Chaos2Frozen
Member
I always thought it was weird when people say "just go up to girls and talk to them!"
Like it seems very short sighted. What is your plan after that?
Like it seems very short sighted. What is your plan after that?
Let's talk about catcalling
- Thread starter pashmilla
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Do people really compliment people's auras often? Sounds weird af
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Well... I mean, if you keep it to yourself then I really can't attack you for thinking what you think. I imagine that most people would acknowledge that sometimes they see someone and get a totally lustful reaction. It's how you act upon that reaction that matters, and seeing as you mentioned earlier that you didn't vocalise your thoughts to the stranger, I don't think you're a bad person at all, dude.
I guess your comment could be seen as objectifying "that woman" because your initial thought is to satisfy your carnal desires with her, but I also think that to an extent, feeling that way is just a basic human compulsion that you can't control.
Affeinvasion
Member
Fun Fact: The only time I've ever experienced cat-calling was while wearing a sign that said "woman" while walking around campus during a performance studies class.
I'm a bearded, bald man. Make of that what you will.
I'm a bearded, bald man. Make of that what you will.
George Oscar Bluth II
Banned
Never done it. Always found it very vulgar since I was a kid.
LyleLanley
Banned
What if a person genuinely does have a great aura though? Even then am I not allowed to tell them I would like to look at their feet?
Messofanego
Banned
Can you really blame the person who's getting the comments on the street for treating you suspiciously or walking away quick or putting on headphones if you ask them or compliment them on the street because of the frequency of catcalling that happens on a daily basis? I'm sure even guys find it weird when someone asks them something on the street, are they asking for money or wanting to jack you with a softball question. Now multiply that by a 100 times for a woman. A polite chat-up line is rare. Blame the catcalling men for poisoning the well to ask people out on the street.
Also, anything you guys mentioned is pretty bad, but the whistling... whatever. Honestly I'd rather hear a whistle and keep walking than having some asshole come up to me and start an awkward conversation.
Laevateinn
Member
cryptosporidium
Member
dude wtf, thats disgusting
blame space
Banned
don't aura shame
.......Lord give me strength
SpacedCadette
Member
Despite 14 pages of women saying they feel uncomfortable with it?....
Edit: his spoiler wasn't there before.
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
Did he edit the post, 'cause the spoiler tag reveals he's sarcastic
But none of that is catcalling
Yelling "Girl you thicker than dog shit!" or "I bet that's what you look like after fuckin ain't it!" is catcalling
Yep
TickleMeElbow
Member
Yo this actually happened to me.
This dude was like "your aura is a nice blue color" or some shit while I was walking into a restaurant. Like a week later I was driving, and randomly saw the same guy at a bus stop raising his hands towards the sky.
Laevateinn
Member
You're like a magical confidence fairy.
ipukespiders
Member
I asked a girl out at her place of work while she was on shift. Maybe a bit awkward for her, but sometimes you just gotta make your move.
blame space
Banned
don't do that.
excelsiorlef
Member
I mean no you don't gotta but ok.
SpacedCadette
Member
So you realized it could be awkward for her but went ahead and did it anyways?
ipukespiders
Member
I've only every done this once.
And we've been married since 1998. So I'm 1 for 1.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
That's amazing.
The "don't" group is so much larger than the other.
Imagine for a second that most women dislike it, because most of us do not. Imagine also that most of us don't speak up about, because we don't. To someone who doesn't think about others' feelings it's going to look like we don't care. That's not true, obviously, but it looks that way if you don't think about it and only just notice that you haven't been yelled at.
So in that scenario what is going to help men realize most women don't like it? If we finally speak up. So here you are. You don't have to hang on your cross but if you choose to nail yourself to it then I won't stop you.
SpacedCadette
Member
Thought that felt like it might've been a set up.
ipukespiders
Member
Yep. And now I'm 5 for 5.
The Chosen One
Member
Vulgar catcalling is bad and is indeed harassment in many cases.
The problem is the zone where catcalling (or unwanted advances) and legitimate flirting meet can get hazy.
Some women like it when they're sitting at a coffee shop and a handsome man makes eye contact and then gives a compliment. But the same situation happens with an ugly man who's less "suave", then flirting can be considered an "unwanted advance" instead. So women tend to have a higher tolerance for flirting from men they find attractive compared to men they find plain or repulsive.
Also some women like a man who is confident and bold (aggressive, but not too aggressive). Other women aren't comfortable with any aggressive flirting, especially in a public space.
Some women like getting compliments on their appearance from strangers as long as it's not too vulgar. Other women may feel self-conscious and uncomfortable having strangers remark on their appearance.
The point is, it's not black and white as some of you are saying it is. But it's also why I've never engaged in any kind of catcalling or yelling compliments because there's no telling how that person might receive those comments even if the comments aren't overtly vulgar.
I have however struck up conversations with strangers while waiting in line, sitting around, or looking at things. I've had women strike up conversations with me in various situations and I didn't consider it harassment or some violation. I grew up in a small town where it's common to talk to strangers around you because ultimately they're a part of your community.
The problem is the zone where catcalling (or unwanted advances) and legitimate flirting meet can get hazy.
Some women like it when they're sitting at a coffee shop and a handsome man makes eye contact and then gives a compliment. But the same situation happens with an ugly man who's less "suave", then flirting can be considered an "unwanted advance" instead. So women tend to have a higher tolerance for flirting from men they find attractive compared to men they find plain or repulsive.
Also some women like a man who is confident and bold (aggressive, but not too aggressive). Other women aren't comfortable with any aggressive flirting, especially in a public space.
Some women like getting compliments on their appearance from strangers as long as it's not too vulgar. Other women may feel self-conscious and uncomfortable having strangers remark on their appearance.
The point is, it's not black and white as some of you are saying it is. But it's also why I've never engaged in any kind of catcalling or yelling compliments because there's no telling how that person might receive those comments even if the comments aren't overtly vulgar.
I have however struck up conversations with strangers while waiting in line, sitting around, or looking at things. I've had women strike up conversations with me in various situations and I didn't consider it harassment or some violation. I grew up in a small town where it's common to talk to strangers around you because ultimately they're a part of your community.
Boy Wander
Member
Is swiping right on Tinder digital catcalling?
EdibleKnife
Member
No. Tinder is a dating app. A place where people go specifically so they can flirt/socialize/find dates as opposed to walking on the street heading to a destination.
If you don't engage in eye contact and non-verbally communicate to each other, don't engage verbally. It's that simple.
It doesn't matter if you're traditionally handsome or traditionally ugly. If she's not holding your gaze and smiling at you then she probably doesn't want to talk.
Men who think you know better than the women who have posted in this thread: you don't.
I've never catcalled anyone in my life. Even when I was a young dumb kid. It just never seemed like an appealing way to initiate a conversation with a lady I was interested in. It's just fucking rude, and awkward, and uncomfortable for the person being catcalled.
Just don't do it, guys. There are more productive ways to make your interest in a person known. Like, oh, I don't know, saying hello. And remember, you aren't owed shit. Even a response.
Just don't do it, guys. There are more productive ways to make your interest in a person known. Like, oh, I don't know, saying hello. And remember, you aren't owed shit. Even a response.
Is catcalling a regional thing?
I've honestly never seen anyone catcall in person. Only on TV, but I know it happens here.
My sister swears we never had catcalling in New Orleans until after hurricane Katrina and we received an influx of people moving here from other parts of the country to help us rebuild... Or after we started getting a lot of the Hollywood types making movies for the tax breaks the state offers.
What's the point of catcalling though?
Or I should say, what is the intended end goal?
If it's consensual contact with the target of the catcall, I imagine the success rate is something approaching 0%.
I've honestly never seen anyone catcall in person. Only on TV, but I know it happens here.
My sister swears we never had catcalling in New Orleans until after hurricane Katrina and we received an influx of people moving here from other parts of the country to help us rebuild... Or after we started getting a lot of the Hollywood types making movies for the tax breaks the state offers.
What's the point of catcalling though?
Or I should say, what is the intended end goal?
If it's consensual contact with the target of the catcall, I imagine the success rate is something approaching 0%.
If the point is trying to get the ladies number or a date or immediate sexual intercourse then I also imagine the success rate to be 0%.
But it still happens, so there must be another point in doing it.
Okay, since guys in this thread seem to be confused... you could be a literal fucking Adonis, but if you catcall me I'm going to be scared and grossed out. It's not about "oh well this catcaller is gross so I'm going to reject him but THIS one is soooo hot!!!"
👏🏻 Just 👏🏻 don't 👏🏻 do 👏🏻 it 👏🏻
👏🏻 Just 👏🏻 don't 👏🏻 do 👏🏻 it 👏🏻
I dunno, that flow chart still seems off when you're addressing a literal cat.
I left a Starbucks one day just after a woman did and there was some (presumably homeless) guy yelling out "good night my love" to her from behind me. Yeah, fuck that nonsense, and maybe it's partially me being self focused but I think being in that relative position can for an instant give at least something of an idea personally for what it'd feel like to receive that kind of crap.
Daffy Duck
Member
Interestingly enough there is a TV show about this very thing on tonight here in the UK called Harassment Uncovered. Similar thing to the US thing where they filmed a woman walking the streets of London to similar things in the US video.
Yoshimitsu126
Member
Heck, I get annoyed when my friend has to immediately tell me whenever an attractive girl walks by. We're not in a party, man. Maybe that's just me though.
kinoki
Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.
Since you claim some women like it: show us that they do. The burden of proof is on you. I've never heard of a woman who enjoyed it so I don't think they exist. Sure, I'm using inductive reason here, but I'm pretty much with ok with assuming that.
Dude! Come on! No, you don't. If you need to ask someone out, don't do it someplace private so there's an even playing field. Maybe she wants to say yes but can't due to the awkwardness or maybe she wants to say no but can't due to the situation. Niether is an option you want. As someone who has dated people I work with I can tell you: it's easier if you keep business and pleasure seperate. Try to socialise outside of work to see if you're compatible before rushing the question.
Zeyphersan
Banned
My girlfriend has described how she got honked at by a group of high schoolers while she was walking home. When she was 9.
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