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Mom goes off on store clerk who made racist comment to her kids
- Thread starter Nasser
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excelsiorlef
Member
No one trick or treats in September.
Ninja Scooter
Member
at best it's incredibly ignorant cultural insensitivity. Would she have asked that of someone wearing a turban? Or of hasidic jews? Or the amish?
That she relegated a culture's garb to "Halloween costume" in a month that holiday does not occur in? The cultural garb of a people who were brought to this country against their will, enslaved, and consistently discriminated against to this very day. The cultural garb of a people who's culture is routinely mocked and appropriated by the dominant culture in this country. Costume...
She's either racist, offensively ignorant, offensively unfunny, or dumb as an ever-living fuck.
Take your pick. Explain your work.
Gravy Boat
Member
This is the part that I really don't like. People are way to eager to whip out their phone every time they get into any sort of confrontation and stick it up online. We can all agree that the woman made a stupid and ignorant comment but it's nothing that deserves her being plastered across the Internet as a racist.
People don't realise that stuff like this can literally ruin lives. This was a situation that could easily have been handled without the need for the Internet to get involved. If someone is being a truly horrible person then I could at least understand why you would want to name and shame them, but this situation doesn't come across that way.
The mother had a right to be angry and ask for an apology, even if I think she shouldn't have gotten so heated so quickly, but there's really nothing to be gained from posting it online.
I don't know what to say about this.
I have always approached every situation assuming that people are not being horrible, and it's served me very well.
I've also seen people who have done the opposite, assuming the worst and being cynical about everything.
99% of the time I find people are polite and sincere.
Id rather be considered a Pollyanna than seeing the absolute worst in everyone.
I have always approached every situation assuming that people are not being horrible, and it's served me very well.
I've also seen people who have done the opposite, assuming the worst and being cynical about everything.
99% of the time I find people are polite and sincere.
Id rather be considered a Pollyanna than seeing the absolute worst in everyone.
the_batman
Banned
imagine your cousin walking in there wearing a sari and the clerk goes "you going trick or treating? lol"
going by his tag, he's bengali.
Are you white?
If so this might be relevant.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/post...473246447019&tid=ss_fb&utm_term=.68de7d2cafbd
triplestation
Member
i can take that she isn't very culturally informed, which is still inoffensive
Surely she knows Halloween doesnt fall on September, so it makes sense she said what she said in a more playful manner like the other poster said
But to jump to racist is comedic almost
So you guys are saying a person of color wearing something ur not fimilar with, the only logical conclusion is to ask the child/person if they going trick or treating in september? That type of ignorance deserves to be cussed out, dont be trying to embarrasses no kids like that, she aint their friend nor close to them so why she trying ot clown them with a dumbass question like that? Poor kids probably just got back from Africa or going to some chruch event, just to be clowned on by some old lady to damn dumb to keep her mouth and shitty racist ass comment to herself. Educate yo self b4 you reck yo self
*sigh*
Which is why she might ask about it. Claiming to know that this lady recognizes african cultural wear as such is insane. If you think otherwise, then you live closer to post-racial America than I do. Congrats I guess.
On the downside it's a bummer you live in a world where random guys on the internet try to trick you into believing they see kids wearing their costumes early. I'm so tricky I even hacked into the major amusement parks and made it look like they do Halloween events in September. I even had the audacity to put Disney World's as beginning on Sept 2nd which seems fucking insane, but I really really wanted to trick you.
My complex scheme to convince you some lady MIGHT be ignorant instead of racist was foiled!
triplestation
Member
Then it'd indicate the clerk is an idiot at best, and uninformed. But it doesn't mean they said it to be offensive.
excelsiorlef
Member
I'd expect her not to think it's a Halloween costume period. Especially in September. They don't look like costumes.
She doesn't need to know fucking anything else.
And people who do are probably not minorities who deal with these issues
Imagine white people doing everything in their power to erase the cultural identity of Africa to the point where some white people might be confused when they see it in person.
You don't have to. It happened. You live in that world right now.
I mean shit, nobody in this goddamn thread could tell me WHICH culture the clothing in the video belongs to (Africa is a continent) but we MIGHT all know the difference between a Sheik and a Muslim.
triplestation
Member
I ate a cookie and some honey nut cheerios at midnight god damn it I feel like shit right now
But, that's like, your opinion.
As a black person with a few years under my belt, it is absolutely tiring to be constantly subjected to the racism and/or overwhelming, inexplicable, and astronomical ignorance of some white people and have it explained away as "teehee, guys she probably just didn't know! She's a dollar store clerk! September is Halloween adjacent! Maybe she was just joking with these children she didn't know! Guys!"
Let's be clear.
These kids are wearing traditional clothing.
Black people have been in this country almost since it's founding.
This woman is an adult.
This woman works in a black neighborhood.
That she would display such ignorance, so flagrantly, and suggest that these children in traditional garb of the African diaspora in this black neighborhood where she works are wearing Halloween costumes nowhere fucking near Halloween is absolutely offensive.
Surely you recognize there being a huge difference between offensively unfunny and plain ol racist.
One is a Michael Scott type , the other is Donald Sterling.
But this being the internet and all we just assume the worst. We're so quick to labeling people, what happened to benefit of the doubt?
Maybe shes a racist or maybe shes just some uneducated old lady who doesnt know any better? All i ask is that can we not jump right to conclusion? Things like this could legitimately ruin peoples lives.
Sorry, I don't see much of a difference in the context of this scenerio.
Be offensively unfunny to my 3 kids and you're gonna learn how to properly tell a goddamn joke or shut the fuck up after I cuss yo ass out.
triplestation
Member
I was just thinking of that Michael Scott analogy lol
There we have it, this clerk was pulling a Michael Scott
There we have it, this clerk was pulling a Michael Scott
Silphonica
Banned
trick or treating in September.
See I'd just expect her to be friendly to all her customers.
Lil'DigiOp
Member
Apparently this woman doesn't know American culture either.... Why would Halloween be in Sept? Should we educate her on that too?
The Atticus
Member
What?
excelsiorlef
Member
You can be friendly without being offensive and yes racist
Autocorrect is a bigot. Meant to type sikh.
The Atticus
Member
excelsiorlef
Member
You know Sikhs get attacked a lot because people think they're muslim though eh?
It doesn't have to be either/or. If the racism isn't coming from a place of anger and hate then it is coming from a place of ignorance.
Ignorance isn't a moral failing, though. Racism always is.
That was kinda part of my point. Most of this country is more ignorant than the average gaffer, and the average gaffer doesn't know shit about traditional African anything. That's a basic symptom of how hard colonialism hit Africa.
Like I said, it kinda hits close to home in my head. My mother-in-law loves her black grand babies to death. She has willingly sacrificed being connected to people in her family because of how much she loves them. I don't think she is racist. She works at a Dollar General. She is sweet but very stupid. I could see her asking the same dumb question.
Or not. I dunno. Maybe the lady is just being an asshole. I just don't think we know how much or how little was obvious to that lady.
Either way, her life is gonna get fucked the hell up -- so I hope to god that she is a racist fuck.
Oh I am for sure.
No doubt. I used to do sound for live events a million years ago. The majority of what I know about eastern cultures is from their weddings, haha.
Claude Augario
Member
When Jesse Williams said "trying us on like costumes before discarding our bodies" I don't think he meant it as literally as the Halloween-in-September nonsense the Racism Defense Force is hinging its argument on.
Separating the two as mutually exclusive has led to the situation America (and subsequently this thread) is in where most racism is coddled and excused away because people are more concerned with not being responsible for their racism because it has been codified (mainly by white people) as a conscious act of intended evil like murder, and thus people are invested in claiming ignorance or no ill will. Moral failures, like racism, can occur through ignorance and lack of understanding. We can hurt the people around us without meaning to. You can also conclude that a lot of racism that occurs is the result of subconscious biases and ignorance, which doesn't make you evil, but it still deserves calling out anyway because it still induces harm. Either way you slice it, everyone does shit that is unintentionally hurtful. The way to deal with such situations is never to say "I didn't mean it!"
Think of it this way: does me not meaning to run you over with my car matter to the fact that your leg is now broken?
Pretty sure it matters for a lot on basically every level. Might not fix my leg but I know at least it won't have to worry about you when it's fixed if you're trying to kill people with your car.
The point is: my intent doesn't magically fix your leg. The harm is done, and no amount of me not meaning it is going to put it back in place. Intent only says to what extent I'm liable legally and ethically.
Racism is the same. People of all moral aptitudes can do racist things. Saying "I didn't mean it like that!" doesn't make what you said or did not racist. It just means you're not a conscious asshole like a Klansman.
Sure.
No, but are you saying it doesn't matter at all? Of course my leg is broken in either case, but it matters a great deal to the ethics of the situation. In fact, you could say it's the only thing that matters. Intentionally running over someone is evil. Accidentally running over someone is... an accident.
The issue in these matters from the perspective of people of color is never whether or not someone intended to do something racist, ergo intent is a deflection; an excuse. The issue is "You did x and that hurt me." Trying to downplay responsibility through intent stalls the conversation and is basically the reason racism is as protected and unaddressed as it is.
Having kept my mind open up to now without watching the video, I really don't feel that the mum went overboard in any way. Hell that wasn't even yelling, she just raised her voice and gave an angry yet measured talk. Good on her to be honest. And even if the comment was made by the cashier with the best of intentions, hopefully she learns to be better safe than sorry next time.
But there WAS a reason to fault the mother. Sandra was racist, sure, but the mom reacted completely inappropriately. She set a real bad example to her apparently 'respectable' children by berating Sandra in public.
I don't see how it downplays responsibility. A person who accidentally runs me over and a person who intentionally runs me over are both responsible, and face legal consequences. But those consequences are different based on intent. One gets their license taken away, one gets jail time for attempted murder. (I don't really know what the punishments would be in this case, not a lawyer
)I don't see how it downplays responsibility. A person who accidentally runs me over and a person who intentionally runs me over are both responsible, and face legal consequences. But those consequences are different based on intent. One gets their license taken away, one gets jail time for attempted murder. (I don't really know what the punishments would be in this case, not a lawyer
The difference in punishment is not in dispute. But when it comes to racism, what tends to be in dispute is whether or not it even took place, and that argument is always attempted to be framed on intent. It's the same as saying "I didn't break you leg because I didn't mean to" even when it's obvious the bone is visible.
Shadow Ranger
Member
That is complete and utter bullshit.
My grandmother is 90 years old chinese immigrant whose english vocabulary consist of 2 words yes and no. She was educated in china and doesnt know anything whatsover about black or white culture.
Say this grandma of mine(who now lives in Chinatown, NYC) stopped by a local supermarket and casually said "that apple is beautiful" in chinese. The word "THAT" in mandarin sounds identical to the N word to english speakers. https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-common-Chinese-word-that-sounds-like-nigga-to-American-ears
Say ,hypothetically, a black lady nearby hears her comment and loses her shit over it because she thinks this old woman is calling her a n*****. This lady is very upset and understandably so....
Is my grandma a racist for saying a word that she would casually repeat over 50x a day but is hurtful and demeaning in a foreign language? For using a language that was created before slavery began, before America was founded?
In scenario would you call my grandmother racist? If so fuck you.
Ofcourse intend fucking matters. It should be the only thing that matters.
Your grandmother in his scenario didn't actually say "nigger". She said the Mandarin word for "no" which was misheard as "nigger," in which case any offended black person would be in the wrong for claiming the lady did something she did not. This isn't actually a comparable example at all so why you tried to bring it up as some kind of smoking gun, I have no idea.
And if you're going to insult me, you can catch feelings somewhere else. If you think the long and short of racism is that it doesn't occur at all in any circumstance unless someone deliberately intends to be racist, then frankly you're ignorant of racism as a phenomenon and need to do more research (I'll help you get started). Furthermore, if you think you can shirk all responsibility for your actions and mistakes based on the excuse of "I didn't mean to!" then you need to grow the fuck up.
Captin Quacker
Member
But your hypothetical doesn't work here Cuz there was only one language involved nothing was lost in translation
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