• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Lemurnator... you've got it easy: masturbating bros.

Status
Not open for further replies.
R

radioheadrule83

Banned
... not

Okay, things sound pretty bad with your brother, but my brothers keep coming into my room and looking at "anal" related porn. They seem particularly taken with "blacks on blondes"

I tried to walk in my OWN room the other day to cries of "I'm getting changed!"

To which I responded:

"In my fucking room!?!?!"

..and an urge to vomit internally.

My room is a jizz and sweat fest. I feel that someone needs to be killed. Possibly myself if I can't bring order. What do you guys suggest?

Thom
 
R

radioheadrule83

Banned
They are WISE. I've got em on underling status on WinXp, and Zone Alarmed most this shit they look at, YET THEY KNOW HOW TO CIRCUMVENT ME!

They are a credit to my family... but it urks me that they wank in my humble abode.
 
R

retardboy

Member
Yeah, put a damn password on it. Then put a program called Transparent Screen Lock on it so that if you leave it on, it'll still be protected. That's how I got out of the exact same situation as you. Or, just put a freaken lock on your door and lock it every time you leave.
 
R

radioheadrule83

Banned
Drozmight said:
Just hit the windows key plus L to lock your computer when you leave.
Click to expand...

It's a family computer. It's equally owned. Even when I lock it on my log-in and tell them the machine is doing something essential before I leave the house, they just reset and masturbate to their hearts content while I'm away. I wish I could make it explode their genitals... Alas, poor yorick, they masturbate unpunished. And my room smells of fun.
 
L

Lemurnator

Banned
radioheadrule83 said:
... not

Okay, things sound pretty bad with your brother, but my brothers keep coming into my room and looking at "anal" related porn. They seem particularly taken with "blacks on blondes"

I tried to walk in my OWN room the other day to cries of "I'm getting changed!"

To which I responded:

"In my fucking room!?!?!"

..and an urge to vomit internally.

My room is a jizz and sweat fest. I feel that someone needs to be killed. Possibly myself if I can't bring order. What do you guys suggest?

Thom
Click to expand...

I used to have to use the same computer, keyboard, mouse, ect. ect. that I've caught my brother jacking off on COUNTLESS times.

My brothers room is also a jizz and sweat fest.

Keep in mind that I have several brothers and only one sister. 2 year old brother, 12 year old brother, asshole oldest brother, 18 year old brother, 16 year old sister (huge family, I know :-/), don't think for one second with all those people that my siblings don't do fucked up shit in my room and all over the house. I've gone into my room before and seen my entire underware drawer which has my panties and socks all folded neatly together in complete disarray. My 12 year old brother said that he saw my 2 year old brother do it but my underware drawer is the top drawer. My sister steals my clothes and bras :-/ whenever her shit isn't clean. All of my brothers and sister, stepdad, mom walk into my room without knocking, sometimes at unfortunate times.

Oh yeah, and I've caught my 12 year old brother "getting dressed" in my room all the time. I've gone into the computer room several times and found on the table, pieces of paper or tissues with brownish dried cumstains on them.

YOU DO NOT HAVE IT WORSE. I live with the most disgusting people ever.
 
R

radioheadrule83

Banned
Lemurnator said:
I used to have to use the same computer, keyboard, mouse, ect. ect. that I've caught my brother jacking off on COUNTLESS times.

My brothers room is also a jizz and sweat fest.

Keep in mind that I have several brothers and only one sister. 2 year old brother, 12 year old brother, asshole oldest brother, 18 year old brother, 16 year old sister (huge family, I know :-/), don't think for one second with all those people that my siblings don't do fucked up shit in my room and all over the house. I've gone into my room before and seen my entire underware drawer which has my panties and socks all folded neatly together in complete disarray. My 12 year old brother said that he saw my 2 year old brother do it but my underware drawer is the top drawer. My sister steals my clothes and bras :-/ whenever her shit isn't clean. All of my brothers and sister, stepdad, mom walk into my room without knocking, sometimes at unfortunate times.

Oh yeah, and I've caught my 12 year old brother "getting dressed" in my room all the time. I've gone into the computer room several times and found on the table, pieces of paper or tissues with brownish dried cumstains on them.

YOU DO NOT HAVE IT WORSE. I live with the most disgusting people ever.
Click to expand...

OK... You win. Your brothers/family want you. Nice in some ways, fucked up in a many million others.

brownish is bad. But what do you do about it?
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
Brown? I'm not even going there (literally).

These guys are so weak, I've never been caught. Where are their ninja reflexes at?
 
R

radioheadrule83

Banned
Not as good as my ninja skills. I sneak up the stairs.... whenever my oldest (of my two younger) bros is not listening to music, I suspect foul mastabatory play. Then I tell him he's fuckin scum and to leave my room... but it's no deterrant. Physical... possibly illegal.. abuse is needed.

None of that shit he's into of course. Scumbag. I wish I could be proud...
 
L

Lemurnator

Banned
hXc_thugg said:
I meant it being brown.
Click to expand...

I don't look hard, it's not brown it's just gross, I can tell it's dried cum. Ugh... thinking about it makes me sick.

It's dried cum, what color it is, I don't know how to explain.
 
H

hXc_thugg

Member
Lemurnator said:
I don't look hard, it's not brown it's just gross, I can tell it's dried cum. Ugh... thinking about it makes me sick.

It's dried cum, what color it is, I don't know how to explain.
Click to expand...

I feel you. Respek.
 
M

Megafoo Chavez

I love EGM
Sometimes I dig the anal sometimes i don't through. Black on blonde...interesting....Sometimes little kids will watch black on porn. They feel comfortable watching the female take it from a big black penis. They can safely fantasize about how they wish they were taking it from that big steamship because they feel comfortable not watching the gay porn he really wishes he was getting for christmas.
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
Megafoo Chavez said:
Sometimes I dig the anal sometimes i don't through. Black on blonde...interesting....Sometimes little kids will watch black on porn. They feel comfortable watching the female take it from a big black penis. They can safely fantasize about how they wish they were taking it from that big steamship because they feel comfortable not watching the gay porn he really wishes he was getting for christmas.
Click to expand...

Ah, the voice of experience.
 
L

Lemurnator

Banned
Mama Smurf said:
So do you reckon your 12 year old brother wants you or wants to be you? Choices choices...
Click to expand...

I think he's 12, and he wants to look at my panties... because he's 12 and 12 year old boys are vile. I made a thread about it when it happened on WebMD back before they banned everyone under 18 and people said that it's to be expected since he's now curious about teh females.

I don't know if people were bullshitting me or if that really is normal but to me, it's still fucked up and I want to smash his face in for doing it. I can't feel that any of my stuff is safe since nobody RESPECTS THE BOUNDRIES OF MY ROOM. I can't say that I've ever looked through my brothers underware drawer. Or done any of the other things that I suspect one of my brothers might have done that I can't be sure about.
 
R

radioheadrule83

Banned
Lemurnator said:
I think he's 12, and he wants to look at my panties... because he's 12 and 12 year old boys are vile. I made a thread about it when it happened on WebMD back before they banned everyone under 18 and people said that it's to be expected since he's now curious about teh females.

I don't know if people were bullshitting me or if that really is normal but to me, it's still fucked up and I want to smash his face in for doing it. I can't feel that any of my stuff is safe since nobody RESPECTS THE BOUNDRIES OF MY ROOM. I can't say that I've ever looked through my brothers underware drawer. Or done any of the other things that I suspect one of my brothers might have done that I can't be sure about.
Click to expand...

We have similar feelings about boundaries. My older sister probably feels the same too, and I've always respected that...

I think there probably is some normalcy to what our degenerate siblings are doing though. It must be kinda common... I assume you're half way across the world from me, and it seems to have happened to you. Only worse. Or as much.. I dunno. My bros aren't sniffing my underwear... thankfully

Hope things with your older bro work out. Puttin any of em on the street - as much sense as that may make - may not go well.. anyhoo, I'm drnk. Adios
 
D

Do The Mario

Unconfirmed Member
What I did is using windows 2000 is turn the screen saver on with a custom message saying

“This is my bedroom have some fucking respect”

And had it password protected
 
L

Lemurnator

Banned
Do The Mario said:
What I did is using windows 2000 is turn the screen saver on with a custom message saying

“This is my bedroom have some fucking respect”

And had it password protected
Click to expand...

My brother has something on disk that surpasses the passwords. He's computer savvy. :-/
 
R

radioheadrule83

Banned
Naked Shuriken said:
Radiohead, log and print their web usage. Expose the situation at the sunday evening family dinner.
Click to expand...

I've half done this. I shown my MOTHER evidence of his anal loving ways, to which she was putrified... but she somehow found it in her heart to forgive and forget.... next up is my dad. Who will either pat him on the back or murder him...

Lemurnator said:
My brother has something on disk that surpasses the passwords. He's computer savvy. :-/
Click to expand...

Other way around here. Not only do my bros not even try to hide their perverse ways, they are totally incapable of doing so. Sometimes they delete their history but I have a log that refreshes every once in a while, and DC++ keeps a log of all downloads on my desktop.... which is inaccessible to them because it's protected @ administrator level. They could get into my account if they knew how to use l0pht or something, but they don't so yay to me. Nay to their insatiable interracial anal loving desires.
 
S

shuri

Banned
radioheadrule83 said:
I've half done this. I shown my MOTHER evidence of his anal loving ways, to which she was putrified... but she somehow found it in her heart to forgive and forget.... next up is my dad. Who will either pat him on the back or murder him...
Click to expand...

Yes, and dont forget to mention that he whacks off in your room all the time. And add that he leaves discarded used kleenex all over the place.

edit: wait, your two brothers WHACK OFF TOGETHER while watching anal interracial porn? Do not forget to mention this fact to Dad.
 
N

NLB2

Banned
They're your brothers which gives you the right to beat the shit out of them, so next time one of them is jerkng off in your room, wait patiently and then when he finishes and cleans up, beat the shit out of him. That's what I would do at least.
 
J

Jim Bowie

Member
Print off some pictures of scat porn, or something equally terrible, walk into their room and masturbate. When they ask what you're doing, say that you're changing. I swear, they'll never go back into your room to masturbate.
 
M

Manabanana

Member
I used to find my brother's socks down by the computer all the time. I didn't realize why he always took his socks off at the computer until I moved out. How naive.
 
J

Jim Bowie

Member
Manabanana said:
I used to find my brother's socks down by the computer all the time. I didn't realize why he always took his socks off at the computer until I moved out. How naive.
Click to expand...

:0

Which one?
 
J

Jim Bowie

Member
Manabanana said:
Haha, older. Younger brother was just hitting puberty when I moved out.
Click to expand...

Cause I remember the younger one did the same thing, and I remember moving his socks and one point. I've put these fingers in my mouth since then. I'm so psyched.
 
M

Manabanana

Member
Jim Bowie said:
Cause I remember the younger one did the same thing, and I remember moving his socks and one point. I've put these fingers in my mouth since then. I'm so psyched.
Click to expand...

He was probably just taking off his socks...I hope. Oh god I hope. I mean he just turned 14 this year. He can't have been wanking for more than a few months. I'm pretty sure you're in the clear.
 
J

Jim Bowie

Member
Manabanana said:
He was probably just taking off his socks...I hope. Oh god I hope. I mean he just turned 14 this year. He can't have been wanking for more than a few months. I'm pretty sure you're in the clear.
Click to expand...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANT TO BE SURE
 
M

metsallica

Member
Go into the BIOS and set a boot password. Turn off the computer any time you leave the room. If they go through the trouble of getting past that, shake their damn hands (IF YOU DARE).
 
D

Dragmire

Member
Put a turd on the mouse.
Take the mouse ball out.
Leave a dissected cadaver on your computer desk.
Make a 'fat old men pooping' website with the search engine keywords "black on blonde".
Murder.
Buy your own computer and give them the wankermachine.
When you find out they like the 'fat old men pooping' website, charge money for it and give some of it to me.
Leave a bag of potato chips on the desk, and lace the mouse and keyboard with arsenic.
Buy the internet.
Turn your room into a convent.
Cut off their penii.
Make them into racists.
Put two turds on the mouse.
Condition them using vomit and balloons.
Sell them into slave labor.
Introduce them to "blonde on blonde"
Distract them with nuclear war.
Mail order brides.
Your brothers are terrorists. The government will take care of them.
 
I

isamu

OMFG HOLY MOTHER OF MARY IN HEAVEN I CANT BELIEVE IT WTF WHERE ARE MY SEDATIVES AAAAHHH
metsallica said:
If they go through the trouble of getting past that, shake their damn hands (IF YOU DARE).
Click to expand...


:lol
 
O

ourumov

Member
Kinda curious...I live with my father and brother and I have yet to caught one of them doing his things...I've found their porn and stuff...but well who hasn't ?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

What actually happened to Warren Ellis?
14
3K
CGNoire replied
  • Poll
Et tu, Brute?
Poll 2
51
4K
TrueLegend replied
[Bustle] Please Respect Mia Khalifa’s Rebrand
6 7 8 9 10
499
73K
Maiden Voyage replied
Jason Schreier: "Inside the Making of Redfall, Xbox’s Latest Misfire"
News
3
2K
Majima Everywhere System replied
I am a 'Filthy Casual' - welcome to my meltdown my fellow potatoes
2 3 4 5 6
250
19K
Putonahappyface replied
Top Bottom