Behold! Instalment three of the grand, epic adventure known to all and sundry as...
The Sales-Age Saga
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Chapter 1 (MC 3/19 -3/25 2007)
Chapter 2 (MC 3/26 - 4/1 2007)
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Dramatis Personae:
John: Human Male
Elsie Dee: Female Wii
Henry David: Male XBox 360 Premium
Tack: Male XBox 360 Core
Bob Roberts: Male Playstation 3
Dennis Stark: Male Nintendo DS
Clementine Shelley: Female Gameboy Advance SP
Duke Richard Eddington: Male Playstation 2
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Chapter 3: The Console Graveyard
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The wind swirled about as the tiny band of people (well, people in a loose sense of the word, anyway) stood silent on the plot of grassy land.
After several moments, the majority of the systems split up and went in separate directions, presumably to pay respects to their respective predecessors. John noted several grave markers that were ill-maintained, the granite crumbled, the inscriptions faded, grass and weeds growing thickly around the plots - stark contrast to the neatly trimmed ground around the area the consoles seemed to be milling.
After taking a glance at what appeared to be an eternally grey sky, John turned and walked the short distance towards these ill-used gravestones.
TurboGrafx - 16/PC Engine
1987 - 1993
"These are known as the Forgotten Ones." A voice interrupted from behind. Turning, he saw the wizened form of Clementine as she plodded slowly up to him.
"None mourned their passing, none visit their graves, and few remember their existence." The old GBASP let out a slow sigh, and settled herself onto a nearby tree stump. "When I pass on - and it will be soon - I will not suffer their fate." A melancholy smile made its way onto her face. "I wonder what it must have been like to have been them."
John lowered his head. "This Console Graveyard..."
"None know how it came to be. It's very own pocket dimension; where none may breach and defile these lands." She chuckled with mirth. "Not that anyone would want to. Precious few even know of our existence as sentient beings."
Abruptly, she fell silent again, and pulling herself to her feet, she hobbled over to another row of grave markers. The area around this set was well kept, and a light breeze kicked up as John hurried to join her.
His eyes widened as he stared down at this particular row.
Sega Gamegear
1990 - 1995
Sega Dreamcast
1998 - 2001
"I came into the world just as their star faded from existence forever. It's a crying shame what happened." Clementine said with a sigh. "I'm proud of my heritage - and my predecessors went head to head with these guys more than once. 'Course, it was a moot point when the Playstation family came along, really."
"..." John tucked his hands into his pockets, trying hard to look respectful. "I'm, uh..."
"Don't try saying you're sorry, lad." The GBASP glanced up at him with wry humour. "I've seen you taunting Sega fans on the internet many a time."
"Oh. Uh, well, that is an
entirely unrelated matter, I can assure you."
"I'm sure, I'm sure." The old woman chuckled again. "Come on. We should rejoin with the others."
*~*
"You humans sure are lucky."
"Huh?" John glanced up at the person who had made that remark.
Dennis was off to the side, leaning upon his staff. "You guys get sixty - seventy years on average. Us game systems? We last five, maybe six of even seven years if we can manage it. But then we fade."
"..."
"You know my ancestor - the original Gameboy?"
"But I thought you were the third pill-"
"Ah, stow it." Dennis swung his staff around, clonking John on the head with it. "I'm the torchbearer for the next-generation of Nintendo's handhelds, and everyone knows it." On that note, Dennis reached up to touch the silver circlet on his forehead. "This crown wasn't just given to me on a whim, you know."
John frowned. "Speaking of which, where's my PSP?"
"She's been feeling a bit unwell recently, so she didn't come." Dennis frowned, then brightened up. "The recent announcement of Crisis Core's release date and that new Harvey Birdman should perk her up some, though."
"Oh." John said. He seemed to be saying that a lot recently.
"Anyway, like I was saying, we get a few years and that was it. The Gameboy lasted a heck of a lot longer than most, but it was still a fraction of the lives you people get. No different for any of us. Even Richard..." Dennis paused and looked over at the old Playstation 2, who was currently locked in conversation with Tack and Elsie. "He's still pretty healthy, but time is taking its toll. It's no different for anyone." He paused again, cocking his head slightly to the side.
"Well, unless you count
him."
"Him? Him who?"
Before Dennis could answer, there was a metallic clang nearby, and John quickly shifted his position.
Striding up to their group was what appeared to be a robot. It was completely asymmetrical, save the number of limbs on either side. As it strode up to meet them, Richard smoothly stepped into the mechanical being's way, blocking the path.
"And what do
you want, Peter?" Richard asked wearily.
"Nothing." The machine replied in a harsh, metallic voice. "Merely to observe this boy whom you all insist on paying so much attention to."
"Of all places that which we could have met, I would never have thought it would be in the Graveyard." Richard's eyes were hard, his mask a stern mask.
The metal being jerked with laughter. "Scared of your own mortality, Playstation 2?" It raised a hand, pointing towards one of the gravestones. "Perhaps you should have joined me in the path
I chose."
"What, artificially prolonging your existence by constantly swapping out parts?" Richard snorted angrily. "I'd be surprised if there's any of your original self still in that thing you call a body."
The pointing hand shifted within itself, abruptly morphing into what appeared to be a miniature cannon. From it a blade made entirely out of blazing energy formed. John gulped and took a step back.
"I will not be mocked, Duke." The machine said calmly. "Say what you will about my methods, but they allow for far more games to be played on me then one such as
you could ever dream of!"
"Forgive me, sire." Dennis was speaking up, staff laid out casually across his shoulders. "I hate to interrupt you sir, but it seems to be that you right thumb is slightly outdated."
The machine paused for several seconds, mentally considering Dennis' words. "Perhaps you are right. There are upgrades which would allow my right thumb joint to clench with far greater efficiency that they do now." He turned to glare sourly at the Playstation 2. "Until next time."
Once he had left, John heaved a silent sigh of relief. "Who - what was that?"
"Haven't you guessed?" Henry said softly. "He's a PC. One of those that survive through constant upgrading of hardware. Consoles really don't have that luxury."
"The rivalry between consoles and computers have lasted for a long time, you see." Dennis explained to John. "The XBox line tried to mediate the dispute some, but the Playstations still remain largely opposed to the whole thing."
"..." John remained silent, watching the path down which the PC had disappeared.
*~*
"Right, DFA's charged up again." Elsie called. "And
this time, we're heading for a dimension with strong Playstation 3 and Playstation Portable sales, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah." Henry grumbled. Meanwhile, Tack glanced around. "Where's Bob?"
"Probably off skulking somewhere." Elsie shrugged. "No worries, the DFA's been set to drag him along wherever we go."
"Guess that's okay, then..."
"Right. Everyone ready? And here we go..."
POOF!
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As always, feedback would be much appreciated.