ALRIGHT ALRIGHT OKAY LET'S GO.
NOW, YOU KNOW FOLKS, THIS IS THE HARDEST PART OF THE YEAR FOR ME, EH. WE AIN'T GONNA BE SEEIN' ANYMORE HOCKEY UNTIL OCTOBER, EH. BOY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT UNTIL IT'S GONE, EH. WHO SANG THAT SONG? PROBABLY A GOOD CANADIAN KID, EH.
I'M GONNA MISS SITTIN' HERE AN' TALKIN' 'BOUT VISORS, EH. YOU FOLKS KNOW I AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' TO DO UNTIL OCTOBER. I'LL PROBABLY GO OVER TO EUROPE AN' WORK FOR THEIR HOCKEY BROADCASTS, EH. HA HA, JUST KIDDIN' FOLKS, I AIN'T A COMMIE DEFECTOR LIKE THAT, EH.
WHAT I WON'T MISS IS DUMB DUMB RON'S JOKES, EH. I SIT HERE GIVIN' OUT GOOD HOCKEY ADVICE TO YOU KIDS OUT THERE, AN' YOU GOT THE COMEDIAN CRACKIN' JOKES, AN' BOY, THAT JUST GETS ME STEAMED.
NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE ALL WORRIED 'BOUT WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO ME AN' RON AN' THE CREW, AN' I'LL TELL YOU FOLKS WHAT I TOLD MY 1979 BOSTON BRUINS IN THE SEMI-FINALS AGAINST THE CANADIENS, EH: "DON'T WORRY 'BOUT IT. JUST GET ON THE ICE, EH." DON'T YOU WORRY 'BOUT US, FOLKS. WE'LL BE FINE, EH. I DUNNO 'BOUT PJ, THOUGH. I'M WORRIED 'BOUT THAT KID, EH.
NOW, LET ME TELL YOU KIDS A STORY: I WAS IN THE BATHROOM, WASHIN' MY HANDS, WHEN A BUNCH OF COMMIES WENT IN AN' ENTERED A BATHROOM STALL. THEY LEFT THEIR SHOES ON AN' STEPPED ON THE CARPET, AN' THEN LEFT THE DOOR OPEN 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO TELLS 'EM TO DO. ANYHOW, THEY'RE IN THERE BEIN' COMMUNISTS BY PRAYIN' TO STALIN AN' HOTDOGGIN' WHILE WATCHIN' HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA. BOY, I WAS STEAMED. YOU DON'T DISRESPECT AN INSTITUTION LIKE US LIKE THAT. THAT AIN'T RIGHT. ANYHOW, A BUNCH OF GOOD ONTARIO KIDS RAN IN, TOOK THEIR SHOES OFF AN' ENTERED A STALL. THEY LEFT THE DOOR OPEN 'CAUSE THEY'RE GOOD ONTARIO KIDS. ANYHOW, THEY'RE SITTIN' IN THERE, DRINKIN' SOME MOLSONS, SINGIN' THE ANTHEM, AN' READIN' MY BOOK, "HOCKEY STORIES AN' STUFF" WHILE WATCHIN' HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA. BOY, I WAS SO PROUD. THOSE COMMIES WERE SO EMBARRASSED, THEY RAN OUT WITHOUT WASHIN' THEIR HANDS, AN' RAN BACK TO THE SOVIET UNION TO APOLOGIZE TO STALIN, EH.
THOSE GOOD ONTARIO KIDS REMINDED ME OF BOBBY ORR. GOD LOVE 'EM.