Guys I got some Phenomenal information from an insider, he is the Distant cousin of a janitor, who is friends with a former somali pirate, who had a child with a chinese chip manufacturing worker, who is friend of a friend of an employee of subway next to a 3rd party studio. The following information is accurate to his estimation:
Nintendo is bringing a new switch, however with the recent success of the MT model of it's Mario Kart. All games will now feature a simliar MT. It will bring a new processor approx. 1.2 times stronger than the current model, and add 12 minutes on battery life. It will feature a new wifi chip, which now requires o be 1 inch away from a wifi access point to gain internet access rather than the traditional 1/2 inch. This new model will include two knee pads for all those Nintendo fanboys that like taking it in the rear, but will sell elbow pads for a nominal fee of 19.99, for those that like taking it on all four.
- Recently promoted CEO Bowser also has a scandal on his hand, apparently he has had an affair with a danish princess whose boyfriend was a plumber from Italy.
Microsoft is looking to make it's hardware a subscription model. It plans on making you pay 499 for the console, plus 39.99 a month to play on the system, gamepass and gold is included. Phil Spencer says he saw a Peleton commercial on tv and knew that was the model he would follow. He also refered his xbox fans as sheeples. Phil Spencer was also caught masturbating while looking at PS5 reddit forum.
Sony will not be release any information on PS5 until November 19 at 10PM. The release date will be November 20. Sony camp was caught saying that they thrive on despair and chaos. Following there recent model on multiplatform of The Show. Ghost of Tsushima will also be appearing on the xbox, however unlike the the PS4 version it will feature new voice over. Some of the sample dialogue was leaked, such as " Die xbox Die" and " Phil Spencer has a micro penis". Other changes included is instead of a sword, it will feature a vibrating dildo. It will have the same release day as it's Ps4 counterpart.
China was recently shown it's knockoff version of next gen system, with the codename Sarstwocovid. It will be manufactured in Wuhan and will come with a 3 hour warrant. There spokesman was excited to share some info about the warranty; " our vision is all about quality control, and i'm proud to say that our product last two more hours than a traditional 1 hour on most chines knockoff". It launch titles will be titles will be tetris, pong, and a bootleg copy of shaq fu. It will partner with huwei to steal and datamine customer's information.