A few months ago I met several members of a family. I've been getting to know them, and am pretty interested in one of the daughters. She really intelligent, driven, open minded, level headed, just an all around cool person. She's only 17 though (that's not the confession, read on,) but that's not really an issue. I'm not one to chase jailbait, I concluded that if I was still interested in a few months when she's an adult, I'd ask her out.
I've become friends with the mother as well. She's a nice person, fun to be around, interesting an easy to talk to, and has some similar hobbies to my own. The thing is, she's also really hot. Like, really, really hot. She's takes good care of her self, and she's very fit. To explain it better, she's old enough to have kids in their mid twenties, but doesn't look that age. She and her husband have a ton of kids (they're still having kids) but you would look at her and think she hasn't had any, or if she did it was over a decade ago. She's the kind of woman every man wants. Needless to say, I'm attracted to her.
The issue comes in when I tell you guys that I've been getting signs from her that she's also attracted to me. I typically see these people at large public social gatherings, and I can say she does not look for or like attention from random guys, she's told me a number of times about guys flirting with her too much, hitting on her, or outright asking her to leave with them, and what she does to make them stop. Since they live far away from my town, and the mother travels to where I live on a regular basis for hobbies (and I believe work as well,) and the father does not take part in any of this, I think starting an affair with her wouldn't be difficult to do or keep secret. The idea is very, very appealing.
But really, affairs are heinous business, the chances of one being successful I know are not good, so I told some of my friends about this whole situation, hoping that they would attempt to dissuade me from this madness. They did not. After explaining to them the entire situation, all of them who commented told me that yes, the logistics of her life make it pretty easy to avoid detection. A few even told me to go for it. Honestly, reason has failed to overcome lust, and I've been actively trying to make it happen for a little while. [I know I know, GAF hates cheaters, blah blah blah; keep reading.]
Now we get to the meat of this story: I've been thinking about everything that might happen if I can get things going with this woman, and I realized that even if I start an affair with her, I'm still really attracted to one of her daughters. Not the "yeah, she'd be cool to date" kind of attraction, but the "this is the kind of person I can imagine being with for a long kind" type, the "don't pass it up or you'll regret it" type. If I had this affair, I wouldn't hold off on asking the daughter out.
As any of you with a brain can tell, this is a recipe for a disaster of nuclear proportions. Every time I think about this, I come to the conclusion that a horrible, terrible outcome is inevitable. And yet, I cannot make myself step back. It's like I'm being pulled by some kind of irresistible force, and no matter how much I try to change my course, I keep heading in further and further.
The weirdest thing is, I don't even dread anything bad that will come out of this. I know that no matter what, if I keep going, things will turn out in some awful fashion, but only logic tells me how bad it will be. I don't fear the emotional fallout that will affect me, these two women, the mother's husband, or even the rest of their family. For some reason, I just accept it. I don't know why.
