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[Lv99 Slacker]

It's not bad. Austin Books & Comics carries them.

 

[Box of Kittens]

This beverage is seriously a 0 or 100 for reactions with nothing in between. It's like they carbonated a political talking point and bottled it.

My wife is the only exception that I know of to this rule. She thinks Moxie is OK, everyone else I know who has tried it is on one of the extremes, wrong (anti-Moxie) or right (pro-Moxie).

 

[Prax]

I have never tried Moxie and I probably don't approve (esp if its bitter!!!!).

but I approve of Bagels' into post writing skills.

Have any of you tried Brio? What do you think of that compared to Moxie? I hate Brio.

 

[peteykirch]

In terms of regional sodas, Cheerwine blows the pants off of Moxie.

 

[genericsuperhero]

I knew a girl in college from around Boston, and she would bring cases of Moxie back with her to school. She would always let me bum a few cans and I loved it.

 

[dantevsninjas]

Moxie is gross. That is all.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Fuck yeah.
I love Moxie.

 

[jb1234]

It's delicious. I miss it.

(But given my habit of consuming multiple cans in one sitting, probably for the best.)

 

[Sagroth]

I've had this a few times(my local cheesemonger carries it). Pretty decent, but my favorite specialty soda remains Honey Cola by far.

 

[Marty Chinn]

I enjoy Moxie from time to time. The first time I ever heard of it was at a place that specialized in soda from all over the world and the owner told me to not drink or gulp Moxie. He told me you need to drink it slowly and sip it. So that's how I drink it whenever I get it and I think it tastes better that way.

 

[Orbis Tabula]

I started reading this before I looked at who posted it. But that didn't matter. Bagels has such a unique style. I love it. Thanks for sharing. I've never heard of Moxie but now I want to check it out!

 

[Neverfade]

I had it once when I was up north a few years ago. It wasn't the worst tasting drink ever, but it made my fucking tongue numb.

 

[BlueTsunami]

A drink that should fade into antiquity. Tried it once, was disgusted.

 

[Dennis]

softening of the brain

What the hell is this?

The brain is basically already a blob of fat.

 

[Dai101]

Carbonated Lobster?

Both better than montain dew.

 

[JABEE]

The Greatest Local Beverage. You will only find it in South Jersey. It's Headquarters are in Riverside. New Jersey. It is still a family business.

Mix with water.

Takes things to the next level.

Boost Slushies are the best.

Alos, I tried Moxie this summer. I wasn't a fan.

 

[Bagels]

I had it a few times maybe 10+ years ago when I was in middle school. I can't say I remember liking it, but I would probably try it again.

Side Note: It's funny that a guy named Bagels is from Maine, because my brother used to have that as his tag on a few websites when I was really young. Also hi to all of Maine/former Mainer GAF!

I've spent a decent chunk of my life in Maine and I have family from there but I can't really claim to be from Maine. Mainers are crazy about that.

Totally want to try this. I wonder if it's similar to chinotto in flavour.



It's Bagels.

No idea what chinitto is, but I want to go on record as not wearing any Moxie clothing so that other poster is not talking about me.

Okay, so I have one hat.

Moxie, it's the aftertaste that gets ya..

This is why my wife hates Moxie. She says it tastes fine at first, but the aftertaste is potent and burns.

Moxie is disgusting. Anyone who encourages you to try it is not your friend.

I have gotten so many friends hooked on Moxie, though!

I've been drinking Moxie all my life, so it could be a bit of Stockholm Syndrome, I'll admit. I'm glad I like the flavor because there is additional nostalgic appeal for me. I can't drink a Moxie without thinking about being in Maine. It's a super specific and super evocative flavor to me.

When I saw the thread title, I knew who had created this thread.

Following your twitter its basically: Moxie and callipgraphy. God help us if Moxie releases a commemorative calligraphic-quality pen.

Oh man. I can dream...

Also, I resent this. My twitter also has Mountain Goats songs and my live-tweeting television shows about tiny houses. So much good info!

Does dude have a pin of himself in the exact same pose which looks to have another pin on its lapel?

I has never noticed this! This is some illuminati shit.

 

[Mr. Doop]

Moxie is pretty good. The Moxie Guy on the logo kind of creeps me out, though. I don't like his face.

 

[The Wall]

This is why my wife hates Moxie. She says it tastes fine at first, but the aftertaste is potent and burns.

That's the best part!

 

[Bagels]

In terms of regional sodas, Cheerwine blows the pants off of Moxie.

I was pumped to try Cheerwine but I was completely underwhelmed. It wasn't some amazing, unique flavor.

I started reading this before I looked at who posted it. But that didn't matter. Bagels has such a unique style. I love it. Thanks for sharing. I've never heard of Moxie but now I want to check it out!

Hey thanks! I don't want to be pigeonholed as *just* the pen guy, so I'm writing about the other dumb shit I like now!

What the hell is this?

The brain is basically already a blob of fat.

But fats exist in liquid and solid forms! If I don't drink enough Moxie, I worry the whole thing will turn liquid and pool around my ankles.

 

[jb1234]

But fats exist in liquid and solid forms! If I don't drink enough Moxie, I worry the whole thing will turn liquid and pool around my ankles.

I think that ship's already sailed, bro.

 

[Nikodemos]

Hey thanks! I don't want to be pigeonholed as *just* the pen guy, so I'M writing about the other dumb shit I like now!

Horizontal expansion, eh? Good, good.

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

Well now I'm curious, great op, op! As luck would have it there's a specialty soda shop/manufacturer like 15 mins from me in WA state that makes it. Might have to take a trip down there today...

http://www.orcabeverage.com/storefront/retro_soda_pop/moxie.html

edit: Looks like its just for wholesalers and retailers, which means its likely to be in a supermarket nearby, I know the grocery chain Haggen has a decent selection of specialty sodas...

 

[Salamande]

Put me in the "despise" camp.

I tried it when I first moved to Vermont a couple of years ago. Stuff tastes like detergent. Not another drop, so help me.

 

[Bagels]

I think that ship's already sailed, bro.

1) I keep my ankles covered. The Victorians had it right. Saved that shit for marriage.
2) They look fantastic.
3) Screw you.

 

[jb1234]

1) I keep my ankles covered. The Victorians had it right. Saved that shit for marriage.
2) They look fantastic.
3) Screw you.

<3

 

[Machine]

I wonder if I can find Moxie locally. It's one of those regional beverages I've always wanted to try along with Cheerwine, Big Red, and Cel-Ray.

I grew up drinking Vernors here in Michigan but sadly it's a shadow of its former self. They cut down on the ginger flavor and carbonation so it's a lot milder and flatter than it used to be. I still have my Faygo Rock & Rye though.

 

[Beartruck]

I consider myself a bit of a soda aficionado, having tried probably 100 kinds of different glass bottle sodas, and Moxie was by far the most repugnant. I suppose it's an acquired taste of an extreme variety, but still.

Incidentally, if you want a weird soda, may I suggest Mr. Q cumber? Shit is refreshing and tastes exactly like a cucumber, which is a unique experience.

 

[Bagels]

accept zero substitutes! this historic brew somehow manages to sound even more remarkably goddamn terrible each time you describe it. we need to get some sorta moxie/vegemite exchange happening.

The post office suggested I could send you a can for something like 30 bucks.

Be ready.

 

[Chickadee]

I tried Moxie a few times over the years while I lived in MA. It's just not for me, I find it to be quite gross. :/

 

[Bagels]

Shit tastes like wood varnish mixed with sugar.

It's like they carbonated a political talking point and bottled it.

I disagree with your opinion, but I love the way you state it.

 

[hom3land]

In terms of regional sodas, Cheerwine blows the pants off of Moxie.

I personally believe the only acceptable time to drink cheerwine is when you go to cookout

 

[Meohsix]

There's a little shop here in Florida not far from my house that carries a bunch of weird and novelty sodas. Last time I was there I unfortunately bought a bottle of Moxie. It was horrible.

 

[DigitalDevil]

Love Moxie but I discovered it for reasons other than living in/near Maine. I worked for a company called Moxie Pest Control years ago and during a Google fueled nostalgia trip discovered the soda and bought some. I still have a can on my desk at work. Actually I still have about 8 cans in the garage as well. Weird flavor but I like it.

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

Moxie's not just a concept..great day in the morning.

Does dude have a pin of himself in the exact same pose which looks to have another pin on its lapel?

Moxception

 

[Teriyaki Blues]

Moxception

Droste effect/mise en abyme.

(I found this out because I've recently become a fan of the Laughing Cow.)

 

[OSHAN]

Moxie is great, especially with a large pepperoni from Pat's.

 

[Sub_Level]

I never read OPs but I read yours', OP. You've got moxie.

 

[Lazy vs Crazy]

Moxie is really bad and I believe everyone needs to try it. It's very important.

 

[magnetic]

The last soft drinks I tried were Vimto (delicious!) and Irn Bru (which tastes pretty much like sugar and water, much like the Turkish soda Uludag).

Sounds like Moxie is the Vegemite of soft drinks, and I really want to try one, but I live in Germany.

Thanks for the entertaining post by the way, I love obscure pop culture stuff like this!

 

[jb1234]

hey i warmed to vegemite

You're going to hell.

 

[Bagels]

The last soft drinks I tried were Vimto (delicious!) and Irn Bru (which tastes pretty much like sugar and water, much like the Turkish soda Uludag).

Sounds like Moxie is the Vegemite of soft drinks, and I really want to try one, but I live in Germany.

Thanks for the entertaining post by the way, I love obscure pop culture stuff like this!

I had Vimto a million years ago. I can't remember what it tastes like, but I love the name. There is a British goods shop in Freeport, Maine (this all comes back to Maine) that used to carry it. That's also where I tried Irn Bru. Irn Bru is great! Ya done good, Scotland.

I've had New Zealand Marmite - the NZ version of Vegimite's chief competing product (why the fuck are there competing versions of this????) - and it is literally the most repulsive thing I have ever tried. How is it saltier than a big spoonful of salt???

 

[Poodlestrike]

BRB developing a soda based on lobster.

 

[ATF487]

OP I live in MA and have never had Moxie. In honor of this glorious thread I will buy some soon.

 

[Bagels]

He's got a heroin addiction, judging by those eyes.

 

[Chmpocalypse]

Moxie is an American beverage with a rich history stretching back to the birth of the soft drink, with a totally unique flavor that will either instantly hook you or make you feel queasy every time you think of it. In its heyday, Moxie was more popular than Coca-Cola, but is now found only in parts of new England, chiefly the state of Maine. However, boutique distributors and online sales mean you can order a case of Moxie anywhere in the world and bask in its deliciousness or rapidly induce vomiting. There has never been a more appropriate time to discuss this iconic (?) American soda on a videogame message board.

Moxie was developed in Lowell, Massachusetts around 1876 by Maine-born physician, Dr. Augustin Thompson. Coca-Cola did not show up for another ten years. (Hires Root Beer slightly predates Moxie to hold the title of the oldest continuously produced soft drink in the US. The dates these things officially started are hotly debated by the kind of people who hotly debate soda trivia. My older brother is one and it is insufferable. I say that as someone writing 1000 words about one soda on a message board, just to give you an idea of how tedious it gets.) Like the better known cola, Moxie was originally sold as a patent medicine. Medicinal uses included curing "paralysis, softening of the brain, nervousness, and insomnia”. Every time I drink one, my brain feels a little firmer, so this is all true. Unlike Coca-Cola, Moxie did not originally contain actual cocaine, so it was not marketed as a cure for heroin addiction (an actual suggested use of the patent medicine Coca-Cola. The idea of using cocaine to treat morphine addiction was actually Sigmund Freud’s initial claim to fame, long before he developed psychoanalysis and told you that you have a thing for your mom).



The chief appeal of Moxie is its distinctive “bitter,” “less sweet,” “medicinal,” “herbal,” or “hateful” flavor. There are plenty of people who will take a Pepsi if offered, but don’t really have strong feelings about the flavor. Moxie is not like this. People love it or despise it

I will note in passing that while I love Moxie, Diet Moxie tastes like someone threw up a stomachful of batteries. Not recommended.

Disgusting.

So what does Moxie taste like? The only way to find out is to drink some. It is pretty distinctive. Moxie’s closest cousins are root beers, especially traditional root beers made with natural flavors. Sarsaparilla or birch beer are also related in that they have somewhat herbal, medicinal flavors. Although Moxie contains plenty of sugar, drinkers invariably note that it is far less sweet-tasting than Coke or Pepsi. Moxie’s secret ingredient is “gentian root extractives,” responsible for the bitter, herbal flavor (and anti-brain softening powers), and also found in Angostura bitters (you can sort of approximate Moxie by adding a generous dose of bitters to a Coke. Emphasis on “sort of”). Author EB White famously remarked that, “Moxie contains gentian root which is the key to the good life.” I have no clue what the fuck that means, but it is intuitively correct. If you are going to have a good life, you know there will be roots involved.


Yum.

One might assume the soda is named for the American phrase, “to have a lot of moxie,” meaning one has “vim, vigor, stamina, and just plain ‘guts’." However, the etymology actually goes the other way - the name of he beverage was adapted as a popular expression for vim, vigor, etc. It’s a mark of how obscure Moxie has become that the decidedly old-timey expression, “you’ve got moxie, kid!” is far better known than the product it is derived from.

During the Great Depression, Moxie actually enjoyed greater popularity than Coca-Cola - a beverage so indispensable in American life that it is part of the FAA-mandated equipment of our commercial aircraft. It is strange to think that global juggernaut Coca-Cola once spent considerable time trying to gain market share against the now little-known Moxie. The fact that Moxie is decidedly a Yankee beverage had to sting in Atlanta. Sorry for burning down your city during Gone With the Wind.

Oh, Ashley! Why you drinking that infernal Yankee Moxie soda?

The decline of the Moxie brand on the national stage began in the 1930s. A price increase, fiddling with the formula (a move that would later trip up Coca-Cola), and a wartime decision to spend funds on cane sugar instead of national advertising, all damaged the Moxie brand. Coke replaced cane sugar with cheaper corn syrup and passed the savings along to…well, advertisers, actually. The only downside was an obesity epidemic sweeping the nation by the close of the century. HFCS either has nothing or everything to do with this, depending on which crazy people you listen to.

Moxie enjoyed a brief, minor, resurgence of popularity in the 1960s when Mad Magazine began inserting Moxie advertisements into the backgrounds of their comics. I’ve read both that Moxie paid for the product placement, which seems an odd choice, and that it was a random choice by Mad’s “usual gang of idiots” (as the writers and artists called themselves). As with several of the key points in Moxie history, it’s not entirely clear which version is correct.

Moxie was saved from being quietly discontinued in the 1980s as the small town of Lisbon, Maine began an annual Moxie festival. Moxie went on to be named the official state beverage of Maine in 2005, replacing the previous state beverage, made from carbonated lobster. It is noted that Monarch Beverage Co., who owned the rights to Moxie at the time, was “mildly amused.” There is a historic trend of the Moxie owners being resistant to anyone popularizing the brand. Moxie was sold to current owners Cornucopia Beverages in 2007. Cornucopia is owned by Kirin Beverages, who are part of the Mitsubishi family, meaning that Maine’s official state beverage is now technically Japanese. Okay, so it’s not really, but this is the kind of shit that makes Donald Trump’s blood boil.


In the Moxie soda family.

Moxie’s chief champion in the 2010s has been former Daily Show contributor, author, and PC from those Apple ads, John Hodgman. Here’s Hodgman name-dropping Moxie on national television and getting an imporbably boisterous round of applause. Other notable Moxie drinkers include Boston Red Sock Ted Williams and forgettable US president Calvin Coolidge.

Moxie is available in cans, glass bottles, and 2-liter bottles, and you can find a formulation made with real sugar. It’s easy to find in Maine and I’ve found it as far South as Connecticut and Manhattan. Some Moxie is produced on the West Coast for distribution to smaller specialty shops. I know of a distributor near Chicago and there are currently a stunning two locations to purchase Moxie is my current home of Indianapolis. Good luck finding it, though. I’m in a weird competition with some other displaced Mainer to buy up the limited supply when it shows up every few weeks.

Moxie can be ordered directly from the company for shipment around the world. The main consideration is that water is quite dense, so shipping costs for 12 packs are steep. When all the costs are combined, expect to pay about $2 per can. Better deals can sometimes be found from ebay resellers.

The chain Rocketfizz sells Moxie in bottles at their stores across the US.

Moxie, surprisingly, has a social media presence on Twitter and Facebook. They’ll post weird Moxie recipes and quotes from deranged people like me who are obsessed with soda from Maine.

Actual Facebook post.

As a final piece of trivia there are Moxie-based cocktails. The most popular is the “Mad Mailman,” comprised of Moxie and Jagermeister. Curiously, some people who find both of those things repellant find he combination tasty. Jagermeister is another weird flavor, so this all makes perfect sense.

I know there are a few wayward Moxie fans lurking GAF!

So gross : p

 

[Bagels]

I never read OPs but I read yours', OP. You've got moxie.

Awwww! Thanks!

If anyone missed it, the guy above quoted all of it, so...thanks for that.

 

[Strike]

I bought a case a while back. It was alright. Tasted kind of like it was flat or watered down. Finished the case, but didn't have any strong feelings about it either way.

 

[Stinkles]

Just wanted to compliment the OP's writing. I enjoy a simple, clear, humorous voice. I therefore, enjoyed this.

 

[Bagels]

I bought a case a while back. It was alright. Tasted kind of like it was flat or watered down. Finished the case, but didn't have any strong feelings about it either way.

Adulterated or counterfeit Moxie is a real problem. Probably.

Just wanted to compliment the OP's writing. I enjoy a simple, clear, humorous voice. I therefore, enjoyed this.

Hey thanks. I'm working on the "simple" part. My speech and writing are both filled with asides and footnotes (verbal footnotes?) And nested stories. I like writing in that expansive, unhinged way, but I'm trying to still do so with more economy.