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LGBTQIA+ |OT9| The Return of the Queen

Kevyt

Member
There is no Skype chat, however many members did move over to Discord and everyone is welcomed to join there! (though we recommend people to be 18 years or older).

The first time I joined the chat was back in 2014 when it was still Skype. I remember talking to a lot of people and talking to others that barely posted in the thread. I also remember that a particular chat member was very much dismissive and said something along the lines of "I've been in this chat for over X years, who the the hell are you?" Which was kind of ummm, not friendly, yet I didn't shy away from engaging with the members there, chatting and getting to know almost everyone. That same person who said that is super friendly and well liked by everyone, and who knows, maybe he was just having a bad day.

Many times I did feel ignored on the chat, but it wasn't something that put me off, because there are many other individuals going through hardships and hard moments and sometimes they might not seem that they are friendly or they might seem as if they are ignoring you, though it isn't like that.

I think Kitchenmotors can attest to this as well, who has been there since forever. Sometimes people in the chat will just drive by and say something and then it takes a long time for that individual to reply back to someone/continue a conversation. It's not that someone is ignoring someone else or avoiding them.

I have nothing negative to say about the group chat. Au contraire, It's been a very positive experience being part of the chat for almost three years. I have had the privilege and the honor to interact with a diverse group of individuals and even meet some of them face to face (also planning on meeting more of them) and many of us have made great bonds of friendship from simple online interaction.

Yes there is drama and arguing from time to time in the chat, but no one there means ill to anyone and in my opinion everyone is supportive to one another, to a certain degree. Many people have left the chat for many reasons and that's totally fine. No group chat is perfect, but for me the positives outweigh the negatives.

Yes there are groups of people who only keep to their circle, and maybe "ignore you" and that's totally fine. We see that happening in many other social interactions, especially at school, work etc. Yet I'd argue that I can be the one that goes over to that group, interacts with them, talks to them, becomes part of them and in the process expands their social group. I have successfully done it at school, at work, and even in the chat. People are shy, even on the internet, and even on a semi-anonymous group chat platform as Discord/Skype.

If I had to describe the group chat in a sentence it would be "beautiful gals and guys seeking validation and support" :p

You all are welcome to join the chat and see for yourselves.
 

Burbeting

Banned
Just going to pop in and say that the group skype/discord chat has been a hugely positive influenceffect on me since I joined it in late 2013. That was basically the first time I acknowledged my sexual orientation out loud to someone not myself, and the support I've obtained from there has always been helpful. But I can understand that it's not the same experience for everyone. But I do feel like the group is definitely open for any newcomers.
 
umop, do you know what the Hedonistic Treadmill is and what do you think about it?


Also this song is perfect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEQ0l_m3Xm0

Yeah. There are probably some good reasons for our reward circuitry being on a pretty tight economy, but I haven't investigated it that thoroughly. I think it's a useful concept to have at hand when wanting to make the sort of common-sense claim that things don't just get better and better linearly, and that moderation seems to serve as a pretty good practical rule, or that taking a more incremental approach to happiness is more sensible. I usually find myself appealing to the idea when I want to convey the notion that greed tends to have a bit of blowback.

Certain kinds of meditation (loving-kindness, or meditation emphasizing the factors of piti ('joy') and sukha ('happiness')) apparently fall somewhat outside of the paradigm, at least according to some literature I've read. But I've also read that psych research w/r/t meditation often isn't of the highest standard, so I'm not that sure what to make of that. I do know that people who are pretty into Buddhist insight practice will often make use of those kinds of meditation to take some of the sting or dismay out of contemplating impermanence, which can be a real bummer without some sort of internalized sense of contentment ("the dark night of the soul" is usually rougher on people who have less experience rousing those factors). And on an intuitive level, I think it seems that an internalized and well-regulated sense of contentment would be less volatile, so maybe it sort of escapes the hedonic treadmill paradigm in that sense.
 
no one there means ill to anyone
MV58mWE.gif

Speak for yourself.
You all are welcome to join the chat and see for yourselves.
swCcVrP.gif

We're full, thanks.
;)
 
Yeah. There are probably some good reasons for our reward circuitry being on a pretty tight economy, but I haven't investigated it that thoroughly. I think it's a useful concept to have at hand when wanting to make the sort of common-sense claim that things don't just get better and better linearly, and that moderation seems to serve as a pretty good practical rule, or that taking a more incremental approach to happiness is more sensible. I usually find myself appealing to the idea when I want to convey the notion that greed tends to have a bit of blowback.

You'd think it seems fairly common-sense, but I've noticed that for some the HT when applied to society/technological progress kind of throws them for a loop. Like, I don't think color and HD tv made society (well... developed world society) objectively happier. And I think if we suddenly lost that technology we'd all cope and return to our baseline level of happiness. I also think that our baseline happiness is set largely set by our peers. Like a well off caveman I think would be just as happy as a well off 2017 person. You hear of dudes making 200k+ salaries that feel poor because they live in areas where the average salary is like 500k+ and so they're comparatively poor despite being very well off. Its the nature of being social animals I guess.
 
You'd think it seems fairly common-sense, but I've noticed that for some the HT when applied to society/technological progress kind of throws them for a loop. Like, I don't think color and HD tv made society (well... developed world society) objectively happier. And I think if we suddenly lost that technology we'd all cope and return to our baseline level of happiness. I also think that our baseline happiness is set largely set by our peers. Like a well off caveman I think would be just as happy as a well off 2017 person. You hear of dudes making 200k+ salaries that feel poor because they live in areas where the average salary is like 500k+ and so they're comparatively poor despite being very well off. Its the nature of being social animals I guess.

Yeah. I'd guess that people just don't want to be told to measure their (foolish) optimism! And the social aspect of that is a good point that I hadn't really thought about.

I kind of have a temperamental inclination to say that people are trying to find a way out of some kind of existential insecurity. Pleasure seems like just another thing that we can view through the lens of survival instinct, like we sort of take them both in the same way. But it also seems that some kind of existential insecurity is the thing that characterizes our existence.
 

HeelPower

Member
I know, but I can't see how his concepts are helped by his prose. Kant's prose seems scintillating in comparison.

I'm actually reading what is supposed to be the clearest English translation (the unpublished one by Terry Pinkard), lol.

Perhaps seek some lectures about him ? ;)

Have you heard of the great courses website ? It probably has some of the finest I've ever had the pleasure to listen to.All lectures are done by well versed university profs.So this isn't the youtube wizkid variety.They go on massive sales quite often.
but there are other methods to get em

Hegel is fascinating.
 

I'd be offended, but I have no clue who you are either. :)

There is no Skype chat, however many members did move over to Discord and everyone is welcomed to join there! (though we recommend people to be 18 years or older).

The first time I joined the chat was back in 2014 when it was still Skype. I remember talking to a lot of people and talking to others that barely posted in the thread. I also remember that a particular chat member was very much dismissive and said something along the lines of "I've been in this chat for over X years, who the the hell are you?" Which was kind of ummm, not friendly, yet I didn't shy away from engaging with the members there, chatting and getting to know almost everyone. That same person who said that is super friendly and well liked by everyone, and who knows, maybe he was just having a bad day.

Many times I did feel ignored on the chat, but it wasn't something that put me off, because there are many other individuals going through hardships and hard moments and sometimes they might not seem that they are friendly or they might seem as if they are ignoring you, though it isn't like that.

I think Kitchenmotors can attest to this as well, who has been there since forever. Sometimes people in the chat will just drive by and say something and then it takes a long time for that individual to reply back to someone/continue a conversation. It's not that someone is ignoring someone else or avoiding them.

I have nothing negative to say about the group chat. Au contraire, It's been a very positive experience being part of the chat for almost three years. I have had the privilege and the honor to interact with a diverse group of individuals and even meet some of them face to face (also planning on meeting more of them) and many of us have made great bonds of friendship from simple online interaction.

Yes there is drama and arguing from time to time in the chat, but no one there means ill to anyone and in my opinion everyone is supportive to one another, to a certain degree. Many people have left the chat for many reasons and that's totally fine. No group chat is perfect, but for me the positives outweigh the negatives.

Yes there are groups of people who only keep to their circle, and maybe "ignore you" and that's totally fine. We see that happening in many other social interactions, especially at school, work etc. Yet I'd argue that I can be the one that goes over to that group, interacts with them, talks to them, becomes part of them and in the process expands their social group. I have successfully done it at school, at work, and even in the chat. People are shy, even on the internet, and even on a semi-anonymous group chat platform as Discord/Skype.

If I had to describe the group chat in a sentence it would be "beautiful gals and guys seeking validation and support" :p

You all are welcome to join the chat and see for yourselves.

Ya. I wasn't even in that chat and they called me fake behind my back. Real nice group they've got going on there. You're telling people they're welcome to join, but who knows what else you're saying about other posters in there...
 
Perhaps seek some lectures about him ? ;)

Have you heard of the great courses website ? It probably has some of the finest I've ever had the pleasure to listen to.All lectures are done by well versed university profs.So this isn't the youtube wizkid variety.They go on massive sales quite often.
but there are other methods to get em

Hegel is fascinating.

I'm actually reading it for a class, I'm just not used to being that put off by philosophical language. When I was reading the introduction, I couldn't even decide if I cared enough to actively try to figure out what he was talking about, and I've never had that experience before, even with other philosophers that are supposed to be opaque.
 

Kevyt

Member
Ya. I wasn't even in that chat and they called me fake behind my back. Real nice group they've got going on there. You're telling people they're welcome to join, but who knows what else you're saying about other posters in there...

Okay, I can let you know what I have said and talked about others. More than anything, and in jest, I mostly talk about how handsome Down is in the chat... (which a lot of people also like to tease me about because everyone thinks I'm such a fanboy, lol).

Other than that, I don't recall talking about others... I would have to search the server and find my chat logs to remember in case I'm missing something.

Other than that, I have respect for you and everyone else, and likewise I've mentioned many times that I enjoy your youtube channel and content since you first shared it in the thread that I remember (your voice and videos). I've said it many times here and in the chat, I enjoy your music and thanks for sharing this with us.

So umm ???

Like Kater said, it's a shame not everyone has had the same positive experience but at the same time, I think the change starts with ourselves.

Edit: Actually, I just remembered, I did mention one time in the chat how I found a specific segment in one of your music videos amusing because I thought the way you approached the girl was kinda amusing, and very innocent like instead of being the lover that's engrossed on her as the lyrics suggest. I remember that specific time talking about you in the discord chat, but that was pretty much it.

Seath is a huge shit talker, don't listen to Ondore's lies

I actually read this as "stalker" and thought "oh god, Down is gonna think I'm stalking him or something" :s lol
 

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
Ya. I wasn't even in that chat and they called me fake behind my back. Real nice group they've got going on there. You're telling people they're welcome to join, but who knows what else you're saying about other posters in there...

Talking behind back sucks but again most people dont want to bring the conflict to the forum cause here they can get banned for saying some of the things they say so they take it elsewhere. Me on the other hand I took my bans for being straight forward and didnt hold back on people which sometimes was pretty harsh even if provoked. Of course I have toned down the way I say things because you can dislike or disagree with someone at a moment without being hateful with the way you let it be known. There should be a room for conversation about those things so you can understand how that person works/ comes from and maybe just maybe see if things can be worked on or simply make it known you are not fond of that behavior or personality without being a bitch about it. I prefer being honest even if that might mean being seen as a mean one at times but at least I own up to it. (You know we had our fair share of issues for me being direct and harsh but at least we addressed that some time ago)

As for the chat I cant really defend or attack it cause like any group there is always good and bad in it and Im not really part of the group anymore to say what is currently going on there. There was fun to be had the same way sometimes there was conflict. Overall it was similar to the thread in ways but definitely more unfiltered with the things said which is a double edge sword.

I actually read this as "stalker" and thought "oh god, Down is gonna think I'm stalking him or something" :s lol

He probably has a restraining order for you at this point tbh
 

HeelPower

Member
I'm actually reading it for a class, I'm just not used to being that put off by philosophical language. When I was reading the introduction, I couldn't even decide if I cared enough to actively try to figure out what he was talking about, and I've never had that experience before, even with other philosophers that are supposed to be opaque.

Them Germans.That's what makes em epic xD

Reminds me of Heidegger...Oh Heidegger...Being and Time.Hard to clearly think of most of the stuff,eventhough I had gone over the concepts multiple times.
 
D

Deleted member 465307

Unconfirmed Member
If anyone here with experience would be willing to answer a very basic/fundamental, non-personal NSFW question that I'd rather not google, please reply and I'll send you a PM or just send me a PM. Thanks!

-edit, i'll PM whoever-

Feel free to add me to your "whoever" list if you haven't already sent a PM. My PM inbox is open to anyone and everyone (though I can't always guarantee I'll be able to help).
 
I'm sorts glad it's releasing now. I can hopefully snatch one for cheap during black Friday. But then again. So I really want another Nintendo console I won't even touch lol
 

Vazra

irresponsible vagina leak
I'm sorts glad it's releasing now. I can hopefully snatch one for cheap during black Friday. But then again. So I really want another Nintendo console I won't even touch lol

After the Wii U burn Im not sure if I'll bother with switch more after the news that keep coming after the presentation.
 

Astral Dog

Member
Yeah. There are probably some good reasons for our reward circuitry being on a pretty tight economy, but I haven't investigated it that thoroughly. I think it's a useful concept to have at hand when wanting to make the sort of common-sense claim that things don't just get better and better linearly, and that moderation seems to serve as a pretty good practical rule, or that taking a more incremental approach to happiness is more sensible. I usually find myself appealing to the idea when I want to convey the notion that greed tends to have a bit of blowback.

Certain kinds of meditation (loving-kindness, or meditation emphasizing the factors of piti ('joy') and sukha ('happiness')) apparently fall somewhat outside of the paradigm, at least according to some literature I've read. But I've also read that psych research w/r/t meditation often isn't of the highest standard, so I'm not that sure what to make of that. I do know that people who are pretty into Buddhist insight practice will often make use of those kinds of meditation to take some of the sting or dismay out of contemplating impermanence, which can be a real bummer without some sort of internalized sense of contentment ("the dark night of the soul" is usually rougher on people who have less experience rousing those factors). And on an intuitive level, I think it seems that an internalized and well-regulated sense of contentment would be less volatile, so maybe it sort of escapes the hedonic treadmill paradigm in that sense.
someday i will understand what are you talking about.though that dark night of the soul sounds very familiar
 
Ugh, reading all of Pample's posts makes me feel so sad. :( Based on the photos, he was good looking too. Depression is a horrible disease, and it sucks that so many people brush it off as "just don't be depressed."
 

Dany

Banned
xo u all. lets not try to bring eachother down. Live and let learn to help one-another <3


In other news, I'll be asleep all day tomorrow through the entirety of the inauguration process. I'll sleep to an Obama presidency and wake up to a total nightmare. I won't be surprised if the view from my balcony is just fire.
 

Sai-kun

Banned
LOL I literally was told by someone IN those Skype chats &#128514;&#128514;&#128514; and knowing how you used to treat me I wouldn't doubt that you were part of it.

First of all,

We haven't been in a Skype chat for TWO entire OTs, and we've been in the Discord chat since March of 2016, so I have no idea what you're talking about. Unless you have receipts, I need to you stay seated as per usual.

Secondly, I have no idea how I used to treat you because I don't remember any interactions with you at all, because you've been on my ignore list for god knows how long. You think too highly of yourself if you think I have it out for you or something.

I wasn't kidding when I said nobody talks about you, because a quick search through Discord reveals less than 20 mentions in the entirety of the history of the chat. So you should probably save that persecution complex for when it's actually relevant. You're an attractive and talented guy, and people go crazy every time you post a new selfie or a new song in here, so I genuinely don't know what you're talking about when you say you feel ignored. There's no 'clique', there's no shadow council, it's just a bunch of gay ass folks posting random shit they wanna talk about on a message board. Chill out, bro.
 
xo u all. lets not try to bring eachother down. Live and let learn to help one-another <3


In other news, I'll be asleep all day tomorrow through the entirety of the inauguration process. I'll sleep to an Obama presidency and wake up to a total nightmare. I won't be surprised if the view from my balcony is just fire.

Do you live in DC?
 
Them Germans.That's what makes em epic xD

Reminds me of Heidegger...Oh Heidegger...Being and Time.Hard to clearly think of most of the stuff,eventhough I had gone over the concepts multiple times.

I actually found Heidegger relatively straight forward, at least in his writing. He does create a lot of his own novel terminology, but I think the most challenging part of his philosophy is more what he's trying to disclose (experience/being), rather than how he's disclosing it. At least for me I think that the bare experience or insight that he's pointing to is challenging, but I think he actually does a good job of pointing at it.

someday i will understand what are you talking about.though that dark night of the soul sounds very familiar

Buddhist insight practice basically describes a process where one observes direct experience with more and more clarity until the mind at some point becomes 'unstuck' of certain delusions that underlie conventional experience.

Essentially, from a Buddhist perspective, our views and perspective are prior to our emotional experience, so if you are able to see through these delusions in a final or complete way, such that we find ourselves never able to entertain them again, then the dissatisfaction that we experience as a consequence of having these views will never recur, even in the face of experiences that are conventionally extremely challenging, like personal death. Basically, you could say that Buddhist insight practice is the gradual process of trying to 'see through' dissatisfaction.

You do this by observing within phenomenal experience things like impermanence (or that experience exists only in a constant state of flux), unsatisfactoriness (that trying to rely on things that are in flux is inherently stressful), and not-self (that we cannot find in anything any inherent or immutable essence, and that all that we have are presentations or appearances). These aren't meant to be anything like conventional predicates, doctrine, or faith, we're all supposed to be literally able to see them, that is to say that everything that is presented to us via our senses, and every mental event or process that we experience, is subject to this fundamental nature.

The problem can be that, if you make it your project to just observe these things, you can wind up feeling sort of like you're homeless within the world, or like our position in the world is inherently insecure, and that there's really nowhere we can turn to try and find the solution to this insecurity. This sort of feeling, in an extreme form, you could consider "the dark night of the soul". It tends to get more extreme the further down the path you go.

But this is more relevant for people practising something sometimes called the path of 'dry insight', basically where you're doing this kind of investigation without developing something like tranquillity. Basically, tranquillity meditation can make this process a lot more smooth and palatable. One of the qualities of tranquillity meditation is equanimity (or 'imperturbability'), which is useful because we can then see the way that things are, while not being disturbed by it. Other qualities developed in tranquillity meditation are things like joy, which provides an unproblematic source of enjoyment, or a source of refuge, while you're in the process of disentangling all this stuff.
 

Monocle

Member
Vapid probably isn't the right word for it but this thread isn't excused for things like oversexualization in gay culture, heavy emphasis on looks, material wealth, masc/fem, racial issues, idolizing being in a relationship above all else, etc. It's what contributes to body image and loneliness issues that are all too common.
People like sex and focus on looks a lot, surprise.
 

halfbeast

Banned
with the recent tragedy in mind, I just want to say, that it's difficult enough dealing with negativity on a daily basis and we should aspire to be more supportive in a community like this. there's plenty of toxic attitude between gays and I like the approach of people like ratsky and kirbyfan, who manage to be welcoming to anybody even if they don't necessarily agree with their views or even like them personally.

with that said, I do think most of you are obnoxious little cunts.

have a nice day, everybody. :)
 

Vazduh

Member
Wait @ this drive-by drag hgdshfkdshgksfdsfdsfa

xBeUsPz.gif


Glad you stopped by, btw. I was wondering why you didn't post in here for quite a while. What you said isn't wrong, though, that part about trying to support each other more often.
 

Meicyn

Gold Member
First of all,

We haven't been in a Skype chat for TWO entire OTs, and we've been in the Discord chat since March of 2016, so I have no idea what you're talking about. Unless you have receipts, I need to you stay seated as per usual.

Secondly, I have no idea how I used to treat you because I don't remember any interactions with you at all, because you've been on my ignore list for god knows how long. You think too highly of yourself if you think I have it out for you or something.

I wasn't kidding when I said nobody talks about you, because a quick search through Discord reveals less than 20 mentions in the entirety of the history of the chat. So you should probably save that persecution complex for when it's actually relevant. You're an attractive and talented guy, and people go crazy every time you post a new selfie or a new song in here, so I genuinely don't know what you're talking about when you say you feel ignored. There's no 'clique', there's no shadow council, it's just a bunch of gay ass folks posting random shit they wanna talk about on a message board. Chill out, bro.
Yeah, not letting this one slide. You know what's funny? I know exactly what Bluebadger is talking about, because I used to be part of said clique. I wasn't going to jump in until I saw you make a claim that there isn't one. I mean, maybe there isn't one now as I no longer have access to a certain Discord chat - perhaps it was disbanded, perhaps I was booted. Who knows? But there certainly was a clique. Hell, many of those members met in Florida at one point. After all, I'm the guy who arranged that whole spiel. There's photographic evidence. Does Bitch Creek ring a bell? Jesus Christ, we even had artwork of our group.

I don't know why you selected the migration to Discord in March 2016 as your arbitrary cutoff point, but you couldn't possibly be more intellectually dishonest. I know for a fact that some mean shit went down on video and/or voice chat over the years on Skype or Tinygaf which you know... the records can't just be pulled up like a text log. I won't name names, and I'm not even suggesting you specifically said anything about him. Hell, it's very well possible that I said something about him at one point myself for which I apologize to Bluebadger if I had. But he's not making shit up and I don't know why you feel the need to proclaim that it's all in his head. He retreated from this thread for a period of time. I remember how he was treated because I was there to read and hear some of that gossip. He's not the first casualty, and he certainly wasn't the last either.

"There's no clique" my ass. Biggest lie told of 2017.
 

Rayis

Member
I may or may not be trying to add more fuel to the fire
after all I love me some good ol' drama
but I do remember a particular instance in which BlueBadger posted an unlisted music video of his from YouTube and right after he posted it in this thread it got lots of dislikes, and it was unlisted whic means we were the only ones with access to it, I can vouch for BlueBadger that there was a lot of hostility towards him when he first came to this thread.
 
Ancient drama, showing up in this thread. A lot more likely than you'd think ?
im meme reference trash

Surly we set the clocks back last night before the REAL mess commences

tumblr_ofpr8gZzjB1u6n38po1_400.gif
 
I said something about you last night in the chat BB. That is... after you made the thread about you again.

But hey, way to change the mood in here from recent events. Quite the success.
 

daripad

Member
I'm sorry for what happened to Pample. I wish his family the best for them :(

Guys, please, do not be toxic towards each other. If you feel bothered by a post in this thread try to talk about it privately or just ignore it.
 
Think we should get back to my zipper incident.
So how are your balls doing a few hours later ? :eek:
I'm sorry for what happened to Pample. I wish his family the best for them :(

Guys, please, do not be toxic towards each other. If you feel bothered by a post in this thread try to talk about it privately or just ignore it.
We really shouldn't be toxic to one another indeed. 9 threads (well 10+ technically) and we still haven't learned a damn thing lol
 
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