First off, I am incredibly sorry you are dealing with depression. It's a dark and dangerous thing. My mother suffers from it, and its heart breaking, soul crushing, and it truly hurts watching the one you love dearly go through this horrific battle. Shes actually dealing with it as I type this.
I am actually about to start training as a counselor who will help assist people needing help with suicide, and various other issues they are having in life.
Friends will help you regardless if they have things going on in their life. The thing is, when you are sad, alone, and you are in danger of harming yourself, you should seek help within someone you trust or you can call the suicide hotline. These friends may have stuff going on, but maybe it's not as much as you think or as serious. I know the mindset of someone dealing with depression, and you are hitting literally everything on the head with it. Friends will help, a true friend will shut everything down and be there to listen, to lend support, or get you the help you truly need.
Did you ever think you deserved better? Did you ever think there are people ready and waiting to help pick you up, dust you off, and help you get through this? You deserve the best, and if you don't want to talk to friends, then talk to me. I will even PM you my cell number, my email address, facebook, or instagram URL and I will gladly talk to you, and I will do whatever I can to help you through this.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It sounds as your meds possibly need upped if they are not performing the way they should, or perhaps you need a different type of medication. There is nothing ashamed of that, as its incredible the break throughs science has had with medications and such.
You are loved, and you would be a massive loss to those in your world. Please, if you need to talk, contact the suicide hotline (
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) they offer text as well as calling, or you can even inbox me and I will give you my information so you can reach out to me. I don't care if its 2 or 3am.. I will be there for you if you need it.
You can, and will get through this. It's just a bad few days, its not going to last forever. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and lastly, there is always hope. <3