Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.

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Yeah man sounds like depression. Though probably not clinical (I'm not a doctor). If its bad, go see one.

I am in a tough spot but I keep sane by reading, writing, sketching, music, etc. I'm a big fan of keeping yourself busy. Have you heard of flow theory? Getting in "the zone"? To me that's where life is good. If you can do activities that activate that feeling, life can be great. Everything else is just gravy.
 
mr.rager said:
Hello depression-gaf, I think I may be depressed. I've been following this thread for some time and been hesitant to post here but here goes.

I have a "normal" life, job, gf, friends, an amazing family, things I've read people here wish for, yet despite having that, I feel empty inside. I wake up, go to work, hang out/relax after work, do stuff on weekends but even then there's still that feeling of emptiness inside. I honestly feel like a robot at times, just going through the works day in and day out. I try new things to see if it would help, and it does, for the duration of whatever it is I'm doing then after same feeling of emptiness returns. I don't know why I feel this way, I should be happy but I'm not. Anyone else feel like this?

Kinda feel bad for posting this cause some of you guys are going through things that are far worse than I'm going through so feel free to ignore this post, just needed to vent a little.
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Yup, I feel like that as well.
Back when, I was engaged, a family, in college, friends all around me, majoring in something I was content in, game'd with friends on weekends, cooked, etc. But even then, I was still sad and empty and felt lifeless. That's just what depression does, it sucks the life out of you and makes everything seem pointless and want to run and hightail out.
Just whatever you do, don't let this go untreated or ignored for longer than it should be. If you do, you will lose to this disease and be worse than you were off before.
(I'm now single, feel distant towards my family, no idea what I'm doing for college, weekends it's a struggle to get through, I don't even cook anymore, struggle to get back into hobbies, etc.)

It's worth getting yourself checked out by a doctor and talking to a psychologist/psychiatrist though. You don't have much to lose (sides the fee).

Also this isn't a competition.
If you feel bad, no matter if someone is in a tougher life circumstance or not, that's what matters.
You're in pain and something causes it. That's enough to worry.
Please don't feel there's a need for a competition.
 
mr.rager said:
Hello depression-gaf, I think I may be depressed. I've been following this thread for some time and been hesitant to post here but here goes.

I have a "normal" life, job, gf, friends, an amazing family, things I've read people here wish for, yet despite having that, I feel empty inside. I wake up, go to work, hang out/relax after work, do stuff on weekends but even then there's still that feeling of emptiness inside. I honestly feel like a robot at times, just going through the works day in and day out. I try new things to see if it would help, and it does, for the duration of whatever it is I'm doing then after same feeling of emptiness returns. I don't know why I feel this way, I should be happy but I'm not. Anyone else feel like this?

Kinda feel bad for posting this cause some of you guys are going through things that are far worse than I'm going through so feel free to ignore this post, just needed to vent a little.
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I feel this way too, except I don't really have a normal life :P I don't really have any words of advice or anything, but it's fine to vent/post.

As for your last point, the OP covers it nicely but one of the bigger misconceptions for mental health is using others as a baseline for justifying whether or not the way you feel is acceptable. The thing is it's never a contest to see who has it worst. If anything, it's probably more harmful to have that type of mindset because at the end of the day your feelings are still 100% tried and true, regardless of what everyone else in the world is experiencing. And for that reason alone you deserve at least some attention, even if you don't think you do.
 
Oomikami said:
Not really...I gave ill advice it seems...
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Oh, I read just read the other thread. You advice is fine given your experience. Sharing your experience is the best advice imo, because is always delicate to give advice that will adapt to everyone situation. Very hard. The Perfect advice doens't exist, imo. Don't feel bad for trying your best.
 
Lonely1 said:
Oh, I read just read the other thread. You advice is fine given your experience. Sharing your experience is the best advice imo, because is always delicate to give advice that will adapt to everyone situation. Very hard. The Perfect advice doens't exist, imo. Don't feel bad for trying your best.
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Update from that thread, it seems she'll live...So, that's good.
 
We should do a depression-gaf podcast. It could be a round table discussion where each member breaks down a peer reviewed article or something.

Because I know podcasts were my thing when I was feeling low. And it could be fun
 
Just saw Ice's thread. I'm glad she'll be okay.

I don't know how to shake feeling down. I've been playing WoW mindlessly for the past few days, but the distraction doesn't help. Reading doesn't help either, and I'm afraid that I've completely lost interest in reading my book (Time of Contempt, the second novel in the Witcher saga). I just wake up and log in to WoW and then go to sleep later pretty much. Does wonders for me feeling like a waste of space.
 
Went "doctor shopping" for Valium and Seconal today. So it was my first appointment with this psychiatrist (young lady), and it normally last about an hour first visit to get to know the patient and their history.

So we talked for a while, I was totally honest except about having homicidal thoughts. And she looked over my huge file stack and noted I'd been committed (detained, not voluntary) in 9 local psych units 13 times over the last 8 years and committed to a State hospital (Eastern State Psych) twice for 6 and and 8 month stretches. And noted my most serious diagnoses was psychopathy. She agreed to lower my Lithium down from 300mg twice a day to 200mg once a day. And we'll keep weening down (FYI you don't fuck around with Lithium levels) slowly.

Then I asked for Valium and Seconal and her response was kind of funny. She said there's really no current way of treating your real problems which stem from your psychotic sociopathic mindset either through therapy or medications. So if it will make you more docile I'll write you a script for Valium (she gave me 120 pills, 5 refills), and a script for Seconal I said I needed for sleep as long as I promised I wasn't intending on using them for suicide. So she wrote a script of for Seconal (60 pills, 5 refills). And then we scheduled a appointment for a month to monitor the Lithium.

I like this doctor, a lot! She actually, finally gets it!
 
ArynCrinn said:
I like this doctor, a lot! She actually, finally gets it!
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You will say the exact opposite of this the day you start kicking the valium.

Also to the person who asked: I have been in rehab for the past year, the last 5 months of which I've been living in a halfway house. I do talk about this but it's something that keeps bothering me, as most people just pile cliché upon cliché and tell me I can still reach any goal I set if I really want it. I hate that.
 
super blue atm

I'd like to write about it since it's cathartic but it feels too personal for this forum. I'd be a tumblr bytch but too many people I know IRL see it.
 
Today was a bad day. My TMJ and neck have been torturing me for days (along with the usual debilitating fatigue) and doing research on my condition, I learned a few things. First, it progresses, which was already obvious to me as I've been getting gradually worse for the last couple of years. Second, countless people end up on drugs which are stronger and stronger as it progresses. It's like an hourglass slowly counting down, the end result being oxycodone and still no relief.

I finally just broke down, bawling in the bathroom. One of those cases where too much knowledge is definitely not power. I called my best friend in the city, came over there and cried even more. His wife made me promise that I'd come over more often (within my ability, obviously) and then made me give her a list of groceries she can get me this weekend because I'm too ill to shop myself. I cried even more, felt like a terrible burden.

If you have your physical health, cherish it like nothing else. I didn't until I lost it and I would do anything, ANYTHING to have it back. I don't know how much longer I can keep fighting this but I wanted the people I've gotten close to here to know that I love them and that their friendship has meant everything to me.
 
krrrt said:
You will say the exact opposite of this the day you start kicking the valium.

Also to the person who asked: I have been in rehab for the past year, the last 5 months of which I've been living in a halfway house. I do talk about this but it's something that keeps bothering me, as most people just pile cliché upon cliché and tell me I can still reach any goal I set if I really want it. I hate that.
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No I won't, I've been on Xanax 3mg/Klonopin 2mg/Ativan 1mg for years. And I just started the Valium (really nice muscle relaxation btw) and they'll probably never take me off benzo's with my issues. They haven't for the last 7 years.

But yeah, I know all about benzo withdrawal.
 
ArynCrinn said:
No I won't, I've been on Xanax 3mg/Klonopin 2mg/Ativan 1mg for years. And I just started the Valium (really nice muscle relaxation btw) and they'll probably never take me off benzo's with my issues. They haven't for the last 7 years.

But yeah, I know all about benzo withdrawal.
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Yeah I was a little too quick to comment, as your benzo use is obviously under the supervision of a doctor and your doses seem relatively sensible. It's just that I wouldn't wish the hell of benzo withdrawal on my worst enemy.
 
Today I go up to the university I wished to attend this fall (which starts today...) to hopefully deal with the issue of residency. Being a dependant on my parents, I want to see if anything can be done so that I get normal costs for the spring term, which coincidentally starts one day before they would have owned this residence for one year. Knowing my luck in life this will be a disaster and yet another direction that meets a wall.

Assuming this is the case, does anyone have suggested on what are good, powerful alcoholic drinks? I've never gotten drunk but if even this becomes a hurdle for me, I want to literally numb as much of my normal conscious state of being as much as possible. I find it absolutely infuriating that I simply want a life where I live to help others and every little fucking thing about it has me being kicked in the teeth. I have also tried to apply to a few volunteer places in the area, and I have not heard a word back from them. Even volunteering places have to be stupid human games of cat and mouse. It's fucking abhorrent. I am left in a position where the only thing I want to do is presently unattainable to me, and everything else around me doesn't mean shit. This leaves me in a place of stagnation, for I am going nowhere, and further embraced by ridicule and judgment from others, for I do and have nothing of "worth". If this is how my life is to continue, there will be an endpoint to it in the near future. If doing whatever for money is the human game I must play, I don't want to be here any longer.
 
My inability to sleep, well, at all, is really having an effect on me. I gotta fill out a sleep thing for my doctor (which I gave myself a week to really pay attention to my sleeping patterns before I handed it in) so I hope this will be resolved soon. I can't sleep normal hours, if at all, or when I do I end up sleeping most of the day.
 
Samk said:
We should do a depression-gaf podcast. It could be a round table discussion where each member breaks down a peer reviewed article or something.

Because I know podcasts were my thing when I was feeling low. And it could be fun
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I don't want to spoil my top secret special surprise.
 
Windam said:
I've been playing WoW mindlessly for the past few days, but the distraction doesn't help.
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I've been seeing you post in the WoW thread. It seems in my darkest hours I've turned to WoW, even once again recently. And, like you, it doesn't help. It's a time sink and nothing more. I'm ready to quit WoW and turn all my free time back into exercising and practicing the banjo.

Though it doesn't help that I am in a WoW guild that isn't social and isn't raiding. Two things that really elevate the WoW experience to something a lot better.
 
Why don't you guys reroll together? Like back in the day, my best friend and I would start new characters and go to zones way to high for us. It was way more fun than grinding rep or whatever.
 
Guess who isn't going to university anymore? This guy. My acceptance is gone; my program has met its quota even though I was enrolled for about two months. Welp. Time to go cry and get lectured over how useless and stupid I am.
 
Samk said:
Community college man. Change your majors. Try again. You probably don't like hip hop but:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tHLyPdt-Fi4
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I've no interest in spending money on community college to transfer to university later and spend even more. Guess I'll just take 6 months or a year break.

DJ Lushious said:
Except your program meeting its quota has nothing to do with your intelligence or "usefulness."
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My program hadn't met its quota the whole time I was in it, so either the guy bullshitted me, or they suddenly accepted a lot more people and got rid of the ones they didn't want. I'll apparently be contacted by someone "shortly" with information on my "new" program. Too fucking bad, I'm not doing a "new" program since it isn't what I signed up for. I signed up for biology, go eat a bag of dicks if you think I'll be okay switching to chemistry or physics because you couldn't fill spots for those. (Sorry, I just need to vent. I was also supposed to go out today, but the rain ruined that, so I'm staying home in my misery.)
 
I think it's healthy to be upset in this position. I think it better to be angry and still willing to put yourself out there than to wallow in self pity
 
Samk said:
I am in a tough spot but I keep sane by reading, writing, sketching, music, etc. I'm a big fan of keeping yourself busy. Have you heard of flow theory? Getting in "the zone"? To me that's where life is good. If you can do activities that activate that feeling, life can be great. Everything else is just gravy.
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Haven't heard of this theory but I understand what you mean. There are plenty of times when I feel really good, a lot of good things happening around me and it makes me happy. Right now, I feel real good, not feeling empty or anything like that, although I'm sure that feeling of emptiness will come back again, is this normal? Sorry if it sounds like a dumb question, I'm not very well versed when it comes to depression stuff.

Oomikami said:
Yup, I feel like that as well.
Back when, I was engaged, a family, in college, friends all around me, majoring in something I was content in, game'd with friends on weekends, cooked, etc. But even then, I was still sad and empty and felt lifeless. That's just what depression does, it sucks the life out of you and makes everything seem pointless and want to run and hightail out.
Just whatever you do, don't let this go untreated or ignored for longer than it should be. If you do, you will lose to this disease and be worse than you were off before.
(I'm now single, feel distant towards my family, no idea what I'm doing for college, weekends it's a struggle to get through, I don't even cook anymore, struggle to get back into hobbies, etc.)

It's worth getting yourself checked out by a doctor and talking to a psychologist/psychiatrist though. You don't have much to lose (sides the fee).

Also this isn't a competition.
If you feel bad, no matter if someone is in a tougher life circumstance or not, that's what matters.
You're in pain and something causes it. That's enough to worry.
Please don't feel there's a need for a competition.
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First off, sorry to hear about your current situation. I can only imagine what you're going through right now so please hang in there!

I think I will go visit a doctor and see what they say. I don't think my depression is that bad, i mean, I can get through most of the week fine but then there will be times where it's like I feel like a zombie. I just want that feeling to end or at the very least, something to help alleviate that feeling. I really want this feeling to end because I know sooner or later, I won't be able to do things that I normally do due to having bigger responsibilities and the last thing I want then is to be battling depression.

MooMoo said:
I feel this way too, except I don't really have a normal life :P I don't really have any words of advice or anything, but it's fine to vent/post.

As for your last point, the OP covers it nicely but one of the bigger misconceptions for mental health is using others as a baseline for justifying whether or not the way you feel is acceptable. The thing is it's never a contest to see who has it worst. If anything, it's probably more harmful to have that type of mindset because at the end of the day your feelings are still 100% tried and true, regardless of what everyone else in the world is experiencing. And for that reason alone you deserve at least some attention, even if you don't think you do.
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Ah, I see. Sorry about that. I just feel really bad reading about some of the things people here are going through and I can't help but compare it to my situation. I see what you and Oomikami are saying though, that even if I think my depression is minor compared to others, but it's still depression and it's hurting me. So much for the rule about reading the OP lol.
Please don't ban me mods

Thanks guys, it feels really good to be able to talk about this with people other than people close to you.
 
i never really post in OT and haven't posted in here before, but i kinda need to vent some stuff this morning

i've always had anxiety since i was a teenager, but never had any real panic attacks until a year or so ago, and they hit me hard and basically stuck me alone in my apartment for about a month. it took a long time before i actually built up the courage to tell the people close to me that i needed help, and my parents responded angrily because they felt i had been lying to them since i hadn't told them anything was wrong.
i'm a student at university, and the last two semesters, mostly last spring, i missed a lot of class and had to drop a bunch of stuff, and it pretty much killed any academic career i had going (majoring in chemistry - good grades, involved in the dept, etc). the school's financial aid wanted me to pay back like $5k of my loans immediately, and i lost my internship in the chem department.

so i started getting some help around March this year, and it helped to straighten me out enough that i could get my balance back and try to set myself up to get back to school this semester, which starts today. over the summer i dealt with harassment from financial aid, a couple of disappointed professors who know me pretty well, and the fragmented cycle of support and blame from my parents (who alternated between saying i was either "sick" or "bullshitting them").i handled all this shit pretty well with the help of a good therapist and a xanax prescription, and everything seemed to be back on track. i'm registered for the upcoming semester and got myself a decent part-time job.

but i'm under my dad's med-insurance and everything, and about 10 weeks ago he lost his job and didn't tell me or my sister until last week. so my insurance is gone, and for now i can't afford to see my therapist. my dad doesn't really have any savings, so i might have to move back home to help out with some bills, because i don't make enough to pay rent and pitch in. this just as school is starting back up.

i'm sitting in the library right now, killing time before my 1pm class, and trying to cope with that nauseous, paralyzing feeling of panic. i guess i'm just looking for some comfort; i really dont want to fall back right after i thought i had things under control


Windam said:
Guess who isn't going to university anymore? This guy. My acceptance is gone; my program has met its quota even though I was enrolled for about two months. Welp. Time to go cry and get lectured over how useless and stupid I am.
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i'm sorry to hear about this man, i had to take a semester off a little over a year ago after getting screwed over similarly. if you have to take the semester off, it isn't always so bad, maybe just try to focus on work (or finding work) so you can be productive in the downtime.
if your school isn't working with you, try contacting some advisors or undergrad directors or something inside the biology department, they might be able to help you out from a different angle
 
I just wanted to chime and tell you all you ARE great! Things will get better keep your head up and keep trucking. Shoot me a message if you ever want to talk! Best!
 
mr.rager said:
First off, sorry to hear about your current situation. I can only imagine what you're going through right now so please hang in there!

I think I will go visit a doctor and see what they say. I don't think my depression is that bad, i mean, I can get through most of the week fine but then there will be times where it's like I feel like a zombie. I just want that feeling to end or at the very least, something to help alleviate that feeling. I really want this feeling to end because I know sooner or later, I won't be able to do things that I normally do due to having bigger responsibilities and the last thing I want then is to be battling depression.



Ah, I see. Sorry about that. I just feel really bad reading about some of the things people here are going through and I can't help but compare it to my situation. I see what you and Oomikami are saying though, that even if I think my depression is minor compared to others, but it's still depression and it's hurting me. So much for the rule about reading the OP lol.
Please don't ban me mods

Thanks guys, it feels really good to be able to talk about this with people other than people close to you.
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I'm trying to hang in there, thank you...It hasn't really been the most easiest of things, and I feel I'm quite sure I will slip and won't get back up again. It's just a real bad struggle...

I think your depression definitely has potential to become worse than it already is. (From what you're describing it still sounds pretty worrying...) Even if you think the depression isn't bad, it's at least treatable in this stage rather than in a worse stage. Just don't let the depression fool you in thinking you don't need to go because it's "not as bad". That's what it did for me and I'm pretty sure I can't get out of this now, with everyday being a struggle.

Nah no mod will ban you lol.
A lot of people don't read the OP
Bagels talks too much anyways, I don't blame you if you didn't!
I used to think if I say even the slightest thing out of line (even if that means not reading OP sometimes) that I would be banned and fed to the sharks.
But nah, you're cool.


Dammit....I can't write anything worthwhile...I can't even finish this damn outline for a novel...I can't think of anything...Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a writer....
 
A feel a bit depressed today, even though I know I am not that bad. Just a few symptoms. I guess I just have a low mood. I am tired, and I can feel the low feeling in my chest.

I suppose I need to close up my clam shell today and just recuperate in it.
 
Oomikami said:
I'm trying to hang in there, thank you...It hasn't really been the most easiest of things, and I feel I'm quite sure I will slip and won't get back up again. It's just a real bad struggle...

I think your depression definitely has potential to become worse than it already is. (From what you're describing it still sounds pretty worrying...) Even if you think the depression isn't bad, it's at least treatable in this stage rather than in a worse stage. Just don't let the depression fool you in thinking you don't need to go because it's "not as bad". That's what it did for me and I'm pretty sure I can't get out of this now, with everyday being a struggle.

Nah no mod will ban you lol.
A lot of people don't read the OP
Bagels talks too much anyways, I don't blame you if you didn't!
I used to think if I say even the slightest thing out of line (even if that means not reading OP sometimes) that I would be banned and fed to the sharks.
But nah, you're cool.


Dammit....I can't write anything worthwhile...I can't even finish this damn outline for a novel...I can't think of anything...Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a writer....
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As far as being a writer: just go with it. I can't tell you how many times I've posted something on gaf and been like "whoa, totally overshared and people are going to think I'm nuts." Eventually you sort of get over it and find your voice.

Take critism, just don't take it to heart.
 
Samk said:
As far as being a writer: just go with it. I can't tell you how many times I've posted something on gaf and been like "whoa, totally overshared and people are going to think I'm nuts." Eventually you sort of get over it and find your voice.

Take critism, just don't take it to heart.
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It's not about criticism, it's about just getting something on the paper that I can actually finish.
I never once actually finished an outline for a story or a novel.
And I'm trying to finish one decent idea I have, and I just can't seem to do it...
 
Windam said:
I've no interest in spending money on community college to transfer to university later and spend even more. Guess I'll just take 6 months or a year break.

My program hadn't met its quota the whole time I was in it, so either the guy bullshitted me, or they suddenly accepted a lot more people and got rid of the ones they didn't want. I'll apparently be contacted by someone "shortly" with information on my "new" program. Too fucking bad, I'm not doing a "new" program since it isn't what I signed up for. I signed up for biology, go eat a bag of dicks if you think I'll be okay switching to chemistry or physics because you couldn't fill spots for those. (Sorry, I just need to vent. I was also supposed to go out today, but the rain ruined that, so I'm staying home in my misery.)
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Blah. That's stupid.
By any chance, did you only apply to one university (probably U of T? lol -- that's what I think of when I think of Toronto and students wanting to go into the medical field~)? Do you have any other options? Can you go to UTSC? >_> (Last I went, place was like a souped up highschool~!).

Although I thought the way it worked for the medical program was that after 2/3 years in some possibly related undergrad program (bio, chem, etc.) you then applied to the medical program. Perhaps the courses are full for the semester, but don't let that stop you from picking up other prerequisites if you can? I remember UTSC at least had a trimester schedule so there were courses available in fall, winter, and summer. And then you can switch majors. As long as you have the prerequisites for needed, I thought you can pick whatever major you wanted. (For example, I had a specialist in psych, and then decided to pick an extra major in anthro and then added on a minor in linguistics at the tail end because I saw that I could and just picked up more courses to fill that out. As far as I'm concerned, changing majors didn't even have a deadline except for it having to be before you graduated. lol)

Don't panic. Go through the steps a little at a time and contact the registrar/admissions. Physically go in there and have a seat and talk to them about it. I am sure that will help you figure things out.

But if you want to just take a 6 month break because everything is just overwhelming you already, that is okay too. (Can't they "reserve" you the spot for next semester anyway? I think they used to do that.. ) Just make sure you are doing things during that time so you feel like you have structure and set yourself new deadlines for registering for courses again. You can even grab a part-time job if you want, or if getting paid for stuff is too daunting, then volunteering. It will be a resume boost~

btw everyone, I am not ignoring the rest of you. I just knew I had specific advice/questions for Windam due to our shared heritage of being in Toronto. lol
There is actually a lot going on in this thread that I want to respond to, but it's kind of overwhelming because it will take a good 3-4 hours to write and I don't have the time and energy for it right now.. BUT EVENTUALLY I WILL!! O___O

But I guess that's my kind of vague/general advice for the time being.
Know when you are getting to the point of being burnt out and give yourself space and time to recover. It could be a mini vacation for a day, or relaxing with downtime (some of you will think of it as "wasting" time, but believe me, downtime is very important!).
My own example is that even if I feel like I "need" to respond, I know I am feeling burnt out and will give myself space to just observe and gather up energy again. And not beat myself up about it. (Very important.)

We are all probably mortal humans with flaws and limitations, and we can't be everything for everyone even if we want to be. So even if other people in your life don't understand that, like overly critical parents/family, judgy acquaintances, or even yourself at times, know that I understand it at least! And many people in this thread understand that too. We all need our time and space to recover in order to get the energy and motivation to do what we want to do again. Even if it's not necessarily true that "you can accomplish anything you want/bootstraps", I think it's at least true that "you can get closer to where you want to be", even if that means taking little tiny microscopic steps or going around in circles for a while. Don't discount your own progress, whatever it may be. And don't feel like taking necessary breaks means you lose your progress.
 
Prax said:
.
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I applied to way more than one university. :P I was rejected from U of T St. George for Neuroscience due to my low math mark. UTSC offered me social science, so I refused. Ryerson told me I couldn't take summer school. McMaster refused me for Neuroscience as well since their cut-off at midterms was 89 while I had an 85. York was the only one to reply with a "sure, you can come!" for biomedical science for me, but of course, they've switched their minds now and I'm not going anymore. Who knows what I'll do now. Maybe because all the university kids are leaving Toronto again to go back to school, jobs will open up and somewhere will be desperate enough to hire me. Maybe.
 
Oomikami said:
Bagels talks too much anyways, I don't blame you if you didn't!
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I'm hurt, oomi. My words are like gifts, and with me, every post is like Christmas and your birthday and every other holiday, plus a giant dump truck full of presents. Each word is a beautiful snowflake, and it's always a avalanche. I can keep coming up with metaphors, but the key point is that I say some amazing shit. That crap is intellectual as balls.

That really blows, Windam. My gut reaction is to tell you to go major in chemistry. It's a better major all around, if you ask me. Biology is always going to be a huge department and the competition for scholarships, or just to get noticed, involves way more people. I was going to study biology, but my physician uncle told me, "every pre-med studies biology! go study chemistry!" and I thought, "well, okay." Chemistry and physics both have reputations for being much harder, which works in your favor.

If your heart is set on biology, though, then take this time to really get ready. I kind of worried about you being burned out after your math class. You want to be fresh going into college. Get lecture notes online, grab the course text(s), grab some review books. Any prep work you can do will pay off in a huge way. If you do want to get noticed early on as a dedicated, serious student, show up better prepared than anyone else.

You know I really like your writing, oomi. I think we may have the same issue. I want to write longer form stuff, but that's so intimidating that I'm too scared to even start. It really helped me to have a journal to just jot stuff down in. Lately, I've gone a step further and put my sketchbook in front of my computer. I'm trying to draw more, but I find that I also write more short snippets of things - song lyrics, ideas, quotes, jokes. It's a nice way to keep writing WHICH YOU WOULDN'T THINK WOULD BE A PROBLEM WHAT WITH MY WRITING TOO DAMN MUCH, YOU JERK. :P

WilsonGT as clam continues to inspire! I hope you feel better, buddy!

jb1234 - you had better be playing Ys Seven and feeling better!

Someone please remind me never to post in OT mental health threads.

Shaffield! - I didn't see you pop into chat! Sorry! We were discussing whether or not ClassyPenguin's truth-bombs on GAF were going to get him banned. Again. :P

Foffy - You can't let it all grind you down like that. There's a lot of bullshit to put up with, sure, but I think you're destined for bigger and better things. You'll be in a position to reject the bullshit games and not make others go through them, so the next Foffy to come along won't have to.

Added FillerB to the contacts in the OP. Feel free to message him about how great pancakes are for breakfast!

words words words
 
Windam said:
I applied to way more than one university. :P I was rejected from U of T St. George for Neuroscience due to my low math mark. UTSC offered me social science, so I refused. Ryerson told me I couldn't take summer school. McMaster refused me for Neuroscience as well since their cut-off at midterms was 89 while I had an 85. York was the only one to reply with a "sure, you can come!" for biomedical science for me, but of course, they've switched their minds now and I'm not going anymore. Who knows what I'll do now. Maybe because all the university kids are leaving Toronto again to go back to school, jobs will open up and somewhere will be desperate enough to hire me. Maybe.
Click to expand...
Wow. Seems like those schools really made it crazy difficult to get in.
Wait.. UofT didn't accept your remedial mark for math?
Still, see if you can still squeeze in bio at York during the next semesters while picking up elective prereqs (a little psych here, philosophy there..) and then switch majors. And ask if that's possible.

I could still try to get you into Loblaws? XD
Make that sweet sweet cashier money~!
And don't worry about memorizing the produce codes (e.g. bananas = 4011, red del. apples = 4016). I totally typed most of them up and there are cheat sheets at the desks and screwing up a little is okay. ;D
Or maybe stock boy? I am sure there are other positions too. EVEN NIGHT SHIFT. You wanna work the as part of renovation team on nightshift??? hahah I think half the crew quit already. Insomnia and tedium and physical labour just not for them I guess.. >__>
 
Oomikami said:
It's not about criticism, it's about just getting something on the paper that I can actually finish.
I never once actually finished an outline for a story or a novel.
And I'm trying to finish one decent idea I have, and I just can't seem to do it...
Click to expand...

On Writing by Stephen King has some really helpful tips.
 
Bagels said:
I'm hurt, oomi. My words are like gifts, and with me, every post is like Christmas and your birthday and every other holiday, plus a giant dump truck full of presents. Each word is a beautiful snowflake, and it's always a avalanche. I can keep coming up with metaphors, but the key point is that I say some amazing shit. That crap is intellectual as balls.

That really blows, Windam. My gut reaction is to tell you to go major in chemistry. It's a better major all around, if you ask me. Biology is always going to be a huge department and the competition for scholarships, or just to get noticed, involves way more people. I was going to study biology, but my physician uncle told me, "every pre-med studies biology! go study chemistry!" and I thought, "well, okay." Chemistry and physics both have reputations for being much harder, which works in your favor.

If your heart is set on biology, though, then take this time to really get ready. I kind of worried about you being burned out after your math class. You want to be fresh going into college. Get lecture notes online, grab the course text(s), grab some review books. Any prep work you can do will pay off in a huge way. If you do want to get noticed early on as a dedicated, serious student, show up better prepared than anyone else.

You know I really like your writing, oomi. I think we may have the same issue. I want to write longer form stuff, but that's so intimidating that I'm too scared to even start. It really helped me to have a journal to just jot stuff down in. Lately, I've gone a step further and put my sketchbook in front of my computer. I'm trying to draw more, but I find that I also write more short snippets of things - song lyrics, ideas, quotes, jokes. It's a nice way to keep writing WHICH YOU WOULDN'T THINK WOULD BE A PROBLEM WHAT WITH MY WRITING TOO DAMN MUCH, YOU JERK. :P

WilsonGT as clam continues to inspire! I hope you feel better, buddy!

jb1234 - you had better be playing Ys Seven and feeling better!

Someone please remind me never to post in OT mental health threads.

Shaffield! - I didn't see you pop into chat! Sorry! We were discussing whether or not ClassyPenguin's truth-bombs on GAF were going to get him banned. Again. :P

Foffy - You can't let it all grind you down like that. There's a lot of bullshit to put up with, sure, but I think you're destined for bigger and better things. You'll be in a position to reject the bullshit games and not make others go through them, so the next Foffy to come along won't have to.

Added FillerB to the contacts in the OP. Feel free to message him about how great pancakes are for breakfast!

words words words
Click to expand...
Bagels seems to be on happy meds. Look how chatty he is! Everyone go PM him and talk to him he needs attention.

I am sorry Oomi, Seit, and everyone else that I have no creativity/motivation advice as I am always stuck on that cycle of never getting things done. XD
But maybe the point is to be OKAY with being in that cycle and prep yourself to go through the motions. I know I have lull periods and then momentum builds somehow (maybe half guilt) and BAM! LOTS OF ART AND IDEAS AND I DON'T GOTTA SLEEP CUZ ARTTT.. and then back to a lull. Sure, I'd like to have a steady pace, but you work with what you've got and try to go from there.

And like.. Just do it, man.
Though if I were writing a novel, I'd probably just end up only writing scenes I liked/looked forward to, and then try to cobble the middle together somehow. Maybe even not write the middle parts and assume the reader can make the connections themselves lol.
I am not a good writer btw so don't listen to me. >_>

I am actually supposed to be asleep right now. Whoops.
 
ClassyPenguin said:
On Writing by Stephen King has some really helpful tips.
Click to expand...

So, so so much this. It is the first book I recommend to people who are interested in writing. If you think the man is hack novelist, still get it. Even critics of his work push On Writing as one of the best books about the craft out there.

And guys, apparently I am allowed to say I am officially a writer because I've been paid for it, so, as a writer...

It's not easy. It sucks. I constantly hate what I put on paper, I stop and start and nothing ever flows the way it should. I haven't written anything remotely coherent in years. I hoping that now that all my kids are starting school, I won't have any excuses not to just sit down and freakin' write. Cause that's what it takes, and I just don't do it. Write. Write as much as you can, and don't stop. If you think it sucks, keep writing. You can go back and fix stuff later. Just get words on paper, and build it from there.

Prax said:
And like.. Just do it, man.
Though if I were writing a novel, I'd probably just end up only writing scenes I liked/looked forward to, and then try to cobble the middle together somehow. Maybe even not write the middle parts and assume the reader can make the connections themselves lol.
I am not a good writer btw so don't listen to me. >_>
Click to expand...

This is actually something that has been suggested to me so many times. By professionals. Stuck? Skip to the parts that you are excited to write. Fill in the backlog later. So no, it's not stupid advice.

I just can't do it. Stuff has to flow linearly for me, so if I am stuck, I am stuck FOREVER. I need to work on that. >.<
 
Prax said:
Bagels seems to be on happy meds. Look how chatty he is! Everyone go PM him and talk to him he needs attention.
Click to expand...

Lord knows I love attention.

I'm not on happy meds, I'm just being chatty for normal reasons! Can a man not be helpful and engaging (and handsome) without being teased, plz?
 
Windam said:
I applied to way more than one university. :P I was rejected from U of T St. George for Neuroscience due to my low math mark. UTSC offered me social science, so I refused. Ryerson told me I couldn't take summer school. McMaster refused me for Neuroscience as well since their cut-off at midterms was 89 while I had an 85. York was the only one to reply with a "sure, you can come!" for biomedical science for me, but of course, they've switched their minds now and I'm not going anymore. Who knows what I'll do now. Maybe because all the university kids are leaving Toronto again to go back to school, jobs will open up and somewhere will be desperate enough to hire me. Maybe.
Click to expand...

Maybe!

That sucks to hear that they're not accepting summer school marks. From how I see it, you have a few options:

a) Go to University anyway, transfer programs once you're already at university (shouldn't be a big deal at all to switch e.g. after 1st year, since most science programs have the exact same courses as prerequisites anyway)

b) Go to community college, then transfer (I did that, a lot of other people do that, that's actually the CHEAPER alternative, since college is cheaper. And you're not wasting any time either, since universities accept all transfer credit most of the time)

c) Work in the fall, apply for Spring admission (if it exists) or for next fall. Take a year off to find a decent job, get to know some coworkers, become friends with them, and save up a bit of money to avoid student loans for as long as possible. Maybe do a bit of travelling.

Most definitely sucks to hear though :(
 
Fiction said:
So, so so much this. It is the first book I recommend to people who are interested in writing. If you think the man is hack novelist, still get it. Even critics of his work push On Writing as one of the best books about the craft out there.

And guys, apparently I am allowed to say I am officially a writer because I've been paid for it, so, as a writer...

It's not easy. It sucks. I constantly hate what I put on paper, I stop and start and nothing ever flows the way it should. I haven't written anything remotely coherent in years. I hoping that now that all my kids are starting school, I won't have any excuses not to just sit down and freakin' write. Cause that's what it takes, and I just don't do it. Write. Write as much as you can, and don't stop. If you think it sucks, keep writing. You can go back and fix stuff later. Just get words on paper, and build it from there.



This is actually something that has been suggested to me so many times. By professionals. Stuck? Skip to the parts that you are excited to write. Fill in the backlog later. So no, it's not stupid advice.

I just can't do it. Stuff has to flow linearly for me, so if I am stuck, I am stuck FOREVER. I need to work on that. >.<
Click to expand...
You know what the solution is then!
Write in filler text for the bridge! xD In point form.
Character goes here. Get mad at NPC, something about swords and legend of the sword for later
Click to expand...
then juicy bits!
Spike leaned over the rusty railing. It was cold and still a bit moist from the evening's light rain. The smell of the damp street was familiar, comfortable. He gripped onto the rail reflexively, almost as if playing a tune on it, feeling the grain of the rust as he waited for her to appear and make a 'surprise' drop on her, as was his signature move.
"Spike. Over here." Her eyebrows raised to question him, but her face looked blank.. unamused.
He spun around, only putting in the least amount of effort possible to not roll his eyes and upturned his hands quickly in annoyance.
"I wanted.. for you to come in that direction," his lips puckered in disappointment, "but how often is it that you give me what I want.."
He rubbed the feeling of rust from his hands as he took a step toward her.

INSERT SOMETHING ABOUT BOATS AND THE SEA AND EROTIC SCENE

TO BE CONTINUED I AM GOOD WRITER
Click to expand...

You have been paid, so you are pro now! GO FORTH!

Bagels said:
Lord knows I love attention.

I'm not on happy meds, I'm just being chatty for normal reasons! Can a man not be helpful and engaging (and handsome) without being teased, plz?
Click to expand...
Of course not. There are rules in this universe Bagels! Despite what you think, you are no god and you (specifically) cannot change them! It's called quantum entanglement. If you are handsome, you are also teased.
I think that's what I learned in the magic science thread.
 
@Windam:
I don't know how your college is like, but I know at mine all the life sciences start off exactly the same as far as course requisites are; the life sciences majors here don't diverge until the mid/upper level courses. If that happens to be the case for you why not just take a different major like chemistry and then change majors the following semester? You wouldn't be losing any time doing so. Similarly there's nothing wrong with starting at a community college just to get those general ed courses out of the way. If you want to be a doctor one day (or maybe I'm confusing you with someone else) there's more than one way to do it; being a biomedical science undergrad isn't the only way to accomplish that goal.

Everyone else's advice is solid. If you do take that time off just make sure you're using it wisely. Sorry to hear that things didn't turn out so well for you though.
 
Prax said:
You know what the solution is then!
Write in filler text for the bridge! xD In point form.
then juicy bits!


You have been paid, so you are pro now! GO FORTH!
Click to expand...

Haha I have actually done that. Taking bits from a basic outline and just sticking them in places where I am stuck.\

"Backstory and shit. IDK, like stuff on the news. And more vampire torches, yeah, that's good."

Also, I love that you used Spike in this :p
 
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