Big Papa Husker
Member
10-15 messages each or 10-15 back and forths?
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Back and forth.
Would anyone mind giving my profile a once over? Just reactivated it after a month break, and I'm looking to restart. Should be easier now that I'm not watching a child 4-5 nights a week and all my family is out of the hospital or prison...it's been a long May...
Standard "Quote to see it" operation.
Standard "Quote to see it" operation.
Gray Matter
Member
Same here, the people controlling the bots can drop dead for all I care.
I think the best way to have a profile is to make yourself remain mysterious/funny/interesting in as few lines as possible.
Everyone loves music, it's obvious you run.
What about - 'Level 100 Canadian Rogue' for your bio? (I know the night elf rogue is a reference)
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I love that your last picture makes it look like you're starring in the sequel to Falling Down.
But yeah, that seems like a decent profile.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Well, if we're sharing, thoughts on mine? Quote and reveal of course:
Judge me away, you sexy people.
Judge me away, you sexy people.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Who... the fuck does that?
I went on a date with a lady tonight. She's cute in her pictures, but seeing her in person...she's fucking gorgeous. I was literally stunned. She's just as if not more nerdy than me. We got along instantly. Night went on like we'd known each other forever. Was just supposed to be a coffee meet, turned into dinner and a late night at IHOP. Wants to see me again soon. WTF just happened? Is this real life? Am I dreaming
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Don't question yourself. Run with it.
OK, this seems like a no-brainer, but I'd appreciate your input on the situation. Met a girl online, though not through the usual dating channels. I met her on Twitter. We hit it off immediately, swapped numbers that same night, and we've been talking every night since. Great. The other night, we got talking about exes. Touchy subject. I really only have two. She has eleven. The number doesn't bother me.
What does bother me is that she is still 'really close friends' with one of them. She is always talking about him. Recently, he put a topless photo on Twitter and she told me she was worried about what would happen regarding all the attention he'll get. I told her it's not really her concern. She insists nothing is going on, that she has told him they can only be friends, but I don't know. There's more to it, I reckon. What do you think?
What does bother me is that she is still 'really close friends' with one of them. She is always talking about him. Recently, he put a topless photo on Twitter and she told me she was worried about what would happen regarding all the attention he'll get. I told her it's not really her concern. She insists nothing is going on, that she has told him they can only be friends, but I don't know. There's more to it, I reckon. What do you think?
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Being friends with an ex isn't necessarily a bad thing. The constant talking about him though, that gives me pause. My best friend is really good friends with most of his exes. One of them is even one of his best friends.
Having said that, he doesn't bring them up on dates.
I'm not saying being friends with an ex is a bad thing. I'm still friends with one of my exes, but not to this degree. Like, we were talking on Skype last night and she randomly decided to show me a drawing he did for her, along with a sickly sweet love note. Like, the fuck she hoping to achieve by doing that? I don't fucking get it.
D
Deleted member 529084
Unconfirmed Member
My GF has one rule with exes.."If you slept with them they must be banished"
She basically says it's a door that's not completely closed once you've slept with that person.
How far do you live from her and is there any chance you'd meet? I've noticed with some women online they like to create relationships with men they can tell all their problems to.
If you think it's going to go further I'd just make some jokes about her history and then ignore it.
I'm going to a first date in a few hours and I've suddenly started feeling nervous, talked on the phone with her last night and it went great so hoping my nerves settle when we meet.
Yeah that's really weird. Even if there's nothing going on, sounds like she still has feeling for him, or stalks him or something. Probably want to drop that. Or you could try saying something to her ("You sure do talk about this guy a lot"), but the likelihood is that she'll just get defensive.
D
Deleted member 529084
Unconfirmed Member
This is sooooo true.
I actually enjoy the company of women over men so I welcome it.
Being a single dad widower pretty much turned me into a Dr. Phil. The stories..
I did mention it to her this morning. The first thing she did when answering this morning was tell me about his oh so funny antics last night. I sighed and she asked what was wrong. I told her, in a very matter-of-fact tone, that at least 70% of the stuff she tells me is about him. She then told me if I had a problem wuth her talking about her ex all the time, I should've said something. I just assumed it was common knowledge that such things aren't discussed in such detail at such great lengths.
Interestingly enough, I do work on a lot of defense contracts...and I do think fast food should look like the pictures....
More pictures! I always suggest a minimum of three. Helps show that your looks weren't a fluke in one single pic. Also try to get pics that show something about yourself...what you like to do (running, biking, forging swords)...or maybe where you like to go. Yes, I know you're probably not someone big into taking photos...no one here is.
Have something in the Job field.
I don't think anyone ever has a good answer for the "typical friday night". Seemingly everyone likes hanging out with friends or a night at home. I leave it blank.
How can you not live without neckties and have no picture of you in a necktie?
In your "Favorites" section, I'd cut down on the -ly words. In TV you use mostly, actually, recently, probably...experiment with removing or replacing words to enhance readability.
Revamp the entire "you should message me if" section. Saving you from your boredom makes you sound like a boring person. The "seemed like you wouldn't want to talk to me" part sends out "I have low self esteem" vibes.
The friday night section, like most of the other sections, exists solely to be used to say something witty or different from the norm. Anyone can say they spend it out with friends/at home/sleeping etc. To be worth reading it has to say something about 'you' as the person. Do you mostly like to eat out when you go out? Clubs? D&D gatherings? Gaming? Browsing the GAF dating age thread? This is a good place to list stuff you enjoy doing or are passionate about.
Another approach is to do it tongue in cheek. "On a typical Friday night I am..."
"In a different dimension"
"being spirited away"
"At Hogwartz"
"walking into Mordor"
Or you can be flirtatious/romantic/hipster.
"Taking you to Rafain"
"Getting to know you over a glass of champagne"
"Sitting in a Jazz lounge listening to Miles Davis"
etc etc.
You can go the frank route like I did and just say 'sleeping' or something equally tame, and then follow up with something else you enjoy doing on Fridays or on special Fridays.
I typed way too much on this.
Another approach is to do it tongue in cheek. "On a typical Friday night I am..."
"In a different dimension"
"being spirited away"
"At Hogwartz"
"walking into Mordor"
Or you can be flirtatious/romantic/hipster.
"Taking you to Rafain"
"Getting to know you over a glass of champagne"
"Sitting in a Jazz lounge listening to Miles Davis"
etc etc.
You can go the frank route like I did and just say 'sleeping' or something equally tame, and then follow up with something else you enjoy doing on Fridays or on special Fridays.
I typed way too much on this.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
That's... weird.
Thanks dude. Will make the edits.
I'll be suiting up this weekend, so I'll probably snap a photo. Got a photo of me at archery, lol. Then again, I'm not using OKC for dating, so I didn't put a ton of care into it.
I don't think I'm boring or have low self esteem... unless I do.
Awkward.
Anyway, did some quick edits.
Good ideas.
BIGWORM
Member
Went on date last night and saw Jurassic World. Movie was ok, date was pretty good. Semi-awkward kiss at the end, says she wasn't expecting, but was getting a little rubby/grabby afterwards, so that pretty much corroborates that. Got another date with a different girl Thursday, but for today...headed to Microsoft's ExpertZone Party at E3. =3
I know, right? I really don't know what to do. It's an extremely complicated situation as it is (distance) but this obssession with her ex makes it even more complex. I mean, I might just be looking too much into it. She might not still be into her at all. I might just be being paranoid for no reason whatsoever. I just know I really do like her.
:/
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Have the two of you even met? I think you're too invested in her. Dial the contact back a bit and try to steer conversations away from him.
Not yet. We've known each for a while but, like I said, the distance creates a problem. I know GAF has its fair share of people who were or are in long-distance relationships, and even know of a couple who met through GAF itself, and lived an entire ocean apart. Laugh all you want, but that's the situation I'm in.
stn
Member
Here's a weird one for you guys.
Join dating site a year ago, message girl. Girl takes one month to respond, apologizes profusely. I forgot about her by that point, it kind of came out of nowhere. I tend to be a bit lenient when it comes to online dating because I've been guilty of thinking I replied to a message when I did not. I reply. Two days pass and no reply, I send a final message saying I'm bailing out and that its been fun.
Fast forward to today, I've joined a new dating site. Who do I catch viewing my profile? Yeah. I didn't even bother clicking on her profile but it was certainly a "WTF?" moment. Some people are so damn weird and/or indecisive.
Join dating site a year ago, message girl. Girl takes one month to respond, apologizes profusely. I forgot about her by that point, it kind of came out of nowhere. I tend to be a bit lenient when it comes to online dating because I've been guilty of thinking I replied to a message when I did not. I reply. Two days pass and no reply, I send a final message saying I'm bailing out and that its been fun.
Fast forward to today, I've joined a new dating site. Who do I catch viewing my profile? Yeah. I didn't even bother clicking on her profile but it was certainly a "WTF?" moment. Some people are so damn weird and/or indecisive.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
So I decided to keep talking to this girl, things seem a little off. She sent me a weird message that seemed like the writing in some old cheap porno magazine, and then today it's culminated in what you'll find in an email tag below.
I don't want to post that openly since it was emailed to me, I assume with some expectation of discretion. This is not out of line with what her profile had in it, but I do wonder if it's on the up and up. Somehow I imagine setting up a time to meet with this person and being mugged. Maybe that's just me being paranoid though.
I don't want to post that openly since it was emailed to me, I assume with some expectation of discretion. This is not out of line with what her profile had in it, but I do wonder if it's on the up and up. Somehow I imagine setting up a time to meet with this person and being mugged. Maybe that's just me being paranoid though.
If there's smoke there's fire. This sort of setup is the kind of thing you'd see in porn, and AT BEST in reality the experience will not be the fantasy they are weaving to you. More than likely it is a scam or a data collection ploy. Either way she's taken and her dude sounds shady as fuck. Stay away.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
Well...having maybe been in a situation like this years ago, I might be able to shed some light. It isn't completely out of the realm of possibility that this isn't a scam. This is kind of standard, but usually is combined with meeting at a public place like a restaurant. If that isn't what you are looking for, then bail. Obviously you could be getting set up for a mugging, but you could be getting set up for a mugging whenever you meet someone online.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Sounds like you've walked into a terrible porno flick.
megamerican
Member
The profile is well written, witty without trying too hard to be witty. Probably want to get some more pics up there.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Yeah, pretty solid there. Personality definitely shines through. I still don't get the word necktie. It is a tie. Goddamn USA.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
You guys ever come across a profile that just creeps you the hell out? Like, it just sounds super distressing and depressing and stuff?
I should have known better than to click a profile that has "scab" in the username.
I mean, it's likely fake, but still, pretty depressing.
I should have known better than to click a profile that has "scab" in the username.
I mean, it's likely fake, but still, pretty depressing.
megamerican
Member
I think the photo of you at the Disney park is the most natural / flattering.
Some women in your age group might not go for the bits about Nerf wars, or bringing Legos to work.
All things considered it looks good.
Adjusted accordingly re: Nerf and Lego. Thanks for the feedback!
Switched out the last pic of me with one of me and my nieces. It's a little blurry, but hopefully I can score some "He's good with kids" points. All the other pics I have are from my Disney trip or at the arcade for my nephew's birthday. If Nerf and Lego in text don't play well, can't imagine a giant orange gun being better.
Going skydiving the weekend of the 28th. Would a pic of that be too much?
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
That would be baller as fuck, dude.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I dunno, just pull your dick out or something.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Why didn't you just ask how you gave off a friend vibe?
Like, if the date's tanking anyway, and she says that to you, you may as well ask for a critique so that you know what these girls are talking about. What have you got to lose?
Heck, maybe she'd appreciate you asking as it's a sign of self-improvement. It's not like you're planning to see her again.
First off, remember a person is not their profile. All the stuff they say online is just an indication of who they are...the real them could be completely different. There was a Black Mirror episode about this, as I recall.
Secondly, a defeatist attitude gets you nowhere. Try to reflect on the date and think about stuff you did or didn't do that weakened your game. Did you touch her at all? Did she you? Did the date take place somewhere that'd allow for that kind of thing without being hella-awkward?
And don't beat yourself up too much until you know you've been friendzoned. Even if you have, remember girls tend to have girl friends.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Yeah.
Give us a blow-by-blow of what went down. How did you get to the point where she said you gave her a friend vibe?