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Lady Jane
Banned
My brother in law is on the tinder game. He matched with a bartender that he always had a crush on. He asked for my help so I did the messaging. 6 messages. Got him a date for tonight and her number.
6 fucking messages. I am the bomb. PLUS I salvaged plans he had with another girl for tonight as well and that's now Saturday.
You boys are lucky I'm not bi because I would be stealing all your girls
6 fucking messages. I am the bomb. PLUS I salvaged plans he had with another girl for tonight as well and that's now Saturday.
You boys are lucky I'm not bi because I would be stealing all your girls
OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
Do you have a waterpik? Those work great.
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
I do and I hated it.
OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
Oh yeah? That's too bad. I hate flossing but I use the pick pretty regularly.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Mine are the broken ones that need rescuing.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
I guess I know who to call if I ever get a divorce
plushyp
Member
Yeah, babe. Proud of you.
You should start a service tbh
ThatGamingDude
I am a virgin
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
I figure after 18 years I’m cool with vanilla
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Always down.
(to fuck)
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Or maybe: Neogaf's most sexually active asexual
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Always getting laid (by accident)
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
There are too many potential options. Choice paralysis.
Surf N Turf
Your privates are my business
I fuck on the first date
$30 Italian Blowie
Mia Khalifa historian
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Easy for you to say, fantastic piscis.
OK...?
Peggies
Gold Member
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Probably better than eating a PB & Tuna Sammy. Was that how you got yours? Or is there another tuna incident I'm not privy to?
I vote for 'Really handy'
OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
I vote preggies
Peggies
Gold Member
Peggies
Gold Member
teezzy
Banned
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
What do you call a person who keeps all the seafood for themselves?
teezzy
Banned
Shellfish
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
No a jerk
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
Advantages of a keto diet. No fillings for the last 5 years. Though my new dentist thought I was joking when I filled the health form about my conditions.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
wife’s female cousin: one of my mechanics was having an affair with my sales girl and that ended in flames
me: well I bet that was pretty convenient (wife) loves it when I get the axle grease out
Two sets of eyes rolled out of their heads this day…I remain triumphant
me: well I bet that was pretty convenient (wife) loves it when I get the axle grease out
Two sets of eyes rolled out of their heads this day…I remain triumphant
Ionian
Member
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
I'm off to a wedding this evening. Thank you for all the entertainment today <3
MudoSkills
Volcano High Alumnus (Cum Laude)
Request another name change.
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
It's never too early to start Christmas shopping.
bronk
Banned
Wack......i dont use that word very much anymore. Need to correct that. Solid word.
bronk
Banned
Just suck em off
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Missed opportunity right there.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Goes great with the axle greaseIt's never too early to start Christmas shopping.
OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
Wtf ... They are showing Cornhole on ESPN. This is considered a sport now?
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
That’s how I’ve always viewed getting it in the hole
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Is it part of the Ocho thing they do? I think it's becoming much more popular due to obesity being on the rise. Personally, I'd like to get into curling. I should really try to find a league or maybe start one.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
Curling is actually really fun, took a class in college.
Anyway my 18 month old thinks the way to play a toy recorder is to put in backwards into the mouth then start screaming. Think I can RMA?
Last edited by a moderator:
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
I don't like to shit talk my wife. I love her to death. This whole greenhouse project was a joint agreement between us. My only caveat is that I did not want to do any research ahead of time and that she would do that. I agreed to be the manual labor.
Well, we've been pouring the concrete pad for the foundation this morning. First batch goes down and it covers a few feet. I look at her and ask how many bags was that? 2. How many bags do you have? 11. We need like 5 times that amount and she bought the quick curing kind.
So now she is running to the nearest home improvement store to pick up 40-some more bags.
Anyway, as I was saying, I love my wife.
Well, we've been pouring the concrete pad for the foundation this morning. First batch goes down and it covers a few feet. I look at her and ask how many bags was that? 2. How many bags do you have? 11. We need like 5 times that amount and she bought the quick curing kind.
So now she is running to the nearest home improvement store to pick up 40-some more bags.
Anyway, as I was saying, I love my wife.
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Just to be clear, the work she's done on this whole thing has been exceptionally well done. It's nitpicking one misstep out of like 100 well executed ones.
If this was me doing it, it would have been 1000 times worse.
Also, I'm fairly certain the only reason it's bugging me is because I got little sleep last night due the wedding yesterday. I don't function well without sleep.
OmegaSupreme
advanced basic bitch
I think we've gone too far
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