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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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stn
Member
I've replied to a few of them with, "Thanks for the interest but we live continents away. This isn't going to go anywhere". Then I'd get a reply saying they're just looking for friendship. Soooooo, they opened an OKC account and searched for some random dude a continent away JUST to be...friends? Online dating makes me lose brain cells sometimes.
kame-sennin
Member
Is the "relationship type" feature in the details section new? Is there a way to search for people by their choice on that feature? And dare I select non-monogamous?
csquared587
Member
I think I fucked up hardcore last night. Been talking to this woman a ton for about a month, took her out a few times and had a great time. At the movies last night she cuddled up with me, but dinner was a bit quiet and awkward. She still initiated a big hug when I left. When I got home she told me we might move too fast, and that she's confused about where our relationship is going because I never even asked her if I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I regret taking a serious approach to this question, but I basically said take things slow, but I'd like for our relationship to lead to that one day. This turned Into a two hour conversation about her ex and how she still has him on her mind, doesn't want to get hurt again or hurt someone else because she can't forget him.
Now, normally I'd probably just bail out here, but I like this woman quite a bit. Her ex lives across the world at this point, but I don't even know what to say to her today. I played it cool when she was talking about him, no negatives and just tried to keep the conversation positive. She has told me she was afraid to get into a new relationship until she met me, but I'm in no rush to make it some official relationship either. I regret even saying I'd like her to be my girlfriend one day, even if we do take it slow. We haven't talked today, but would you guys just never bring this conversation back up? She opened up big time and was super honest about it.
Now, normally I'd probably just bail out here, but I like this woman quite a bit. Her ex lives across the world at this point, but I don't even know what to say to her today. I played it cool when she was talking about him, no negatives and just tried to keep the conversation positive. She has told me she was afraid to get into a new relationship until she met me, but I'm in no rush to make it some official relationship either. I regret even saying I'd like her to be my girlfriend one day, even if we do take it slow. We haven't talked today, but would you guys just never bring this conversation back up? She opened up big time and was super honest about it.
How can you describe the exact same situation I am in (more or less).
My plan is to just take it cool and keep talking to her as friends. It may not lead anywhere, but I just enjoy talking and being with her and maybe eventually it'll lead to more.
csquared587
Member
Haha, well thats interesting. Im sure its a relatively common scenario, tons of people are still stuck on the ex I assume. We've been talking today, Im keeping it ligh and casual, not bring up that topic again unless she wants to.
kame-sennin
Member
These people should be banned from the site. It's a dating site and they're wasting everyone's time.
Yeah, and they're the worst. There's meetup.com for that just friends bullshit.
DoktorEvil
Banned
I had a date last night with a girl from Ok Cupid. Ended in the best way possible: make out session waiting for the train.
I'm in a great mood today thanks to last night. We vibed really well, considering we spent the date at a NBA game. She's a girly girl that loves sports
This has been my most recent success with OK Cupid, even with my crappy profile.
I'm in a great mood today thanks to last night. We vibed really well, considering we spent the date at a NBA game. She's a girly girl that loves sports
This has been my most recent success with OK Cupid, even with my crappy profile.
csquared587
Member
I had a date last night with a girl from Ok Cupid. Ended in the best way possible: make out session waiting for the train.
I'm in a great mood today thanks to last night. We vibed really well, considering we spent the date at a NBA game. She's a girly girl that loves sports
This has been my most recent success with OK Cupid, even with my crappy profile.
Nice, was this a first meeting? Ive been thinking about an NBA game, idk though. Did you guys talk a lot during it, or was it mainly watching the game and cheering?
DoktorEvil
Banned
It was a first meeting, so I picked a place with visibility and some safety if they were not who they said they were.
She's never been to a NBA game, so she was asking me a lot of questions and some cheering for the home team. Afterwards we grabbed a couple drinks at a pub to keep the night going, then while waiting for the train I pulled her in close and we kissed
If your date is a former athlete, like mine was, she'll like the game date. It gives you an out if things go wrong, and you won't be completely miserable if she's a bad date. My date was a competitive figure skater. I can't wait to see her stretch
Maddocks
Member
its also their out if they don't like a person who messages them with romantic intentions. If you ugly,"Oh I only want to meet friends here" Sad but true.
Sometimes people use it to meet a new friends because they just moved to a new city and a dating site has a lot of people and they will be more open to going out.
kame-sennin
Member
Internet messaging means never having to learn how to reject someone diplomatically. Don't like them? Don't respond.
Not my problem. They're wasting everyone else's time. I honestly wish okcupid would eliminate the 'new friends' option under "looking for". I want to be friends with the people I date, but that's really not hard to communicate in your profile.
Perspicacity
Banned
If they are using the site to meet people, are succeeding at doing that, and it is one of the intended purposes of the site then how are they wasting anybody's time?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Just search for people who are looking for dating, then. The "New Friends" and "Seeing Someone" options exist for a reason. Don't hate because people are winning the game.
So I know this is an OKCupid thread, don't mean to derail it but are there any other sites you guys have tried that might work? I've attempted Match and EHarmony but didn't really like those.
I'm on Zoosk now but everything about it seems fake. It's also really limited. I also don't want to connect anything to my Facebook.
I don't really mind OKCupid but I see way the hell too many people I know, work with, or have mutual friends where I don't feel great about them knowing...
I'm on Zoosk now but everything about it seems fake. It's also really limited. I also don't want to connect anything to my Facebook.
I don't really mind OKCupid but I see way the hell too many people I know, work with, or have mutual friends where I don't feel great about them knowing...
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Why? People are single. Don't be weird.
you... do realize if you see them, they're on there too right.
They won't walk up to you and be all "HAHA YOU USE ONLINE DATING". They use it too. for a reason. Nothing weird about online dating in this day and age.
Points taken, I'm actually more frightened they will see "YES I SMOKE MARIJUANA OCCASIONALLY" in the questions which would be a bad thing for these people to know just because you never know who they'll tell and I wouldn't want people when hiring me to have that in the back of their head. I don't think people would really give a shit but I tend to be a lot more cautious with that.
Maddocks
Member
Should just answer the questions privately. I have 1000 questions. Not one is public. It still keeps track, but no need to worry about it for work. Also you can just look at a profile and check the questions and see the % on the right side to see if you match up. You won't see the answer of course, but it will give you an idea.
wind_steaker
Member
Just do it. "So you fancy a drink to talk about xxx in person". You're both on there for the same reason hopefully, and if she's been talking to you for 3 days that's a good sign. If she says no, then you're done wasting your time.
peteykirch
Member
So I signed up again for eHarmony after trying it out like 5 years ago with absolutely no success. When I say no success, I mean like nearly 2 years of messaging people and never getting one date.
I took advantage of a deal to get 3 months for pretty much 5 bucks a month, and within 4 days of being back, I've been talking to about 5 different women.
I was told I was too young when I first signed up for EH (20), now at 25 I think it's given be a better selection pool. Plus it seems these women versus the ones on OKC actually want a legitimate long term relationship, and aren't looking for mind games and what not since they are paying to be here.
I'm not expecting much but hopefully I'll have a date or two lined up in a less than a week.
I took advantage of a deal to get 3 months for pretty much 5 bucks a month, and within 4 days of being back, I've been talking to about 5 different women.
I was told I was too young when I first signed up for EH (20), now at 25 I think it's given be a better selection pool. Plus it seems these women versus the ones on OKC actually want a legitimate long term relationship, and aren't looking for mind games and what not since they are paying to be here.
I'm not expecting much but hopefully I'll have a date or two lined up in a less than a week.
That's the biggest benefit of paying for an online dating site. People ain't fucking around there.
Prototype Viktor
Member
isn't eharmony matching still anti IR and obviously still anti lgbt? I mainly step away from it on principle
peteykirch
Member
They are, but I just figured to give it another shot.
I'm not holding out hope.
I disagree with everything that the President of Chik-Fil-A believes in, but damn does he make a tasty chicken.
True but the issue still remains that eHarmony matches paying members with non-paying members, and there's no way to tell who is who. The only hunch you have to go on is how thorough their profile is, and the amount of pictures they put up. I remember eHarmony said a while ago that they match paying vs non paying on the principle that the non paying member would be interested enough by their matches to subscribe to communicate.
peteykirch
Member
I tried Match the same time I originally did eHarmony and pretty much had the same result, that being zilch.
I only bothered with eHarmony because they sent me a coupon code for 3 months for 15 bucks. Just figured to take a shot in the dark.
You should sign up for Howaboutwe and wait for one of their free weekends (they pop up pretty often). It's a site where you propose a date and women can reply with interest or you can reply to posted dates.
It's a pretty streamlined experience. The profile is pretty basic so you're not sitting there writing about yourself trying to sound perfect and you already have an icebreaker baked in to the actual experience so there's less pressure. I used to use OKC but got pretty tired of how much "work" was involved. It becomes a bit of a chore after a while. All the questions and match% are fluffy bullcrap to me because none of that really matters for the most part.
Demon Lizardman
Banned
So I tried it out and met this cute black girl who is only a year below me. She has a great smile and a pretty face, I am thinking about going for it.
That really does sound like a good idea. Thanks!
I agree about OKC being a chore and all those questions being dumb. So many of the questions I could really go either way...dunno just seems weird and way too set.
By the way Zoosk fucking sucks. Just putting it out there. Basically a cash grab.
DoktorEvil
Banned
Gentlemen, I need advice.
After the date I previously mentioned on here (it ended with a mini makeout session) I went to schedule another date and we tentatively agreed on one the past Sunday.
Sunday Morning, I dont get a response. I went about my day without worry, until I received this message Monday morning:
"Mar 9, 2014 8:28pm
Hey I don't want you to think I blew you off, I left my phone in my friends car last night"
She had made plans to hang out with her bff that weekend.
I message back:
"Mar 10, 2014 8:23am
You missed the best pub crawl. I was a little upset, because I thought it was something I did.
Mar 10, 2014 8:31am
I thought I was a pretty kick ass date
I have yet to receive a response. I know she's signed on because I've viewed her profile on invisible. I sent her another message this afternoon:
Mar 11, 2014 2:35pm
Were you able to get your phone back or replace it?
Guys, should I just quit while I'm ahead? I swear that the date and everything went really well. I'm not sure whether to wait her out or just move onto the next one. What should I do?
After the date I previously mentioned on here (it ended with a mini makeout session) I went to schedule another date and we tentatively agreed on one the past Sunday.
Sunday Morning, I dont get a response. I went about my day without worry, until I received this message Monday morning:
"Mar 9, 2014 8:28pm
Hey I don't want you to think I blew you off, I left my phone in my friends car last night"
She had made plans to hang out with her bff that weekend.
I message back:
"Mar 10, 2014 8:23am
You missed the best pub crawl. I was a little upset, because I thought it was something I did.
Mar 10, 2014 8:31am
I thought I was a pretty kick ass date
I have yet to receive a response. I know she's signed on because I've viewed her profile on invisible. I sent her another message this afternoon:
Mar 11, 2014 2:35pm
Were you able to get your phone back or replace it?
Guys, should I just quit while I'm ahead? I swear that the date and everything went really well. I'm not sure whether to wait her out or just move onto the next one. What should I do?
stn
Member
Just do nothing. If she doesn't already know that you messaged her, she will soon. You were the last person to communicate, therefore the onus is on her to respond. Just chill out and see what happens, you sending more messages can only make things worse. Meanwhile, if you have doubts about her interest then slowly work on a plan B.
DoktorEvil
Banned
peteykirch
Member
I'm in an awkward spot.
I message this girl we really hit it off, but she wants to take it slow, and doesn't want to meet until she's ready. She said it could be a few days or a few weeks. I just hate investing weeks into getting to know someone and then finally meeting and there being absolutely no connection.
I message this girl we really hit it off, but she wants to take it slow, and doesn't want to meet until she's ready. She said it could be a few days or a few weeks. I just hate investing weeks into getting to know someone and then finally meeting and there being absolutely no connection.
stn
Member
If you don't like it...change it. Even if she doesn't change her mind she'll appreciate you taking charge. You should dictate the pace and be in control. I haven't had any girl online tell me that, but if she did I'd stop talking to her.
Its not because I'm some cold bastard, its just the nature of online dating means a girl can drop you on a whim. One time I was chatting with a girl back-and-forth for a MONTH before I found out she reallllllllly wasn't for me (I was overseas and was restricted to chatting). Could've found that out after one easy date.
Always move fast in online dating. She's the girl, she's the one with more options.
Its not because I'm some cold bastard, its just the nature of online dating means a girl can drop you on a whim. One time I was chatting with a girl back-and-forth for a MONTH before I found out she reallllllllly wasn't for me (I was overseas and was restricted to chatting). Could've found that out after one easy date.
Always move fast in online dating. She's the girl, she's the one with more options.
Pretty new to this whole thing. I've already got 4 messages back and forth with a woman I just contacted in the last 2 hours. Too soon to ask for a number? Also how should I do it? Ask for the number straight out or suggest meeting up and hope she gives it to me? I'd rather meetup sooner than later. Not really looking for pen pals.
DoktorEvil
Banned
She disabled her account... With that and her "losing" her phone, it's on to the next one.
Still, it's gonna bother me that this chick kissed me first and was vibing with me the whole date. I've never had mixed signals like this before. I was going to stop by her town, since she lives closeby to my town, but that's going out of the way for one date. I can't end this without some closure
stn
Member
No. Don't seek closure. You're better off learning how to deal with it on your own because it can happen all the time. Get used to it, dude. Moving on to the next one means not seeking closure from the last one.
You can think about why she doesn't like you, at the end of the day it doesn't matter. Hell, if you confront her she probably won't even tell the truth anyway. Most likely she got caught in the emotion of the moment and kissed you, then realized later that it was just her emotion acting. It happens frequently.
Like I said, stop caring and actually move on!
You can think about why she doesn't like you, at the end of the day it doesn't matter. Hell, if you confront her she probably won't even tell the truth anyway. Most likely she got caught in the emotion of the moment and kissed you, then realized later that it was just her emotion acting. It happens frequently.
Like I said, stop caring and actually move on!
peteykirch
Member
I'm a whopping 0-30 in the last 2 days sending out messages >_<
So I just signed up, one picture, didn't fill out my profile just yet except the sidebar stuff... I get a message saying she's in town; I text that number and another number texts me back. I'm in Toronto - first text went to a IL area code, the second one was CA.
Also to look her up on fwb101 .com but I can't find it googling for it so... this smells fishy.
Also to look her up on fwb101 .com but I can't find it googling for it so... this smells fishy.
kame-sennin
Member
I wouldn't say someone who is looking for friends on an online dating site is "winning the game". And I didn't say anything about the seeing someone option. A lot of those people are poly, so they are interested in romance.
stn
Member
lol.
Its a scam, bro. Any time a "girl" gives you her number immediately, its probably a scam. Not even the girls who message me only for sex give their number in their first message. Did "she" have a pic?
peteykirch
Member
Despite my degrees in English, I'm not gung-ho on proper grammar and what not, but how am I supposed to work with this?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
You can't, really. She's terrible at presenting herself.
peteykirch
Member
Is it too clingy and needy to respond back to this message with anything?
I was just going to say;
I don't know, should I just respond just acknowledging anything or just wait for her to message me again later tonight?
I was just going to say;
I don't know, should I just respond just acknowledging anything or just wait for her to message me again later tonight?
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