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[Ecrofirt]

I'm working on our company website, and there's a paragraph in here that I just don't think is very well written.

I know some of you here are whizzes at fixing my paragraphs (as long nights in IRC have shown ), so I'm wondering if someone can help me fix this up a bit:

We offer a wide variety of award choices from standard walnuts to new laqueur finish awards. Glass, marble, and metal alone or in combination offer new and exciting award choices as well. Above are links to the various companies we use for our award choices. Please feel free to browse each website to view the variety of award choices we offer.

I've tried changing it to something like this, but it's still definitely not correct. It's more along the lines of what I'm headed towards, though:

We have a wide variety of award choices available such as plaques in various wood finishes. Glass, marble, and metal alone or in combination offer new and exciting award choices as well. Above are links to the companies we use for our award choices. Please feel free to browse each website to view the assortment of awards we offer.

The main things I don't feel look correct in the first one are the repeated uses of forms of the word 'variety', and also the phrase 'award choices'. The first sentence is also a bit goofy, and it's clear to see I tried changing that around when I revised it, but it's still not working.

If anyone can offer help, it's greatly appreciated.

 

[Mama Smurf]

Very quick and dirty:

We offer a wide variety of award choices, from standard walnuts to new laqueur (lacquer?) finishes. Alone or in combination, glass, marble, and metal also offer new and exciting possibilities. Above are links to the various companies we use for our award choices. Please feel free to browse each website to view the variety we offer.

It'd help if I actually knew what I was talking about. What your company does and stuff I mean.

EDIT: I just changed the first example though, you probably wanted the second one done instead.

 

[CabbageRed]

My brain is just switching on but you mention the styles of awards offered in the first sentence but only list one. If it is two, then they seem too similar but I won't pretend to know the market. However, “many styles,” “numerous styles,” or something goofy list “diverse array of styles” can all help you avoid ‘variety.”

Another rough template for the second sentence:

"Whether you are looking for glass, marble, metal, or a combination any of the three; we offer a wide variety of awards to suite the needs of our customers."

"Needs" could also be "wishes" depending on the voice of the site.

 

[Ecrofirt]

Thanks for the help.

We're a small trophy shop, and they've got me designing the site. Mama Smurf, yes I did have lacquer spelled incorrectly.

These are giving me a very good starting point for how to take this. Thanks!

 

[spliced]

I'm not sure what is meant by the third line so here is two ways.

Above are the links to the companies we have chosen for our awards.

Above are the links to the companies that have chosen our awards.


You could change one or more of the 'award choices' to 'award options'