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[n00bsauce87]

A lot of comments here remind me of all the "patriots" of America saying Colin could have found a more appropriate way of protesting, lol.

Because no cussing would turn the racist into an upstanding citizen.

If you truly believe this, you are naive at best.

If I was her kid, I'd be so proud of my mom.

The racist lady still didn't apologize. That is what "please don't cuss in front of your kids" crowd should be worried about.

 

[echoshifting]

I see we've devolved from "that mom wasn't being polite enough" to "how dare she use the R-word" and straight-up whataboutism.

I hope that mom is reading this so she knows how to properly react the next time someone says some r***** bullshit to her kids

 

[Henkka]

The difference in punishment is not in dispute. But when it comes to racism, what tends to be in dispute is whether or not it even took place based on intent. It's the same as saying "I didn't break you leg because I didn't mean to" even when it's obvious the bone is visible.

Okay, I think I get it now... Guess it depends on how you define the word "racism". To me, "accidental racism" sounds like an oxymoron, unless it's like a subconscious thing where someone harbors biases unknowingly. To determine if it was subconscious racism, we'd have to know if she would have made the "trick or treating" comment to white kids dressed like this

But that's impossible to know, so... I'm agnostic on this. At least know she knows that it's a traditional dress.

 

[Nepenthe]

Okay, I think I get it now... Guess it depends on how you define the word "racism". To me, "accidental racism" sounds like an oxymoron, unless it's like a subconscious thing where someone harbors biases unknowingly. To determine if it was subconscious racism, we'd have to know if she would have made the "trick or treating" comment to white kids dressed like this

But that's impossible to know, so... I'm agnostic on this. At least know she knows that it's a traditional dress.

Unconscious biases, hidden prejudices, ignorance, short-sightedness, myopia, gut reactions- all of these things aren't really all that intentional, but they nonetheless contribute to the overwhelming racial inequality in America we have today.

I mean, statistics don't lie. We have enough proof that racism is basically hardwired into the way America is set up and continues to run. So, you either have the choice to believe that the majority of people are outright evil because "only evil people can be racist" (I don't, and I would assume most people who are ethnic minorities don't, hence why we consider it an annoying deflection to talk about intent or morality because, to us, the conversation isn't about the soul of the oppressor but the tangible harm caused regardless of their personal ethics), or that the majority of people are simply blind to the lives of others and their own privilege in relationship to others, which seems far more closer to the truth.

As for the employee, I find it hard to really judge her words directly because we don't know the extent of her conversation, obviously enough. She could've been a malicious little shit or just a dumbass. The big tell for me, however, is that the children told their mother about the incident. She had to walk back into the store to confront the employee, which- considering how ready and able she was to stand up for her children- is something that probably would've happened at the time of the incident had she been present and/or heard it herself. So, more than likely, the children were the one who were hurt by this themselves, enough to tell their mom their side of the story before they left or when they got home. As a result, she had to go back and make an example of the employee. This is why I'm not so ready and willing to believe that the mom is making a mountain out of a molehill or that the employee would've said something similar to a white kid wearing something weird in September, or at least said it with the same presumed venom that these children felt.

 

[Breads]

Okay, I think I get it now... Guess it depends on how you define the word "racism". To me, "accidental racism" sounds like an oxymoron, unless it's like a subconscious thing where someone harbors biases unknowingly. To determine if it was subconscious racism, we'd have to know if she would have made the "trick or treating" comment to white kids dressed like this

But that's impossible to know, so... I'm agnostic on this. At least know she knows that it's a traditional dress.

That's one way of putting it. Another way of putting it is that you lack perspective because you aren't even remotely close to where these nuanced cultural issues are relevant and with no stakes or empathy you only argue for the sake of arguing

 

[Bisnic]

Why would someone be filming their family entering a grocery store though? Who does that? Did they already expect trouble or something?

 

[Condom]

Why would someone be filming their family entering a grocery store though? Who does that? Did they already expect trouble or something?

I think they returned to the store after the incident

 

[Bisnic]

I think they returned to the store after the incident

Oh. I thought it happened while they were opening the door and you couldn't hear the employee since she was too far away.

 

[Cyanity]

The kids being scared/freaked out enough to get their mother to come back in the store and talk to the lady behind the counter is the kicker here. Kids can hear the intent behind the shit you say to them. If that lady had just been making a joke in good faith, they probably would have laughed it off.


There's WAY too much apologia in here for that woman behind the counter. Especially in 2016 when race relations are tense at best. Can we just give this family the benefit of the doubt here?



edit - Also, that woman repeatedly lied about what she said, while at the same time admitting to having said what she was being accused of saying. Unnecessary if she had just been making a lighthearted joke.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

The kids being scared/freaked out enough to get their mother to come back in the store and talk to the lady behind the counter is the kicker here. Kids can hear the intent behind the shit you say to them. If that lady had just been making a joke in good faith, they probably would have laughed it off.


There's WAY too much apologia in here for that woman behind the counter. Especially in 2016 when race relations are tense at best. Can we just give this family the benefit of the doubt here?



edit - Also, that woman repeatedly lied about what she said, while at the same time admitting to having said what she was being accused of saying. Unnecessary if she had just been making a lighthearted joke.

No, we can't give a Black woman the benefit of the doubt. Because as wel all know racism and bigotry is ONLY when you use the word "nigger". It has nothing to do with rude and passive aggressive jabs being used against children because they're not dressing "White".

So nah, we apparently can't focus on the ignorant bigot. We gotta make excuses for her and instead castigate the mother for the manner in which she deals with the establishment in her own neighborhood disrespecting her children.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

You're not great at reading comprehension are you? I said that the Clerk was in the wrong. I said she deserved punishment. I said she deserved something effective and something that would make her think about what she did. I also often think yelling doesn't end up doing that as often as some people in this thread seem to think it does. I don't give a flying shit about the Clerk's feelings or whatever. I also don't fucking think the Mother should have been docile or humble or what the fuck ever. Learn to comprehend other's reading.

My "Takeaway" isn't in and of itself about the Mother's behavior but that is the current course of discussion in this thread. As such, I am discussing it. I mean, I already consistently agreed that the Clerk was in the wrong.

So, I'll say it again. The Clerk was wrong


... That's quite the dial you got there. Its almost as if its not in anyway related to ANYTHING I was talking about -_-

I read your words. I disagree with them. The mother did nothing wrong and had ever right to yell and I'm glad she did. Fuck being docile. Fuck a sliding scale or whatever bullshit people want to pull out their ass to indicate what she SHOULD have done in this situation. We are not here to be your respectable Negro.

My point is that you offer a one line blurb about the clerk is wrong then go in on picking the mothers behavior apart. So yes, I can comprehend that you said that. But my point is that you spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to claim how wrong the mother is.

Maybe you should spend the same amount of time wondering what type of person would think that's acceptable to say rude shit to a bunch of kids.

All you been bitching about in this thread is how the moms should have not yelled. If that's your takeaway I think you're either full of shit or live in a bubble. Pick one.

 

[gutter_trash]

Why would someone be filming their family entering a grocery store though? Who does that? Did they already expect trouble or something?

This is What I thought

 

[Mammoth Jones]

You're right. Why explain it to her when you can yell and swear at her. That'll learn her...

Yes. Because it's our personal job to continue to explain to people how not to be bigoted idiots.

How dare we express emotions when our children are disrespected.

We should all be magical negroes. Calm, patient, serene and always ready willing and able to help White people be better White people. It's why we're here!

 

[RipperGrim]

I read your words. I disagree with them. The mother did nothing wrong and had ever right to yell and I'm glad she did. Fuck being docile. Fuck a sliding scale or whatever bullshit people want to pull out their ass to indicate what she SHOULD have done in this situation. We are not here to be your respectable Negro.

My point is that you offer a one line blurb about the clerk is wrong then go in on picking the mothers behavior apart. So yes, I can comprehend that you said that. But my point is that you spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to claim how wrong the mother is.

Maybe you should spend the same amount of time wondering what type of person would think that's acceptable to say rude shit to a bunch of kids.

All you been bitching about in this thread is how the moms should have not yelled. If that's your takeaway I think you're either full of shit or live in a bubble. Pick one.

What exactly did the clerk say? That they are going trick or treating? Wow so fucking terrible,I bet those kids are traumatised for life now. They could have just said no and explained what it was so the clerk could therefore actually learn what it was. It could have ended at that and the clerk would have still learned about the error that was made.

I can't believe this shit gets such a big focus when there's way more fucked up things happening in the name of racism. This thread is bigger than the one where a mother got beaten and lost her child, that's the kind of shit we should be worrying about and highlighting. While this story won't even be remembered by next week.

 

[besada]

I can't believe this shit gets such a big focus when there's way more fucked up things happening in the name of racism. This thread is bigger than the one where a mother got beaten and lost her child, that's the kind of shit we should be worrying about and highlighting. While this story won't even be remembered by next week.

It's really simple: If you don't think this thread or any other thread is worth discussing then don't. But popping in to tell everyone else how unimportant you find a thread is thread whining, and you'll be banned for it, because it's off-topic and no one gives a shit whether you think it's worth discussing or not.

 

[Mr. X]

I can't believe there are so many serious posts saying that black lady should spend time to teach the old lady why it was inappropriate comment without yelling and swearing.

She is not her nanny or some guide into african cultures.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

What exactly did the clerk say? That they are going trick or treating? Wow so fucking terrible,I bet those kids are traumatised for life now. They could have just said no and explained what it was so the clerk could therefore actually learn what it was. It could have ended at that and the clerk would have still learned about the error that was made.

I can't believe this shit gets such a big focus when there's way more fucked up things happening in the name of racism. This thread is bigger than the one where a mother got beaten and lost her child, that's the kind of shit we should be worrying about and highlighting. While this story won't even be remembered by next week.

It's september. Are people really so fucking naive to think this wasn't a snide remark. Even more so, simce when was it aceptable to just make comments on people's clothing to their face? Why the fuck is this clerk being so nosey? Would she do that shit to an adult's face?

Some of the people in this thread (you included) would have me believe adults are so fucking stupid and uniformed that they can't tell when clothing is from another culture. Or that comparing clothing from a different culture to a halloween costume is not extremly insulting. All this shit playss into that vanilla racism people love to pedal. "It's about informing the "ignorant", not expecting adults to act with some fucking common sense and shut the fuck up". Its embarassing.

And you end it off with the classic "yall got bigger things to worry about:". No. You listen. Human beings have the capacity to handle more than one thing at a time. And attitudes like yours are exactly why all the unconscious bias and vanilla racism still exists. Because you think that by dictating that only the most egregious examples matter, you can supposedly fix everything. Ignoring the fact that because you can just make fun of black peoples speech, or their clothing or X, Y, Z thing about them with a hugr defense force, you create an environment where people actively think less of minorities. And if you think less of people why the hell wouldnt that lead to you treating them as less?

If you think this is unimportant then ignore it. But don't sit on you throne from a mile away and sling rocks at people who have to deal with this shit.

 

[Soldiussnaku]

I agree the world needs passionate protective and righteous unafraid mothers. I'm merely suggesting "you kids wait right here I'll be back in five minutes" would be an improvement to this exact same scenario.

No, sometimes, especially in the face of racist assholes, calling out their bullshit also means cursing too. The mother taught the kids a valuable lesson, to stand up to racists, and use strong language IF need be to curb the vile crap racism is.

I'd rather my kids have the guts to call out racist fucking bullshit then worrying about them cursing and/or hurting the racists feelings, and I say that as a devout muslim.

Let's face it, swearing is becoming more and more socially acceptable over the generations, and here in the north in the UK, it's pretty much normal lingo to pepper conversations with swear words.

Of course I fully agree with the notion that you should definitely watch what you say in front of kids, I certainly do, but situations like the one OP posted, she was right to make the clearest possible message, with the language used, imho.

 

[kavanf1]

I wish I could be that eloquent when filled with rage. My anger tends to overwhelm my ability to formulate a good argument.

 

[Seventy70]

I really don't get the "She was just unfamiliar with that kind of clothing." Even if she was unfamiliar, she should've just said, "I've never seen that type of clothing before. Why do you wear it? Just curious." Instead, she insulted them straight away without knowing anything about why they were wearing it.

 

[Chinese Cartoons]

Maybe don't be a racist asshole.

But I'm sure people will find a reason to fault the mom tho

You ok with the way she responded to it?

 

[Mammoth Jones]

You ok with the way she responded to it?

I am. What's good?

 

[m0dus]

I have traditional Arab garb (a robe, riyal, shoes. ) something that elsewhere in the world is acceptable as normal daily clothes, that defines my cultural identity that would look admittedly out of place in a speedway. Something that would easily invite the same comment, maybe worse, in the same situation. I wonder how I would respond in this situation.

I think that, if the comment was directed at me, my approach would probably be firm, but calm. I can't shake the feeling that, by screaming at this employee, the mother had squandered an opportunity to spread and potentially compound empathy and understanding.

On the other hand, I don't have any kids, and I cannot assume my reasoned and rational response would necessarily fly if someone made even a seemingly benign comment to embarrass my child. Look at moms reaction in that context (you shamed my kids for being who they are in public,) I'm not shocked at the response at all, and I'm willing to bet, driven by the prejudice and racism I've experienced in my life, and the very idea that my kids will have to face the same or worse growing up, I could see my response get dialed to 11 in a heartbeat.

 

[MrRudiMentary]

Have you guys ever wore some kind of clothing that wasn't normal? How would you feel is some dollar store cashier lady made fun of your clothes? How many of you wouldn't be self-conscious about that? The mum was fully in the right to defend her kids in that way and she did it in as entertaining a way as possible.

 

[Seventy70]

I have traditional Arab garb (a robe, riyal, shoes. ) something that elsewhere in the world is acceptable as normal daily clothes, that defines my cultural identity that would look admittedly out of place in a speedway. Something that would easily invite the same comment, maybe worse, in the same situation. I wonder how I would respond in this situation.

I think that, if the comment was directed at me, my approach would probably be firm, but calm. I can't shake the feeling that, by screaming at this employee, the mother had squandered an opportunity to spread and potentially compound empathy and understanding.

On the other hand, I don't have any kids, and I cannot assume my reasoned and rational response would necessarily fly if someone made even a seemingly benign comment to embarrass my child. Look at moms reaction in that context (you shamed my kids for being who they are in public,) I'm not shocked at the response at all, and I'm willing to bet, driven by the prejudice and racism I've experienced in my life, and the very idea that my kids will have to face the same or worse growing up, I could see my response get dialed to 11 in a heartbeat.

Exactly. And with this situation, I'm sure the kids at some point have voiced against having to wear something that's not "normal". The mother wants her kids to hold on to their heritage, but to also wants them to be able to get through daily life without being ridiculed. The clerk making fun of them was probably just throwing fuel onto that fire. It's not hard to see why she was as angry as she was.

 

[OléGunner]

Someone taking a racist pop shot at your kids, you just can't stand for that shit.
Don't blame the mum for losing her cool there.

Store clerk knew damn well what she was tryna insinuate with the Halloween comment.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

What exactly did the clerk say? That they are going trick or treating? Wow so fucking terrible,I bet those kids are traumatised for life now. They could have just said no and explained what it was so the clerk could therefore actually learn what it was. It could have ended at that and the clerk would have still learned about the error that was made.

I can't believe this shit gets such a big focus when there's way more fucked up things happening in the name of racism. This thread is bigger than the one where a mother got beaten and lost her child, that's the kind of shit we should be worrying about and highlighting. While this story won't even be remembered by next week.

You're being arrogant, condescending, and dismissive. Par for the course w/ this type of discussion.

Why couldn't the kids explain to the rude cashier why their clothes aren't halloween outfits? Are you even listening to yourself?

 

[OléGunner]

"Sandra racist ass" had me dyyyying tho 😂

 

[Astral]

The mom had every right to be angry. The clerk was obviously trying to be funny with that stupid remark. It also looked like the kids told their mom that some lady said something rude to them since they're going back to the store and the mom asks some like "is this her?"

 

[SoRuffShoNuff]

I have traditional Arab garb (a robe, riyal, shoes. ) something that elsewhere in the world is acceptable as normal daily clothes, that defines my cultural identity that would look admittedly out of place in a speedway. Something that would easily invite the same comment, maybe worse, in the same situation. I wonder how I would respond in this situation.

I think that, if the comment was directed at me, my approach would probably be firm, but calm. I can't shake the feeling that, by screaming at this employee, the mother had squandered an opportunity to spread and potentially compound empathy and understanding.

On the other hand, I don't have any kids, and I cannot assume my reasoned and rational response would necessarily fly if someone made even a seemingly benign comment to embarrass my child. Look at moms reaction in that context (you shamed my kids for being who they are in public,) I'm not shocked at the response at all, and I'm willing to bet, driven by the prejudice and racism I've experienced in my life, and the very idea that my kids will have to face the same or worse growing up, I could see my response get dialed to 11 in a heartbeat.

There was no opportunity to spread understanding, the clerk was being purposefully ignorant. The clerk was an adult not a 10 year old and even the most sheltered person living in backwoods Alabama would be able to recognize the difference between a Halloween costume and cultural garb. Adding that we are in the middle of September and nowhere near Halloween the comment is even more unexplainable other than to be a jackass.

 

[BLACK AMERICAN PSYCHO]

No, we can't give a Black woman the benefit of the doubt. Because as wel all know racism and bigotry is ONLY when you use the word "nigger". It has nothing to do with rude and passive aggressive jabs being used against children because they're not dressing "White".

So nah, we apparently can't focus on the ignorant bigot. We gotta make excuses for her and instead castigate the mother for the manner in which she deals with the establishment in her own neighborhood disrespecting her children.

Look at the way white people react to black panthers. It's like they don't believe racist fuckery should be checked. Racism does not deserve a nice reaction. Racism in this country is mainly hatred, not some "We don't know any better" BS. A lot of these folk are more concerned about what is socially acceptable instead of what is morally right. This is why dog whistling tactics exist. This is why invisible to the naked eye intentional institutionalized racism exists. This is why they always look for some kind of excuse and it's super annoying.

 

[Slayven]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ25-U3jNWM

 

[Via Purifico]

When we as black children hear bullshit like "they speak so well" growing up and other snide remarks from white adults you don't get to tell us how to be offended.

The clerk knew what she was doing and no one has time to hand out essays on why it's wrong. There's no taking the high road when it comes to attacking someones kids.

 

[MatrixMan.EXE]

What the kids are wearing are also "normal clothes."

Yeah they're normal clothes but you get what he what the poster was saying, right? They obviously stand out in western society. They're fancy dress, obviously, but they're not 'normal' in that sense either. If someone got onto the bus wearing a kimino, it certainly wouldn't be a normal thing to see, no?

 

[DivineRage002]

My thoughts.

She was right to be offended, but she literally took out the sledgehammer, slightly overzealous for my taste.

But she was definitely in the right.

 

[SamuelSupreme]

A mom defends her children but she is wrong because she didn't do it the way you want her to do it.

This sounds like when white people tell Blacks to protest silently and non violently and then they lose their shit when someone like Kapernick does exactly that.

 

[Dude Abides]

The most charitable interpretation for the clerk was that she was making a dumb joke about the fact that their dress was not something you normally see and it was just jokey banter, but unless she knew them personally she should not have been making fun of their clothes even if she wasn't trying to be mean-spirited.

 

[BitStyle]

Good on the mother for standing up for her children. My father wouldn't let racist remarks against me and my fathers fly either.

Sandra will think again next time she wants to spout some ignorant shit.

I also see that Htown's principle is as relevant as ever.

 

[Stallion Dan]

Doesn't matter what she said. Asking kids if they are going trick or treating was obviously her making a shitty joke about their clothes. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult your clothing in a BAD way".

I personally have never seen someone wear something like that for anything but a special event, like a party, play, festival etc.

Maybe it's more common over there to see someone wearing that (though comments suggest it isn't), but here it would probably get a lot of joking comments, as would anyone dressing outside the norm. Wouldn't be anything to do with racism.

 

[_Ryo_]

And she was right to be furious but I'm not sure how good the lesson to her kids is with the cursing and screaming.

She's even cursing at the guy on the phone.

Yell. Make a scene. Or curse out of earshot of the kids. But cursing in front of your kids is counterproductive.

If your kids are teenagers, they're gonna curse anyway. Regardless, there's nothing really wrong with cursing for the most part anyway. Also being racist towards a child is much worse than saying "bad words".

 

[Avari]

I avoided contributing to this thread for a long time. My initial instinct is that the clerk was at absolute best being rude and snide, but more likely simply being racist. I also thought the mother could have probably handled it better as screaming and swearing in reaction to confrontation may not be the best example for your children.

That said it seems very easy for me to say that as someone whose children have never suffered and will likely never suffer the effects of racism. I know I can keep my calm, but be firm and stand my ground, if someone were to tease my children. I'm not sure I would do so if I saw someone assault my children. Is that worse then a lifetime of snide remarks, casual and overt racism?

 

[Stormhammer]

instead of pc police, now we got some subtle poc police tactics

 

[.JayZii]

She was in the right to be angry, but the reaction seemed a bit over the top, to me.

I also wonder why they were filming themselves going into a Dollar General. I guess they got exactly the reaction they were expecting and she was prepped with her counterattack.

 

[Dai101]

instead of pc police, now we got some subtle poc police tactics

Yup.

 

[Brinbe]

I'd probably be as upset if someone said some shit to my kids too. Talking about calm and shit. Fuck outta here, those are your kids. I don't get mad about much, but when it's those who can't ably defend themselves, especially your family? I'll be at your throat if you cross them.

 

[ReAxion]

that was so satisfying.

 

[TheStruggler]

It's september. Are people really so fucking naive to think this wasn't a snide remark. Even more so, simce when was it aceptable to just make comments on people's clothing to their face? Why the fuck is this clerk being so nosey? Would she do that shit to an adult's face?

Some of the people in this thread (you included) would have me believe adults are so fucking stupid and uniformed that they can't tell when clothing is from another culture. Or that comparing clothing from a different culture to a halloween costume is not extremly insulting. All this shit playss into that vanilla racism people love to pedal. "It's about informing the "ignorant", not expecting adults to act with some fucking common sense and shut the fuck up". Its embarassing.

And you end it off with the classic "yall got bigger things to worry about:". No. You listen. Human beings have the capacity to handle more than one thing at a time. And attitudes like yours are exactly why all the unconscious bias and vanilla racism still exists. Because you think that by dictating that only the most egregious examples matter, you can supposedly fix everything. Ignoring the fact that because you can just make fun of black peoples speech, or their clothing or X, Y, Z thing about them with a hugr defense force, you create an environment where people actively think less of minorities. And if you think less of people why the hell wouldnt that lead to you treating them as less?

If you think this is unimportant then ignore it. But don't sit on you throne from a mile away and sling rocks at people who have to deal with this shit.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Like I keep saying a civilization that can put a man on the moon but can't understand systemic racial oppression and dehumanization that can trickle down and lead a aint-got-shit-poor-ass old woman to believe she's well within her right as work to snidely insult non-European clothing?

C'mon....

 

[shamanick]

Man that was awesome. Good for that mother.

 

[Stormhammer]

Like I keep saying a civilization that can put a man on the moon but can't understand systemic racial oppression and dehumanization that can trickle down and lead a aint-got-shit-poor-ass old woman to believe she's well within her right as work to snidely insult non-European clothing?

C'mon....

i don't really see how this links? that sort of knowledge of a select few seems like its own thing aside from racial emotion and empathy