Throughout the world, the holiday season is greeted by joyful music that brightens hearts and evokes wonderful memories.
(Except for poor people. The don't get any joyous music. Oh, and our troops in Iraq. Oh, and the Iraquis. Oh, and the Afghani people. Oh, and lots of people in Africa, but I already mentioned poor people. And I'm pretty sure the only 'wonderful memories' in the Ukraine right now is nostalgia for Yushchenko's face.)
This years theme brings to the White House the magic of holiday songs that have been favorites for generations of Americans.
(Songs we'll sing for decades more, like the new hit, "All I Want for Christmas is Armor, Mr. Rumsfeld" and the very seasonal "It's Finally Snowing in the Social Security Line".)
The grand halls and splendid rooms of Americas house are decorated with delightful vignettes illustrating many of the best-loved songs of the season.
("Away In a Manger", "Silent Night", "Little Drummer Boy", "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus", "Santa Spelled Sideways is Satan", and my favorite, Pat Robertson's version of "Burn in Hell You Unbelievers 'Cause It's Christmas".)
We are grateful to the members of the White House Executive Residence staff who have created these marvelous scenes.
(Never before has the traditional Bush Family Holiday Science Book Burning been so successful. Shit, the staff know who they are and what to say if asked any nosy questions.)
Our thanks go also to the many florists from across the country who give their time, talent and boundless energy to transform the White House into a wonderland of beauty and song.
(And of course we *snicker* paid for it all *snicker* with our own *giggle* money. Really!)
Enjoy your holiday visit, and sing along!
(You can get tickets at the gate or make three easy installments of $2999.95 through the mail. Why bother decorating your own home, come see how you've decorated ours!)
