NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Yeah, I think I'll do that.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Yeah, I think I'll do that.
Tried everything and anything and nothing works
Gray Matter
Member
And I was right. Another message in the middle of the night.
Edit: and here we go, like usual me I'm getting my hopes up.
Edit: and here we go, like usual me I'm getting my hopes up.
In my case, when that message popped up, it kicked me back to the login screen and it worked fine.
lemmykoopa
Junior Member
I have a question regarding online dating.
Now I've been mildly invested in ok-cupid/tinder for a few weeks, and I have had quite a bit of luck when messaging people.
However, in reviewing messages/likes/visitors sent to me (not my own exported), I've noticed that around 95% of them have been from overweight/obese women. There is nothing necessarily offensive about this, but I'm wondering if there is a particular reason for this.
Now I've been mildly invested in ok-cupid/tinder for a few weeks, and I have had quite a bit of luck when messaging people.
However, in reviewing messages/likes/visitors sent to me (not my own exported), I've noticed that around 95% of them have been from overweight/obese women. There is nothing necessarily offensive about this, but I'm wondering if there is a particular reason for this.
Because the pretty/average looking girls get a ton of attention and don't have to seek it out.
Out of curiosity, why do you get your hopes up over every single message you recieve? Don't you find that a bit weird?
Gray Matter
Member
Because my mind likes to play game with me. It gives the feeling that "wow, someone is actually engaging with me" and expects everything is going to go fantastic, when in reality, it goes to shit every time.
Pretty much. The competition is insane.
I suppose that does make sense.
User 479360
Banned
So, I have a date tomorrow night. Perhaps just coffee or something, I'm not sure. She's been texting me a decent amount, but I haven't gone crazy with the texting or getting too in-depth like you guys recommended.
We're getting along well, though.
Also, a good-looking single mom liked me. But I don't think I'd be good with kids.
We're getting along well, though.
Also, a good-looking single mom liked me. But I don't think I'd be good with kids.
Cos you're black?
I have tried everything and anything and Tinder still ain't replied. They expect people to pay £10 a month for this....
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
So I think you guys may have been right about the swinger chick being some kind of bait for a scam. The guy said last week that I should expect to meet her this week end, nothing materialized. This week he gave me some vague story about something bad happening to her this week end. I didn't really bite that, and have gotten no contact since my response to that message.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Be more assertive about what your date will entail (coffee at night is a little uncommon, maybe go out for drinks instead). Otherwise keep the texts light: show interest but don't reveal too much about yourself (save that for the actual date).
You're looking way too far ahead with the single mom. She just "liked" you. It doesn't mean anything yet, and the fact she has a kid shouldn't discourage you. You're not meeting the kid on a first date and you're not going to be that kid's stepdad. If she's good-looking and has a nice profile, just message her. You never know what will happen.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
French fries and coffee is my ideal night date.
Any girls be up for that, I wonder
Any girls be up for that, I wonder
Mind PMing me the details?
Pizza and Mario Kart, now THAT'S a date.
Gray Matter
Member
I've been focusing so much on trying to get a date that I forgot what I would do if I were to get one lol.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I've gotten a lot of likes recently, and OKC has been showing me much better looking women.
On another note, I just stumbled upon a profile where the girl says she's porn actress. I though "oh, okay, that's kind of a funny joke," but there was no follow up. So I looked, and indeed there are naked pictures of her on Google. Okay, mind blown a little that that's something she'd put in her profile, so it must be an ad, right? I keep reading, and it doesn't seem to be. It seems she's actually looking for people to date, writes a lot about herself and her interests. Weirdest profile I've seen to date.
On another note, I just stumbled upon a profile where the girl says she's porn actress. I though "oh, okay, that's kind of a funny joke," but there was no follow up. So I looked, and indeed there are naked pictures of her on Google. Okay, mind blown a little that that's something she'd put in her profile, so it must be an ad, right? I keep reading, and it doesn't seem to be. It seems she's actually looking for people to date, writes a lot about herself and her interests. Weirdest profile I've seen to date.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Well her work name is her screen name on OKC, but remember the warning of Admiral Ackbar...
I forgot to mention I uploaded a picture using the desktop app. I deleted the picture and it works now. How fucking stupid.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Just got back from the date I mentioned earlier. It's surreal to spend 3 hours with someone fully realizing that you'll never see them again. I don't know what (if anything) about me was off-putting, but she barely made eye contact, even though I managed to stay engaged the whole time. It was just oddly unnerving: there were no gaps in conversation, either, and there was some laughter. It's entirely possible that she was shy, equally possible that she was being nice but completely disinterested, or something else entirely. Probably some combination of the first two.
Dating is such a chore. I'm dreading logging back onto that damned site to try this rodeo again, but it's really the best way to meet people.
Dating is such a chore. I'm dreading logging back onto that damned site to try this rodeo again, but it's really the best way to meet people.
Gray Matter
Member
I wonder at what forsaken time of night she'd reply to my message this time.
I didn't even know they had a desktop app.
Oh damn, haven't been on in a while that sucks, it was super useful.
Too true friend.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I am... so... so... so dumb.
So dumb.
Me and my friends are out at the beach today and we pass by the beautiful girl in an orange dress. And then we cross paths with her again. And then the third time, me and my friends are discussing whether it's too early to start planning for Halloween and we pass the girl a third time! And as we're passing her, I turn to her and I ask if it's too early to start planning for Halloween. She grins and says no since Halloween's her birthday! And her friend said it was too soon and I was shocked at that. I cracked a couple jokes, and then...
we high fived and we parted ways. Shit, I am pretty sure I could have kept that going and gotten her number. This was literally God giving me a chance, and then me blowing it, and then Him just sitting there going "What the fuck, man." The Girl in the Orange Dress.
Better luck this weekend!
But hey, given how last weekend went, and how this one's starting off, I got a great feeling about this weekend!
I am... so... so... so dumb.
So dumb.
Me and my friends are out at the beach today and we pass by the beautiful girl in an orange dress. And then we cross paths with her again. And then the third time, me and my friends are discussing whether it's too early to start planning for Halloween and we pass the girl a third time! And as we're passing her, I turn to her and I ask if it's too early to start planning for Halloween. She grins and says no since Halloween's her birthday! And her friend said it was too soon and I was shocked at that. I cracked a couple jokes, and then...
we high fived and we parted ways. Shit, I am pretty sure I could have kept that going and gotten her number. This was literally God giving me a chance, and then me blowing it, and then Him just sitting there going "What the fuck, man." The Girl in the Orange Dress.
Better luck this weekend!
But hey, given how last weekend went, and how this one's starting off, I got a great feeling about this weekend!
That's classic Craigslist missed connection fodder.
Throw it up there.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Does anyone under the age of 40 actually do that...?
I look at it every once and a while for a laugh.
Maybe she has a similar mindset.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Wait, I have a female friend whose birthday is on Halloween...
I'm surprised you stuck it out for 3 hours.
I'm surprised you stuck it out for 3 hours.
Hello GAF
OK, after an amazing time reading posts(some are hilarious) here, I gave a chance to OKC. After one day, i was having a few match and responses, chatting with two girls but nothing more.
But today, i had The match. I was excited(not that way) by just reading her profile, amazed by the connections. I decided to msg her and she responded after 1 minute.
We exchanged about 30 long and short msgs when i realized i was putting too much energy into it.
Not that i don't want to know more about this girl but i'm worried if i scare her. It's hard to show my personality when a person has a lot in common. I don't want to give her the impression that i'm too easy or desperate.
Anyone to give directions in this case?
OK, after an amazing time reading posts(some are hilarious) here, I gave a chance to OKC. After one day, i was having a few match and responses, chatting with two girls but nothing more.
But today, i had The match. I was excited(not that way) by just reading her profile, amazed by the connections. I decided to msg her and she responded after 1 minute.
We exchanged about 30 long and short msgs when i realized i was putting too much energy into it.
Not that i don't want to know more about this girl but i'm worried if i scare her. It's hard to show my personality when a person has a lot in common. I don't want to give her the impression that i'm too easy or desperate.
Anyone to give directions in this case?
30 Messages? Ask her out for coffee or drinks. One of the big rules of online dating is move things into the real world quickly.
Yeah... 17 from me.
I didn't know about this rule(i always had a different perception). Thanks for the advice
Doing it right know.
I always try to obtain their number within ten messages, and secure a date within thirty. It's challenging but has always worked for me.
it's unofficial
There's usually an equivalent in whatever the free weekly alternative paper in your city is that is picked up by younger people.
I love reading missed connections.
stn
Member
This is basically why you want to limit your messages sent and never write too much. You just never know if the other person has a legitimate interest or is just bored, afraid to reject you, and so forth. Send 2-3 messages a day, do it for about 2-3 days, and then secure a number and date simultaneously. Once you get the number, text only to finalize date plans.
This is the blueprint I try to follow.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I went to the feedback area and complained. I used that little grid too much for them to just get rid of it.
I'd be playful with the absurdity of online dating.
'Oh really? I usually give mine out by message 17. That's when I'm positive things are real. '
Kid Kamikaze10
Member
The biggest problem I'm having is that I just run out of steam. Maybe it's because I play it too safe while texting/messaging, but the effort it takes to finally get the date is too time consuming.
I know the feeling, that's why you should just limit yourself and not get too deep into the messaging. I had a cute girl on Sunday visit my profile and I pulled the "Pretty girl visited my page but no message? Sadness~" line which got her to respond to me, and we had a pretty good exchange in the evening but then she went radio silent on Monday. Chances are she was just bored and decided to reply. Such is the nature of online dating.
I was browsing my matches yesterday and saw this cute girl has a very high match % and very low enemy %, into gaming, lives a mile away, works a mile away from my work, etc. Went to send her a message and was surprised that I actually already did message her last year (with no response of course). So I just sent her a little message pretty much detailing that and good luck on her search and stuff, and she actually responded!
I guess what I'm trying to say is...now we're exchanging messages and despite us having tons in common and live/work so close, I refuse to get too excited about it because if I do get excited every time a potential awesome girl shows up it'll be like a roller coaster and I'll run out of steam, just like you said. It's hard and it sucks but that's what we signed up for when we entered online dating. I'm casually pushing this one to meet in RL because I'm positive she gets dozens of messages daily, so I'm hoping to get away from that asap.
User 479360
Banned
I've run out of steam with life in general, and don't know how I'm going to go on, but that's my depression talking.
I'm getting kind of sick of playing the online dating game, though. I talk to people, then it just dissipates into nothingness. I'm boring, but I try.
I've got a date tonight, though, so hopefully it'll go well. My mind is just racing trying to figure out a way to get past the coffee part of it. We're going to Tim Horton's for coffee, which hopefully won't be awkward, then maybe to a movie.
I'm getting kind of sick of playing the online dating game, though. I talk to people, then it just dissipates into nothingness. I'm boring, but I try.
I've got a date tonight, though, so hopefully it'll go well. My mind is just racing trying to figure out a way to get past the coffee part of it. We're going to Tim Horton's for coffee, which hopefully won't be awkward, then maybe to a movie.