Mom goes off on store clerk who made racist comment to her kids

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BkzUzi said:
What the kids are wearing are also "normal clothes."
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"Normal"'and "acceptable" are not the same. The kids did nothing wrong. The clothes are perfectly fine and acceptable. BUT, what we don't know is if the clothes are typical or "normal" for the area/region. For all we know, this is the first time the clerk is seeing these types of garbs.
 
Stinkles said:
And she was right to be furious but I'm not sure how good the lesson to her kids is with the cursing and screaming.

She's even cursing at the guy on the phone.

Yell. Make a scene. Or curse out of earshot of the kids. But cursing in front of your kids is counterproductive.
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nah, I would have cussed her the fuck out too. the lesson to her kids is that this scenario is much different than all the other ones in which cursing would be frowned upon. the fact that she went off like that in front of her kids should tell them that this was serious.
 
"So let me tell you about Sandra's racist ass:
My 3 beautiful black children dressed in their cultural garment came into the store to spend money in this ragedy motherfucker"

Holy shit this is gold. You done fucked up Sandra.

"We live in this neighbourhood. We spend money in this neighbourhood. And as long as y'all in this neighbourhood, you will respect the money that makes sure you're ass got a cheque."
This lady is spitting fire.
 
Rabbi_Vole said:
"Normal"'and "acceptable" are not the same. The kids did nothing wrong. The clothes are perfectly fine and acceptable. BUT, what we don't know is if the clothes are typical or "normal" for the area/region. For all we know, this is the first time the clerk is seeing these types of garbs.
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That doesn't really matter. At the very least, it's super rude to make fun of someone else's clothes.
 
FadedRevolution said:
A mom defends her children but she is wrong because she didn't do it the way you want her to do it.
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To be fair the person apologized and she just kept on ranting.

Yeah, the clerk is a fucking asshole for saying that and she was right to go back in but when you specifically go in for an apology and then GET the apology go on about your life there's no need to continue making a scene.
 
Rabbi_Vole said:
"Normal"'and "acceptable" are not the same. The kids did nothing wrong. The clothes are perfectly fine and acceptable. BUT, what we don't know is if the clothes are typical or "normal" for the area/region. For all we know, this is the first time the clerk is seeing these types of garbs.
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Bingo. There is nothing wrong with the clothes, nor with wearing them. However, they are not "normal" clothes in the US. In probably 99% of the country, most folks would have no clue what to make of those traditional garbs, and it has nothing to do with racism or being an asshole or any other such thing.

Aselith said:
That doesn't really matter. At the very least, it's super rude to make fun of someone else's clothes.
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You're assuming it was intended as an insult. I would have taken it as just ignorance.
 
Stinkles said:
And she was right to be furious but I'm not sure how good the lesson to her kids is with the cursing and screaming.

She's even cursing at the guy on the phone.

Yell. Make a scene. Or curse out of earshot of the kids. But cursing in front of your kids is counterproductive.
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This. IMO the kids mom isn't setting a good example.
 
It's easy to say "man, if I was there I would have handled it like this", but racism makes people feel a type of way. Maybe the mom has experienced it herself, maybe she doesn't want that shit in her kids' lives considering all the horrible problems happening today, maybe it's both.

In retrospect, maybe she could have said less curse words, but you can remedy that by having a conversation with your children and being honest with them.

Like, that shit hurts you to the core, and to see your kids experience it is something I hope I never see.
 
SDCowboy said:
Yes, I do think he handled it wrong. Part of being an adult is acting like one. This situation, from what I could see in the video, in no way called for yelling and swearing right out of the gate. Freaking out on someone usually teaches them absolutely nothing.
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I bet Sandra won't do that shit again.
 
I don't think that would be considered a 'racist' comment. Lady just asked a question, may have been a really stupid question, but the lady went in there recording it like she was trying to make a viral video......
 
Wow didn't take the I agree but...but...but she did it wrong brigade to mmake their presence known in here.
 
SDCowboy said:
Bingo. There is nothing wrong with the clothes, nor with wearing them. However, they are not "normal" clothes in the US. In probably 99% of the country, most folks would have no clue what to make of those traditional garbs, and it has nothing to do with racism or being an asshole or any other such thing.



You're assuming it was intended as an insult. I would have taken it as just ignorance.
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You're assuming that you can't be racist if you're just ignorant. That is false. Racism is born of ignorance. You can be racist and not intend to be mean. This is racism at its core, Ignorance of another culture.
 
Yado said:
I bet Sandra won't do that shit again.
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Won't do what again? Possibly being ignorant on a subject when trying to make conversation? People are making it out like some horrific racist event happened here when it was likely little more than a clerk making as an ignorant, albeit stupid, remark when trying to make conversation with the kids. I'm sure her kids will pull through this situation just fine. Good grief.
 
AzureRonin said:
You're assuming that you can't be racist if you're just ignorant. That is false. Racism is born of ignorance. You can be racist and not intend to be mean. This is racism at its core, Ignorance of another culture.
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That's fine and true. Thing is, nothing about the quote was inherently racist. I don't think it should just be assumed the remark was made with racist intent. And freaking out on a clerk right out of the gate solves absolutely nothing.
 
SDCowboy said:
Won't do what again? Possibly being ignorant on a subject when trying to make conversation? People are making it out like some horrific racist event happened here when it was likely little more than a clerk making as an ignorant, albeit stupid, remark when trying to make conversation with the kids. I'm sure her kids will pull through this situation just fine. Good grief.
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Who made it out to be a horrific event? I'm sure the clerk will live too.
 
SDCowboy said:
That's fine and true. Thing is, nothing about the quote was inherently racist. I don't think it should just be assumed the remark was made with racist intent. And freaking out on a clerk right out of the gate solves absolutely nothing.
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You don't need intent to be racist.
 
SDCowboy said:
That's fine and true. Thing is, nothing about the quote was inherently racist. I don't think it should just be assumed the remark was made with racist intent. And freaking out on a clerk right out of the gate solves absolutely nothing.
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I rarely hear "are you dressed up for Halloween" for anything but being snide. In fact, most of the time I hear it, the implication is that the person is dressed funny or not normal.

Like, if a kid comes in with a batman costume, then you can say something like "Halloween is early this year!", but what they are wearing doesn't really invoke the same line of thinking.

And once again, if that lady was being shitty and the offended felt it was racist, it's very difficult to stay calm. Easy to say that in hindsight or outside, but I've had some shit said to me that may have went overboard, but considering what was said and how it got me at the core, it's hard to keep those feels down once they are up.

The onus shouldn't be on the mom to educate the clerk, anyway.
 
SDCowboy said:
Also true, but again, the quote is not inherently racist. That is just being assumed by some.
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actually the quote is inherently racist because the woman is ignorant of a culture and is making assumptions based on that ignorance... i.e. the definition of racism.
 
Nipo said:
Maybe I'm just used to people not understanding my customs. The idea if screaming at someone for not knowing about them and asking, possibly offensive, questions, would never enter my mind.
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I guess it depends on the type of person you are and your life experiences, but I don't fault her for getting angry. I've flipped my shit on people for doing dumb things because of the color of my skin. I've yelled at a store clerk for following me around, and when I confronted them, they openly admitted that they thought "I didn't have the money". I flipped my shit.

Minimum wage worker or not doesn't absolve you of treating other humans with respect, you know?
 
AzureRonin said:
actually the quote is inherently racist because the woman is ignorant of a culture and is making assumptions based on that ignorance... i.e. the definition of racism.
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Look, whether you find it racist, not racist, intentional or otherwise, it still does't change that the way it was handled was a bit over the top. Coming out of the gates swearing and screaming at an employee, or anyone for that matter, solves absolutely nothing, nor does it get any point across. I can understand if she took it as insulting, but calmer heads always prevail, and this could have been used as a real opportunity to teach someone about their culture.

besada said:
Clerks shouldn't be commenting about customer's clothing, full stop.
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lol what? Have you ever worked retail before? The cashiers talk to customers about their clothes all the time. In this case, most likely an unintentionally stupid comment was made.
 
Yado said:
I'm sure the clerk will live too.
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Well let's hope. This trend of uploading videos on the internet to ruin lives has gotten out of hand. That act is a slippery slope. Sometimes mob rule can lead to someone getting killed.

Not saying that it never warrants doing that. Obviously, in cases of police brutality it is a crucial tool in exposing corruption.
 
AzureRonin said:
actually the quote is inherently racist because the woman is ignorant of a culture and is making assumptions based on that ignorance... i.e. the definition of racism.
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TIL that if you are in Japan and they hand you their card with a bow and you think "man they are outdated" that you are the literal definition of racism. What?


Clerk should have not commented whatsoever, that is simply out of line and unprofessional. The women should have went straight through the proper channels and complain to the manager. Going into a rage mode and throwing a fit doesn't reflect positively on you or your complain and will probably work against you.

edit:
Basically this:
besada said:
Clerks shouldn't be commenting about customer's clothing, full stop.
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She could have asked them nicely about what they were wearing. But she instantly went to Halloween in the beginning of sept. Come on
 
SDCowboy said:
Look, whether you find it racist, not racist, intentional or otherwise, it still does't change that the way it was handled was a bit over the top. Coming out of the gates swearing and screaming at an employee, or anyone for that matter, solves absolutely nothing, nor does it get any point across. I can understand if she took it as insulting, but calmer heads always prevail, and this could have been used as a real opportunity to teach someone about their culture.
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Once again, it's easy to say that shit, but have you ever had some shit like that happen to you? Racism, especially if one has dealt with it in loads throughout their life, is not pretty, and who knows how bad her and her family has had it.

Why should she teach that woman about her culture anyway? Most people aren't going to give a shit, and the onus should never be on the other person to teach someone else. That puts the weight of "change" in the court of the oppressed instead of the oppressors. I'm not saying the clerk is actively doing that, it could have just been a snide comment devoid of racial tones in her mind, but it came out in a bad way and she paid for it.
 
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The clerk made an ignorant comment, but not one that came from malice. I don't have kids and therefore can't weigh in on how I'd feel if my kids were asked that question. But I am Nigerian and I have worn traditional garb several times through my life. If I was asked honestly if the outfit was for trick or treating I'd take the opportunity to tell the person that that while the outfit may seem unusual to her, it's an important piece of clothing to my culture. Assuming they aren't a piece of shit, they'd get it and know what it is the next time they saw someone wearing something similar.

But again, I'm not a parent. There isn't only one right way to handle a situation. I'm just not sure that I can necessarily relate to how the lady in the video handled it.
 
I support the mother.
Usually if someone is wearing something out of the norm, I typically show appreciation in it with a small comment like, "I like your outfit". I wouldn't be informed enough about African culture, nor would I ever say to someone 'Are you going trick or treating'.
 
TheSpoiler said:
Once again, it's easy to say that shit, but have you ever had some shit like that happen to you? Racism, especially if one has dealt with it in loads throughout their life, is not pretty, and who knows how bad her and her family has had it.

Why should she teach that woman about her culture anyway? Most people aren't going to give a shit, and the onus should never be on the other person to teach someone else. That puts the weight of "change" in the court of the oppressed instead of the oppressors. I'm not saying the clerk is actively doing that, it could have just been a snide comment devoid of racial tones in her mind, but it came out in a bad way and she paid for it.
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Don't like this trend of people having to teach others to treat them with basic respect.
 
Yado said:
Lmao that was hilarious. Sandra was not ready.
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"Let me tell you about Sandra's RACIST ass..."

LOL yes mom.

Asking if those children were going trick or treating in fucking September. She wanted to sound pitiful when mom got up in that ass, but she knew what the fuck she was doing...
 
Brianimaniac said:
I don't know if you can automatically attribute this one to racism. I get that there's so much racism out there that it's hard to not see it that way, and it may be true in this case too, but I just ask myself "is it plausible that this could have happened to a white person?" And I think that yes, the same thing could have happened if a Scottish woman walked in with three sons wearing kilts and all that other crap that goes with them.
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No one would ask Scottish kids in kilts if they were treat or treating in September. Come on.
 
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Without seeing or hearing the original comment, it's impossible to say whether it was an intentionally racist comment. I understand and respect the mother's perspective, but I think it's entirely plausible it was an off-the-cuff remark that was said out of ignorance, not malice.
 
Brianimaniac said:
I don't know if you can automatically attribute this one to racism. I get that there's so much racism out there that it's hard to not see it that way, and it may be true in this case too, but I just ask myself "is it plausible that this could have happened to a white person?" And I think that yes, the same thing could have happened if a Scottish woman walked in with three sons wearing kilts and all that other crap that goes with them.
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Rabbi_Vole said:
"Normal"'and "acceptable" are not the same. The kids did nothing wrong. The clothes are perfectly fine and acceptable. BUT, what we don't know is if the clothes are typical or "normal" for the area/region. For all we know, this is the first time the clerk is seeing these types of garbs.
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In what world are negroes wearing traditional African garnets not normal or acceptable? It's common or at least definitely common enough to avoid a racist, "oh wow look at them, they are different than me" remark.

I also refuse to believe non blacks can be that obtuse. They are obsessed with African-American culture to the point where there is no way she he/she isn't familiar with the way we dress.


SDCowboy said:
Bingo. There is nothing wrong with the clothes, nor with wearing them. However, they are not "normal" clothes in the US. In probably 99% of the country, most folks would have no clue what to make of those traditional garbs, and it has nothing to do with racism or being an asshole or any other such thing.



You're assuming it was intended as an insult. I would have taken it as just ignorance.
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Garnets are a semi normal part of African-American culture, what the hell are you talking about?

Have you looked into any African-American fashion or art at all? White have been playing monkey see, monkey do with negroes for centuries, they know how we dress.

A lot of African-Americans avoid them though because whites try their hardest to take their culture away form them and when they do, chastise them for not being like them. She was disrespectful aka racist towards these children and their culture.

Nipo said:
Good lesson. If someone making minimum wage is mean to you scream at them and call their manager.
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I don't give a fuck about racist whites and I'm sure she doesn't either.
 
TheSpoiler said:
Why should she teach that woman about her culture anyway?
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Maybe because the issue here is likely ignorance in the first place. If someone is going to be that upset that someone doesn't know their culture, then maybe actually explain it to them. Crazy I know...
 
Tom Nook Sawyer said:
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Without seeing or hearing the original comment, it's impossible to say whether it was an intentionally racist comment. I understand and respect the mother's perspective, but I think it's entirely plausible it was an off-the-cuff remark that was said out of ignorance, not malice.
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That wouldn't change the impact it had on the mom and the kids.
 
besada said:
Clerks shouldn't be commenting about customer's clothing, full stop.
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This must be different in different parts of the country/world, because where I'm from, comments are normal. If I have a beard grown out at the time, someone will comment on that, if I'm with someone with dyed hair, they'll say something, if I have a sports shirt, they'll bust my balls about the team, if I buy vegetarian food, they'll ask questions about what I eat, etc. If I make a few stops in a day, I'm guaranteed to get a comment somewhere. That's just how things are here, and it's not thought of as adversarial or unprofessional in any way.
 
SDCowboy said:
Maybe because the issue here is likely ignorance in the first place. If someone is going to be that upset that someone doesn't know their culture, then maybe actually explain it to them. Crazy I know...
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Dah hell, so go around being a professor or suck it up and accept abuse?
 
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