Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.

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You know... It's kind of cruel when you are on the phone with someone you want to be in a relationship with, and they start going on a tangent about some guy they like.

That's just... Hurtful...

What an ass.

You're an awesome guy, Wilson. Don't waste your time on people who are not good enough for you. <3
 
You know... It's kind of cruel when you are on the phone with someone you want to be in a relationship with, and they start going on a tangent about some guy they like.

That's just... Hurtful...
The two fine gentlemen above me got this, but. If you told them how you feel and they are doing this, multiply by infinity and run, don't walk. If they're ignorant of your feelings, then at least they aren't hurting you deliberately.

Still here, still reading.

My endocrine system treatment plan has gone sideways, so I'm not feeling so great mentally right now. Apparently my thyroid was mega-fucked in October, less fucked in February, and now trucking along like nothing ever happened. How am I supposed to get this shit fixed if the instant the right doctor talks to me, it acts like nothing is wrong? I have a couple of possible hypothesis as to what has changed in my life that might have messed with it temporarily, but they both would probably sound crazy to a trained medical professional. Urgh.

Mental health = tanking. Physical health, on the other hand? I haven't had this much energy to spend on a daily basis nor ability to concentrate long enough to do anything good in a long time, so I'm just enjoying it while it lasts.
 
You know... It's kind of cruel when you are on the phone with someone you want to be in a relationship with, and they start going on a tangent about some guy they like.

That's just... Hurtful...

A lot of hurtful people out there man, I once tried dating a girl that did the same thing to me and I ended up just leaving the whole thing behind.
 
Man, now I'm getting thoughts about how exaggrated human features are and that is freaking me out. As soon as I'm done with one illness I get another illness.
 
Reading some of the other posts in this thread made me question whether I really have depression or not. Because comparatively, it's not that bad for me. I've never had suicidal thoughts. I've never had to take any meds. I've never talked to a psychiatrist or psychologist. And most of the time, I'm kinda.. alright. Not happy. Absolutely not happy at all. But alright. Kind of. Just a bit down.
 
Hey, Ambitious! Like many things, there are degrees to mental illness. Just as is better to go see a doctor about a cold before it turns into pneumonia, it is also better to go see someone about depression before suicidal ideation kicks in. If depression is sucking all the joy from your life, or you're constantly sad, I'd say it is time. At the very least, you could attempt to learn some coping mechanisms on your own, such as meditation or begin exercise. (In the case of a long wait or if medical care is currently out of your budget.)

Don't feel like your problems aren't valid just because they aren't severe. Basically, how (some) MH problems get worse is by rewiring your brain until you only react to stimulus with the negative and well worn pathways. If you have a chance to interrupt that process from happening, take it!
 
It's always a fun thing when you make a rude comment to someone, you apologize, they seem to accept it, and then they suddenly turn and go straight for the fucking jugular.
 
Finally, slowly, coming to terms with my clinical depression and talking about it. It's been so much more "real" since opening up. You'd think half my life would be long enough. So there's that.
 
Reading some of the other posts in this thread made me question whether I really have depression or not. Because comparatively, it's not that bad for me. I've never had suicidal thoughts. I've never had to take any meds. I've never talked to a psychiatrist or psychologist. And most of the time, I'm kinda.. alright. Not happy. Absolutely not happy at all. But alright. Kind of. Just a bit down.

Sounds a little like dysthymia. That's my normal operating level, I swing back and forth between that and deep depression. Dysthymia is a form of depression its just more manageable but has some long term negative effects. As the world gets ever shittier and more complicated I foresee dysthymia becoming the norm for many people just to make it through the day.
 
How do you justify it all? For me, I feel like I'm doing what I'm doing because it's expected of me. I've long given up on my dream jobs and this is all I have left.

Same. I just live, I don't have much expectation. Just waiting for the right time to end it all, I guess. But I'm not worried about this anymore. I used to think a lot, now I just don't care anymore.

Do you understand what I'm saying? I know it's confusing :(
 
You know... It's kind of cruel when you are on the phone with someone you want to be in a relationship with, and they start going on a tangent about some guy they like.

That's just... Hurtful...

I've been there man. I hate to say, but that's a sign things are gonna end. At least for me. I was in a long distance relationship so it hurt even more. Honestly if a girl (or guy) is like that, they don't deserve to be in a relationship with you, cause obviously they don't care.

And also if they care about you, someone won't act like that after a semi rude comment. They may be hurt, but lashing our is an action done by someone you want as a partner.
 
It really hurts. If I just knew what the issue was, but I don't.
Don't even want to message anyone anymore. It's futile.

Lol. I don't mean to say it's your case, but in my case it's just that I'm ugly. That's it. I look at myself in the mirror and get disgusted, I can understand why no one ever replies. :|
 
Well, I feel like things are just getting worse.

Last night a good friend of mine that has really been helpful in having someone to just hang out with, drink a couple beers, listen to music, smoke weed and chit chat.

Well, he invited me over, we have a good time for a few hours and then this other neighbor, which he revealed to me he had also invited over, okay no big problem me and this other guy have met and get along alright so no big deal. Well, like after five minutes he starts in about talking about what I've been doing with my life, my job situation, etc etc and so I start telling him what I'm doing.

Well, then they both tell me they are just concerned with my situation, that I don't do enough, and that I don't do enough to help my family. They tell ask me why I can't get a job, and even though I told them just how much I've been working on trying to get a job, any job, and having failed they insinuate that there is something that is ticking off these employers. They ask me why I can't drive, and tell me to just get over my ptsd and depression, thing is they shouldn't know about my depression because I've never mentioned it. A lot of what they said sounded exactly like the same hurtful ignorant shit that my dad's friend's wife says, whenever I talk to her. She regularly shits all over me and talks behind my back, and thinks that all pot smokers are nothing neredowells who are drug addicts and bad people. She also doesn't believe in mental disease. Actually, I could go on and on about what kind of person she is, but I don't want to, you wouldn't believe me how awful she and her family are.

So, after hearing them tell me to give up on my novel, what I want to do with my life is wrong or a hobby, and all this shit I ended up leaving, and going home and telling my mom. Fast forward to today, and the same spiteful lady let's call her... Sue, asks my mother to watch her disabled 30 year old son, well fast forward like three to four hours later and my mom finally comes home, sits me down and tells me that Sue brought up some very specific things, too specific to consider a simple coincidence and she half admitted to spearheading the whole "intervention" a word which I use really lightly here.



I'm surrounded by fucking imbeciles, and my feelings that most people are shit and that I want nothing to do with them is almost continually reinforced. I thought finally I had found some people who could accept me for who I am but of course that was a fucking pipe dream when I am trapped in this city of assholes.

I then called my dad and talked to him about it and he mostly had my back until we started talking moving and some other things and eventually it just devolved into the usual hurtful conversation about life, bills, and how my opinion doesn't matter. The more I look at the future the less I want to be around, I'm so tired of everything, I'm tired of struggling and never finding a place, I'm tired of being miserable, and I'm tired of worrying about bills and the future and everything.

The more I see of the future the less I want to be around.
 
Sorry to hear that, RoyalDuke. I hope things will improve.

I've been up and down. Sometimes my depression has been bad. I don't think things have fully hit me.

I've been talking to this really cute/great seeming girl I met on Craigslist (the dating part), and she wants to meet. We've been talking pretty much non-stop through BBM for the last few days.

She's so good looking, though, and has her head on straight. I worry she'll dislike me. I don't feel good enough for her, so I already feel defeated.
 
Today I told my dad that I basically sit at my desk contemplating suicide all day, and his response was "buck up because you still have another 30 or 40 years of this." And that depressed me even more.
 
I feel like it's been a few days since I posted, so I'll post an update:
Things are still going super well here in New Hampshire! My job is going really well - I'm enjoying it more and more each day. Really the only minor issue I have is that I took on a second part-time job (not because I need the money but because it seems like a great opportunity that could lead to something bigger) and I'm starting to question my decision to work more than 40 hours a week. The good news is that I can quit that job whenever I'd like (I'm not ready to yet because I still think it's a great opportunity that I want to pursue even if I'd rather not be working two jobs), so even that isn't too big of a deal.
 
These past 9 or so months have been a really terrible time for me. Since my junior year in college started I got into a pretty bad depression and I think it started with initial self-esteem issues from when I initially started college. The pressure of not knowing what I wanted to do in my life with school, feeling like I was a complete loser and piece of garbage that no one but my family cared about, and never being able to pursue my personal goals really got to me this year and it really burst. The beginning of March I wanted to believe that I did have control in my life and I started working out and eliminated a bunch of things that I think were messing me up. I really want to believe that I've made changes and that I'm getting better but sometimes I really still feel like I'm messed up and going crazy but I want nothing more than to feel like I'm normal. And sometimes I'm scared that I'm not.
 
These past 9 or so months have been a really terrible time for me. Since my junior year in college started I got into a pretty bad depression and I think it started with initial self-esteem issues from when I initially started college. The pressure of not knowing what I wanted to do in my life with school, feeling like I was a complete loser and piece of garbage that no one but my family cared about, and never being able to pursue my personal goals really got to me this year and it really burst. The beginning of March I wanted to believe that I did have control in my life and I started working out and eliminated a bunch of things that I think were messing me up. I really want to believe that I've made changes and that I'm getting better but sometimes I really still feel like I'm messed up and going crazy but I want nothing more than to feel like I'm normal. And sometimes I'm scared that I'm not.

I know what you're feeling, so I guess you're normal in that way :)

I'm going into my first year at University in September and I feel that when I get there the increased freedom is going to make me do something drastic (not suicide, thankfully). Right now I feel like I have no control over my life, like I'm just going along with whatever because that's what I just have to do. I'm doing a degree I don't feel much passion for, my body just keeps getting more and more disgusting and not having any form of income is messing up my relationship towards money. It's so frustrating to never really feel "normal" no matter what you do, it really does take over your mind after a while and there's always a chance that it will turn into self-deprecation and harm.

It's a shit situation all around. Whilst I'm not the best person to ask, my advice would be to make changes that can be sustainable; working out as part of a healthy daily routine is amazing and I wish you all the best in that. Other than that I don't have much to say, if I did I wouldn't be having the same worries myself!
 
I wish I wouldn't get so nervous around and about meeting women. Or that my OCD wouldn't affect my dating and/or very limited sex life. Being a clean freak who's afraid of touching bodily fluids is hard.

Note: If this reads like I'm complaining about having an active sex life, it's not that. I don't get it much. A friend was interested in doing things as FWB, but my OCD turned her off.
 
I blush at the most innocuous things, it's embarassing. It accentuates my shyness which I don't think is very extreme at all otherwise. I guess I sub-consciously feel all eyes are on me when that's obviously not the case and nobody cares. I know that, yet my body still subconsciously triggers it in (not embarassing) circumstances, simply when I'm being friendly to anyone. I'm very pale so it's pretty noticeable.

I also have Chewie's problem surrounding nervousness around attractive women, and I'm sure I'd blush there if I wasn't such a chicken. This is driving me insane and I have no idea what is going on.
 
I tend to blush too. The worst thing is when somebody points out that you're blushing, which makes you blush even more, and then they decide it's a good idea to point out that you're blushing more. Love it.
 
I should never have tried online dating. I feel so much worse now. No one ever replies.

I didn't mean literally no one, by the way. I've got two replies. It's been almost have a year since I registered, and just two users ever responded. It sucks.

The first user was really happy about my message and wanted to get to know me (I can't even find words to express how incredibly excited and happy I was about that), but they also warned that they have a fulfilled social life and sometimes have phases in which they don't visit the site and/or reply for a long time.
Well, I didn't ask them to define "long", but it's been six weeks since my second message. Six weeks, in which I visited the site countless times on every single day, excitedly waiting for a response. But that excitement is gone. Despite their warning, I kind of don't expect an answer anymore.

The second one? Now that's funny.
Nice profile, nice person. They mentioned in their profile that they love to help people and invited others to message them in case anyone wants to talk about personal problems, because they'd be happy to help. So I did: I introduced myself, explained my situation, and asked why pretty much everyone is ignoring me. I pointed out possible problems with my profile and asked for their opinion on it.
They expressed their understanding and sympathy and promised to answer later, because they were replying using their phone at the moment. Two days later, they sent another message, apologizing for not having had enough time to read my entire message and think about it, and again promising to reply as soon as they were able to do so.
It's been ten days. I don't believe they haven't found some time to reply in ten days. I actually noticed them being online for hours on several occasions. So I don't expect an answer anymore. It's fucking ironic, isn't it?
 
God. I'm worried.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few months back and got put on medication--medication that's helped in heaps and bounds with my mood swings and anxiety, and that's great. I'm the happiest I've been with my personal life in a long time.

But then a problem comes up.

My best friend is in a similar boat--they've been diagnosed with PTSD and depression and got put on medication for it. After a few weeks of a really good upswing. They were doing well--they were the most active and motivated than I've ever seen. But then they had a poor reaction to the medication after a few weeks and now spend 12-14 hours of the day sleeping, with their sleep schedule completely fucked up. Going to bed at 7am, waking up near 7pm kind of fucked. They haven't been able to be awake to schedule a doctor's appointment in a week--and the first time they called was only because I called them to make sure they were up.

The kicker is, we're planning on moving in together in a few months. They aren't working right now. They work freelance and don't have a difficult time making money when they are able to work... But right now they aren't really even trying.

I've offered to cover the total rent of our new place for a month or two if necessary, but I can't do it forever. I'm worried that they won't get back to work quickly enough to make enough money to, at the very least, buy their own furniture or help out with some expenses.

I'm worried that this can happen again after we've moved in and I'm stuck dealing with rent and utilities and food on my own. But I can't give an ultimatum, I can't in good faith look at someone and say: "You need to do <x> or we can't do <y>." I feel like an asshole for even thinking of bringing it up when they can barely function during the hours I'm awake.

Maybe it'll fix itself soon. Maybe I'll bring something up. All I know is that it's bringing my anxiety back and I'm not okay with that fact, and it's selfish as hell of me.
 
Sylas, you sound sensible, not selfish. Dealing with your own problems is rough, especially in the beginning of treatment, and it seems like you might have to shoulder at least the financial burden of not just yourself but your bestie. It is normal to get anxious about that kind of increased responsibility, as I'm sure your therapist will agree. Call in an emergency session with them if you feel you need it.

Typically, medication for mental health issues does have a long adjustment period, many are three months or longer in my experience. If you have the ability to get in a "wait and see" holding pattern right now, I think that may be a good idea. However, if they change doses or medications, something like this can and probably will happen again in the future. Heck, having a messed up sleep cycle and sleeping in a near-coma state all day can be symptoms of untreated depression for some (they are for me).

I'm sure if you can and want to postpone the move-in until you're both adjusted well and working, your friend will understand. If you've already signed a lease together, do your research on what it would take to break it, or get someone else as a roomate in case your best friend can't handle it in the end. There's nothing wrong with having an exit plan in place if you want to have faith in your friend and make the effort.
 
Thanks. I was thinking of talking to them if I don't see much in the way of change sometime soon. It hurts to see someone so vibrant and brilliant get pulled under by the medication they were prescribed and be unable to pull themselves out of it.

I'm going to see if they've been taking their medication in the afternoon or evening, as one of the side effects is grogginess and then an inability to sleep--which is fine in the morning as they work from home, but it becomes a problem if they take the medication upon waking.

I do need to have a serious discussion with them about this potentially happening again because I can't be caught unawares if I'm to shoulder a relatively large financial burden every once in a while. A few days downtime is fine, but eventually someone needs to step up and try and get the problem fixed. The fact that it's dragging on with no end in sight is what's really bothering me, I suppose.

It really does come down to the fact that I know how hard it can be firsthand, but nobody is going to fix it for you. It's frustrating and anxiety-inducing, so thank you for letting me vent.
 
About 2 months ago, I quit my job and moved 600 miles with my fiance so that they could pursue a career offer they were given. Since the move I have been this weird depressed, anxiety filled, stressed out mess. Which isn't new territory, I've been through it before.

My issue is night terrors. From what I read, they seem to go away by themselves after a while. I am on week number 2 and it is killing me. I'm afraid to go to bed at this point and just wishing it would stop.

Anyone have any experience with them?
 
About 2 months ago, I quit my job and moved 600 miles with my fiance so that they could pursue a career offer they were given. Since the move I have been this weird depressed, anxiety filled, stressed out mess. Which isn't new territory, I've been through it before.

My issue is night terrors. From what I read, they seem to go away by themselves after a while. I am on week number 2 and it is killing me. I'm afraid to go to bed at this point and just wishing it would stop.

Anyone have any experience with them?
Hi! I'm almost 40 and I still rip off my sheets and wake up in cold sweats a couple of times a month. As I've aged, my ability to vividly remember dreams has decreased (and true night terrors are seldom remembered), but it isn't uncommon for me to wake up because I'm having an anxiety attack.

You may want to pursue the dentist/doctor to make sure there's no bruxism or apnea, etcetera, but once those avenues are exhausted, all I can seem to find are home remedies and supplements. Melatonin doesn't seem to make me sleepy, but it does keep me there and seems to prevent nightmares or terrors from happening. I think essential oils are bunk for the most part (unless those claims are backed up by extensive scientific study), but I'm going to be trying an external lavender blend I found pretty soon, and I've been looking at Bach's rescue remedy to enhance my exposure therapy for social anxiety, seems it helps with night terrors as well.
 
I don't want to derail the thread. I've never posted here before. About a year ago I was going to a really rough patch. I was dealing with Insomnia, anxiety disorder, panic disorder. All stemming from my Chemo treatment to get rid of Hep C. Multiple medications for all three different parts. Went through alot of different ones. Ambien, Effexor, Welllburtin, Remeron, cilonazepam, etc.

I just wanted to say that even though I didn't participate in the thread, the encouragement reading other's stories definitely helped me.

It's been a year now, And I'm finally free from all my medication and operating somewhat normally.

Just wanted to drop in and say Thanks for your stories and encouragement.
 
I don't want to derail the thread. I've never posted here before. About a year ago I was going to a really rough patch. I was dealing with Insomnia, anxiety disorder, panic disorder. All stemming from my Chemo treatment to get rid of Hep C. Multiple medications for all three different parts. Went through alot of different ones. Ambien, Effexor, Welllburtin, Remeron, cilonazepam, etc.

I just wanted to say that even though I didn't participate in the thread, the encouragement reading other's stories definitely helped me.

It's been a year now, And I'm finally free from all my medication and operating somewhat normally.

Just wanted to drop in and say Thanks for your stories and encouragement.

So glad to hear that you're doing better! It's also always great to hear that this thread has helped people.
And don't even worry for a second that you've derailed this thread in any way, shape, or form. You have just as much of a right to post in this thread as anyone else, and your posts are just as valid as anyone else's. You most certainly didn't derail anything.
 
Ketamine Lifts Depression via a Byproduct of its Metabolism
A chemical byproduct, or metabolite, created as the body breaks down ketamine likely holds the secret to its rapid antidepressant action, National Institutes of Health (NIH) scientists and grantees have discovered. This metabolite singularly reversed depression-like behaviors in mice without triggering any of the anesthetic, dissociative, or addictive side effects associated with ketamine.

“This discovery fundamentally changes our understanding of how this rapid antidepressant mechanism works and holds promise for development of more robust and safer treatments,” said Carlos Zarate, M.D. of the NIH’s National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), a study co-author and a pioneer of research using ketamine to treat depression. “By using a team approach, researchers were able to reverse-engineer ketamine’s workings from the clinic to the lab to pinpoint what makes it so unique.”

Bring it on science!
 
I finally managed to land a part time USPS mail carrier job. I don't know when I start yet. I'm terrified. I can't handle people relying on me and expecting things of me because the constant fear of letting them down will leave me a wreck. At least in college the only person I could let down was myself, and when I did volunteer work I didn't feel like I owed the supervisors anything since I wasn't getting paid.

I am also tapering off of the Neurontin because all it was doing was making me drowsy and I'm starting Abilify. My psychiatrist seems to be at a loss. He gave me the name of another psychiatrist for a second opinion. I kind of don't even care about any of this anymore.
 
What's the consensus on Wellbutrin? I am beginning to believe it's contributing to my apathy. I bring this up because, well, I am in this mode where my desires for social interaction seem to be lessened and I can't gauge if it's the medication or some weird, nebulous personality trait that I somehow subconsciously developed over time. It's kind of stressing me out (among other things) because it feels like I have to settle for that due to putting more stress on myself to not be that way. The thing is, I was pretty fucking gung-ho about going out and meeting people, experiencing new things a couple years ago but somehow it just doesn't seem that much of a priority or even a priority at all. I don't know, it just seems to me as we get older, things become more frustratingly absolute.
 
Well, I saw my therapist on monday and she got back to me with some results from some tests I took the last couple of times I was there.

I'm officially diagnosed with Aspergers, bipolar 1, major depressive disorder, and schizophrenia.

I'm really depressed. :( I mean I guess it is good to have a label so that I can get disability because that is what it looks like it has come down to. I don't know if I will get it but it is kinda my last hope right now since things are looking really, really fucking dire.
 
Its been a long time since ive posted anything like this before..

My best friend passed away 2 days ago. I quit my job because they refused to give me time to grieve and mourn. Ive been crying a lot, its eased up but i still weep randomly. It feels like there is a burning hole in my chest. I feel lost. I dont know what career i want anymore. I dont know who I want to be. His death and me not being there when he passed has caused all of my being to shift. I dont feel the same.

My anxiety and depression are eating me alive and Im struggling to battle my brain right now. I dont know what to do.
 
Coming off Depakote after being on it for over a decade. Noticing I'm having a lot more anxiety but managing it OK. Exercising daily seems to help.

I'm taking 250mg now where I was on 500mg before. I'm wondering how I'll do without it after all this time. I know when I first started taking it it helped me think clearer but now I don't feel I needed any longer.
 
Its been a long time since ive posted anything like this before..

My best friend passed away 2 days ago. I quit my job because they refused to give me time to grieve and mourn. Ive been crying a lot, its eased up but i still weep randomly. It feels like there is a burning hole in my chest. I feel lost. I dont know what career i want anymore. I dont know who I want to be. His death and me not being there when he passed has caused all of my being to shift. I dont feel the same.

My anxiety and depression are eating me alive and Im struggling to battle my brain right now. I dont know what to do.
I am sorry to hear about your friend passing. My condolences. That your employer refused to give you time to mourn I find abysmal; did they at least try to offer you some kind of support at work?

Do you have someone close you can talk to about all this?
 
Rösti;202744487 said:
I am sorry to hear about your friend passing. My condolences. That your employer refused to give you time to mourn I find abysmal; did they at least try to offer you some kind of support at work?

Do you have someone close you can talk to about all this?

No, they just said sorry. I asked them all for time off and all of them chose to ignore my messages so I said fuck this and didnt go back. I couldn't believe a company to be so cruel and not reach out. It was disgusting to me.

I've been talking to my boyfriend more than anything, frankly. I'm not the best with people so I don't have many friends.
 
Its been a long time since ive posted anything like this before..

My best friend passed away 2 days ago. I quit my job because they refused to give me time to grieve and mourn. Ive been crying a lot, its eased up but i still weep randomly. It feels like there is a burning hole in my chest. I feel lost. I dont know what career i want anymore. I dont know who I want to be. His death and me not being there when he passed has caused all of my being to shift. I dont feel the same.

My anxiety and depression are eating me alive and Im struggling to battle my brain right now. I dont know what to do.

Deeply sorry for your loss. :( It's so hard when it's people close to you. It feels like a part of you has left with them.
 
Got prescription prozac today. What should I expect?

Sexual side effects are pretty common, like inability to maintain an erection or have an orgasm. That's something I struggled with a lot (and still do, even off the drug which has been very distressing). You might also feel more tired or anxious. The drug takes time to build up in your system so I wouldn't expect to feel much better for several weeks (if it helps you at all, in which case your doc will probably try out another antidepressant).
 
Sexual side effects are pretty common, like inability to maintain an erection or have an orgasm. That's something I struggled with a lot (and still do, even off the drug which has been very distressing). You might also feel more tired or anxious. The drug takes time to build up in your system so I wouldn't expect to feel much better for several weeks (if it helps you at all, in which case your doc will probably try out another antidepressant).
Okay, thanks!
 
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