Members can quote this to find my profile, if anyone's still looking to critique or a "what do to"/"what not to do". I have been successful (2 messages/day all unsolicited, never sent a message first, 75 views/week), but my matches are starting to get really fucking weird so YMMV I guess.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Members can quote this to find my profile, if anyone's still looking to critique or a "what do to"/"what not to do". I have been successful (2 messages/day all unsolicited, never sent a message first, 75 views/week), but my matches are starting to get really fucking weird so YMMV I guess.
Yeah sounds....err, awful.
Atramental
Banned
I think your sexual orientation has a lot to do with your success.
Heterosexual males are not as lucky.
Mystic Theurge
Member
I don't know about that. I've only gotten one unsolicited message.
My destiny is to be the hunter. :/
That's probably because you (assuming here) look like a top, to be honest; don't take the lack of unsolicited messages as an insult in any way. It's the same as the male/female situation; gay guys are stuck in the same bullshit gender dynamics as everyone else.
You could have a 6-pack and still probably get less unsolicited messages as an average fem. So go get 'em >:3
Mystic Theurge
Member
I am. I've messaged quite a few people. Though less than half responded.
Could I PM you my profile?
By all means ^.^
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
I've only gotten two unsolicited messages, I won't say anything about the women who sent them to me, but I will say I haven't replied to them.
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
I just have the annoying thing of chicks not saying much after their 1st/2nd message. I know sometimes they do it out of politeness but it's more annoying not replying after you've sent an initial message
Anyway got a date this week, and got a couple of numbers on Friday..we we'll see what happens
Anyway got a date this week, and got a couple of numbers on Friday..we we'll see what happens
thetrin
Hail, peons, for I have come as ambassador from the great and bountiful Blueberry Butt Explosion
I have message quite a few people myself, and only one has ever responded...and it was the worst date I've ever been on.
I have a killer track record with OKC.
RPGCrazied
Member
No online dating site will help you if you are below average looking, like me! Tried them all pretty much.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
If you're going to post pictures, make sure it's either you alone dressed well, or at some party/socializing with whoever the fuck I don't care.
Don't post pictures of you sitting down at the computer.
Don't post pictures of you sitting down at the computer.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
I think it's actually worse when you send a message to someone, you see that they viewed your profile, and then you never get a reply.
That is my experience with OKC.
That's not an uncommon thing on those sites lol
Joel Was Right
Member
I think it's actually worse when you send a message to someone, you see that they viewed your profile, and then you never get a reply.
That is my experience with OKC.
Mine too. My messages are apparently interesting enough to warrant a look at my profile, but as soon as they look at my profile they lose interest
Women on OKCupid ლ(ಠ益ಠლ
Y U NO REPLYYes, male. Secret, I have none. 90 percent of the time I message first since that's often the rule of thumb for any dating website. OKCupid does ask you to send out five messages at the start, so you'll have a few gals doing just that but won't do as much afterward.
Make your profile fun, light and entertaining to read. Don't bore them with the details, excite them with humor since most girls will go to an attractive funny guy over an attractive guy they have nothing in common with, even with the latter is better looking.
You should often change your profile up, even on a daily basis since OKCupid will make you easier to find in search results if you are active. Change your profile pic up at least once a week, should a girl that overlooked you the first time find your second picture better. Everytime I change a photo or profile info, I'll often get 5-8 visitors in that day with 2-3 of them giving messages back (should I determine them interesting enough to chat with).
OKCupid has sent me that message "members think you are good looking" or whatever and that my search results would see effect. Received that 3-4 times last year.
Also, ladies love dogs. It's an easy ice-breaker if you have a picture of a dog. Don't know much about cat photos, but I am sure that would ease them into a common subject, too.
Lastly, don't post too many photos. Make it 5-8 photos at max that all differ, but don't go to 10. You don't want to show that you take the website too seriously.
Jason Raize '75 - '04 said:
There's a reason why the stereotype for Okcupid members is that they are looking to hook-up rather than 'date' and aimed at the younger demographics. Match and EHarmony is often said to be more for serious relationships. JDate and others are more niche.
lucario said:
Not to burst your bubble, but out of the 20 dates I have had, every girl I have asked have told me they don't message first and if they did, it was either to say something clever or because OKCupid told them to. There hasn't been one girl who hasn't been offended by OkCupid with terrible messages from dudes, so many of the gals I still talk to and go on dates with after our first date have quit the website after being run off the website by crude dudes. Heck, many of the profiles I've read have the ladies stating "Even if I visit your profile, that doesn't mean I am interested or will message first; I'm either too shy or I am not interested."
Oddly enough, even though I have it blocked so guys can't search for me, I have had a gay fella send me a message on behalf of his gal-friend who thought I was hot, but didn't want to join the website herself. The gal and I still go out on dates at least once a month when we find time for each other while her guy friend quit the website after finding his boyfriend. What I heard from him was that he messaged just as much, if not more, than heterosexual males and received messages all the time, too.
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
Haha it happens!
I msged a girl, she looked at my profile each day for about a week, replied to me, I replied back and never heard from her!
To be honest I really prefer meeting women whilst out, but it's not that "fish in a barrel" easy in bars and clubs
Shotgun Kiss
Member
I've been on OKC for about a year.
I've messaged a few girls, and had replies back from a few, but most simply decided to abruptly cease replying without explanation after a few exchanges, even before there was any talk about meeting up.
I did go on a date with one girl once, but nothing happened afterwards on account of me possibly moving soon, and her not wanting a long-distance relationship.
However, I recently hit it off with somebody else, and we're meeting up this week.
I've only once been contacted first, and I wasn't interested, so I didn't reply (I think that's less cold than the two alternatives; replying to say you're not interested, or replying and not saying you're not interested, thereby leading them on).
As has already been said, don't expect girls to make the first move, and certainly don't judge yourself based on that.
I've messaged a few girls, and had replies back from a few, but most simply decided to abruptly cease replying without explanation after a few exchanges, even before there was any talk about meeting up.
I did go on a date with one girl once, but nothing happened afterwards on account of me possibly moving soon, and her not wanting a long-distance relationship.
However, I recently hit it off with somebody else, and we're meeting up this week.
I've only once been contacted first, and I wasn't interested, so I didn't reply (I think that's less cold than the two alternatives; replying to say you're not interested, or replying and not saying you're not interested, thereby leading them on).
As has already been said, don't expect girls to make the first move, and certainly don't judge yourself based on that.
I mentioned that I had a Flaky McFlakepants on OKC earlier. Well she told me she was sick that day and sleeping, which is believable somewhat because there is a lot of stuff going around right now in the area. I still say it's about a 50% chance she's telling the truth. Regardless, I offered to reschedule, and she said yes. I also got her phone number this time. The worst that can happen really is she can flake again, so we'll see how this goes.
This generally rings true. I've been on OKC for a week, as well as my female friend. I have had ONE person message me first, unprovoked. She has had 120 people message her. Her number of views versus mine is also ridiculously stacked in roughly the same ratio.
I've been on my own for a good few months now and felt the urge to get back into online dating (I've had successes in the past) but I just can't being myself to go through the whole horrific ritual that a man has to go through on these sites. People will have said it before a hundred times, but it's so heavily weighted in the woman's favour that men effectively just line up for a lassie to select them as worthy of talking to.
Meeting a girl in a normal way is to much better, but it's been really difficult for me recently. Dilemma.
Meeting a girl in a normal way is to much better, but it's been really difficult for me recently. Dilemma.
Something I've learned is that you should just take it off the dating site as soon as possible. Just use it as a way to meet people you normally wouldn't get a chance to meet in real life. There's a couple of ways I've noted to do this.
1. Local people only. Don't bother with anything out of state or too ridiculously far away. >50 miles away is probably too far, unless you live in the middle of nowhere.
2. Get a phone number (or some other method of contact that's not the site) and set a date as soon as possible. In your message part of that should be asking them out on a date, whatever that may be.
3. Make said date as soon as possible.
These sites are best used as just a way to meet people, you proceed with everything else like normal after that.
Bowflex
The fact that anyone supports Hillary boggles my mind... I have tested between 130-160 on IQ tests
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/TristanMountjoy
I've had this profile up for about four months now.....been using it 'seriously' for the last month. I've had like a dozen or so dates since. All have gone well, minus one or two boring ones. Can't believe it took me so long to come around to this.
I've had this profile up for about four months now.....been using it 'seriously' for the last month. I've had like a dozen or so dates since. All have gone well, minus one or two boring ones. Can't believe it took me so long to come around to this.
I think you hit upon an issue there: I live in a rural area even though I commute to and spend my week days in the city. It leaves me in an awkward position where it can be a hassle arranging dates in the city when I rely on public transport yet there are a limited number of ways to meet girls in my local area.
Ok, so far 2 really cute, interesting girls viewed my profile, one from California, and the other one from Las Vegas. Problem is: I live in Mexico.
Then I search for local matches and Mexico City shows at least 4 o 5 profiles that interest me. Then I switch to my area and the place is a fucking empty wasteland. Fuck my life, lol.
Then I search for local matches and Mexico City shows at least 4 o 5 profiles that interest me. Then I switch to my area and the place is a fucking empty wasteland. Fuck my life, lol.
Atramental
Banned
Nice!
I'm so going to message this girl.
She only lives a couple of miles away from me and she's cute.
I'm so going to message this girl.
She only lives a couple of miles away from me and she's cute.
Nice!
I'm so going to message this girl.
She only lives a couple of miles away from me and she's cute.
Where are the damned pics?
Atramental
Banned
I rather not do that.
Nice!
I'm so going to message this girl.
She only lives a couple of miles away from me and she's cute.
I didn't think these things went up that high. Better check to see if you were adopted and had a twin.
Biguns alert.
Altered my profile today and actually spent some time with it. Got a potential date within 3 messages. Going to a Russian bath house. Hollaaaaaaaaa.
Joel Was Right
Member
Amazing. Definitely learnt a few things here
Atramental
Banned
This girl also likes Game of Thrones but I have yet to watch it.
Hmmm.
Hmmm.
Mystic Theurge
Member
Wait, how fast are you suppose to move?
How long are you guys waiting to ask people to meet in person?
How long are you guys waiting to ask people to meet in person?
Atramental
Banned
"I see you like Game of Thrones. I've been wanting to see that show for quite some time. "
Okay first message?
"Okay first message?
"I see you like Game of Thrones. I've been wanting to see that show for quite some time.
Okay first message?
Remove that silly "
"Atramental
Banned
Okay I got rid of it.Remove that silly "
And the message has been sent.
*crosses fingers*
Not long. A few messages.
Should have been like "I'd fill your weirwood tree with my sap."
Joel Was Right
Member
The most unattractive and immediate-turn off browsing the site are the women posing with a glass of wine or bottle of alcohol for their profile thumbnail. Being someone who doesn't drink, it says something about a person who finds it appropriate to want to identify themselves like that. I don't mean a photo where there is a glass on the table, but rather ones of close up where half the image is of the brand of the bottle next to their face.
Earlier though, I was talking to a girl with an amazing profile - and lol - somehow our first exchanges of messages were meme .jpgs. Was fun.
Earlier though, I was talking to a girl with an amazing profile - and lol - somehow our first exchanges of messages were meme .jpgs. Was fun.
ThisWreckage
Banned
This site is a wasteland if you live in a small town.
Debbie downer.
Trigger Warning
Member
.
Living in a small town is a dating wasteland. Move to a city if you want to meet women.
RPGCrazied
Member
Even worse when you are gay living in one. I'm like the only person on the site, lol
KO Traveling Hobo
Member
I think you need to loosen up a bit if you consider that a major turn-off. A few drinks should do the trick.
DR3AM
Dreams of a world where inflated review scores save studios
i signed up because of this thread and all the fat girls are messaging me for some reason. lol
once i edited my profile saying that i graduated from college, my inbox started to fill up. i also wrote that i would never message a girl first because they are probably getting bombarded from other people, good idea?
once i edited my profile saying that i graduated from college, my inbox started to fill up. i also wrote that i would never message a girl first because they are probably getting bombarded from other people, good idea?
KO Traveling Hobo
Member
It's generally a bad idea to say you want the women to message you first, but if you have to say it, then yours is probably the best way of writing it.
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