NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I've had my profile since May 20ish. I've been trying in earnest for two weeks.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
I've had my profile since May 20ish. I've been trying in earnest for two weeks.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Internal algorithms. This is going to sound terrible, but it's demonstrably true: after I started getting views and likes from attractive girls, the matches that would automatically display were also -- well, to put it bluntly -- better looking. Also, nearly everyone OKC displays for me is "Judaism, but not serious about it." I am not exactly sure why, but I'll roll with it. Oh, and I had plenty of views/messages back in the Feb/Mar timeframe before I started dating my now-ex, but not using the site regularly seems to drop you down to zero.
You can create activity on your end (in order to draw views) by removing one of your pictures and then uploading the same damn one. Editing your profile works too.
Update: If anyone was keeping track I got the girls #. I asked when she was coming to town and what she was doing last night. Basically I told her to hit me up when she got into town, and she was like for sure. She never got back to me after that after seeming like she wanted to hang out, but since I was indifferent about the whole situation I don't really care nor am I going to try and pursue this.
On to the next one.
On to the next one.
Gray Matter
Member
You know you went wrong somewhere when you have a dating site ask you if you'd let a partner lick your anus.
I'm done with online dating. The emotional distress this has caused me isn't worth it. Some might say I wasn't doing it right (not sending out enough messages, putting all my eggs in one basket, etc), which I agree with, but I quickly realized that I need to solve some internal/emotional issues within myself before persuing a relationship, and to be honest, at this stage in my life, although I am lonely, I don't see myself ever having a meaningful, lasting relationship with anyone. I knew from the beginning that this was going to be a failure, the small bit of positivity that I had wasn't enough.
Thanks to all of you who helped me when I had questions, who gave me advice when I needed it, and although it didn't lead nowhere, it was helpful.
Good luck to all of you in your search for love.
I'm done with online dating. The emotional distress this has caused me isn't worth it. Some might say I wasn't doing it right (not sending out enough messages, putting all my eggs in one basket, etc), which I agree with, but I quickly realized that I need to solve some internal/emotional issues within myself before persuing a relationship, and to be honest, at this stage in my life, although I am lonely, I don't see myself ever having a meaningful, lasting relationship with anyone. I knew from the beginning that this was going to be a failure, the small bit of positivity that I had wasn't enough.
Thanks to all of you who helped me when I had questions, who gave me advice when I needed it, and although it didn't lead nowhere, it was helpful.
Good luck to all of you in your search for love.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I hope you can figure you're stuff out and in time you can find somebody and be happy
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
at first i read "angles" as "angels" and i was like "that's an interesting way to describe someone"
then i re-read it.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
How much of a disparity? It's one thing to put your best chest forward, so to speak, but another thing entirely to be blatantly deceptive.
The angles and scarves hid her extra chins. There was a pretty big disparity. I'm cool with a little extra...i like a little extra. I don't like so much extra it becomes unhealthy.
BIGWORM
Member
We still call those "MySpace Angles"
Hahaha, don't hate the player guys, hate the game. People have their preferences whether it means tall athletic dudes, Hispanic dudes, beards, glasses, "dad bods," Asians, etc.
To be fair, there are people that get turned on by anal lingus and get off on it including several GAF members here. As long as it's safe and sanitary, anything goes in sex so just because it ask you doesn't mean you should answer it.
It's okay to take a break from online dating because while the weather might change, it will always be there. I bowed out of the dating scene for similar reasons in addition to accomplishing some personal goals.
The fact that you were in it trying to seek out a relationship because you're lonely means you were doing it wrong. I just turned 27 yesterday and while I've never been in a serious relationship, I'm perfectly happy being single and know that I'm not at a point in my life where I'm ready for one.
However, I do know that I'm looking to date around to seek out a casual/short-term relationship and new friends when I eventually do return to the online dating scene. This isn't meant to be condescending by the way.
So yeah man, if you have to take a break from it to take some time to figure yourself out and foster the relationships with your friends, then I honestly don't blame you. Do write down/type up some summer and set out to accomplish them whether it's spend more time with your friends, learn a new hobby, or volunteer.
So I have a few general words to say in regards to the thread. If any anyone checks the OP, I've added in a several links to all the apps that I mentioned to the Google Play store for more info as well updated some descriptions.
I also added in a link to the Happn app that GK86 mentioned above with my two cents on what it's about in a nutshell. MogCakes' "On a Typical Friday Night" post has also been added to the advice section since I thought it was pretty damn good stuff.
Some minor thread etiquette to remember so mods won't lock it: if you're going to post screenshots of messages, please make sure to black out the other person's face or simply post a quote of the message.
Lastly, here's the top 20 thread regulars so far (it's a bit outdated since posts went up):
I'll go back to lurking now.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
i post way too much apparently
Gray Matter
Member
Hahaha, don't hate the player guys, hate the game. People have their preferences whether it means tall athletic dudes, Hispanic dudes, beards, glasses, "dad bods," Asians, etc.
To be fair, there are people that get turned on by anal lingus and get off on it including several GAF members here. As long as it's safe and sanitary, anything goes in sex so just because it ask you doesn't mean you should answer it.
It's okay to take a break from online dating because while the weather might change, it will always be there. I bowed out of the dating scene for similar reasons in addition to accomplishing some personal goals.
The fact that you were in it trying to seek out a relationship because you're lonely means you were doing it wrong. I just turned 27 yesterday and while I've never been in a serious relationship, I'm perfectly happy being single and know that I'm not at a point in my life where I'm ready for one.
However, I do know that I'm looking to date around to seek out a casual/short-term relationship and new friends when I eventually do return to the online dating scene. This isn't meant to be condescending by the way.
So yeah man, if you have to take a break from it to take some time to figure yourself out and foster the relationships with your friends, then I honestly don't blame you. Do write down/type up some summer and set out to accomplish them whether it's spend more time with your friends, learn a new hobby, or volunteer.
So I have a few general words to say in regards to the thread. If any anyone checks the OP, I've added in a several links to all the apps that I mentioned to the Google Play store for more info as well updated some descriptions.
I also added in a link to the Happn app that GK86 mentioned above with my two cents on what it's about in a nutshell. MogCakes' "On a Typical Friday Night" post has also been added to the advice section since I thought it was pretty damn good stuff.
Some minor thread etiquette to remember so mods won't lock it: if you're going to post screenshots of messages, please make sure to black out the other person's face or simply post a quote of the message.
Lastly, here's the top 20 thread regulars so far (it's a bit outdated since posts went up):
I'll go back to lurking now.
It's not a break this time, I'm out for good.
What? Bro, we have the same birthday (as long as by yesterday you mean the 19th), and we're the same age!
Are you my long lost GAF twin?
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
That's what I mean. There's no reason that most of my messages go ignored in particular, but they are because I'm sending them out to strangers I know nothing about. I know why I'm messaging them, but don't know what they're looking for or what they respond to.
Hahaha, I never realized it until I saw the posts. I have a clear successor for OT 2. ;p
That's what they all say but before you know it, you'll be back. ;p
I jest
Online dating definitely isn't for everyone because as folks have said countless times in the past, it requires having a thick and shrugging off people who don't reply.
For recommended reading in general (I'll also throw this into the OP under a recommended reading section), I would definitely suggest people check out 30 Days of Online Dating which is from the perspective of an attractive ex-model but still very fascinating to read.
I'll also recommend these two Aziz Ansari articles/interviews on modern dating:
http://time.com/aziz-ansari-modern-romance/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/11/aziz-ansari-modern-romance_n_7555688.html
Whoa! We are! Happy belated Juneteenth to you too sister from another mother!
I didn't make a thread about it on GAF but I didn't do anything special unless you count #FF on Twitter and making comic panels. That means we were both born on Sunday, June 19, 1988 AKA Father's Day. I hope you're as a tanned as I am. Which reminds me that I need to change my avatar to a new real picture and post a recent picture in the picture thread.
I also think GAF member Jason's Ultimatum shares the same day but I believe he's 33 or 34.
In the end of the day it's very much a numbers game. In a perfect world where biases for skin color or socioeconomic status didn't matter, people would respond to messages left and right. The online dating scales are very much definitely tipped in favor of attractive people who to be fair, get bombarded with hundreds of messages a day. So while there's a large probability of getting ignored, you may as well try.Rest said:
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
So, I made an account for my friend today, and his fake account under which I'm speaking to girls under has already racked up as many likes and conversations and visitors that it took me a month to get as myself. He's white, btw.
This is kind of a bummer :/
#brownguystruggleisreal
I'm gonna take a break for a bit from OKC.
This is kind of a bummer :/
#brownguystruggleisreal
I'm gonna take a break for a bit from OKC.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Haha, you know what? I went on a hike with my friends and posed for a picture with them, they were all in the shade but I was standing in the sun, it evened out our skin tones. Depending on your brownness, you may have options. Fuck MySpace Angles, it's about MySpace Lighting.
She seems very negative about everything.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Hahaha, MySpace lighting. There's an idea.
But nah, I don't wanna wash out my skin like that. I am what I am. Maybe the beard and turban is scaring them off.
I don't know about that, she just uses a lot of sarcasm and was kind of doing it as a goof. Reading through, you can see that most of the people she met were just pretty decent nice guys. A lot of people in these threads seem to think that just being a nice person should be enough and that everybody else online is some sex crazed maniac. But the reality is that most dudes out there are perfectly normal and you need to offer a little more to stand out.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I think I'm gonna check out that Ansari book, Modern Romance.
Tinder a buzzin, an asian girl down to meet. Hoping for some casual fun.
I def wasn't traveling out to Pennsylvania today to hang with that middle eastern girl I've never met. She said she'll be in the city next week anyway. She seems sad and pretty down, looking for company. She's gorgeous though.
I def wasn't traveling out to Pennsylvania today to hang with that middle eastern girl I've never met. She said she'll be in the city next week anyway. She seems sad and pretty down, looking for company. She's gorgeous though.
Whoa! We are! Happy belated Juneteenth to you too sister from another mother!
I didn't make a thread about it on GAF but I didn't do anything special unless you count #FF on Twitter and making comic panels. That means we were both born on Sunday, June 19, 1988 AKA Father's Day. I hope you're as a tanned as I am. Which reminds me that I need to change my avatar to a new real picture and post a recent picture in the picture thread.
I also think GAF member Jason's Ultimatum shares the same day but I believe he's 33 or 34.
Yeah, I didn't do much either. Just work for half a day then stayed home stalking Twitter and GAF while gorging on free food, lol
And living in Florida has definitely made me tanner, lol. If I had red hair, I would've been the perfect ginger in the past xDOh, I should probably get back on topic.
I wouldn't quite say that. I mean, she certainly *was* negative at first, especially since she was doing the whole thing as a joke, but I think it's more sarcasm than anything.
Yeah, I didn't do much either. Just work for half a day then stayed home stalking Twitter and GAF while gorging on free food, lol
Oh, I should probably get back on topic.
I wouldn't quite say that. I mean, she certainly *was* negative at first, especially since she was doing the whole thing as a joke, but I think it's more sarcasm than anything.
Hahaha, nice. That's time pretty well spent. Twitter is a time sink! I need to get out of the city one of these days again to visit the famous Sunshine State. Haven't been out of state since March to work at PAX East. Girls that I went out with in the past all seemed to love going to Florida in the summer to get a tan. I heard that Floridians are very nice people when they're not driving. But yeah, this is totally off topic.
Any way, I'll agree that she's been pretty sarcastic about the whole thing which makes it more entertaining to read. If anything, what's really fascinating about it as a guy, is reading the red flags that she encounters such as one guy admitting he has anger management issues and that she doesn't know how to bail out of a bad date.
Another take away from it is that the successful guys spontaneously kiss her, they don't wait for the "right" moment to do so. My money seems to be on her ending with Tinder Oliver that he's hit all the right notes with her.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Well, be the ugliest dude in NYC that doesn't give a shit about how people think he looks.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
well, i think i got the worst response to "Pizza or sushi?" anyone can get.
"Either???"
i feel like she's questioning why i'm even bothering to ask that to begin with lol
"Either???"
i feel like she's questioning why i'm even bothering to ask that to begin with lol
D
Deleted member 529084
Unconfirmed Member
I'd like to just take a moment to thanks the gods...my penis is back in working order.
She came back from the Islands this morning, I was worried...
First time was some near limp dick drunk sex, which she dumped me for, the whole "You pounded me like a hooker" incident of 2015 (never forget)
Which still boggles my mind how I did so, I know my shit was up and down like a trombone slide. To be honest all I remember is stumbling out of this Cuban restaurant drunk as fuck, suggesting head while I went over the bridge, then dropping $125 for a Holiday Inn room for an hour...and my ween acting the fool.
Second time on her couch was baby dick, some tears (no, not me..I waited to the ride home) and a near break-up.
Third time was some average sex where I still was a shakey lil bitch. Head game saved the day I reckon on that one.
Tonight was Slay-athon...week away from her and enough dirty text did the trick. 3 hours of smack it up, flip it, rub it down Oh NOOOOO.
Feeling like god mode right now at 4am.
But...its been 5 weeks since we met on Match and she dropped these bomb on me afterwards.. "Would you move in here?" "We could covert the downstairs office into your sons room"
I'm 6 months out of a 14 year relationship, and a widower, shes 2 months out of a 19 year relationship 9 year marriage (High school sweethearts) I'm 36 with a 13 year old, shes 35 with a 2, 4, and 6 year old.
Dont get me wrong, shes HOT, brilliant, funny, and we ALWAYS have fun...but I dont know if I put much faith into finding THAT person so quick..but, I think I am falling in love with her...or I just may have to be honest.
Ah well, dinner and a movie tomorrow night...then I get the luxury of coming back to her house at 10:30 when her kids go to sleep.
Both of us are still being incognito due to the kids involved, plus theres always the chance her phycho ex is stalking the house and beats the shit out of me.
Sorry my skinny little Burberry wearing ass is not going toe to toe with a Rob Zombie look a like mofo, Im fetal positioning that beat down like a champ!
Next weekend tho...thats when the party starts lol
She came back from the Islands this morning, I was worried...
First time was some near limp dick drunk sex, which she dumped me for, the whole "You pounded me like a hooker" incident of 2015 (never forget)
Which still boggles my mind how I did so, I know my shit was up and down like a trombone slide. To be honest all I remember is stumbling out of this Cuban restaurant drunk as fuck, suggesting head while I went over the bridge, then dropping $125 for a Holiday Inn room for an hour...and my ween acting the fool.
Second time on her couch was baby dick, some tears (no, not me..I waited to the ride home) and a near break-up.
Third time was some average sex where I still was a shakey lil bitch. Head game saved the day I reckon on that one.
Tonight was Slay-athon...week away from her and enough dirty text did the trick. 3 hours of smack it up, flip it, rub it down Oh NOOOOO.
Feeling like god mode right now at 4am.
But...its been 5 weeks since we met on Match and she dropped these bomb on me afterwards.. "Would you move in here?" "We could covert the downstairs office into your sons room"
I'm 6 months out of a 14 year relationship, and a widower, shes 2 months out of a 19 year relationship 9 year marriage (High school sweethearts) I'm 36 with a 13 year old, shes 35 with a 2, 4, and 6 year old.
Dont get me wrong, shes HOT, brilliant, funny, and we ALWAYS have fun...but I dont know if I put much faith into finding THAT person so quick..but, I think I am falling in love with her...or I just may have to be honest.
Ah well, dinner and a movie tomorrow night...then I get the luxury of coming back to her house at 10:30 when her kids go to sleep.
Both of us are still being incognito due to the kids involved, plus theres always the chance her phycho ex is stalking the house and beats the shit out of me.
Sorry my skinny little Burberry wearing ass is not going toe to toe with a Rob Zombie look a like mofo, Im fetal positioning that beat down like a champ!
Next weekend tho...thats when the party starts lol
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
...
BIGWORM
Member
Wow, I made a Top 20 list...in THIS thread!? I don't know if that's good or bad, lol. Anyway, earlier how I said Match was working out for me? Yeah, it's REALLY working out for me. Had a 2nd Match date this past Thursday which I think I talked about before. Well, she wanted me to come over and talk...at 3 in the morning...in the next town where she lives. I drove to her place without hesitation. Turned into another 2 hour makeout session in her car, with a little bit of indecent exposure from both ends. I'm liking where this is going on Monday.
Giggity.
Giggity.
BIGWORM
Member
Good times?
D
Deleted member 529084
Unconfirmed Member
Haha, I know I, maybe both of us, sound a little bit immature about how this how thing is going down.
I think its cause both of us started are old relationships very young so this dating thing is BRAND new.
I been out the game since I was 22, she was with her husband since highschool.
We're both like two noobs unleashed on the world we missed in our 20's.
The lube and anal beads were throw in my the company, I didnt even order them. I did order the plug tho lol
Was actually worried about what she would say when I pulled the butt-plug out the box..
But the gods saw it fit to have her send me a text yesterday that read "How do you feel about anal sex?"
I high-fived myself
No way no how.
Thats like having mac and cheese when you have caviar waiting for you. I slept with a girl the week before we met but broke that completely off, as well as all the Match chicks I had on "hold" status cause I was worried this hotty was playing games.
I have about 8 texts unanswered which I will never respond too and a couple voice mails I deleted before I even listened too.
Everything is looking good, few little things I'm kinda leery about but really have no problem accepting.
The kids top the list. I got a 13, about to 14 year old so I'm basically in the home stretch. For me its like having a roommate with a bedtime and I can take his xbox away if he pisses me off.
Her with a 2, 4, and 6 year old is kinda like being at the finish line and someone telling you "Go back to start"
But to be honest its kinda cool in some regards. My wife never wanted kids so after my son was born she closed up shop. Every few years when I got baby blues....she bought me a puppy lol
I got 3 dogs and 1 kid...
Still really fighting the jealousy beast a few times a week. From her instagram to her Facebook to people she deals with via her job some fanboy will pop up and start emailing/DM'ing her.
One guy, the antiques collector/millionaire sent her a text with a pic of her house via Google Maps. He said some shit like "You can find everything online, be carefull, but dont worry when I show up I bring amazing gifts!"
Guys in his early 50's, never married and no kids and wears mom pants...I know she wont fuck around with him but that shit burns me up.
Kind of happy too she shot down the MTV casting request. She knew even if it happened they would edit it to make her look bad and most likely with her looks would spin her into being the sex pot.
D
Deleted member 529084
Unconfirmed Member
I removed them to be safe. I know their was no naughty bits but they were a bit racey
Yea, it was pretty fun. Probably wouldn't see her again tho. But man Tinder is really buzzing on Friday and Saturday with thirsty peeps, myself included.
I have a date later with a girl who is way outta my league career wise, and 6 years older. I asked her on a date before but I never followed thru and left her hanging. That was like a month ago, but she's been looking at my page again so I figure why not. Not really expecting anything, in fact I'm not sure why I'm wasting my time.
Additionally there are two girls on OKC who's replies I'm waiting for. Both are super attractive and a message away from securing a date, but they're not on to often.
I have a date later with a girl who is way outta my league career wise, and 6 years older. I asked her on a date before but I never followed thru and left her hanging. That was like a month ago, but she's been looking at my page again so I figure why not. Not really expecting anything, in fact I'm not sure why I'm wasting my time.
Additionally there are two girls on OKC who's replies I'm waiting for. Both are super attractive and a message away from securing a date, but they're not on to often.
stn
Member
Just wanted to reply to your comment about being the ugliest guy in NYC. I used to be friends with one guy. Let's just say he had every single undesirable physical quality in a man you could imagine (I can be specific in a PM but I'd rather not post publicly). I also happened to be his only friend. I actually tried helping him out with the opposite sex and even involved him outings. His insecurity was too much and he blamed me for all his problems. He turned out to be a huge prick.
You're not the "ugliest" dude anywhere, I can promise you that.
Oh yeah don't get me wrong it makes a lot of sense. I just didn't expect the long relationships from a young age for both of you. That's a good note about your son though, keeps to themselves but you still have power haha.
I matched with a girl on tinder, who while looking at their profile again I saw had two mutual friends which made me then realize she was one of their roommates. I had only briefly met them once at a party but they bailed somewhere. They're super attractive let's see how this goes! Side note that is a little weird, one of those mutual friends tried to set me up with her roommate and it didn't work out, hopefully nothing bad is said haha.
Yikes, that sounds... sorta creepy. Maybe you should be less mad and more worried about random dudes stalking her and knowing where she lives? O-o Like, sending her a picture of her house and saying be careful, but not to worry because he'll bring "amazing gifts"? Fucking gross.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I'm in a "when it rains, it pours" situation, possibly -- two dates set up for next week, and now a pretty amazing girl sends me an unsolicited message. Haven't met any of them yet, so I have no idea if we'll click.
Anyway, logistical question for this week's dates. We're meeting for drinks after work, which means I suspect they'll be coming directly from their jobs and wearing work clothes. That's not an option for me, because I wear a military uniform for work right now. Plus, it's also balls-dripping hot where I am, and girls have it so much easier in the summer.
Sheer comfort dictates that I should wear shorts, a short-sleeve button up, and loafers. Seem okay? I just don't want there to be a huge disparity in levels of dress, either.
Anyway, logistical question for this week's dates. We're meeting for drinks after work, which means I suspect they'll be coming directly from their jobs and wearing work clothes. That's not an option for me, because I wear a military uniform for work right now. Plus, it's also balls-dripping hot where I am, and girls have it so much easier in the summer.
Sheer comfort dictates that I should wear shorts, a short-sleeve button up, and loafers. Seem okay? I just don't want there to be a huge disparity in levels of dress, either.
I know what you mean. This one woman I met through Tinder, wanted to meet after work. I sweat too much in this NYC heat, so I was worried about how I would look like at the end of the day. Lucky for me, I can wear what I want to work, but I always like to feel fresh for dates.
Anyway, what you are planning on wearing is fine.
Anyway, what you are planning on wearing is fine.
I'd like to just take a moment to thanks the gods...my penis is back in working order.
She came back from the Islands this morning, I was worried...
First time was some near limp dick drunk sex, which she dumped me for, the whole "You pounded me like a hooker" incident of 2015 (never forget)
Which still boggles my mind how I did so, I know my shit was up and down like a trombone slide. To be honest all I remember is stumbling out of this Cuban restaurant drunk as fuck, suggesting head while I went over the bridge, then dropping $125 for a Holiday Inn room for an hour...and my ween acting the fool.
Second time on her couch was baby dick, some tears (no, not me..I waited to the ride home) and a near break-up.
Third time was some average sex where I still was a shakey lil bitch. Head game saved the day I reckon on that one.
Tonight was Slay-athon...week away from her and enough dirty text did the trick. 3 hours of smack it up, flip it, rub it down Oh NOOOOO.
Feeling like god mode right now at 4am.
But...its been 5 weeks since we met on Match and she dropped these bomb on me afterwards.. "Would you move in here?" "We could covert the downstairs office into your sons room"
I'm 6 months out of a 14 year relationship, and a widower, shes 2 months out of a 19 year relationship 9 year marriage (High school sweethearts) I'm 36 with a 13 year old, shes 35 with a 2, 4, and 6 year old.
Dont get me wrong, shes HOT, brilliant, funny, and we ALWAYS have fun...but I dont know if I put much faith into finding THAT person so quick..but, I think I am falling in love with her...or I just may have to be honest.
Ah well, dinner and a movie tomorrow night...then I get the luxury of coming back to her house at 10:30 when her kids go to sleep.
Both of us are still being incognito due to the kids involved, plus theres always the chance her phycho ex is stalking the house and beats the shit out of me.
Sorry my skinny little Burberry wearing ass is not going toe to toe with a Rob Zombie look a like mofo, Im fetal positioning that beat down like a champ!
Next weekend tho...thats when the party starts lol
If any of this is to extreme lemme know, I dont want to get banned and will remove it if so.
