My lawyers ARE AT IT AGAIN! Legal summons to be sent to the NFL Players Association

Willco

Hollywood Square
... with your approval, of course. I'll be e-mailing it.

-------------------------------------------------------------

NFL Players Association,

I represent the 3,877 active members of the International Gaming-Age™ Forum for Entertainment and Commerce, all of which are active supporters of National League Football and the NFL Players Association, and have enlisted the legal assistance of my law firm, Kurtz, Schwartz, Weinstein and Ramirez & Sons. It has come under our attention that you have engaged in an illegal contract with video game publisher Electronic Arts for exclusivity rights, leaving your association vulnerable to prosecution as an accomplice to several antitrust violations, in addition to grand felony marketplace negligence and a separate infringement of the Corporate Fair Play Act of 1998.

All legal proceedings could be avoided if the NFL Players Association were to immediately nullify its contract with Electronic Arts, which is not binding by law. In addition to the widespread ripple effect on the video game industry, including possible price hikes, squelching fair competition and customer dissatisfaction, the most viable threat to the NFL brand is the likelihood that the exclusivity deal will allow Electronic Arts cut payroll, thereby rendering the development process stagnant for the length of the contract.

Not only does Electronic Arts practice iniquitous business tactics, the company itself is renown its unsightly record that has been a blight upon the video game industry. The following are documented facts about the company that the NFL Players Association has chosen to align itself with:


* Once operated by Trip Hawkins, who led 3DO to bankruptcy despite a diverse portfolio and strong brand recognition. Hawkins, while at Electronic Arts, was detained by police several times for disorderly conduct and illegal online trade of drug paraphernalia.


* Electronic Arts has recently come under heavy allegations of employee abuse; paying programmers slave wages, unpaid overtime and inhumane treatment of designated employees. Working conditions are said to be obscene and abominable. Fellow legal peer Robert C. Schubert, a partner at the San Francisco law firm Schubert & Reed, has initiated legal proceedings to start a class-action lawsuit on behalf of a group of Electronic Arts employees.


* In addition to inexcusable labor practices, Electronic Arts has fostered illegal immigration by actively pursuing illegal aliens in an effort to pay minimal dues for high-quality, foreign art design. This in turn has led to massive layoffs within internal development houses and left many former Electronics Arts employees, some with families, completely homeless.


* Electronic Arts Chief Executive Larry Probst has a scandalous professional and personal history, with Probst prosecuted for assault and battery of an Electronic Arts employee in June of 2003 and an acquittal of double homicide in January of 1992. Probst has undergone routine anger management, and has had many run-ins with the law during his early years as an industry executive. Probst's ulterior motives for lucrative licensing agreements have left many of its once profitable partners, including Warner Bros. in an economic slump, and Electronic Arts' library of IPs have flat lined.


As shown, Electronic Arts has a history of faulty, distressing business relationships and is constantly led by professionals with spotty records. If you choose to move forward with the proposed licensing agreement, Kurtz, Schwartz, Weinstein and Ramirez & Sons will have no choice but to file paperwork on behalf the International Gaming-Age™ Forum for Entertainment and Commerce for injunction against the exclusivity agreement, followed by a class-action lawsuit.

In addition, there is the matter of monetary settlement for a select category of purchasers of the football video game simulation ESPN Football 2K5, which has been financially damaged and devalued by these improper business practices. Kurtz, Schwartz, Weinstein and Ramirez & Sons recommends an immediate settlement within the range $1.2 million for damages and mental anguish.

Failure to comply by December 31st, 2004 will result in immediate set of official procedures and a timetable for litigation to be determined and mailed at a later point.

Sincerely,
Chad Pennington, Executive Administrator

Kurtz, Schwartz, Weinstein and Ramirez & Sons
Suite 101
516 N Frederick Ave
Gaithersburg, MD 20877
 
Just read your letter. Beautifully written, and you did your research excellently. Take 'em down man! You have my support.
 
Where's this Corporate Fair Play Act of 1998 for the WWE license? Screw the NFL, someone get the WWE license away from THQ!

Save us Bish!
 
Willco said:
:lol

Someone got it. I'm sending it as Chadwick Pennington, probably.
:lol
EA has done some horrible things in the past. Wilco mentioned the majority, and the fact that they are paying programmers slave wages, and not giving them their overtime pay makes me sick. I plan to work as a programmer and I know all of the hard work that those guys do. Many long nights in front of those screens, and then slapping them in the face like this is despicable. EA really needs to be taking to suit regarding this. If they drop their wages, and then disregard their overtime pay, can outsourcing really be that far?
 
I just sent this to the NFL PLAYERS ASSOCIATION EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENT, which includes:

Gene Upshaw, Executive Director
Doug Allen, Assistant Executive Director
Mary Moran, Director of Human Resources
Kerry Cosover, Executive Assistant/Travel Coordinator
Erin Kelly, Executive/HR Assistant
Emma Martinez, Office Assistant
Lauren Carroll, Receptionist

... If I don't hear anything in a few days, EA is next!
 
Bishman said:
*wipes tear from face*

What a great letter Wilco. :)
*Blows nose*
My sentiments exactly.

Wilco, take it straight to the man. If they don't respond, just keep sending it. Get it published in a small newspaper. Just get yourself noticed man, and just know that we support you. It is about damn time somebody did this, and I think you are the right guy to do it. Your letter is beautiful, and anybody that argues that deserves to be slapped. I just passed my one year anniversary on my EA boycott, and I see no end in sight!
 
Willco said:
I just sent this to the NFL PLAYERS ASSOCIATION EXECUTIVE DEPARTMENT, which includes:

Gene Upshaw, Executive Director
Doug Allen, Assistant Executive Director
Mary Moran, Director of Human Resources
Kerry Cosover, Executive Assistant/Travel Coordinator
Erin Kelly, Executive/HR Assistant
Emma Martinez, Office Assistant
Lauren Carroll, Receptionist

... If I don't hear anything in a few days, EA is next!
They're gonna be very impressed when you call them the National League Football. :D
Nice letter. NFL QB Club >>>>> Madden.
 
proof.jpg


NLB2 said:
They're gonna be very impressed when you call them the National League Football

:lol ... I didn't even notice tha- WAIT I MEAN I DID IT ON PURPOSE.
 
Mrbob said:
Chadwick Pennington! :lol

Ok I posted this in the sticky but I'm reposting it here. Here are some more direct links if people want to contact the parties involved in this sham:

Electronic Arts
Trudy Muller, 650-628-7323
tmuller@ea.com

NFL
Brian McCarthy, 212-450-2069
McCarthyB@NFL.com

PLAYERS INC
Christy Moran, 202-496-2885
christy.moran@nflplayers.com

Awesome!

I JUST SENT AN AMMENDED E-MAIL TO ALL THREE, DIRECTED TO MCCARTHY and MORAN, AND CC'd TO MULLER!
 
Too bad noone from a real law firm would send something like this from a web mail account. GMail is not that crazy popular yet though, so that was the good choice, probably.
 
Marconelly said:
Too bad noone from a real law firm would send something like this from a web mail account. GMail is not that crazy popular yet though, so that was the good choice, probably.

There's a lot of hints that most people would pick up on. The point of a fake legal summons is just to get the person's attention. I've done it plenty of times before and you'd be surprised how many people respond -- including Kevin Smith, once.

Half the stuff about Larry Probst and Trip Hawkins is pure crap. I peppered the false shit with bits of truth, though.
 
There's a lot of hints that most people would pick up on.
Oh, I know - the name of the firm alone is hilarious. It's just that some people take everything too seriously, and I think those are the ones you hope will read this in the firsl place.

Half the stuff about Larry Probst and Trip Hawkins is pure crap. I peppered the false shit with bits of truth, though.
That's the best way to go, of course!
 
Willco said:
Not only does Electronic Arts practice iniquitous business tactics, the company itself is renown its unsightly record that has been a blight upon the video game industry.

This sentence needs to be corrected. See if anyone else can spot the problem. ;)
 
Ironclad_Ninja said:
Do you actually expect an original response, or some autonomous dribble?

Usually, these get actual responses. It freaks people out at first and then they realize it's fake and feel the need to reply. I've got responses from Nintendo, Kevin Smith, etc.
 
Willco said:
Usually, these get actual responses. It freaks people out at first and then they realize it's fake and feel the need to reply. I've got responses from Nintendo, Kevin Smith, etc.
Well, then maybe I should experiment with this. I don't understand though, why would realizing that it's fake make them feel like they need to reply?
 
Hey, subtract one from that 3,877 number...I don't support the National Football League. In fact, I yearn for a time when the whole organization has been disbanded. Then, instead of getting together to watch some boring, tedious game played by morons each Sunday, football fans will instead participate in gladiator-like contests in which they beat eachother with cinder blocks and other blunt objects.

Thank you.
 
Minotauro said:
Hey, subtract one from that 3,877 number...I don't support the National Football League. In fact, I yearn for a time when the whole organization has been disbanded. Then, instead of getting together to watch some boring, tedious game played by morons each Sunday, football fans will instead participate in gladiator-like contests in which they beat eachother with cinder blocks and other blunt objects.

Thank you.
:lol :lol :lol
I so thought you were gonna push MMA here.
 
Pfft.

At any rate, I threatened to sue Kevin Smith for his negative "review" of Spider-Man back in 2002, saying that his comments were close to libel and damaged the reputation of Sony, Spider-Man and Sam Raimi.

He e-mailed me back and thought it was pretty hilarious. We exchanged e-mails a few times.

I also threatened to sue Nintendo on behalf of the Chesapeake Foundation of Blind Kids, all of whom were victims of having to squint to see their favorite characters on Game Boy Advance due to no backlight. Now permanently blind, we were seeking damages.

This was a great response. It was half PR babble and half apologetic. Whomever sent it was like, "We're sorry about the plights of your foundation" or some such bullshit, but then told us that the Game Boy Advance SP was on the way and kids would no longer suffer such permanent eye sight damage!
 
Willco said:
.

I also threatened to sue Nintendo on behalf of the Chesapeake Foundation of Blind Kids, all of whom were victims of having to squint to see their favorite characters on Game Boy Advance due to no backlight. Now permanently blind, we were seeking damages.

This was a great response. It was half PR babble and half apologetic. Whomever sent it was like, "We're sorry about the plights of your foundation" or some such bullshit, but then told us that the Game Boy Advance SP was on the way and kids would no longer suffer such permanent eye sight damage!

:lol :lol :lol
 
Willco said:
Pfft.

At any rate, I threatened to sue Kevin Smith for his negative "review" of Spider-Man back in 2002, saying that his comments were close to libel and damaged the reputation of Sony, Spider-Man and Sam Raimi.

He e-mailed me back and thought it was pretty hilarious. We exchanged e-mails a few times.

I also threatened to sue Nintendo on behalf of the Chesapeake Foundation of Blind Kids, all of whom were victims of having to squint to see their favorite characters on Game Boy Advance due to no backlight. Now permanently blind, we were seeking damages.

This was a great response. It was half PR babble and half apologetic. Whomever sent it was like, "We're sorry about the plights of your foundation" or some such bullshit, but then told us that the Game Boy Advance SP was on the way and kids would no longer suffer such permanent eye sight damage!
I will have to try that some time! It sounds like a great experiment for an ethics class. :lol Corporations are great to mess with.
 
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