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Let's make it better... for shareholders

Haemi

Member
Get creative and make suggestions for making your favorite software/subscription service wor... better for shareholders!

I'll start with Netflix:

  • Ads for all subscription tiers. Having 4K and HDR is benefit enough for premium.
  • Ads when starting the app. Accidently hitting the Netflix button on your remote? Now you have to watch an ad to close the app. Even without subscription.
  • Make only one or two episodes of a show available at a time. Add weekly the next episode and remove the oldest. Want to subscribe for only a month and binge watch the latest season? No, you have now to keep your subscription!
  • "Premium early access": Watch next weeks episode early by paying 1$ for it. 2$ for the movie that releases next week.
  • Want to watch a movie while being in another country? Get "vacation access" for 5$ per week.
  • Service fee for resub. Stay or pay more!
 
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zeomax

Member
I'll start with Netflix:

  • Ads for all subscription tiers. Having 4K and HDR is benefit enough for premium.
  • Ads when starting the app. Accidently hitting the Netflix button on your remote? Now you have to watch an ad to close the app. Even without subscription.
  • Make only one or two episodes of a show available at a time. Add weekly the next episode and remove the oldest. Want to subscribe for only a month and binge watch the latest season? No, you have now to keep your subscription!
  • "Premium early access": Watch next weeks episode early by paying 1$ for it. 2$ for the movie that releases next week.
  • Want to watch a movie while being in another country? Get "vacation access" for 5$ per week.
  • Service fee for resub. Stay or pay more!

jack sparrow GIF
 
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nkarafo

Member
Make a deal with the most important service that is a necessity (such as electricity) and force people to pay the subs as part of the electricity bill. You don't want to pay the sub? Well, sorry, no electricity for you then.

This his how Greece forces me to pay for a bunch of TV channels that nobody watches.

So now you don't even need to create new content or anything. Just stream whatever you already have and profit forever.

You are welcome.
 

MaestroMike

Gold Member
it grinds my gears whenever i replay something from ESPNplus they have like some screensaver for commercials saying commercial break with some music playing. how about if ur going to block the commercials anyways with that screensaver why not automatically jump back to the action so I don't have to fast forward or listen to it in the background while I'm doing something else
 
Subscriptions tiers and the tiers themselves have additional subscription tiers. They'll have to pay for the privilege and then pay again for using it. Recursive, recurrent and continuous spending. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom!

Just Kidding Finger Guns GIF


Let's fleece these fuckers for all they're worth,

Get one month for the price of two.
Jason Sudeikis Yes GIF by Apple TV+


I'm sold. But, why two and not three? Surely we can squeeze the consumers® for more, right? You gotta think bigger and bolder, buddy.
 

diffusionx

Gold Member
  • "Premium early access": Watch next weeks episode early by paying 1$ for it. 2$ for the movie that releases next week.
  • Want to watch a movie while being in another country? Get "vacation access" for 5$ per week.
  • Service fee for resub. Stay or pay more!
I wouldn't be surprised if they trying doing these at some point, do you work there and are just floating stuff?
 

Haemi

Member
force people to pay the subs as part of the electricity bill. You don't want to pay the sub? Well, sorry, no electricity for you then.
Great idea!

Here in germany the landlord can force you to pay for cable. This will change in Juli.

do you work there and are just floating stuff?
:messenger_tears_of_joy:

I went for a walk this morning and started thinking... how far could they push the enshittification.


Another idea: How about applying the growing number of streaming services to shopping! Why should companies sell their stuff in the same place?
  • CocaCola, Nestle, Mondelez, Unilever etc. could open their own stores.
  • This is the only place where you could get their products.
  • You would only get access via subscription.
  • There would be a premium tier subscription, that would allow you to buy the healthy stuff. Otherwise your access to them would be limited.
  • You would be forced to watch ads before being able to put a product in your shopping cart.
 
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Husky

THE Prey 2 fanatic
Another idea: How about applying the growing number of streaming services to shopping! Why should companies sell their stuff in the same place?
  • CocaCola, Nestle, Mondelez, Unilever etc. could open their own stores.
  • This is the only place where you could get their products.
  • You would only get access via subscription.
  • There would be a premium tier subscription, that would allow you to buy the healthy stuff. Otherwise your access to them would be limited.
  • You would be forced to watch ads before being able to put a product in your shopping cart.
I don't think these sorts of companies could survive that kind of business model. Amazon outcompetes retail outlets because it's more convenient. Coke has so much success because it's everywhere, you can't enter a gas station, fast food place, convenience store, or grocery market without gaining access to Coca-Cola products. If that ease of access and ubiquitousness of the brand was taken away, I think people would switch brands, not stores.

I think the "vacation access" you listed before could very well be adopted by streaming companies.
Some streaming services have add-on plans that expand the service's library. Netflix could use a hierarchy of tiers, Basic Tier, Standard Tier, and Premium Tier. Only Premium subscribers can view Sony and Warner Bros. movies on Netflix, and they also get to watch the final season of Stranger Things a whole week before anyone else. Basic Tier only gets to watch Netflix Originals and indie straight-to-VOD releases.
Netflix could announce that all subscribers are going to start seeing ads before every movie and TV episode, and then add new subscription tiers that overprice the luxury of ad-free viewing.
I loathe ads.
zd09nc.jpg
 

Mistake

Member
As someone who lived in an adpocalypse, here's what's going to happen.

-There will be an ad when you switch TV inputs, when you turn it on, and even after timeouts, like when content is paused or your tv went to screensaver mode.
-Devices that don't normally connect to the internet will still have ads anyway, pre-installed. Got a projector? Well look at this ad while it "boots up."
-The internet may become even more of a hostile shithole. If you don't have an adblocker of any kind, expect your device to get plenty of viruses and trojans.
-Your phone number is sold to the highest bidder, by the phone company. Eventually we will have no good phone numbers left because they all get botted with ads and scammers via text or call. The only way to communicate in a similar fashion will be chat apps.
-In more urban areas your utilities will be connected to contracted charge cards with an insert on your meter, paying them will involve watching ads
-Subway systems will have strobe ads for displaying on long tunnel walls, and audio ads when walking past signs

When everyone wants their piece, we have no peace
 
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mitch1971

Member
Here's one....

Make a subscription service that now puts expensive AAA titles on it day one....
 
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Haemi

Member
I don't think these sorts of companies could survive that kind of business model. Amazon outcompetes retail outlets because it's more convenient. Coke has so much success because it's everywhere, you can't enter a gas station, fast food place, convenience store, or grocery market without gaining access to Coca-Cola products. If that ease of access and ubiquitousness of the brand was taken away, I think people would switch brands, not stores.
Yes, it wouldn't work, because the stores are in the "real world" and not online. It is crazy what we allow to happen just because streaming services are online.
 
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Husky

THE Prey 2 fanatic
Yes, it wouldn't work, because the stores are in the "real world" and not online. It is crazy what we allow to happen just because streaming services are online.
Even if they did have a webstore, the sodas people are gonna buy are the ones they can conveniently pick up wherever they go. Coke has to actively present itself as a choice, rather than wait for customers to come to them.
 

PSYGN

Member
Traffic light fast pass... oh wait, that's not for shareholders although they would pay for it.
 
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Ballthyrm

Member
Make a subscription service where the only way to unsubscribe is to call a fixed line, opened 10-12 AM and 2-5 PM, only on tueday and thursday, where you have to wait on average 2h without knowing where you are in the queue and that can disconnect you at random.
While you wait you have to listen to ads and pay to additional waiting line fee of 1$ a minute.
Once you are there you have to tell the overworked employee that barely speak English and that has a speech impediment (yes there is only one) all 40 of your subscription numbers and the 10 personnal questions perfectly to move on to the next stage.

The next stage consist of the employee trying to gazlight you into changing into a new better plan where you have to explicitely state your intention of cancelling or they will accept silence as implied consent and cut the line on you.
Once cancelled there is a period of retraction of exactly one week where you need to confirm your cancellation by doing it all over again or it will automatically renew your subscription. You can't confirm your cancellation until all seven days are over, meaning you need to do it the exact same day and hour you did your cancellation.

Once double cancelled, they will sell all your datas to the highest bidder and harass you for at least one year to get any excuse to put your back in the plan.
Of course if you die, your plan goes automatically to your next of kin.
 
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-Minsc-

Member
My wife and I are trying to convince a child with no success. Every five thrusts I have to pull out and watch a two minute ad. No birth control is an extra $5/night.
 
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