Really missing my Mom.
Is that on HBO?Watched the VICE documentary of Japan's suicide forest.
Was oddly relaxing.
A few pages back I read a story of a gaffer who went there, that hit me hard.
I'm sorry for your loss.Really missing my Mom.
Has she passed? I'm missing my oldest brother(suicide) and my best friend(heart condition). They both flood my thoughts constantly.
Is that on HBO?
I'm sorry for your loss.
I've been angry everyday since Wednesday. When I say angry, I mean generally, not because of certain events. I've been trying not to take it out on anyone. I'm not use to such anger. For most of my life I funneled my emotions into sadness. While I'm not being destructive, I'm not constructive either.
Why is it that waking up is the worst? After a nap or a nights sleep, I just get hit worh everything and feel so alone and hopeless, even if I felt great before falling asleep. It takes me an hour or 2 to snap out of that too.
I just got info that my (former) crush had her baby. Even though I thought I was over it and knew it from the beginning, I've been shaking the whole day. Just as the last two weeks were actually getting better - bam, suckerpunch again.
You should be happy for her.
You will be fine. As long as you take it some time that day, you are good to go - it doesn't have to be spaced perfectly. You want it in your system consistently, as antidepressants work over time (which is why doubling up if you miss a dose doesn't really change much).Is it bad when you take your meds at 8PM and then at 12PM the next day? I have an irregular work schedule and the time I tend to take my meds differs from day to day. Always in the evening, but usually a few hours apart.
You are free to check yourself in and out, as long as it's determined that you are not at risk of harming yourself or others.What happens when you go to a psych hospital? I'm seriously contemplating it because I just can't anymore right now. My father constantly threatens to hurt me, I'm being out of their home. My wife is further distancing herself from me and I still have no job or money. I need to leave this state and start over its too much hurt here. I don't know anything about psych hospitals. Would I be able to leave on my own? Will they evaluate me and give me medication?
What happens when you go to a psych hospital? I'm seriously contemplating it because I just can't anymore right now. My father constantly threatens to hurt me, I'm being out of their home. My wife is further distancing herself from me and I still have no job or money. I need to leave this state and start over its too much hurt here. I don't know anything about psych hospitals. Would I be able to leave on my own? Will they evaluate me and give me medication?
Here is a really stupid question. I got propranolol prescribed because reasons and I was wondering if that shit could kill me, like my heart won't stop beating or anything? My doctor said I should take 20mg per day during a few months, won't my body become really addicted to it? What happens when I stop taking it?
My loneliness has reached a new low. I feel absolutely terrible. I feel ill. On dating sites, people either ghost me right away, or at some later point. But they always do. And I'm not even looking for dates only; I also want to find friends. In real life, I find it hard to approach people. And if I manage to do it, and if we actually have a conversation (two big ifs), at some point they either lose interest, or they go away to talk to someone else for a while but then simply forget about me. I can't deal with this anymore. I feel so weak, so depleted. Both physically and mentally. I don't feel like doing anything. Don't want to work on my university assignments. Don't want to play video games. Don't feel like doing anything at all. I stay in bed as long as I can. And then I spend the entire day just killing time until I can go to bed again. Rinse and repeat the next day. At this point, I think I would actually pay someone to give me a hug. I think I'd do that. But then I'd realize they actually don't give a shit about me, so I'd feel even worse. Wanna know how long it's been since the last time someone hugged me? Well I can't tell you. I don't know. Years. Many, many years.
I've gone through so many changes over the course of the last few months, I became a so much better person, all of which is reflected on my dating profiles. Still nothing. I'm alone every single day, morning to evening. Don't feel like leaving the apartment anymore. It only leads to pain. I went to a club on Friday. I did talk to a few people, but ultimately I ended up sitting alone in a corner. People had formed small circles everywhere, and I didn't dare to barge in. Snuck away without saying goodbye to anyone and cried at home. I should go there again. I should try again to integrate myself. Maybe someone remembers me, maybe they'd talk to me. But what if not? I can't deal with this.
Had an amazing (online) and deep conversation with a girl recently. We had so much fun. And at some point, she actually suggested to meet up. She seriously did. I cannot even describe my happiness back then. My first date. My first date ever, in my entire life. Not just with anyone, but with a person I felt like I had a real connection to. And then she ghosted me. Like all the others. No, she didn't just honestly tell me she lost interest and the reason she did, but she simply stopped responding. People don't even say "no" to me. I'm not even worth the time to reject. People just ignore me. Now as I'm writing this, I'm crying again. I can't deal with this. Always alone.
What am I supposed to to? I failed at finding friends online. I failed at finding friends offline. And trying to do so hurt so much. I don't want to try anymore.
She replied! And she still wants to meet, though she had to postpone the date. I had almost given up hope. I'm so happy right now..
I'm happy for you Ambitious, and wish you the best of luck. Still, I advise caution. Too become so overly invested in another and so reliant on them can lead to a serious low if things fall through. I would just hate for something to happen and for you to take a bigger hit than needed.
Today I learned I'm mediocre. I had a feeling. Not a whole lot of people take me serious. My college friends nickname for me was noon sauce because I want good at anything.
And I know my coworkers talk shut about me. The only people who like me are management because I'm a subseviant bitch.
Today I learned I'm mediocre. I had a feeling. Not a whole lot of people take me serious. My college friends nickname for me was noon sauce because I want good at anything.
And I know my coworkers talk shut about me. The only people who like me are management because I'm a subseviant bitch.
I wish I could permanently erase certain memories. Not anything that happened in my life that ultimately shaped who I am, but like, dumb shit that just makes me upset.
I stupidly watched one of those PSA "shock" ads warning against the dangers of speeding. I won't describe what happened-- just that it involved little kids and horrible imagery. I can never get that ad out of my head, and it decides to pop up in my brain whenever the fuck it wants. Even as I write this, my eyes are stinging.
Then there was a graphic, awful article I happened upon on Reddit. Something about a baby. I think about it now and then, and it just crushes me.
Having kids was the best thing I've ever done. It's also been the hardest on me emotionally. Depression and OCD don't help, either. When I read something sad or see something scary that involves little children, it stays, and hits like a dump truck every time it sneaks back into my thoughts. I wish I could pluck those images out.
For what it's worth, I've been on zoloft for almost a year and a half (most of the time between 100-150mg) and it didn't have any effect on my weight as I've been able to stay fit, and it didn't have much of an effect on libido or 'function'. Maybe a tiny bit at 100mg, somewhat at 150, and fairly significant at 200, but I haven't needed that much either and the zoloft seemed to help me quite a bit at even 50mg.My psychiatrist says that if I continue to stagnate, he'll recommend putting me on Zoloft, which I definitely won't be looking forward to. I have a difficult time as if is having a sex drive and I'm afraid the zoloft will completely take it away. Not looking forward to having to watch my weight more carefully either. Still it's 90 days away, maybe I'll be good enough by then I won't have to be on it.
I could spend the rest of my life on Wellburin and be fine with it. I couldn't say the same for Zoloft though.
For what it's worth, I've been on zoloft for almost a year and a half (most of the time between 100-150mg) and it didn't have any effect on my weight as I've been able to stay fit, and it didn't have much of an effect on libido or 'function'. Maybe a tiny bit at 100mg, somewhat at 150, and fairly significant at 200, but I haven't needed that much either and the zoloft seemed to help me quite a bit at even 50mg.
I've been back down to 50mg for a few months now maintaining where the higher dosage brought me.
Hi everyone! Just delurking to check in. Still using that homeopathic stuff I mentioned earlier. It makes feeling positive things easier than feeling negative ones without overwriting the things I would normally feel or without drastically changing my personality, which are problems I have definitely had when using prescription MH-related medications in the past. Normally I feel like homeopathy is hogwash and even if it is just placebo effect helping me up, oh well.
My dad is doing better, even though he's gotten turned into a medical case study due to having something fairly rare (but well documented and treatable) happen to him.
@melonrabbit - I have a little dysmorphia as well. Looking in mirrors is sickening about 90% of the time. Taking better care of myself really helps, I can easily see and feel it when I drop 10lbs (or gain it, ugh). I hope it helps you as well, patience is the key for seeing things from long-term lifestyle changes and for those changes to become the new "normal". I also have recently realized that everyone around me only cares about how they look and how they are perceived by people around them! As long as I'm not overly slobby and decently covered, literally nobody else cares what I look like because of the natural self-centeredness of humans! Eye-opening experience. I wish I could find the words to explain it better. Also, I find that scars are dead sexy. Especially ones that you didn't get for being an idiot. Hopefully when you're ready to find a romantic partner, they'll agree.
@OCDChewie - have you done any grief counseling or looked for a support group yet? There are online ones, too. The loss of your mother is still recent and may be too raw yet, but it might help some. It has been about 15 years since I lost my grandmother, and 10 since grandfather passed, and I still get "those" dreams, and the gut-punch after I wake up.
@jb - I'm happy for you and jealous of your hot tub benefits. I'm sure both the fucking and the hot tub have been beneficial in pain management? The fact you're considering playing for him is amazing to me, given your previous posts.
Any extroverts here struggle with social anxiety? It puts such a damper on social interactions. I'm probably the flakiest person I've ever known (and my friends call me out on this too) because I'll excitedly make plans, then when the date gets closer my social anxiety will kick in and I'll cancel. But the thing is, I will 100% feel better if I go and interact with friends than if I don't. It'd be nice to see if others struggle with the same thing.
edit: idk if this is the right thread to post it in, since its about depression, sorry if its not.
It is a mental health problems thread, no focus on depression in particular, although I do believe that's the most common one, supposed to affect at least 1/4th the entire population at some point through their lives.Any extroverts here struggle with social anxiety? It puts such a damper on social interactions. I'm probably the flakiest person I've ever known (and my friends call me out on this too) because I'll excitedly make plans, then when the date gets closer my social anxiety will kick in and I'll cancel. But the thing is, I will 100% feel better if I go and interact with friends than if I don't. It'd be nice to see if others struggle with the same thing.
edit: idk if this is the right thread to post it in, since its about depression, sorry if its not.