Here are my Posting Ideas:
Title: 90s Bands by Console
Body:
Saturn: Sebadoh, Shellac, Palvo, Mamoru Samuragochi, The Chemical Brothers
N64: The Inbreds, Nickelback, Buckcherry, Puddle of Mudd
PS1: Radiohead, Ben Folds Five, Nirvana
3DO: Dave Matthews Band
Neo Geo: Klangforum Wien, Sylvain Cambreling, Catherine Dubosc
SNES: Green Day, Hootie & the Blowfish, Matchbox 20
Genesis: Guns N' Roses, Korn, Limp Bizkit, Tag Team, Cypress Hill
32X: D12, Insane Clown Posse, Slipknot, Kottonmouth Kings
Sega CD: The Crystal Method, Fatboy Slim, Everlast, Tool
Title: Why are pokemon games so cheaply made and developers anonymous
Body: No one can name any of the pokemon developers by name. It's totally thankless work to develop pokemon games. And the games always look cheaply made even though they sell a shitload. Pokemon Sword will probably outsell BOTW but the latter is the prestige title. A lot of things in video games come down to cachet and social status imho. It's never JUST about the games.
Title: The folly and tragedy of Perfect Dark
Body:
A lot of aspects of Perfect Dark are allegorical and in many ways are striking for their verisimilitude. Perhaps moreso today than ever. The frist part that stands out to me is the Chicago level. Joanna's body count when gunning down enemies on the streets of Chicago is actually quaint by today's standards for that city. Gun control (or lack thereof) is a major factor here, actually, as is the Republican wing of the Illinois state legislature, which insists on, "muh freedoms." It actually makes me wistful seeing that soundtrack and partaking in what would actually be a slow Saturday by today's standards. Being that the game was from 2000, there are a lot of bittersweet moments like this. Another one is the thing with aliens. Back then, it felt silly, but recent disclosures have started to make the probable existence of extraterrestrial life an increasing possibility. It was a silly concept in 2000, but now it's old news. The juxtaposition between Elvis and the Skedar/Mr Blonde is another fascinating one that I think speaks for itself on an intellectual level when you think of the modern dating market and its prizing of "Chad" looks above all else. The Skedar wear a Chad armor to hide themselves and get away with whatever they want in human society. Elvis, short and hideous, stays hidden in the shadows whenever he can. He needs to ally himself with an attractive woman, as a matter of fact, if he's to get anything done in 2023 on earth. Prescient, if tragic.
Joanna and Cassandra De Vries were both strong female leads in an era before that was in vogue. Joanna's sobriquet is an allusion not to her looks, but to her skill in combat. Cassandra is a strong female executive who probably has a top MBA with a background in MBB consulting in all likelihood. These characters were ahead of their time, but they never address their marital status and lack of a significant other. It's not enough to just have a strong female lead (or villain). What they didn't realize in 2000 is that you need to demonstrate that cis Women do not, in any appreciable respect, need a genetic "man" present in their life. The developers tried to address this by omitting this, but it isn't enough. There simply aren't enough moments for Joanna to establish herself as a sexual entity who has willfully made the choice to avoid the joint & several liability of a relationship at this stage in her career. By avoiding the topic, not to mention giving Joanna that dreadful haircut, they hurt her character development, the sales and success of the game, and the legacy of the franchise. 2023, the year in which this game took place, is right around the corner, and we are no closer to understanding Joanna Dark's true motivations. No doubt incels would call her a "Mary-Sue," a shallow character, and too perfect. Let them. But the fact that the creators didn't have the foresight to see this coming is all but too tragic; this is, perhaps, in mind, the greatest folly — and tragedy — of Perfect Dark.
Title: Sega's "Flowers For Algernon"-esque Console Trajectory
Body:
The Genesis -
Progress report - 1989 - Im going to play some games. Streets of Rage is fun because you beat people up. Mortel Combat haz blood. Im going to America to the Sega Technical Institute. They are gonna pay me many every month for lerning to make Americans violent. Im glad Im selling in America because all my frends and all the fun we have here.
32x -
Progress Report - 1994 - Tom Kalinske says I shud keep putting out beat-em-ups but I dont have to do it every day just when I think of something or something speshul happins. He says dont get discoridged because it takes time and it happins slow. He says it took a long time with Genesis before he got 2 times more bits then he was before. Thats why Genesis beats me all the time at sales. That makes me feel better. I coud probly do that amazed faster than a reglar Genesis without a 32x. Maybe some day III beat SNES. Boy that would be some· thing. So far SNES looks like it might win the gen.
Saturn -
Progress Report - 1995 - This day was good for me. Seeing the past more clearly, I have decided to use my knowledge and skills to work in the field of playing anime fighters and obscure Japanese titles. Who is better equipped for this work? Who else has lived in both worlds? These are my people. Let me use my gift to do something for them. Tomorrow, I will discuss with Tom Kalinske the manner in which I can work in this area. I may be able to help him work out the problems of dual processors. I have several good ideas of my own. There is so much that might be done with this technique. If I could be made into a console with both 2D and 3D powers, what about thousands of consoles like myself? What fantastic levels might be achieved by using this technique on normal consoles? On add-ons? There are so many doors to open. I am impatient to begin. The processing stimulus to which we were subjected results in an intensification and acceleration of all processes. The unforeseen development, which I have taken the liberty of calling the Saturn Effect, is the logical extension of the entire intellectual speed-up. The hypothesis here proven may be described simply in the following terms: Consoles with dual processors for 2D and 3D have their market position deteriorate at a rate of time directly proportional to the quantity of the increase. I feel that this, in itself, is an important discovery. As long as I am able to write, I will continue to record my thoughts in these progress reports. It is one of my few pleasures. However, by all indications, my own Console Sales deterioration will be very rapid.
Dreamcast -
Progress Report - 2000. Sammy called a strange banker to see me. he was afraid I was going to die. I told the banker I had lots of games and wasn't going to die and that I only had low sales sometimes. He asked me did I have any DVD-playing capabilities and I said no I don't have any. I told him I had a friend called Visual Concepts once but he was a Westerner and we used to make games together. He looked at me kind of funny like he thought I was crazy. He smiled when I told him I had a big successful launch. He talked to me like I was a baby and he winked at Sony. I got mad and chased him out because he was making fun of me the way they all used to.
Progress Report - 2001. Good-by Tom Kalinske and Yuji Naka and evreybody. And P.S. please tell Bill Gates not to be such a grouch when pepul 1aff at him and he woud have more frends. Its easy to make frends if you let pepul laff at you. 1m going to have lots of frends where I go. P.P.S. Please if you get a chanse put some flowrs on Sonic's grave in the bak yard ...
Title: Conflicted feelings on the Xbox 360
Body:
I
know that there are others like me. They may not want to be seen or heard from, but it's a simple fact that the aberrant rise and fall of the Xbox brand within a single gen is going to introduce some conflicted feelings. I'm having similar feelings now, with the Series X & S triumphing in quarterly sales. On the one hand, I really have to hand it to Microsoft. 360 has a solid library of (admittedly western-skewed) software. Some of the best exclusives of the gen. Peak console FPS zeitgeist nirvana with Halo and COD. These virtues were evident in the sales, which were solid, at least up until the 2010 midterm election and its consequences. In many ways, it was the peak of Western gaming. A louder, more profanity-laden, sexier-looking reverberation of the movement started by the Genesis and N64's western libraries. Aesthetically, and experientialy, COD had its closest peer not in Ghost Recon, or Medal of Honor, nor in Counter-Strike, but in Goldeneye 007. Many of the fans of 90s console FPSs - or what was left of them - flocked to the Xbox and especially the 360. And who should blame them? Sony, with their high-minded ideals, and Nintendo playing to its audience of toddlers and geriatrics, couldn't be bothered. This is why I love the 360. In many ways, it kept gaming alive through the throes of Bush's second term, the great recession, and the chaos that followed. Chaos that Board youngs know little about, which Board Olds would like to forget. Economic ruination. Social decay. Wars that wouldn't end. A public option, which would offer so much relief to the middle class, with its wings clipped by a cruel and obstructionist congress before it could fly. But I digress.
The Xbox 360, for all its virtues, well, it brought in a certain
element into gaming. Experientialy, it was fittingly telegraphed with the color green. That of skoal and mountain dew. Even oxycontin pills have a light-green tint iirc. Microsoft aren't idiots; they chose this color for a reason. And I find in doing so, they were exploitative of a proletariat who was simultaneously credulous and closed-minded. Now, I'm not talking about Gamefaqs posters here. I'm talking about the sorts who don't post on the internet. Those who would sooner yell obscenities and racial epithets into microphones than participate in intelligent gaming discussion. But, with that said, I
hate ad-hominem arguments, and other intellectually dishonest tactics used all too often in internet discourse. I don't judge
that type of gamer because we are all products of our circumstances, and not all of us can be fortunate enough to transcend our animal instincts. For that reason, I actually rank 360 games
higher than I would otherwise, just to demonstrate that I'm not an elitist. I'll give Saints Row and Gears their due, no problem. These are great AAA titles imo. But they're not worth the scores I've given them on various gaming sites. They're 9.3 games imo and not the 9.7 caliber of titles that I've purported. I feel conflicted about this, as though I'm practicing an intellectual affirmative action to the benefit of individuals who couldn't care less about such high-minded ideals. I even bought several 360s after RROD, just to demonstrate the type of gamer - and person - that I am.
Title: PS3 was a misunderstood, anachronistic intellectual heavyweight
Body: 599 U.S. dollars was a bargain for this hardware in its day for the fact that it, and its titles, served as a safe harbor for serious gamers in an era where gaming’s intellectual foundations were otherwise shifting beneath our feet. Although many of us didn’t fully appreciate it at the time, PS3’s catalog was stellar for its deep library of innovative and intellectually stimulating software. They just don’t make them like they used to imo. Its libraeyvshines in particular in retrospect, for without Demon’s Souls, we’d nary have Elden Ring, the current greatest game of all time. That entire franchise was born on the PS3, and exclusively no less. A triumph. MGS4 gave us the pinnacle of cutscene-driven storytelling. Heavy Rain gave us all that and more. In terms of intellectual merit, the PS3’s peers are only the PS1 and Saturn. No other console before or since holds the same pedigree in terms of artistic and intellectual quality. A triumph.
Title: N64 (and Dreamcast) had amazing launches and then CRASHED
Body:
Sony is all powerful, and is perhaps connected with the Emperor himself somehow. The way in which they consistently Win, no matter what, is shocking imho. They always had full control of the narrative in a way that no one could rival.
Case in point: Howard Lincoln getting GRILLED on having "no games" like 3 months after releasing the greatest game of all time hitherto
....how long did it take for PS2 and PS3 to have, "games," and no one ever criticised them iirc.
From a business perspective, Nintendo found themselves on the defensive right from the beginning. Despite being the entrenched player in the market, it was as though they immediately became a distant #2 after a 3-month honeymoon period. Every 3rd party developer and every gaming magazine lined up behind Sony. Then came the low blows like this -
https://img.cinemablend.com/filter:...696aee54830911a0fef03539f42a6e495.jpg?fw=1200
Maybe I underestimated the demand for middling, cheap games. Like were people so ecstatic to have Tomb Raider for $40 instead of Turok for $60, I don't get it. I thought both consoles' libraries were admittedly top-heavy af but people have always asserted that the PS1 had this bottomless library of games. Each console has basically 10 good games before you get to the point that you're either dumpster-diving, or that you're an aficionado for a particular genre.
N64 - Super mario 64, Mario Kart, Star Fox, Goldeneye, Perfect Dark, Smash Bros, Banjo, Zelda, Zelda, Star Wars Rogue Squadron/SOTE/Racer, Wave Race. There's a dropoff in quality after this point but it isn't steep imo, still have the wrestling games, 1080, Turok, F-zero, Hybrid Heaven, Paper Mario.
PS1 - FF7/FF9, MGS, FF8 (sucks imo), a bunch more JPRGs, Gran Turismo, Resident Evil, Symphony of the night, then what the f*** else? I know it had Mega Man, Street Fighter, but did anyone care? They sold 100 million PS1s but no game sold nearly that amount, I suspect that that number is a lie of some sort or that people bought the console in 3rd world countries to play CDs or something. Discuss.
Title: Xbox is catching up to PS5 and it's ruining my life
Body: I can't stand for such a second-rate console with a fanbase consisting of juvenile delinquents and white supremacists being on the verge of beating the superior PlayStation contemporary. I will give up gaming if Xbox starts to win this gen, full stop. I already attempted suicide, albeit for non-gaming reasons, during the Seventh gen; Sony's performance during that gen was of no help in providing me a desire to live. One more gen like that will kill me. It fills me with such anger to see console wars raging on in this day and age. It's like, enough is enough ffs. When will the days of Sony hegemony return? Can someone — anyone — get the guys who make gamepass games a cigarette and blindfold?
Title: They should make a bootleg Genesis game where you travel back in time to 1994
Body:
Before the colossal failures of the 32X, Saturn, and Dreamcast. Before that fateful battle in the mountains of the East of Afghanistan, and all of the consequences it held around drug use stateside. Basically the goal would be to extort political power from the Emperor (Akihito) such that Sega would gain status as a company and not have to play second or third fiddle. The N64, with its absence of Games (it had practically None, arguably) made for a huge opening in the Fifth Gen. That Sega failed to exploit this was a tremendous blunder whose consequences we are still paying for. The Genesis, for all of its hard-edged badassery, gave way to the Saturn, which had a softer, more effete, Intellectual touch. Really, a lot of the badass kids moved onto the N64 which was the province of wrestling games. If you could somehow displace the N64 and all of its blurry, scummy polygons with the rich, intellectual anime art of the Saturn, you do a lot to shape the tone of the gaming market and with it, society as a whole, not to mention Sega's future. Anyway, from a gameplay standpoint, the foundation would basically be an Earthworm Jim-esque platformer with badass guitar riffs and that smooth animation that only the Genesis could handle. Bosses, however, would be digitized like Mortal Kombat characters. There would also be minigames and a few RPG elements. It would still be mainly a side-scroller, but you'd do RPG stuff, like in Front Mission.
From a story standpoint, it would start off in 1989 when Hirohito's reign ended. Behind the scenes there was a historically-fictitious succession struggle, where the makers of each Console backed a particular candidate. Nintendo invested heavily in Akihito, Sega deferred as they were too weak at the time, and the other Console manufacturers were in disarray. With this, it was assured that the fourth gen would go to Nintendo and third parties would fall in line, in accordance with the bylaws written behind the scenes dictating third party publisher arrangements (this is how the economy works in Japan). The first Act of the story would end with a stealth mission where you spy on a meeting between the new emperor and Yamauchi and deliver the news to your contact in the Yakuza, only to find him dead. The second act would begin with the launch of Sonic the Hedgehog where behind the scenes, the Emperor was furious at Sega at their success wrought from marketing Badass games to westerners. This act Crescendos with the release of Mortal Kombat, which made the Japanese FURIOUS, where you fight a digitized boss resembling a Voltron or Power Ranger mech; also, you yourself are driving a mech. The battle takes place in caverns adjacent to Tokyo's disused pre-war Subway system that no one talks about or knows about. With the defeat of the Digitized Mech (with soundtrack composed by Tommy Tallarico, who is still alive btw), you would, through victory in this trial by combat, gain the respect of the emperor going into the Fifth Gen of game consoles. The Third Act would consist of behind-the-scenes espionage related to the Engineering of the Saturn. Because the Saturn was Engineered horribly with several processors, it was a POS from a hardware standpoint. It is possible that this was due to incompetent Engineering and thus that it would be prudent to kidnap Engineers from Sony or perhaps Panasonic. I know that it sounds like there are a lot of stealth levels but when you are dealing in historical fiction, you don't want too many big spectacles since it changes History too much. Anyway, the extent of the subterfuge makes the Emperor angry and he starts to favor Sony, as he did in our timeline. However, this could be evaded by using our newly-won clout to assure that the Nintendo Playstation would be released, causing Nintendo to get bogged down in having stupid af add-ons. Like all add-ons, it would have No Games, stymying the ambitions of its creators. By assuring that both parties would be forced to honor their agreement, Sega would keep its enemies occupied, assuring that it comes out on top. With Saturn Engineered properly, there would be nothing stopping Sega from Winning the Fifth Gen. The final boss of the third act would be Tom Kalinske, who would need to be dealt with if Sega would thrive in the fifth gen. His penchant for violent, badass games was tearing Sega asunder. The company needed one vision for the future and Tom wasn't it. He would have quite an impressive moveset and would be able to do Fatalities on you; also, if you die, there would be no continues, but you'd have a chance to give up and have a worse ending (similar to MGS). The fourth act would be the most important of all, where the critical Fifth Gen would be carried out. This act would have a lot of RPG elements where you go around securing deals with third parties. The final boss of the fourth act would be Shigeru Miyamoto, who, unfortunately, would need to be killed in order to prevent the release of Super Mario 64 and Zelda: OOT. He would basically have the same moveset as Liu Kang. The battle would take place in that level in Mortal Kombat with the spikes, and Miyamoto would be impaled on them. The fifth act would begin at the end of the fifth gen, in the year 2001, with Sega emerging victorious, with an array of both 2D and 3D exclusives, Nintendo in shambles, and Sony soured on the gaming industry as a whole. Our hero would begin the act in Lower Manhattan, in 2001, having infiltrated Urban Moving Systems. As part of a World Tendency system that would be at play the entire game, we would either be planting explosives at WTC7, or subverting attempts to do so. I know that this can be controversial so there are other ways we can go here. The point is that 9/11 was a critical event in gaming history due to how close it was to the launch of the Gamecube. I do think that the visual spectacle of this event and the timing of the release of the Fight Club DVD (and that ending) are intertwined. Remember, that DVD alone sold 10 million PS2s. The Urban Moving Systems levels would play similar to GTA1 or 2, which I think the Genesis can handle. You'd go around meeting with contacts, and everything would be incredibly vague and you wouldn't know who to trust. The events of 9/11 would occur in accordance with World Tendency and the outcome of various quests. The final boss of Act 5 would be Osama Bin Laden. The fight would be similar to the final boss of MGS3, except it would be Poppies blowing in the wind instead of Ornithogalums. Instead of The Boss discussing world events heretofore, Bin Laden would talk about his time in the CIA, and how he came up with Tom Calinske (plot twist), and how JRPGs were a sino-zionist plots to make western children weak and losery. He'd praise Sega for its work in making JRPGs less prominent while still having solid offerings with Phantasy Star and Shining Force. However, Bin Laden was a Nintendo sympathizer (as many of us know from his game library, where he logged tons of hours on Animal Crossing, not to mention that much of the software on the N64 fit with his vision of accelerationism in destroying the west), and thus, he would need to be destroyed. You fight a digitized Bin Laden with quite a formidable moveset. However, he would be greatly slowed down by the fact that he is on dialysis, leaving you the occasional opening for attack as he configures his dialysis machine. The soundtrack to this battle would be composed by Michiru Yamane. Discuss.
Title: Why do people give the N64 such a hard time for using cartridges?
Body:
First of all, I love the N64, particularly its wrestling and FPS games like Turok and Duke Nukem 64. But what I never understood is, why the hate for cartridges? The other 64 bit system of the 90s, the Jaguar, used cartridges — no hate. Other systems like the 3DO used CDs and failed miserably — were they praised for using CDs? It all feels like ex-post-facto rationalization to me. Square (and later, Square Pictures) did amazing things with FMVs, granted. But no one EXPECTED JRPG Firms to just become obsessed with FMVs. No one really saw it coming. FMVs heretofore had just been videos of stupid IRL stuff. Nobody expected Japanese artists to spend hundreds of thousands of man-hours modeling entire cities or Cannons or Weapons in advanced 3D and then film them for 10 second intervals.
And yeah, cool, Gex 3: Deep Cover Gecko had video of a blonde chick on PS1, but nothing on N64. I guess the N64 version is inferior.
The other thing I don't get is, the PS1 and Saturn used cartridges. The Saturn had a cartridge slot for playing cartridges ffs. Both had memory card slots (memory CARTRIDGES, as it were. They played cartridges!). The games may have been cheaper, but you had to get memory cards, often 2+ (although this is a testament to the number of Games the PS1 had compared to the N64).
Anyway, I get it. We lost. Sony won, we should move on, and stop caring. But then I keep coming back to - who really cares about JRPGs and FMVs? Does anyone REALLY care about that stuff? Isn't Goldeneye more revolutionary and impactful, given how big FPSs are? But whenever I bring this up irl, one of my buddies is just like, "Stop. Just Stop. Goldeneye aged terribly, and Nintendo Lost. Accept it and move on. The PS1 shipped 100 million units. 100 million. Check. Fucking. Mate," and I just feel like a fool every time. Still, I just wonder if we are writing history based on how many Units are sold rather than, like, what happened irl?
Title: Console Wars have Consequences
Body:
With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, we can ascertain that despite how we joke about the inconsequentiality of Console Wars that they, in fact, have consequences.
Fifth Gen: Nintendo's victory in the Fourth Gen having thrown Sega into disarray, Tom Kalinske, boomer, was butting heads with azns in Sega of Japan, which threatened to tear the company asunder. As a result of this chaos, the Saturn was launched early af. Despite being a formidable console in both 2D and 3D, with many arcade-perfect ports, JRPGs, 3D games, and much, much more in its repertoire, it failed because Sega of Japan was rushed. tl;dr Console Wars have consequences.
Sixth Gen: As a result of Sega's loss in the Fifth Gen, they came at us for one more brush with greatness with the Dreamcast. Again, excellent ports of Arcade games. again, weird games that are awesome. And yet, a colossal failure, as a direct result of what went on in the Fifth Gen. Yes, everyone was waiting for the PS2 and wanted to watch DVDs such as Fight Club, but the REASON for that can directly be placed on Sega's Loss - and Nintendo's Pyrrhic Victory - in the Fourth Gen. Both Firms were utterly devastated after years of warfare, which allowed Sony to swoop in and grab market share, as each Firm was devastated and in disarray, each unable to properly Engineer hardware. Sega, with their multiple processors, Nintendo using cartridges like fools.
THE CONSEQUENCES FOR SEGA:
•Thousands of Sega Engineers, artists, salarymen and so forth thrown out on the street. No one would employ the Engineers because the Saturn was known for having rubbish hardware. The artists were typecast as the kind of who could only do the kind of 2D anime games that no one makes anymore, or drawing badass characters like Sonic (who btw is just Felix the Cat combined with Mickey Mouse), and thus struggled to find employment. The Salarymen were scorned for working for a disreputable company, known for exporting violent games to credulous westerners and dishonoring Japan in the process.
•No one will ever make truly, properly weird anime games or competent Sonic games ever again
•Tom Kalinske's finances were devastated after resigning from Sega in 1996 (really, he was fired for losing the console war).It was said that he was unable to make the mortgage payments on his home in Fairfield County, CT.
•Sega's franchises scattered around the Console landscape like FF6 characters in the World of Ruin. It was a complete mess. Crazy Taxi, Sonic, Super Monkey Ball, Shenmue all for sale to the lowest bidder. It was a disgrace what happened to those franchises.
THE CONSEQUENCES FOR NINTENDO:
•As a result of its loss in the sixth gen, Nintendo became known as a brand for losers. The N64 had a host of badass games, including the wrestling games, War Gods, and others. Nintendo basically cleaned up their image in the Gamecube gen, and became known from that gen onward as the console for, well, you know. Eventually, as a result of their grievous loss in the sixth gen (caused in part by its loss in the Fifth Gen), they would get out of the console market completely, choosing only to make handhelds that pose as consoles, i.e. the Switch.
THE CONSEQUENCES FOR SQUARE PICTURES:
•The above occurrences created a huge opportunity for Square, which was able to strike when the iron was hot, making scores of JRPGs, many of which had FMV cutscenes which shocked the world and brought Nintendo to its knees. As a result of their success, they grew arrogant and started a production company known infamously as Square Pictures. They would produce one film, featuring Alec Baldwin, James Woods, and well, others who would prefer not to be named. As a result of the disgraceful, ruinous box office performance, Square Pictures filed for bankruptcy, putting thousands of artists, producers, motion capture actors, and others out on the street. This also led directly to Square's merger with Enix, which resulted in an ongoing Century of Humiliation where their games were subpar (80 years to go).
THE CONSEQUENCES FOR AMERICA
•Honestly, this has been discussed at length in various top-notch threads on this board and others going way back.
My question at this point is, how can anyone — ANYONE — glibly chide that console wars are "pointless," or, "who cares?" when there are real-world consequences for gamers, employees, firms, and the landscape of gaming as a whole? The very games that are produced are a direct result of which consoles have triumphed or failed in the never-ending wars between consoles.
just chat in topics that interest you and you'll be posting ots in no time
