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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
abe_bly said:
The only thing it shows me that you wouldn't see yourself is that you reply selectively (yellow) to messages. A-list doesn't show what people's star rating is.
Click to expand...

Technically it does.

A-list can sort results by star-rating, so you can e.g. select "only 3star and more" and type in his username. If he shows up, he has at least 3 stars. then change it to "only 4star and more" and if he doesn't show up anymore, his star rating is somewhere between 3 and 4.
 
F

Five

Banned
Smiley90 said:
Technically it does.

A-list can sort results by star-rating, so you can e.g. select "only 3star and more" and type in his username. If he shows up, he has at least 3 stars. then change it to "only 4star and more" and if he doesn't show up anymore, his star rating is somewhere between 3 and 4.
Click to expand...

I thought "browse matches" and "find a user" were separate things. There's no place to type a name in browse matches, and no place to add filters in find a user. Furthermore, my search for "diabolik_" nets the same four users regardless of what the attraction filter is on, and one of those users is definitely not a 5 and one doesn't have a picture, so also probably isn't a 5.
 
stn

stn

Member
I'm "pretty" sure you get into 4-5 star territory once you get over 20 likes. Reaching that feat lets you search by attractiveness. Though I'm not a big fan of that system since some of the ratings people get are VERY misleading.
 
P

ph33nix

MWO
stn said:
I'm "pretty" sure you get into 4-5 star territory once you get over 20 likes. Reaching that feat lets you search by attractiveness. Though I'm not a big fan of that system since some of the ratings people get are VERY misleading.
Click to expand...

lol yeah

A lot of times I looked through profiles and was like "This is what America calls 5/5? Damn"
 
T

Thatonemoor

Member
Hey OKC gaf I deleted my account a while ago cause of frustration with it (Lack of interesting people in my area) but I'm thinking about getting it started again. Was wondering if there are any types you guys could tell me.
 
F

Five

Banned
Here's a "hypothetical" question for you. Suppose you're doing a casual evening browse for matches when one of the icons catches your eye. It's a picture of a prolific model you've seen on MyFreeCams.com. Visiting the page and reverse image searching the photos confirms it. The location seems about right, as do other details in the about section.

Suppose you wanted to send a message to this person, what would you say? How would you confirm that this person holding the account is actually the person in the pictures? What kind of a conversation would you strike up?
 
M

MogCakes

Member
abe_bly said:
Here's a "hypothetical" question for you. Suppose you're doing a casual evening browse for matches when one of the icons catches your eye. It's a picture of a prolific model you've seen on MyFreeCams.com. Visiting the page and reverse image searching the photos confirms it. The location seems about right, as do other details in the about section.

Suppose you wanted to send a message to this person, what would you say? How would you confirm that this person holding the account is actually the person in the pictures? What kind of a conversation would you strike up?
Click to expand...

Start with something in her profile.
 
M

MogCakes

Member
abe_bly said:
Her page is one of those "message me to get to know me" types. There's not really a lot to go off of. I'll think of something, though.
Click to expand...

If you mention that you saw her on myfreecams she could get a bit weirded out that one of her watchers is close by. Or it could become a talking point. It really depends on her.
 
F

Five

Banned
MogCakes said:
If you mention that you saw her on myfreecams she could get a bit weirded out that one of her watchers is close by. Or it could become a talking point. It really depends on her.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but here's how ass-backwards my thinking is. I've been tempted on more than one occasion to make a fake OKC profile and pose as a female. I've pretended to be females on the internet before, and for evidence I've either "borrowed" pictures from friends or gotten really good at photoshopping (me in a wig and friend's shirt and lots of PS). I wouldn't put it past somebody doing the same sort of thing to just borrow some internet chick's pictures. So, in my mind, the person holding the account could potentially be different from the person pictured, and that's something I'd want to get out of the way first.
 
stn

stn

Member
@abe_bly

Just message her with something funny and casual. Being slightly flirty also works. Don't mention the mycams thing (I assume the girls on there do softcore, right?).
 
M

meow

Member
I've recently just filled out an okc profile, I was wondering if someone could tell me what the quickmatch and who likes you pages tell you? I got a few emails when someone "rated me highly" but the who like you page (that I can't see) has more people on it.
 
M

MightyHealthy

Banned
Here's a tip: carry an actual conversation, be somewhat insightful, and you have a very good chance at catching someone's eye.

I've come to find that 9/10 responses women receive are from thirsty boneheads.
 
V

vonStirlitz

Unconfirmed Member
I joined OKC about a week ago, after coming out of a marriage. I didn't know what to expect, and as a guy in his late 30s, thought I might not be hot property. However, the results have been amazing so far.

Managed to have some fantastic intelligent exchanges. Also had some interest and responses from the strangest quarters, whether career women at my age, an intense BDSM woman in her 20s, a polyamorous cultured woman in her 40s, or a DJ and personal trainer in her early 20s. The last, I like, but the age difference is concerning.

Of course, you get random messages from stranger people, but easy to avoid. I suspect women have a much tougher time of it as well, to be honest.

After years of being off the market, and starting to think the world is fairly uninspiring, it has turned out to be an eye-opening and refreshing. Really good exposure to people with different interests and backgrounds.
 
RedAssedApe

RedAssedApe

Banned
meow said:
I've recently just filled out an okc profile, I was wondering if someone could tell me what the quickmatch and who likes you pages tell you? I got a few emails when someone "rated me highly" but the who like you page (that I can't see) has more people on it.
Click to expand...

About Who Likes You
These people rated you highly or liked you in the OkCupid app.
 
RedAssedApe

RedAssedApe

Banned
Got the YOU ARE HOT e-mail:

We just detected that you're now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver. Did you get a new haircut or something?
Well, it's working!

To celebrate, we've adjusted your OkCupid experience:

You'll see more attractive people in your match results.

This won't affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But we'll recommend more attractive people to you. You'll also appear more often to other attractive people.

Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don't let this go to your head.
Click to expand...

Matches are the same from before. I'm in Los Angeles...still not attractive girls for the most part. I think OKC lied to me :\
 
S

SirRyanOfSmeg

Member
Signed up to this recently and messaged a few girls. I've gotten replies but after my second message they seem to lose interest. I must be doing something wrong haha. :(

I always ask a question as I don't know any better way to start a conversation; usually one that relates to something in their profile. For example if they are a student of whatever I'd message them about that. In their reply back they answer the question, nothing else. In my second message I comment on their answer, adding wit if possible. I try to add detail, I include my own experiences that relate to the subject to give them something to work with. Not too much now, just a few extra sentences. They reply with a dull answer again, as if they were taking a test. I have to work with barely any content and pull questions out of my arse to keep the conversation going. How do I get out of this spiral GAF?

If they were interested then surely they would put more thought into their replies? If not, why do they bother to respond? Even women that have given me high ratings do this. I figure I must be fucking something up as this has happened multiple times. Unless this is just how online dating works!

henhowc said:
Got the YOU ARE HOT e-mail:



Matches are the same from before. I'm in Los Angeles...still not attractive girls for the most part. I think OKC lied to me :\
Click to expand...

I got this too, when I hadn't signed in for a few days. They probably send it to everyone :(
 
T

TangerineCloud

Banned
Okay, I've messaged this girl twice and I'd like to get some opinions on something she said to me.

(FYI she liked my profile first, which was what prompted me to message her)

Basically she said she already liked me because I don't immediately come off as a jerk or an egotistical maniac like a lot of the other guys on the site (her words, not mine). I respond with something along the lines of "Haha, yeah between all of the negs and the dick pics, I imagine finding people on here can be pretty messy." Then she responds and says, "Honestly, I'm not on here that much anymore. I don't really date."

I'm pretty sure I already know the answer, but I wanted to ask you guys just to be sure: is this a sign that she's not into me? I'm a bit confused since she initially showed interest and indicated on her profile that she's looking for me long-term dating. Also, she told me she's interested in seeing my artwork (we're both "artists", which also came up in the messages) so it doesn't seem like she's cutting off communication yet.

Sorry if this is a dumb question. I'm new to dating and am terrible at social interaction in general.
 
E

EatinOlives

Member
Necrovex said:
So, did the Quiver mechanic disappear for anyone else?
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's definitely gone. Weird. Never noticed that until you pointed it out.

Anyways, looks like I'm back on the horse myself. Girl I was "dating" displayed zero affection in the most bizarre ways. This last time she invited me to her place, only to spend nearly the entire time silenced on her laptop, and offered me to sit in a single-seat lounge chair while she went and sat on the couch on the other side of the room. And she was the one who suggested we hang out at her place. She's new at this obviously but her body language and actions make it pretty clear she's got no real interest.
 
Y

y2dvd

Member
I messed around with the OKC phone app a bit this weekend and this is what I gathered: the star system and the like system do not cross at all.

As a non A-listed member, I see that I get a lot of likes, but never from whom, though the app does sometime pop up with one user that did. I know that if you like each other, it will notify you that it’s a match. I decided to test something out. One of the users that did pop up that they liked me appeared in the Matches results. I gave them a 5 star and expected to get a notification of a match, but I never got one. I eventually ran into that user again but in the Locals tab, liked them and got notification of a match.

So the Locals tab uses this Like system and the Matches/Quickmatches tab uses a star system. If two people uses the Local and Likes each other, you’ll receive notification of a Match. If you use the Like and they gave you 4-5 stars in the Matches/Quickmatches or vice-versa, you don’t get notification of a match. I’m not sure what happens if both uses Matches/Quickmatches and gives each other 4-5 stars though.

I was giving 4-5 stars and would hide them and just waited to receive a match notification to go from there. Now after I gathered the above, I think it’s better to just message the person you’re interested in as the same person that liked you maybe not have bothered with the star system and thus never getting a notification.
 
D

Demon Lizardman

Banned
Alright, thanks!

Here's a pic of my profile btw
Ok_Cupid_Wesmaster_21_M_Great_Falls_Virg.png
 
stn

stn

Member
Suggestions...

1. Put a pic where you smile
2. Take video games out of your profile
3. Take out the "I go on OKC" as a private thing. Just make up something funny and flirty.
4. Change your "Message me if" section. Too negative. Again, put something funny.
5. Take out the fact that you're looking for casual sex. Women want it too but they wanted to be flirted with and seduced after they've seen that you're a normal guy.
 
D

Demon Lizardman

Banned
Before I start messaging, how is this for messaging a girl?

Hi, I currently live in Florida for college right now and I am going back to Virginia soon in Great Falls.

I am a conceptual designer for video games and plan on working in the industry when I graduate and I loved just to draw and do art in general.

I love horror, sci fi, and basically any kind of films as long as it's good.

Also, I do want to know more about you
Click to expand...
 
K

kai3345

Banned
Demon Lizardman said:
Before I start messaging, how is this for messaging a girl?
Click to expand...

i typically ask them some fun ice-breaker questions and then take the conversation from there. a couple good conversation starters ive stolen from this thread have been "Pizza or Sushi?" or "A trip to the moon or a deep sea adventure?" Girls love stuff like that, especially the second one. Typically we discuss/joke about our reasoning for our answers for a message or two and then I properly introduce myself and then go about inquiring about her interests and stuff.

If they give one word answers, they aren't worth your time.
 
D

Demon Lizardman

Banned
kai3345 said:
i typically ask them some fun ice-breaker questions and then take the conversation from there. a couple good conversation starters ive stolen from this thread have been "Pizza or Sushi?" or "A trip to the moon or a deep sea adventure?" Girls love stuff like that, especially the second one. Typically we discuss/joke about our reasoning for our answers for a message or two and then I properly introduce myself and then go about inquiring about her interests and stuff.

If they give one word answers, they aren't worth your time.
Click to expand...

So I should just ask them simple and fun questions? Not explain who I am?
 
K

kai3345

Banned
Demon Lizardman said:
So I should just ask them simple and fun questions? Not explain who I am?
Click to expand...
No. that's what your profile is for.

For a video project I had to do, I had to make a fake female OKC profile. We filmed for less than an hour and by the time we were done and her inbox was already almost halfway full of countless dudes, with pretty much all of them just saying "Sup, Hi," and a bunch of other generic stuff.

With as many messages as that fake profile profile got, it made me doubt if any girl reads past the first sentence blurb that you can see before opening the message. These short, sweet and creative messages help you catch her attention and stand out from the countless generic messages she's constantly receiving. If she's interested, she'll check out your profile and respond back.

edit - to clarify. yes, talk about yourself and your interests and stuff, but do it after you've broken the ice with one of these fun questions.
 
Y

y2dvd

Member
Demon Lizardman said:
Alright so I should get rid of the "Hi" as well?
Click to expand...

Most profiles will tell you straight up they will ignore simple answers as "Hi!" or "How are you doing?" I usually get a response if I ask or comment on something in their profile like a tv show or a band. I like the "Pizza or sushi?" opener and may try that lol.
 
Maddocks

Maddocks

Member
dat wrinkle. It really looked like you just opened up a fresh package of shirts and tossed it on.

I can say the profile looks pretty good, only change I would make would be to your pictures taking place outside.
 
M

Manarola

Banned
Maddocks said:
dat wrinkle. It really looked like you just opened up a fresh package of shirts and tossed it on.

I can say the profile looks pretty good, only change I would make would be to your pictures taking place outside.
Click to expand...

Better yet, have pictures of you doing fun things or being in cool places. A picture of you in your backyard isn't much more compelling than being inside your house. I'm not outgoing at all but I always use pics I've had taken on vacation or those rare times I go out.

Regardless, you're 6'2 and white, you'll have a lot of success on OKC (at least in major cities you would, I dunno about VA).
 
C

Caladrius

Member
So is there any kind of etiquette for messaging folks?

Some promising suitors have taken a look at my profile, but none of them have messaged me and I'm a bit afraid to do so myself. I figure if they didn't message me they may not have been interested enough.
 
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