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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Salamando said:
First off, remember a person is not their profile. All the stuff they say online is just an indication of who they are...the real them could be completely different. There was a Black Mirror episode about this, as I recall.

Secondly, a defeatist attitude gets you nowhere. Try to reflect on the date and think about stuff you did or didn't do that weakened your game. Did you touch her at all? Did she you? Did the date take place somewhere that'd allow for that kind of thing without being hella-awkward?

And don't beat yourself up too much until you know you've been friendzoned. Even if you have, remember girls tend to have girl friends.
Click to expand...

tom1e1i2y.gif
 
L

Lulubop

Member
I swear befre the last 3 months my success rate was very high, but it just hasnt been the same latelt especially. I don't think i chnaged really. I guess my flirt game can use work but idk. Id feel like a creep. Friend vibes damn. About to retire and just watch porno forever

Im just a washed up fraud
 
Rest

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
MogCakes said:
If there's smoke there's fire. This sort of setup is the kind of thing you'd see in porn, and AT BEST in reality the experience will not be the fantasy they are weaving to you. More than likely it is a scam or a data collection ploy. Either way she's taken and her dude sounds shady as fuck. Stay away.
Click to expand...
What's described isn't really a fantasy of mine. The weirdness of the messages I've gotten has me curious about these people though.

dskillzhtown said:
Well...having maybe been in a situation like this years ago, I might be able to shed some light. It isn't completely out of the realm of possibility that this isn't a scam. This is kind of standard, but usually is combined with meeting at a public place like a restaurant. If that isn't what you are looking for, then bail. Obviously you could be getting set up for a mugging, but you could be getting set up for a mugging whenever you meet someone online.
Click to expand...

The person that the user claims they are actually exists, and does some public stuff. I'm going to see if I can find any contacts and see if they can tell me if her email has been compromised. From there... I'm not sure. I'm not really the fuck a stranger type, nor am I particularly interested in helping some guy be a long distance cuckold.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Lulubop said:
I swear befre the last 3 months my success rate was very high, but it just hasnt been the same latelt especially. I don't think i chnaged really. I guess my flirt game can use work but idk. Id feel like a creep. Friend vibes damn. About to retire and just watch porno forever

Im just a washed up fraud
Click to expand...

Damn, bro. You're down in the dumps.

Why do you feel like a creep?
 
L

Lulubop

Member
Met up at this place in Astoria queens. Her profile was she seeemed hyper sexual but was looking for more than a 1 night thing. Ok whatever. Just thought if she thought I was attractive id be in there. Not that that meant i was gonna bring some b game shit. And it was just normal. Talked about shit. Tried to get to know her. Not really flirty. I mean I'm usually not nor do i really how to be without feeling like a creepo. Or at least not unless she sorta flirting first. Usually alcohol helps but she was a non drinker. Im just salty as fuck and been just on a losing streak.
 
Gray Matter

Gray Matter

Member
Lulubop said:
Met up at this place in Astoria queens. Her profile was she seeemed hyper sexual but was looking for more than a 1 night thing. Ok whatever. Just thought if she thought I was attractive id be in there. Not that that meant i was gonna bring some b game shit. And it was just normal. Talked about shit. Tried to get to know her. Not really flirty. I mean I'm usually not nor do i really how to be without feeling like a creepo. Or at least not unless she sorta flirting first. Usually alcohol helps but she was a non drinker. Im just salty as fuck and been just on a losing streak.
Click to expand...

Maybe a small break to reflect can help?
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Lulubop said:
Met up at this place in Astoria queens. Her profile was she seeemed hyper sexual but was looking for more than a 1 night thing. Ok whatever. Just thought if she thought I was attractive id be in there. Not that that meant i was gonna bring some b game shit. And it was just normal. Talked about shit. Tried to get to know her. Not really flirty. I mean I'm usually not nor do i really how to be without feeling like a creepo. Or at least not unless she sorta flirting first. Usually alcohol helps but she was a non drinker. Im just salty as fuck and been just on a losing streak.
Click to expand...

Did you shake her hand?
 
L

Lulubop

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Hm. What'd you guys talk about? How close did you guys sit together?
Click to expand...

Just regular stuff. to the right of me. talk about porn breifly but she seemed to wanna change the subject. was like id like to see you again she was like youre very attractive but im just getting a friend vibe. pretty sure cause I was Ugo. i really have no confidence going on another date
 
megamerican

megamerican

Member
Salamando said:
Adjusted accordingly re: Nerf and Lego. Thanks for the feedback!

Switched out the last pic of me with one of me and my nieces. It's a little blurry, but hopefully I can score some "He's good with kids" points. All the other pics I have are from my Disney trip or at the arcade for my nephew's birthday. If Nerf and Lego in text don't play well, can't imagine a giant orange gun being better.

Going skydiving the weekend of the 28th. Would a pic of that be too much?
Click to expand...

Actually it would be perfect. It shows off an adventurous side to your personality, and works as a conversation piece / starter.

Lulubop said:
Just regular stuff. to the right of me. talk about porn breifly but she seemed to wanna change the subject. was like id like to see you again she was like youre very attractive but im just getting a friend vibe. pretty sure cause I was Ugo. i really have no confidence going on another date
Click to expand...

I was getting the friend thing, usually around date three. A lot of that was on me not making moves when I was new to online dating. I wasn't particularly adept at flirting, so I just started to straight up compliment their appearance. I definitely saw a lot more action just by doing that. I wasn't flowery or cheesey about it, I just said more or less what I was thinking.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Lulubop said:
Just regular stuff. to the right of me. talk about porn breifly but she seemed to wanna change the subject. was like id like to see you again she was like youre very attractive but im just getting a friend vibe. pretty sure cause I was Ugo. i really have no confidence going on another date
Click to expand...

I doubt it was cause you may or may not be ugo.

Might just not have the requisite chemistry.
 
A

AcridMeat

Banned
Women are confusing. Humans in general are, but women especially.

Anyway, heading back to to the Bay Area tomorrow, a couple of gals want to meet up when I'm back :D
 
E

electricshake

Member
Lulubop said:
Just regular stuff. to the right of me. talk about porn breifly but she seemed to wanna change the subject. was like id like to see you again she was like youre very attractive but im just getting a friend vibe. pretty sure cause I was Ugo. i really have no confidence going on another date
Click to expand...

From what I remember of your pics you are defo not ugo!
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Lulubop, maybe it is best to take a little break, nothing wrong with that.

Rest, if you're not interested in the dom/sub thing they have going on, and aren't really the type to bone strangers, you probably shouldn't meet up with them?
 
L

Lone_Prodigy

Member
Lulubop said:
Just regular stuff. to the right of me. talk about porn breifly but she seemed to wanna change the subject. was like id like to see you again she was like youre very attractive but im just getting a friend vibe. pretty sure cause I was Ugo. i really have no confidence going on another date
Click to expand...

I think you're just burnt out. I see you post on here pretty regularly about all the dates you're going on. When you're meeting so many girls so often (and striking out) you start to get frustrated and pessimistic, which bleeds into your future dates. If girls pick up on that you're just going to go through the same cycle of rejection and disappointment again.

Like others have said, take a break and do some other things. You're in NYC: there will be plenty more girls around when you get back.
 
L

Lulubop

Member
Ok so yesterday I was pretty drunk and extremely salty. They date went as described, I said I'd like to see here again and she was like you're really attractive but I'm getting a friendship vibe. Said I wasn't sexy, not sure what that means tho. I will say I can myself being a bore although I'm at least funny. I don't know sometime I'm good at flirting, sometimes I'm not. I definitely need to feed off the other person. If they're not giving me something to work with from the start it's probably not gonna happen. I won't lie I'm pretty discouraged now. The last date I went on before this was sorta similar and that was a second date.
 
K

keffri

Member
How would you have handled this?

Disclaimer: I'm just using this for fun really so I didn't want to commit to anything. I would have been open to hanging out but completely fine with being ignored if that happens to be the case. I suppose I kinda rushed into it but it is what it is.

7VvQ1lj.png
cVH5YM0.png
zIQVIkP.png


New to this whole online scene hah.

EDIT: Cause I was bored.

c6UoboG.jpg
 
G

gaiages

Banned
You need to black those pics out bruh (I can't really make anything out myself, but just in case)

I... uh, don't think you handled anything wrong? If you're just looking to hook up, I think you handled yourself well. If she wants a hookup she'll probably contact you :3

And lol at that second exchange
 
Rest

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
So I've prodded this thing forward a bit more, just got a message from the guy. The tone of his writing seems really cheerful while he's saying weird stuff. Curiosity is turning a bit to disgust, I'm now considering halting anything else.
 
stn

stn

Member
Yeah, she wants a hookup. Straight to the "you're hot" talk followed by "I'll be there this weekend." My only advice is don't be slow about this, just make the plan without too much small-talk.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
Lulubop said:
Ok so yesterday I was pretty drunk and extremely salty. They date went as described, I said I'd like to see here again and she was like you're really attractive but I'm getting a friendship vibe. Said I wasn't sexy, not sure what that means tho. I will say I can myself being a bore although I'm at least funny. I don't know sometime I'm good at flirting, sometimes I'm not. I definitely need to feed off the other person. If they're not giving me something to work with from the start it's probably not gonna happen. I won't lie I'm pretty discouraged now. The last date I went on before this was sorta similar and that was a second date.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I know exactly how you're feeling, especially about getting something to work with. I play off people too, since I'm pretty terrible at talking about myself. In any case, the people telling you to take a break aren't wrong at all, but there's also something for getting out of a rut too. And of course you're sometimes good at flirting and sometimes not: everyone responds differently and has their own triggers.
 
F

freshair

Member
keffri said:
How would you have handled this?

I suppose I kinda rushed into it but it is what it is.
Click to expand...

Pretty good. Only change I would've made, and that's if you're looking to hookup, is your closing line.

"you should come over when you're bored of your friend. I have netflix and pizza".

Be a more proactive in giving her a reason to see you. She's dropping hints like mad tho
 
K

keffri

Member
freshair said:
Pretty good. Only change I would've made, and that's if you're looking to hookup, is your closing line.

"you should come over when you're bored of your friend. I have netflix and pizza".

Be a more proactive in giving her a reason to see you. She's dropping hints like mad tho
Click to expand...

I see what you're saying. I'm really up for anything so I'm just seeing where this will go.

I'm currently seeing when she'll be in town and getting her # so we don't have to use Tinder to communicate. Depending on what she actually plans on doing when she is in town I suppose I'll base my actions around that.
 
L

Lulubop

Member
Advocatus Diaboli said:
Yeah, I know exactly how you're feeling, especially about getting something to work with. I play off people too, since I'm pretty terrible at talking about myself. In any case, the people telling you to take a break aren't wrong at all, but there's also something for getting out of a rut too. And of course you're sometimes good at flirting and sometimes not: everyone responds differently and has their own triggers.
Click to expand...

Yea, it's hard for me to talk about myself I feel. I need to play off of someone. Additionally alcohol also helps.
 
S

Salamando

Member
My profile must be doing something right. Started it back up monday-ish, got three likes (one was on accident from a gaffer checking it out, but I'm still counting it!), one unsolicited message, and one date next Tuesday!

Ain't much, but I always like proving to myself that I still have some game.
 
Z

zeemumu

Member
So I ended up setting up a legitmate
(somwhat)
OkCupid profile. I'm not going into it thinking that it's my final hope or anything, just kinda answering the questions and seeing how things go, taking a laid back approach to it. More or less the same way I treat Tinder. Funny story, I was out of town visiting my best friend over the weekend and I let her use my Tinder profile for a while and she did manage to get some matches. Granted they're all for that area so it doesn't really matter.

I'd be lying if I said that part of me doesn't feel kinda weird for going into the online dating world again.
 
L

Lulubop

Member
Some super hot girl, who's half naked in most of her pics just through me a softball on okc.

She said hey papi. You are guapo as hell haha. My name is...

If I dropped the ball on this one, it's really time to retire
 
Rest

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
And Rest thinks to himself Why am I getting a like from a random hot chick?
He reads her profile, short though it is, the answer is there: "Hi, I'm Blahblahblah, I just came to the US from Brazil and blah blah blah..."
Oh, he thinks to himself as he sighs.
 
D

Deleted member 529084

Unconfirmed Member
My Match find, current girlfriend week 5, is a never ending roller coaster...

Still some thirsty mofo's trying to fuck her I have to deal with daily..

MTV emailed her about a reality show regarding her work and being "young and attractive"

Promises me loyalty but says she has to work on repect...she can be venomous

And we spent about 2 grand on bondage toys today...
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
SPMH said:
My Match find, current girlfriend week 5, is a never ending roller coaster...

Still some thirsty mofo's trying to fuck her I have to deal with daily..

MTV emailed her about a reality show regarding her work and being "young and attractive"

Promises me loyalty but says she has to work on repect...she can be venomous

And we spent about 2 grand on bondage toys today...
Click to expand...

2OVLTlT.gif
 
S

SaskBoy

Member
Matched with this girl on Tinder, and she asks what my favorite color is. Not a great start, but now we're talking about her experience with bondage sex. Huh.
 
U

User 479360

Banned
stn said:
@Chewie

Personally I find it weird about this whole massage thing. Its like, "massage me and then go home. And in a few days you can massage my tits." I do think she's teasing you. What you should do in the future is escalate physical tension differently. Refuse stuff like massaging, cuddling, and so forth. I'm not a fan of the massaging thing because its one-sided, only you are pleasuring her. Should be something where both parties are getting hot in the moment. And cuddling is usually a death sentence if its done before sexy time or before being in an official relationship.

If I had to just "massage" a girl then I'd literally be forced to go home and finish the night watching porn.
Click to expand...

Salamando said:
Is this the same lady you massaged in early April - As detailed here.? How many times have you seen her since? It sounds like you're exactly where you were then.

If over the course of two months you've only gotten pics, she's wasting your time. She's likely using you to deal with her own insecurities. Figures if she can still get a late-20's man's blood pumping, she must still got it.
Click to expand...

I just got home from California and now have time to catch up with this thread and reply. Sorry for the delay, and thanks for your comments/help as always.

I did massage her on the first date back in April, yes. I also haven't seen her since, so I think she's just teasing me. It's a weird situation. She was really busy this spring because she followed her favourite team out of province and went to all of their playoff games pretty much, and also bowled/other things. But it bugged me she didn't make time to hang out.

Note that I'm not hung up on this situation, just confused. I have a feeling nothing will come out of it and am not obsessing. I just don't get it.
 
D

Deleted member 529084

Unconfirmed Member
Must haves..

Spreader Bar
Ball gag and Ring gag
Thigh sling
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Salamando said:
And according to the Dating thread, GAF also has a thing for women already in relationships. Guess we just like our women tied down.
Click to expand...

*dead*

Funny thing, someone came to my house last night and was like "I REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL BUT SHE HAS A MAN BUT HE'S LEAVING FOR TWO MONTHS I'M GONNA TRY AND TAP THAT" and everyone was like "Uh... don't."
It's also his boss, lol
I think a lot of people like that 'forbidden fruit' thing. It's cray.

SPMH said:
Must haves..

Spreader Bar
Ball gag and Ring gag
Thigh sling
Click to expand...

Wouldn't... rope or something be a must have? Cuffs? I think you're missing the most important part, here. :p
 
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