until she was single, anyway.

 

[Devolution]

I'm pretty sure I have Niceguytis with this one. I think she likely has a crush on me, but nothing past that. Were I to ever make a move, I'd wait until she was single, anyway.

See post above, making excuses for yourself or pretending like this shit is somehow out of your control, yeah that's going to win a woman over.

 

[scitek]

See post above, making excuses for yourself or pretending like this shit is somehow out of your control, yeah that's going to win a woman over.

Wait a minute now, I really don't care if they think I'm weird or whatever. I only said I'm pretty sure that's not the case. I didn't say anything about caring about how I'm perceived. I was honestly curious as to why the boyfriend mentions were cropping up a lot lately with women I'm not attracted to whatsoever.

 

[BladeWorker]

I'm pretty sure I have Niceguytis with this one. I think she likely has a crush on me, but nothing past that. Were I to ever make a move, I'd wait until she was single, anyway.

If she had a crush on you she wouldn't mention her boyfriend.

When a woman is complimented by her peers, she often takes it to heart. She's not wearing her hair for you, she's wearing her hair a certain way because she knows other people perceive her well in so doing.

Your initial instinct is right, you're sending out signals that you're interested that set off a signal in your co-workers' heads that you're coming on strong. As you, yourself suggested, backing off is the appropriate course of action.

If only because it's unprofessional to flirt with your co-workers on company time.

 

[toastyToast]

Wait a minute now, I really don't care if they think I'm weird or whatever. I only said I'm pretty sure that's not the case. I didn't say anything about caring about how I'm perceived. I was honestly curious as to why the boyfriend mentions were cropping up a lot lately with women I'm not attracted to whatsoever.

It means don't get the wrong idea.

 

[Timedog]

Wait a minute now, I really don't care if they think I'm weird or whatever. I only said I'm pretty sure that's not the case. I didn't say anything about caring about how I'm perceived. I was honestly curious as to why the boyfriend mentions were cropping up a lot lately with women I'm not attracted to whatsoever.

If you want to mitigate any further damage, I'd just drop it, dude, or at least be more real. Seriously, my brain is melting out of my ears. If you learn to be more honest with yourself that's at least the beginnings to you having better luck with women. Quit trying to protect some image you have of yourself.

 

[scitek]

If only because it's unprofessional to flirt with your co-workers on company time.

Good post. I agree with you. This is a part-time job I took on for some extra cash, but that doesn't matter, you're right.

It means don't get the wrong idea.

Exactly what I figures it meant. Thanks for replying.

If you want to mitigate any further damage, I'd just drop it, dude, or at least be more real. Seriously, my brain is melting out of my ears. If you learn to be more honest with yourself that's at least the beginnings to you having better luck with women. Quit trying to protect some image you have of yourself.

Ok Timedog, I'll be real. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, obviously, and am guilty of looking like an assclown while pretending I don't give a fuck if no woman ever shows interest in me again.

I need help helping myself, and I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit it. (With my real pic up, no less!)

Losing over 100 lbs. was easy compared to this stuff.

How's that?

 

[CountAntonius]

I need help helping myself, and I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit it. (With my real pic up, no less!)

Just don't over think anything. Do positive things for yourself. Be friendly but don't take them being friendly back as anymore than just that. Just relax and let things happen naturally.

 

[Fou-Lu]

I'm kinda at a loss here, my best friend (Who is female of course, there's a reason I'm posting in this thread) has been generally ignoring me and being snappy at me for a while now. When I questioned her on it she just said she'd been in a bad mood due to lack of sleep, getting sick, stress from school and work, etc. I'd have been willing to believe that, except she's only acting like this with me, with everyone else she's her normal bubbly, happy self, usually when she's in a bad mood everyone knows it, and everyone feels it. Hell, normally she gives any friend she sees a hug, she no longer hugs me, hasn't stopped her from hugging all her other friends.

So did I do something wrong? (I'm guessing yes...) And if I did why the heck does she go through the trouble to make excuses instead of just telling me she's pissed at me? I honestly can't think of anything I did.

 

[scitek]

Just don't over think anything. Do positive things for yourself. Be friendly but don't take them being friendly back as anymore than just that. Just relax and let things happen naturally.

Honestly (surprise!), I'm rarely anywhere that I can meet someone new apart from work, and most women I do meet aren't single, so it's tough.

EDIT: That's excuse-making again. I guess I should shutup and take some initiative or things will never change.

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

I'm rarely anywhere that I can meet someone new apart from work, and most women I do meet aren't single, so it's tough.

Yeah, it's hard. Anytime you get invited out somewhere, go. Eventually you will meet eligible women.

 

[CountAntonius]

Honestly (surprise!), I'm rarely anywhere that I can meet someone new apart from work, and most women I do meet aren't single, so it's tough.

EDIT: That's excuse-making again. I guess I should shutup and take some initiative or things will never change.

There ya go. Also take your time. There's no rush.

 

[scitek]

Yeah, it's hard. Anytime you get invited out somewhere, go. Eventually you will meet eligible women.

Ha, as soon as I read this I got an invite to a party this weekend one of the girls from work's having. Guess I'll go.

 

[Ezalc]

Devo what happened to the creep-atar?

 

[Devolution]

Devo what happened to the creep-atar.

Niners lost is what happened.

 

[scitek]

BTW, guys. Thanks.

 

[Acid08]

Ha, as soon as I read this I got an invite to a party this weekend one of the girls from work's having. Guess I'll go.

This attitude won't help you. Be excited to go, be happy people like you and are inviting you to things.

 

[scitek]

This attitude won't help you. Be excited to go, be happy people like you and are inviting you to things.

Oh, I am, but good point. I'll especially appreciate it more while I'm there. I thought the timing was funny.

 

[BladeWorker]

I'm kinda at a loss here, my best friend (Who is female of course, there's a reason I'm posting in this thread) has been generally ignoring me and being snappy at me for a while now. When I questioned her on it she just said she'd been in a bad mood due to lack of sleep, getting sick, stress from school and work, etc. I'd have been willing to believe that, except she's only acting like this with me, with everyone else she's her normal bubbly, happy self, usually when she's in a bad mood everyone knows it, and everyone feels it. Hell, normally she gives any friend she sees a hug, she no longer hugs me, hasn't stopped her from hugging all her other friends.

So did I do something wrong? (I'm guessing yes...) And if I did why the heck does she go through the trouble to make excuses instead of just telling me she's pissed at me? I honestly can't think of anything I did.

If you're best buds a few things could be at work here:

1) You're actually seeing the real her, who is exhausted and stressed and isn't going to put on airs for you, even though she will for anyone and everyone else;

2) You have done something that shouldn't really warrant her being pissed, she knows it, and is mad at herself for being pissed and just projecting onto you;

3) She's developed some kind of feeling for you beyond friendship and is fighting it;

4) She's starting to outgrow your friendship but doesn't want to hurt you (or doesn't realize that this is what the issue is);

5) You have done something reprehensible, but don't even realize how much so, and she wants to give you the opportunity to fess up and own it, and she's frustrated that you haven't yet (friends want to believe the best of their friends).

Regardless, your best option may be to back off for a couple weeks, and then reach out. If you miss her (it's fair to miss friends) let her know and indicate that you'd like to figure things out with her and understand what happened.

Until you have that conversation, stop wracking your brain trying to figure out what you might have done. It won't help your stress levels, which won't help any eventual conversation the two of you do have.

 

[RawPower]

This thread could really do me some good. I'll copy and paste two of my posts from the Dating Age thread that pretty much sum up my current position.

I guess now is my chance to ask for some help. If anyone needs it, there is no doubt that I'm one of them.

I'm 25 years old (26 next month) and yet I've never had a girlfriend in my life. I am hardly what you would call a "normal" (whatever that means) guy. I have Asperger's syndrome, and this has made it exponentially harder for me to even carry a conversation with a girl. I frequently lose my train of thought and have trouble composing thoughts and sentences in an expedient manner. As a result, I've never had many friends before, and over the years this has pushed me further and further towards isolationism.

As far as being successful? Well, I'm not. I still haven't obtained my Associate's degree, mostly due to a lack of money to pay for school, inability to find a job (see above), and personal problems have all held me back. As for my appearance, I'm pretty much your typical hardcore punk/metal dude. Some might see that as an immediate turn off, but it's who I am, and I can't see myself being any other way.

Settling for women who are more like me sounds like the logical thing to do, but naturally it gets far more complicated than that. I'm more of a "weirdo" that's into girls that are more normal. The girls in my "clique" are usually either disgusting drug addicts, really loose, loud and obnoxious, dumber than balsa wood, or some unappealing admixture of those things. As for me, I stay away from drugs, alcohol, promiscuous sex (or "straight edge" for those in the know), I'm still looking for a career that I will truly enjoy, I'm an aspiring musician, and I know that I'm not a shithead. There's just a lot of things standing in my way and I'm not always sure how to tackle those issues.

I'll take any advice I can get, really.

 

[Fusion Pizza]

LadyGAF, I come in search of your counsel.

So I recently saw a friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while, (2-3) months. Last time I saw her she was going through a pretty rough breakup with a mutual friend. I was visiting them in fact when the whole breakup started to turn really ugly, nothing violent or abusive, just you know, breakup ugliness.

Anyways, me and this girl have been pretty close, but it's always been platonic. As of recently seeing her, I'm thinking her feelings might have changed, I've noticed subtle things like her moving into my personal space, longer hugging, physical contact, (hand on the back, head on a shoulder while on a couch) held my hand a few times and a kiss on the cheek.

So, is she into me?

 

[Count Dookkake]

- old friend has recently become single

- had the hots for her years ago, but we were both involved with others

- went our separate ways, but a few months ago we started hanging out occasionally via mutual friends

- she is more or less perfect for me (yes, I know that there are many "perfect" partners)

- What is best tactic/timeline to approach? I don't normally try to initiate with friends and I would prefer not to eff this up. I am willing to go as fast or slow as recommended.

 

[BladeWorker]

I'll take any advice I can get, really.

Are you seeing a counsellor or speaking with someone who can help you develop strategies to manage your symptoms? You don't have to answer that - the question is out there because I suspect working with someone with experience in what you're dealing with will be better equipped to help you.

Supplementary: attitude is key - "settling" for people who are like you is a negative attitude. People who are like you in personality, tastes, and outlook are people with whom you're more likely to be compatible - I wouldn't call that settling. I'd call that success.

If you're not satisfied with the people in your current social circle, though, branching out into something new might allow you to meet a fresh group of people. And, it might also help you find something that brings you more focus and calm. That inner sense of calm and being comfortable with yourself will project outward in the form of confidence, which will help you converse and form bonds with women in whom you're interested.

Once you get that far, it's just a matter of trying to find the right words to suit the situation you're in to lock down that first date - which is as simple, or as hard, as you let it be.

LadyGAF, I come in search of your counsel.
...
So, is she into me?

Sure sounds like it.

Watch for signs of rebounding - early clingyness, emotional yo-yo-ing, frequent comparisons to her ex.

Otherwise, proceed. Good luck!

- old friend has recently become single

- had the hots for her years ago, but we were both involved with others

- went our separate ways, but a few months ago we started hanging out occasionally via mutual friends

- she is more or less perfect for me (yes, I know that there are many "perfect" partners)

- What is best tactic/timeline to approach? I don't normally try to initiate with friends and I would prefer not to eff this up. I am willing to go as fast or slow as recommended.

Well hooray for better timing!

Approach her when you're in a "safe zone" for both of you - somewhere public but secluded enough that you can have a private conversation. Out for a walk in a park, something something.

Speak casually, but honestly, about the past - some fun time that you shared together or something. Continue:

And, now it seems you're both single.

And, you're both cool people. So, why don't you get to know each other - like a date or something - as your present cool selves?

Make a suggestion as to time and place - something that would be different than the standard coffee, but not so innovative that you're "married" to it, so to speak. Then go for it! If she says no, well, then you'll just have to keep looking for those other perfect people, because surely one of them will appreciate your thought.

Good luck, Count!

 

[subversus]

Armpit hair *is* natural. That's why it grows there. Generally, however, because there's a cultural preference toward infantilism of women, we shave. And pluck, and wax, and epilate, and laser treat.

As for chest hair on men? Not that big of a deal. Keep it clean, though.

Wait, what? Do you mean there is a cultural preference for underage girls??? Because that is what comes to mind first when you say "no hair" and "infantilism of women". I hate that "shave everything" trend btw, but don't really mind it when it comes to sex even though from aestetics point of view it doesn't look very well to me. It reminds me of mannequins or lab clones from sci-fi movies.

 

[Zoe]

Dunno about anyone else, but I shave for me. I couldn't care less what the bf thinks. I prefer how shaved legs and underarms feel.

 

[windowlurker]

Devo, I get what you're trying to preach. But I'm pretty sure once everyone gets past the trying-to-act-normal phase around each other, and just be yourself, weird and all - much better relationship.

 

[grumble]

Wait, what? Do you mean there is a cultural preference for underage girls??? Because that is first what comes to mind when you say "no hair" and "infantilism of women". I hate that shave everything trend btw, but don't really mind it when it comes to sex even though from aestetics point of view it doesn't look very well to me. It reminds me of mannequins or lab clones from sci-fi movies.

Yeah, that comment caught my eye too. I don't think that the purpose is to make women seem like children. There are other possible reasons (perceived hygiene, biological tendency for women to have less hair making less hair seem desirable as something more feminine, sexual benefits, a certain 'clean lines' aesthetic appeal, etc) but not to make women seem not grown up.

By the same metric you'd say manscaping is intended to make men seem like children, which isn't true either.

 

[Hunter S.]

Should I marry a hot, rich foreigner just for money and great sex? I probably would hate living with her, but there are many perks. I'm serious, my attraction to non-Americans has put me in this position twice now.

 

[RawPower]

Are you seeing a counsellor or speaking with someone who can help you develop strategies to manage your symptoms? You don't have to answer that - the question is out there because I suspect working with someone with experience in what you're dealing with will be better equipped to help you.

Yes, and I take medicine for my ailments. They help, but we haven't found anything better yet.

Supplementary: attitude is key - "settling" for people who are like you is a negative attitude. People who are like you in personality, tastes, and outlook are people with whom you're more likely to be compatible - I wouldn't call that settling. I'd call that success.

My philosophy has always been to find someone to compliment my personality, not replicate it. Not saying she has to be a polar opposite (that would also be bad), but I would prefer if she wasn't too much like me either. Otherwise, I might as well just paint lipstick on my mirror, date that, and be done with it. I also feel as though it would lead to problems, because having my positive traits could also entail carrying my negative ones as well (and they ARE pretty fucking negative). I'm not bitter or ashamed of who I am. It's just the hand I've been dealt. But I feel like it would help me a great deal to have someone at my side who isn't as fundamentally fucked up as I am.

Maybe I'm asking for too much, but I hope not. It's just how I feel.

If you're not satisfied with the people in your current social circle, though, branching out into something new might allow you to meet a fresh group of people. And, it might also help you find something that brings you more focus and calm. That inner sense of calm and being comfortable with yourself will project outward in the form of confidence, which will help you converse and form bonds with women in whom you're interested.

Once you get that far, it's just a matter of trying to find the right words to suit the situation you're in to lock down that first date - which is as simple, or as hard, as you let it be.

I agree, and I'm looking for extra hobbies to take up as we speak. I've tried photography, and I enjoyed that. I enjoy travel, or at least I would if I had the money to do so.

 

[Jin34]

@scitek: nice to see you have started on your way man. Step 1 is always stripping yourself of whatever bullshit you tell yourself.

I look at some of you girl-age gaffers that say you don't know where to start and I think to myself: "these guys are already way ahead of where I had to come from". I was someone who was so timid and had so little self-esteem coming out of high school that I barely even talked when being with my close friends, my walls were that big. So you can imagine how bad it was with girls, pretty much being that creep "nice guy" who throws himself pity parties and wonders why girls are so stupid that they go for assholes, basically one of those stupid sexist nerd guys here. Good friends can be a great help, but ultimately it is you that has to realize that YOU are the problem and not others or women or the world and that can be very hard to realize.

Are there assholes and douche bags with girls out there? Yes but what mostly happens to you is that what you perceive as bad guys are just dudes being funny/smart asses but lacking the experience, and being frustrated, don't understand that it's all about context and tone. This is something that I see a lot here on gaf and can be something that takes a while to pick up on for some people.

Now I'm not going to lie and say it will be easy, on the contrary; it can be a very long, hard and painful road depending from how far back you are coming from. There will be rejections, they will hurt. There will be embarrassing moments you will want to forget, they will hurt. You will get frustrated, angry and all sorts of negative emotions from time to time but you just have to use that as fuel to improve yourself, energy to exercise, creative endeavors, etc. Because at the end of the day you only have two choices: you either go through it or join forever alone gaf throwing each other pity parties for the rest of your life and make no mistake; it's those bad personalities that are the problem and if you don't improve them you are fucked. You have to become confident, funny (some of you probably are but don't show it) and just generally a person that people like to be around and then put yourself in the situations that let you show these qualities.

I had to go through all of that and I was recently letting something that happened to me drag me back down to that level but I'm like: "what the fuck? I went through all that work to let this thing put me back into feeling sorry for myself? Hell Fucking No. Enough of that bullshit". And you just smack some sense into yourself again, get over it, move on and just take the positives out of it. And that's what you guys are going to have to do when shit happens to you because feeling sorry for yourself will get you not a damn thing but bullshit excuses to faux comfort yourself and then you will be right back to fooling yourself.

 

[Devolution]

Devo, I get what you're trying to preach. But I'm pretty sure once everyone gets past the trying-to-act-normal phase around each other, and just be yourself, weird and all - much better relationship.

More like people won't help themselves just being content with settling for less because they're that afraid of rejection.

 

[blame space]

http://forum.grasscity.com/general/...-girls-perspective-get-your-s-answered**.html

 

[RawPower]

I should also add that I'm not necessarily afraid of rejection so much as I just don't know how to initiate conversation with her, or even where to do it. I have no wit and I'm not fast on my feet, mostly due to my aforementioned disabilities. I just don't really know what to say to her and when.

 

[BladeWorker]

My philosophy has always been to find someone to compliment my personality, not replicate it. Not saying she has to be a polar opposite (that would also be bad), but I would prefer if she wasn't too much like me either. Otherwise, I might as well just paint lipstick on my mirror, date that, and be done with it. I also feel as though it would lead to problems, because having my positive traits could also entail carrying my negative ones as well (and they ARE pretty fucking negative). I'm not bitter or ashamed of who I am. It's just the hand I've been dealt. But I feel like it would help me a great deal to have someone at my side who isn't as fundamentally fucked up as I am.

Maybe I'm asking for too much, but I hope not. It's just how I feel.

Sounds like a decent philosophy to me. And you're right, dating your mirror image is ... more challenging than it should be based on theoretical compatibility.

I am getting the sense that you have a dry sense of humour. You may know this already, but develop it and use it to your advantage. People who can keep up with it will challenge you in good ways.

Edit: as for knowing what to say, find a circumstance-based topic. If you're in a bookstore, talk about a book. If you're in a photography class, talk about a subject or location that turned out really well for you. Use circumstance to your advantage.

Hell, even if your subjects are only connected in your mind (I tend to make logical leaps that make sense to no-one but me, until I explain them) it provides enough intrigue for someone to respond "come again?" Every question is an open door.

 

[Liquid_015]

Lady GAF,

Is buying gifts for a crush that I have on this girl in college too much? I've bought her a plush toy in NYC, nail polish, and some milky way projector in Hong Kong. Got her the milky way projector thing because she is into science, and nail polish because recently since last semester she has been using it.

 

[PflargBlarg]

Lady GAF,

Is buying gifts for a crush that I have on this girl in college too much? I've bought her a plush toy in NYC, nail polish, and some milky way projector in Hong Kong. Got her the milky way projector thing because she is into science, and nail polish because recently since last semester she has been using it.

Oh man, no. No random gifts unless you're actually girlfriend and boyfriend. Do not give those to her.

 

[Liquid_015]

Oh man, no. No random gifts unless you're actually girlfriend and boyfriend. Do not give those to her.

-__-'' I already kinda did a while back... Well, here's the entire story: Ask my crush for assistance for an art project I was working on, needed her to record her talking. We naturally started conversations to try and get her thinking about what to say for my project, and well she hasn't really travelled outside of the U.S and she said that she has "agents to travel on her behalf". And during dinner, I asked if she wanted anything from Hong Kong, and she said something that she can put on her desk and well I got her some stuff as noted above. We've known each other for a while now...

 

[PflargBlarg]

-__-'' I already kinda did a while back... Well, here's the entire story: Ask my crush for assistance for an art project I was working on, needed her to record her talking. We naturally started conversations to try and get her thinking about what to say for my project, and well she hasn't really travelled outside of the U.S and she said that she has "agents to travel on her behalf". And during dinner, I asked if she wanted anything from Hong Kong, and she said something that she can put on her desk and well I got her some stuff as noted above. We've known each other for a while now...

Ok, that's still manageable. At least it wasn't gifts out of the blue. But if you continue like this without making any moves you've got a one way ticket to the friendzone coming your way. Look, there are certain facts here.

1. There is a girl.
2. You are interested in her.
3. The longer you wait and do friendy things, the more likely it is you are going to drift further away from the dateable zone.

Conclusion: Ask her out already.

I'm sure ladygaf can also have some input on this.

 

[RawPower]

Sounds like a decent philosophy to me. And you're right, dating your mirror image is ... more challenging than it should be based on theoretical compatibility.

I am getting the sense that you have a dry sense of humour. You may know this already, but develop it and use it to your advantage. People who can keep up with it will challenge you in good ways.

Edit: as for knowing what to say, find a circumstance-based topic. If you're in a bookstore, talk about a book. If you're in a photography class, talk about a subject or location that turned out really well for you. Use circumstance to your advantage.

Hell, even if your subjects are only connected in your mind (I tend to make logical leaps that make sense to no-one but me, until I explain them) it provides enough intrigue for someone to respond "come again?" Every question is an open door.

Reaction time is a big problem. The only reason my posts on here make even a shred of sense is because I have more time allotted to compose my thoughts in an orderly manner. In person, I feel like I'm just barely comprehensible, and my delayed responses would probably come off as nervousness.

 

[Liquid_015]

Ok, that's still manageable. At least it wasn't gifts out of the blue. But if you continue like this without making any moves you've got a one way ticket to the friendzone coming your way. Look, there are certain facts here.

1. There is a girl.
2. You are interested in her.
3. The longer you wait and do friendy things, the more likely it is you are going to drift further away from the dateable zone.

Conclusion: Ask her out already.

I'm sure ladygaf can also have some input on this.

I think I have already managed myself into the FriendZone, since we know each other for quite a while and the things that happened I guess.

 

[Zoe]

I think I have already managed myself into the FriendZone, since we know each other for quite a while and the things that happened I guess.

The "friend zone" is not unescapable.

 

[Liquid_015]

The "friend zone" is not unescapable.

I've been trying to tell myself that, but I have no idea what the hell I can do to escape the "friendzone". Sometimes, I feel like I am just a "second class" citizen in her eyes.

 

[Mordeccai]

I have a question for lady gaf. How does one socialize with the female gender at a college party, and still come off as sexually charged w/o being creepy?

Too many times have I gone to a party, made girls laugh, and been seen as nothing but friend material, or somebody to laugh at while drunk. I mean, what does it take for you girls to take me seriously!

I guess my main party method is to show up, drink a few beers, and just jump into conversations. I'm complimentary, goofy, and I'd say I'm coming across as confident as well.

 

[BladeWorker]

Reaction time is a big problem. The only reason my posts on here make even a shred of sense is because I have more time allotted to compose my thoughts in an orderly manner. In person, I feel like I'm just barely comprehensible, and my delayed responses would probably come off as nervousness.

Wit comes with practice. It took me years to even get as far as I am, and I still need all my fingers and toes to count my doofus moments just this month.

You'll get there, if you give yourself a chance.

 

[Black-Box]

I've been trying to tell myself that, but I have no idea what the hell I can do to escape the "friendzone". Sometimes, I feel like I am just a "second class" citizen in her eyes.

I think you have to be hot, to get out of the friendzoned, my friend who has friendzoned me, use to date guys based on looks, and dated bad guys, than she had enough and dated someone more like me...compared to her exs..but shes odd

but ya,being friendzoned, and being ignored by other girls, I just feel like I am a horrible person

 

[Black-Box]

Lady-Gaf wisdom please

Theres this girl, idk if I like, but there are things a like, but than theres things that I don't like, the things I dislike is, she is very tall. not skinny but also she isnt like huge because shes tall. also hairy arms,, what I like is shes good at art, and shes fun to talk to, now am I making mountains out of mold hills, and I am finding reasons not to like her? also shes in the same classes as me, so I think that could just ruin anything if we even did date

 

[Devolution]

I have a question for lady gaf. How does one socialize with the female gender at a college party, and still come off as sexually charged w/o being creepy?

Too many times have I gone to a party, made girls laugh, and been seen as nothing but friend material, or somebody to laugh at while drunk. I mean, what does it take for you girls to take me seriously!

I guess my main party method is to show up, drink a few beers, and just jump into conversations. I'm complimentary, goofy, and I'd say I'm coming across as confident as well.

Just how naughty do you get with your flirting? Feel it out a bit with some women. We're all different and you might get a prude here and there but try getting a little more perverted and assertive. If you can tell she's getting uncomfortable back off right away.

Lady-Gaf wisdom please

Theres this girl, idk if I like, but there are things a like, but than theres things that I don't like, the things I dislike is, she is very tall. not skinny but also she isnt like huge because shes tall. also hairy arms,, what I like is shes good at art, and shes fun to talk to, now am I making mountains out of mold hills, and I am finding reasons not to like her? also shes in the same classes as me, so I think that could just ruin anything if we even did date

A lot of us have hairy arms but I'm lucky enough that they're not too dark. Sounds like you're being shallow, are you afraid of how you'll be perceived by being with her or something? Otherwise why does she need to fit such a mold.

 

[RawPower]

Here's a question I asked in another thread. Hopefully nobody takes this the wrong way.

I have another question. Is being a success, financially speaking, an important factor (or even a factor at all) in attracting women? I've heard it bandied about that this somewhat plays into the confidence factor (usually through anecdotes, and some from personal experience), and this kind of worries me a little. Honestly, I don't know if I'd want anything to do with someone who would drop me in an instant just because I'm going through a rough spot at the time, or because I'm not the absolute breadwinner.

I hope that didn't sound sexist. I do not want to offend anyone, or get banned.

I really, really do not want a relationship that is based on money. Unfortunately, for many people (guys and girls) money is very important. I want to avoid this, because I'm afraid of being taken advantage of should I one day find success. Any advice?

 

[Devolution]

Here's a question I asked in another thread. Hopefully nobody takes this the wrong way.



I really, really do not want a relationship that is based on money. Unfortunately, for many people (guys and girls) money is very important. I want to avoid this, because I'm afraid of being taken advantage of should I one day find success. Any advice?

I think you're putting the cart before the horse if you're this worried about finances in a relationship. Stability is attractive. Being able to take someone out and show them a good time is attractive. Whether or not someone is a gold digger, well you'll have to date them more than once to find out typically. What else is there to say.